A Taste of Honey (16 page)

I
was walking out the door of Solbiato in Georgetown, after grabbing a couple pairs of Prada shoes and a couple of shirts, when my lawyer called me from Los Angeles. The first words out of her mouth were, “Are you ready for this?”

My heart soared when I heard that. I could tell from her tone that there was nothing coming but good news. Aretha Towns was one of the most powerful black women in Hollywood and I was lucky to have her representing me. I loved her from the first day we sat down, and her enthusiasm was the reason why. She believed in my ability to become a great filmmaker at the start. Now here she was on the other end of the line, so excited for me that she couldn’t even get the words out.

“I’m ready,” I responded, having only a guess at what she wanted to share.

“An offer from Fox Searchlight came in today. They want to buy your movie and offer you a three-picture deal. I have a contract that they sent here for you.” I was speechless. I stopped in my tracks just as I reached my vehicle. “Khalil, you there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. Just not believing what I’m hearing. When?”

“Well, I told you about the screening, but I didn’t mention that I’d pulled some strings to get a few more execs to view it, with the intent of creating a buzz. It just so happened that the people I pulled in turned out to be interested. Now, here you are with a dream deal in your lap.”

“I don’t know what to say. Thank you.” I went on uttering a few more statements expressing my disbelief at my good fortune.

“You deserve it. You did a great job with your first shot and I’m sure you’ll make the most of this opportunity. I’ll look it over and have it out to you overnight.”

“Hold up. I have a new address. Let me get it for you.” It felt strange saying that. “So what are the terms as far as dollars and cents?”

“A million and a half for your movie, and the development deal is worth anywhere from six to ten. With the right movies and right budgeting you could walk away with at least a couple million in your pocket easily.”

As I pulled onto P Street I digested her words. I couldn’t believe it. I’d made it. Nothing could stop me from this point. We talked as I cruised toward the house. Aretha outlined every detail to a T. “A lot of money and work are headed your way. Get ready for the bi-lifestyle.” She laughed.

“Say what?”

“Bi-coastal.” She giggled. “You’re gonna need a place out here in L.A. What did you think I meant?”

“Hell, I didn’t think I heard you right.” I laughed.

As I pulled onto 395 my line beeped from a call.
Private Caller
appeared on my screen. Against my better judgment I ended my
call with Aretha, told her I’d be on the lookout for the contract, and clicked over.

“Khalil?”

“Who’s this?”

“It’s Cameron.”

“Hello.”

“Hello to you. I haven’t heard from you and I just wanted to reach out to you…” she paused and then she added, “I wanted to apologize to you for what happened.”

“Well it’s done and I don’t hold anything against you.”

“That’s good.”

Then we both went silent as if there were things to be said but neither of us knew what to say. After the silence continued for nearly half a minute she blurted out, “There’s something I need to tell you…”

Sensing that she was about to confess her feelings I cut her off. “Listen, Cameron, I’m a man and I’ve realized that even though there are some things in my background that might cause me to blur the lines when it comes to boundaries, I can’t make excuses for myself or my actions. The situation that occurred, I should have handled it better. I’m in a relationship and I am happy for the first time. I don’t blame you, because I know that for you to come on to me like that, you would have had to be in a very vulnerable state.”

“Khalil,” she tried to stop me but I continued on.

“Don’t be embarrassed. I was actually flattered because I’ve always found you attractive and I still do, but…” Time stood still as I delivered the end of my sentence. “…I’m in love.”

I heard sniffling coming through the phone then she said, “I have to go. I’ll have my secretary call you…about an appointment.”

“Yeah, I was going to call this week because…” I got the feeling that we had gotten disconnected as the other line grew dead-silent. I looked at the screen and saw
Call Ended
. I wondered for a moment if she’d hung up on me.

It didn’t matter. I was so excited about my deal that I felt instantly yanked from the funk that I’d been in all week. Ever since I’d screwed Rorrie I felt horrible for multiple reasons. Most serious of all was the guilt that had been sitting on my shoulders. I could barely face Honey and was fearful that the bad dreams would kick in again. Trying to handle it alone made me want to see Cameron for a one-on-one, but I feared an uncomfortable situation.

