A Plain and Simple Christmas (4 page)

“Ya,”
she whispered. She grabbed two glasses of water and sat across from him. Thoughts swirled through her mind like a tornado. Guilt weighed down on her, feeling like a stone sitting on her chest and stealing her breath. How could she possibly deceive the man who’d been her best friend and confidante since she was a child?

“Is something wrong, Katie?” he asked, lifting his glass. “You seem preoccupied.” He took a long drink.

Kathryn cleared her throat. “I spoke to Anna Mae today.”

His eyes widened with shock. “You spoke to her? What do you mean?”

She took a sip of water and cleared her throat. “She called the bakery.”

“How is she?”

“She’s doing
gut.”
She traced the condensation on the glass with her fingertip. “She and Kellan still want to come and
visit for
Grischtdaag.
I told her it sounded like a nice idea.” She inhaled a breath, awaiting his response.

“Katie.” Reaching over, he took her hand in his. “You know it’s a bad idea. I told you we’ll go visit her in the spring, and that’s what we’ll do. Forget any plans for their coming for
Grischtdaag.
It just won’t work out the way you’d like.”

“But David, it’s
Grischtdaag.
The family should be together.”

“You know as well as I do that having Anna Mae and her husband here would just upset my
dat.
We don’t want that at
Grischtdaag.
We’ll go to Baltimore and visit Anna Mae in the spring and discuss inviting her back another time. We’ll have to warn my
daed
about it and prepare for the visit. Having them just drop in would cause problems that I’m not ready to face.”

“But I really feel that this is the time to invite her,” she said slowly, choosing her words as best she could. “It feels like God is leading me to this. I feel it strongly in my heart, David. I’m not just making this decision lightly. It’s coming from the very depths of my soul.”

“I’m too tired to discuss this now, Katie.” He yawned. “The store was busy all day long, and I’m ready to read the Bible and relax. We’ll go see my
schweschder
in the spring. That’s it. It’s decided.” He stood. “This discussion is over.” He started for the door.

“Wait.” Kathryn stood and took a deep breath. “I’m not finished.”

Turning, he raised his eyebrows.

“You read the letter,” she said. “Anna Mae and Kellan are expecting their first child. They want to rebuild their
relationship with the family for the child’s sake.” She stepped over to him. “Surely you can understand that.”

He frowned. “I’ve already told you that we’ll visit her in the spring. You need to let this go. A Christmas visit is not a good idea. There’s nothing else to discuss.”

“But David—”

He grimaced. “There’s nothing else to discuss, Kathryn.” He turned and crossed the room, and Kathryn’s resentment simmered in her soul.

Glowering, she snatched the glasses from the table and washed them. David had a knack for deciding when a discussion was over, whether she was finished making her case or not. David had no problem walking away when they’d had a heated debate. He would let it go, not discussing it any further. He would probably be reticent the rest of the evening, but by tomorrow he’d be past it, acting as if the disagreement had never happened. However, Kathryn would hang onto her resentment, mulling the problem over and over again in her mind and thinking of everything she should’ve said to him to make her case.

She knew tonight would be one of those nights when she’d go to bed and lie awake for hours, probably most of the night. While drying the glasses, she contemplated Anna Mae. Kathryn’s heart had swelled at the sound of Anna Mae’s voice. She had sounded so hopeful on the phone, so desperate to be reunited with her family.

How could a family reunion at Christmastime be wrong? Wasn’t that the best time of year for a family to work out issues and become one again? Besides, Anna Mae was building bridges for her unborn child. Surely David understood that!

David’s concern regarding his father’s temper was valid. Henry Beiler was a strict bishop who stuck to the rules and expected the district, especially his family, to follow suit.

While Henry was a stickler for the Amish way, he also had a big heart. She’d seen him drop whatever he was doing to help a family in need. He’d organized more than one barn raising, and he had also spent long hours helping Kathryn’s father and brothers rebuild the furniture store after it burned down. Kathryn loved and respected her father-in-law, and she believed that deep down he missed his youngest daughter and would be overjoyed to see her come back at Christmas. Why couldn’t David see that?