I called Honey and got her on the first ring. “Hey sweetie, what you up to?” I asked.

“Nothing, just surfing the Net, trying to find some info on vendors for my boutique.” She sounded really laid back, almost monotone. She’d been acting strange for the past few days. I didn’t know if she was acting on some intuition or if she was feeding off of my energy, which I knew had not been right since my encounter with Rorrie.

“Sounds good, but I want you to get dressed and be ready for dinner when I get there. I have some news for you and we’re going out to celebrate.”

“Oh really, tell me now.”

“No, it’s gonna wait. I want to tell you in person. I have one more stop to make and then I’ll be there to spend the evening and all night holding my queen.”

“Well you finally sound like my Khalil again, so it must be some great news. What do I need to wear?”

“You know you’re always beautiful, so it doesn’t matter.”

“I’ll be waiting on you,” she said and then she paused. Before she hung up to get prepared she said, “Khalil.”

“Yes.”

“I’ve missed you.”

I knew exactly what she’d meant. We’d gotten off track for just a minute, but we both were mature enough to know that things like that happened sometimes. I said what I felt and responded, “I’ve missed you more.”

I
t took me an hour to get in and out of the urologist’s office in Bowie. He’d run some tests and given me a quick checkup. I won’t deny having been freaked out after the conversation with Rorrie the other night. I had a flashback of her yelling
‘I haven’t been with anyone else.’
I was anxious to get the results of the fertility test. On one hand my sanity was on the line. If it turned out that I was sterile and that Honey was pregnant by someone else I don’t know what I would have done. On the other hand, if I was able to procreate, then I could possibly have two women with child.

At a little after seven
P.M
., I pulled off of Route 50 and into my community. It was always strange driving down the street that I now lived on. A mix of emotions ran through my mind. Sometimes I felt as though I didn’t belong, I was here only because of Honey’s bank account. I knew in my mind that if I’d married Rorrie, it might take us years to get here. Between her student loans and my career being at its starting point, who knew how long it would take for us to live like this. Now in the blink of an eye my life and my plans had changed.

As I hit the gate and pulled into the stone driveway I glanced up at the sky wondering what had caused God to rain down such
blessing on me. I said a quick prayer, asking for forgiveness for what I’d done to Rorrie and headed for the front door.

Hitting the steps, I had the strange feeling that I was being watched and when I turned around I caught the tail end of an automobile moving up the street. Could have been nothing, I reasoned and headed inside.

“Honey, where are you?” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

The house was growing dim as the sun was preparing to set. There wasn’t a single light on and no sign of Honey. I moved toward the steps and then up toward the bedroom. Still not a trace. I reached the bed and saw a note,

I looked down at the bed and saw a silk bathrobe and matching loungewear. I smiled as I played along. I got naked and changed into the silky clothing.

I headed down and out toward the backyard. She wasn’t in plain sight until I looked just down the hill and saw a blanket on the grass, surrounded by tiki torches. She was clad only in her lingerie. “Nice of you to join me,” she said as I approached. “Have a seat.”

I obeyed and took position right next to her. She got up and headed over to the gas grill and lifted it, bringing over a covered tray full of food that smelled so good my mouth began to water.

She set the tray down and then pulled the bottle out the ice
bucket and handed me a glass. “A toast to…” I didn’t respond and she repeated herself as she poured: “A toast to…”

I laughed when I realized that she was ready for me to share my news with her. “A toast to dreams coming true. A toast to me being offered a fantastic deal for my movie as well as three more and enough money to make me feel like I deserve a woman like you.”

She laughed and smiled. “Wow, that must be a lot of money,” she said jokingly. “No seriously, I am so proud of you baby. More than that, I am happy for you.”

I noticed that she didn’t sip from her glass. “You’re not drinking with me.”

We were eye to eye and when she spoke I was thrilled and frightened at the same time. I didn’t know what to think or make of it when she said the words “I can’t. I can’t drink with you. You see, I have some news for you as well. I’m pregnant.”