Kathryn placed the clean glasses into the cabinet and squeezed her eyes shut. She wished she knew the right answer. Was inviting Anna Mae to Christmas against her husband’s wishes a mistake? Was it a sin to make the plans behind her husband’s back? Of course it was, since she’d have to lie to David in order to arrange for Anna Mae to come. Lying was always a sin.

But was not revealing the whole truth a lie?

She rubbed her temples. Of course it was a lie. She’d punished her children more than once for leaving out important details in their stories, telling them they’d lied.

Kathryn folded her hands. She needed a sign. She needed God to reveal the right answer to her.

Gnawing her lower lip, she sent up a silent prayer to God, asking—no pleading with Him—for a sign, a clear-cut sign, that inviting Anna Mae was the right decision for the Beiler family’s Christmas.

S
aturday morning, Kathryn wiped down the counter in the large, open bakery kitchen. When a flurry of Pennsylvania
Dietsch
floated in from the front of the store, she moved to the doorway and found her mother-in-law, Mary Rose, chatting with her mother and Amanda.

Kathryn approached Mary Rose and hugged her.
“Wie geht’s?”

“Gut.”
Mary Rose smiled. “How are you?”

“Gut.
What brings you out here?” Kathryn asked.

“I wanted to see how you all were doing.” She glanced toward Elizabeth. “David told me the bakery has been hectic with Englishers coming in for goodies for their Christmas parties. I’m glad to hear the bakery is staying so busy.”

“Ya,
it has been busy. You’ve come by during a lull today. We had a rush earlier.” Elizabeth gestured toward the kitchen. “Can I get you some coffee and a piece of chocolate cake?”

Mary Rose brightened. “That sounds
wunderbaar. Danki.”

Elizabeth touched Amanda’s arm. “Will you help me?”

“Ya,”
Amanda said, following her into the kitchen.

Kathryn gestured toward one of the small tables across from the counter. “Let’s have a seat. It’s nice and quiet now,
so we can talk for a while.” She led Mary Rose to the table. “How’s Henry doing?” she asked as she sat.

“Oh, he’s
gut,”
Mary Rose said, lowering herself into a chair. “He’s been busy at the store. I’m sure David has told you that they’ve had a nonstop stream of customers the past week.”

“Ya,
he has.” Kathryn ran her fingers over the cool wooden table. “I’m glad to hear it.”

Mary Rose’s gaze focused across the room and her smile faded. “Can I tell you something, Kathryn?”

“Of course.
Was iss letz?”

“Nothing’s wrong, but there’s something I want to share with you because I know you’ll understand.” Mary Rose sighed and looked at Kathryn. “Lately, I can’t stop thinking about Anna Mae. I’ve dreamed of her nearly every night the past week. I can’t stop worrying about her.”

Kathryn cupped her hand to her mouth to squelch the gasp bubbling up from her throat. Was this the sign from God she’d prayed for?

Mary Rose, unaffected by Kathryn’s reaction, kept talking. “I want to know how she is. Is she
froh
with her life with Kellan in Baltimore? Does she need anything? Does she miss us? Does she have any
kinner?
If so, will I ever know them?”

“Have you tried to contact her lately?” Kathryn asked, hoping to conceal her shock at Mary Rose’s revelation.

Mary Rose shook her head, tears glistening in her brown eyes. “Not since last
Grischtdaag.
She sends me a card with a short letter every year and I send her one in return.”

“Have you ever considered inviting her for
Grischtdaag?”
Kathryn bit her lip, hoping Mary Rose would say yes.

Frowning, Mary Rose shook her head. “Henry wouldn’t hear of it.”

“But we’re permitted to see those who are shunned. You know that.”

“You know your father-in-law.” Mary Rose’s voice quavered, and she cleared her throat and wiped her eyes. “He would only agree to see her if she were coming back to make things right with the church. I believe her love for Kellan is strong and she’s left the Amish church for good. I just wish I could see her again. No matter what, she’s my
dochder,
and I miss her terribly.”

Kathryn traced the wood grain on the table. “What if she came to visit you? How do you think Henry would react?”

Mary Rose’s expression was pensive. “If Anna Mae were to come here, Henry would have to face her, wouldn’t he?” Her expression fell. “But she won’t come. After what Henry said to her, she has no reason to come back.”

“Unless she misses you as much as you miss her.” Kathryn raised her eyebrows in response to Mary Rose’s surprised expression.