I
had been hoping with all of my heart that his therapist hadn’t recognized me, but deep down inside I knew that she did. It was a bold move but I was prepared to do whatever I needed to in order to protect what was mine. I loved Khalil and I was carrying his child now and nothing or no one was going to cause us any trouble.

I couldn’t stop laughing to myself at the look on his face when I told him. He looked as if he was going to pass out and when he couldn’t catch his breath we both realized that he’d enjoyed too much excitement for one day. It’s not every day your one-chance-in-a-million dream comes true and then you come home to find out you’re having a baby all within a few hours’ time.

A soak in the huge tub and a glass of cognac had calmed him. I’d bathed him and then had him sit on the edge of the tub as I’d given him the blow job of a lifetime. By the time I finished with him he was so relaxed he could barely move. I prayed that I would feel the same level of relaxation once I handled the business that I had at hand.

I
walked into Cameron’s office before she had taken her first patient. She was behind the counter, talking to her receptionist, when she looked up and saw me standing there. Her eyes squinted a bit as if she was trying to adjust her sight. “I’ll just need a minute,” I said.

She waved me in. “Hold Mrs. Lords if she arrives before I’m finished,” she barked to her receptionist.

We walked into her office and she didn’t elect to sit down. I took a seat without her offering one and crossed my legs. “I need to know where you and I stand.”

“You need to know if I’m going to mention to Khalil that you’re a call girl.”

“Formerly. I was a call girl formerly.”

“Well you were on duty a few nights ago.”

“I’m sure you know that I canceled the appointment and I told your husband the reason why.”

“My husband?”

“Oh, that wasn’t your husband?” A smile came across my face. I believed now that we both had something to hide.

“My husband and I are separated. He was just someone that I’ve been dating.”

“And you were comfortable enough to get down like that?”

“Are
you
judging
me
?”

“Not at all. It’s just a little strange.”

“Well isn’t this whole thing?”

“Well he mentioned to me that you were his wife, on the phone.”

“You and I know that people say things that aren’t true all the time. Now don’t we?”

“I just need to know if you’re planning to mention this, because if you are then I’d like to tell him first.”

“Hmmmm,” she said, nodding her head. “So he only deserves to know if someone else is threatening to tell him. That’s the only way that you believe he’s good enough for the truth?”

“It’s not about that. You’re a woman and don’t sit up here all high-sidity, acting as if you don’t have any secrets. Not after seeing you so willing to ménage with someone outside your marriage. And, baby, I’m sure that wasn’t your first trip to the freaky side.”

“Hold up…”

“You hold up. I’m pregnant by Khalil and I need to know if I need to have this talk with him, because I don’t want to raise a child without a father.”

I wasn’t sure where she got the nerve but what came out of her mouth was: “Are you sure it’s his child?”

I jumped up and pulled my hand back to slap her right across the mouth but when she flinched from fear, I caught myself. “I’m sorry.” I took a step back. “I’m sure it’s his child. I haven’t been with anyone other than him since the first time he and I slept together and I’ve always had safe sex.”

I looked at her and saw the look on her face and it dawned on me right then. “You have feelings for Khalil?” She didn’t respond. “Have you ever been involved with him?”

“No.” Her words were soft, she sounded defeated.

I moved toward her. “Please don’t lie. If you’re lying then I can’t trust you.”

“I don’t owe you anything. You don’t have to trust me…” Maybe it was the hormones, or perhaps just anger, but I swung for her face. She jumped back out of the way and I missed. “I’m calling the police,” she screamed.

“No, please don’t,” I begged. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me…” I began to cry. “I just love him so much. I’m so sorry. I’m so…sorry,” I whimpered as I covered my face with my hands. “I just love Khalil.”

“He loves you too,” she said. I looked up at her. Her face looked calmer. She handed me a Kleenex. “Let me ask you this. Are you sure you’re going to stop doing this?”

“I already have. I swear.”

“This might sound strange coming from me, but have you been checked out for…”

“Absolutely. Every three months, and I am completely clear and disease-free.”