Elizabeth sidled up to the table balancing a tray of four cups of coffee with Amanda in tow, holding a tray with a chocolate cake, forks, and napkins. While Amanda set out the cake and place settings, Elizabeth added a mug at each setting.

“Enjoy,” Elizabeth said as she sat across from Mary Rose.

Mary Rose forked some chocolate cake into her mouth and moaned. “This is
wunderbaar. Danki,
Elizabeth.”

Kathryn ate a moist piece of cake and sipped the coffee while Elizabeth and Mary Rose discussed the weather, their
families, and upcoming holidays. Their conversation was only background noise to the thoughts whirling through her mind. Mary Rose’s eyes had spoken volumes of the emotions in her soul for Anna Mae—sadness, regret, love, and worry.

Was this the sign from God that Kathryn had been waiting for?

Yes! Absolutely it was!

The answer was right before Kathryn—she needed to arrange for Anna Mae to visit at Christmas. God was giving her the direction, and she needed to let Him use her to heal the Beiler family.

Kathryn tried her best to appear interested in the idle conversation around her, nodding and smiling at the appropriate times. However, internally, she was swallowing her excitement and anticipation. She couldn’t wait to call her friends in Paradise and see if their bed and breakfast was available the week of Christmas.

She needed to be discreet with the plans so David didn’t find out before Anna Mae arrived. Because if he did…

“Kathryn?” a voice asked.

Kathryn looked up and found her mother-in-law’s brown eyes studying her.

“Are you okay?” Mary Rose asked.

“Ya.”
Kathryn cleared her throat, hoping to appear casual. “I was just thinking about everything I have to do before
Grischtdaag.”
In her peripheral vision, Kathryn spotted her mother giving her a skeptical look. Elizabeth was always a master at reading her children’s expressions and their true emotions.

“I reckon I’d better be going,” Mary Rose said.
“Danki
for
a lovely visit and delicious food.” She stood and gathered her dirty mug, fork, and napkin.

Amanda rose and took the items from her and set them on the table. “Just leave it,
Grossmammi.
I’ll take care of it.” She hugged her. “I’m glad you came to see us.”

Mary Rose kissed Amanda’s head. “Oh,
danki,
Amanda. You’re such a sweet
maedel.”
Looping her arm around Amanda’s shoulders, they started for the door.

Kathryn followed them to the door. “It was
wunderbaar
to see you,
Mamm.
We’ll visit you soon.” She gave her a quick hug, and while Amanda and Elizabeth said their goodbyes, Kathryn hurried back to the table and loaded a tray with the dirty forks, mugs, and napkins.

Kathryn was washing the mugs and forks when Elizabeth came up behind her.

“What was really on your mind during Mary Rose’s visit?” Elizabeth asked.

Wiping her hands on a rag, Kathryn faced her. “I think God spoke to me today.”

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. “When?”

“While you and Amanda were preparing the cake and coffee, Mary Rose spilled her heart to me, telling me how much she’s been thinking of Anna Mae and wishing she could see her and know she was doing well.”

Elizabeth gasped. “Oh my.”

Kathryn dropped the rag on the counter and grasped Elizabeth’s sleeves. “This is the sign I prayed for. I asked God to give me a sign that I’m doing the right thing by helping Anna Mae come for a visit. This was the sign,
Mamm.
He answered me, and I’m going to listen.”

Elizabeth smiled. “So it seems that God does bless this visit from Anna Mae.”

“I guess so,” Kathryn said. “Would you walk out front with me?” She led her mother to the front counter. “Do you think I should make a reservation for them at the Paradise B&B so they have privacy? They may want to get away from the family at night and be alone.”

Elizabeth nodded and fished the phone book from the pile of papers on the desk. “That’s a great idea. I’ll find the number for you.” She pointed out the number, and Kathryn’s heart pounded as she dialed.

While the phone rang, she hoped David would forgive her for going behind his back and that God would lead the family to a joyous reconciliation in honor of His Son’s birth.

On Sunday, Kathryn carried a pitcher of water from her sister-in-law Vera Zook’s kitchen to the large family room where the rows of tables were set for the noon meal after the church service. Keeping with tradition, the service had been held in the large room with the moveable walls pushed out in order to accommodate the backless benches for the members of the church district. Families within the district took turns hosting the services every other Sunday during the year. A schedule was set up in advance so that each family would know when it was their turn.

After the four-hour service, the benches were transformed into tables, and the women retired to the kitchen to prepare the food and serve the men first. Each family provided a dish.

Pennsylvania
Dietsch
echoed throughout the room as Kathryn made her way around, refilling cups and nodding to friends and family. Her eyes moved to a small table in the back of the room, off on its own away from the crowd, where an English couple, friends of her sister Beth Anne, sat chatting.

That’s where Anna Mae and Kellan would sit—by themselves, away from the family.

The thought came to Kathryn before she could stop it. Her thoughts had been with Anna Mae during the service. Instead of concentrating on the bishop and ministers who had been preaching the Word, Kathryn found herself glancing over toward the English couple sitting in the back, off by themselves, during the service.

If Anna Mae and Kellan were to visit and attend a service, they too would sit alone, away from the family, like strangers—perhaps not strangers, but more like visitors instead of members of the family.

Finding her pitcher empty, Kathryn stepped back into the kitchen where Anna Mae’s three sisters, Barbie, Vera, and Fannie, were flittering around the kitchen, preparing to bring out the cakes and cookies for dessert. Kathryn wondered how they would react to seeing their youngest sister again. Would they welcome her with open arms despite the pain of her leaving? Or would they be standoffish, giving her a mere nod and cold greeting when she arrived?

“Kathryn,” Vera said, holding out a plate of cookies. “Would you take these out?”

“Of course,” Kathryn said, taking the dish. She paused. “Have you heard from Anna Mae lately?”

Vera stopped and her eyes widened with surprise. “No, I haven’t heard from her since last Christmas. She always sends me a card. Have you?”

Kathryn nodded. “I have.”

“You have?” Vera asked. She turned to her sisters. “Fannie! Barbie! Kathryn’s heard from Anna Mae.”

The three sisters surrounded Kathryn.

Vera asked, “How is Anna Mae?”

“When did you hear from her?” Fannie demanded.

“Is she happy with that English man?” Barbie chimed in.

“She’s doing well,” Kathryn said, gripping the plate. “She and Kellan are very happy and are expecting their first baby.”

The three sisters gasped and then fired off more questions about Anna Mae’s life. Kathryn held up her hand, and they stopped speaking.

“The baby is due in January,” Kathryn said. “Anna Mae and Kellan are both doing well. She said she misses the family and would like to reconnect with everyone for the sake of the baby.” Kathryn bit her bottom lip, debating how much to share. “She wants to come visit.”

“Oh.” Barbie frowned. “I don’t know how
Daed
would react to that.”

Fannie nodded. “Probably not a good idea.”

“I think it would be
wunderbaar gut,”
Vera said. “When does she want to come?”

“She’s still working out the details,” Kathryn said.

“She should wait until after the baby is born,” Fannie said while Barbie nodded in agreement. “That would help smooth things over with
Daed.”

“Ya,”
Barbie added.

“I disagree,” Vera said, touching Kathryn’s arm. “Any time would be
gut.
Her visit might be awkward, but it would start to mend some fences.”

Kathryn glanced down at the cookies. “I better get these out to the men before they start complaining.” She stepped out into the family room with Vera in tow.

“Does Anna Mae want to come soon?” Vera whispered.

Kathryn nodded.
“Ya.
Very soon.”

Vera raised her eyebrows in question. “How soon?”

“For Christmas,” Kathryn said.

Vera patted her arm. “Tell her to come.
Daed
and my siblings may be against her visit, but it would heal my
mamm’s
broken heart.”

Kathryn smiled. “I’ll do that.”

Later that evening, Kathryn waited until David was snoring before she padded downstairs to the kitchen and found her stationery in the drawer. In the light of the gas lantern, she wrote a letter to Anna Mae, outlining the plans for her trip. After signing it, she sealed it in the envelope and addressed it. She then placed it in the pocket of her apron hanging on the peg in the kitchen and tiptoed up to bed.

As she snuggled down under the covers next to David, Kathryn whispered a prayer to God, telling Him that she hoped she was honoring His wishes and asking Him to use her as He saw fit to bring the Beiler family back together for Christmas.