“It’s just that I care for him and I want him to be happy and…” she paused. “Khalil’s been through a lot.”

“I know and I’m going to change all of that. Not only do I love him, I can take care of him in a lot of different ways.”

“Financially?” she said. “Khalil has a lot more needs than that.”

“Please don’t sit up here and tell me about my man.”

She sat down and reached into a drawer on her desk. “I won’t tell you about him.” She pulled out a folder and thumbed through the pages like a bank teller flipping through money. Then she stopped at one page and nodded her head. “I do however think you have a problem.”

“And what might that be?” Our stares were now locked.

“In a session some time back, Khalil confided a bit of information that right now tells me that this whole thing is about to get very interesting.”

“And what might that be?”

She closed the folder and put it away with a smirk on her face. “Khalil once told me that there was a chance he was sterile.”

“Well…” I rubbed my belly and added, “We know now that he’s definitely not sterile.”

“Well I guess that remains to be seen,” she said smugly. I was beginning to think that she was the one who needed counseling. She’d gone from professional to compassionate to hostile and wound up at condescending. I believed that in light of her feelings for my man, she didn’t know how to feel.

I resisted the urge to call her out of her name and stood up. “I’m leaving, but I just want to know what to expect.”

“Khalil has made it clear to me that he won’t be coming back. So as far as I go, expect nothing,” she said as I walked toward the door. Then, if my ears weren’t playing tricks on me, I believed she mumbled, “Expect everything.”

When I glanced back she wasn’t even looking up. I shook it off and headed out.

T
he Realtor who’d found my new house in Maryland had put me in touch with her sister-in-law in New York, who, along with her husband, owned commercial real estate all over the country. I was hoping that she’d have something perfect for me in Atlanta or Miami that I could use for my boutique. When she called back a few days after our initial conversation, it was easy for her to get me excited when she told me that she’d been able to find a great location for my store; the only catch was that it was in New York City. As if she cared, I posed the question to her. I actually asked her how I was going to have a baby, open a boutique in SoHo, and keep my man happy.

Her response was: “Sweetie, I couldn’t tell you that. All I can tell you is that this location has made two previous tenants a mint selling shoes and clothing. There’d be very little build-out for you as the place looks fabulous.”

I’d wanted to tell her then that I’d take it, but what I did promise to do was drive up in the morning to take a look at it.

I was meeting Khalil for dinner to talk about the whole thing before he left for the West Coast for a few days of meetings with his distributor. We agreed to have a meal at Clyde’s in Chinatown. I beat him there and when he walked in, my heart melted as usual because of his beauty. He moved toward me with pride in each step.

“You’re looking really dapper,” I said. He was wearing a Façonnable shirt that I’d bought for him, a tan blazer, and a pair of perfect-fitting jeans that had him looking like he’d jumped out the pages of
GQ
.

“Thanks, baby. You’re not looking too shabby yourself,” he shot back as he leaned in for a kiss.

We both seemed to play with our food while I discussed my news. Khalil’s face didn’t show approval so I asked him, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just thinking about the things you said.”

“I don’t have to…I mean…we won’t have to live in New York. I just think that I could make a lot of money there.”

“I know we haven’t discussed this yet but how does this work if you have a baby?”

“What do you mean
if
I have a baby? Do you not want to have a baby?”

He was silent for a minute and stared down at the table. “Honey, I need to tell you something.”

“Go ahead.”

“When I was molested, the woman who did it to me gave me a disease. I was young and didn’t know to seek treatment. By the time I did the doctor told me that there was a chance that I’d be unable to have children. That I could be sterile.”

I’d heard this from Cameron, but hearing it from my man seated across from me at the table with tears in his eyes almost caused me to break down. My heart was tearing in two as I leaned in and took his hand. “Listen, Khalil. I don’t care what the doctor told you then. If I can carry this child then you
will
be a father.” He pulled his hand away and I gathered quickly that he was doubting my words. In that I knew that he needed to hear what I had to say. “Khalil, look at me.” His teary eyes were now locked on mine. “I haven’t been with anyone else since we made love the first time. This is your child.”

As I spoke the words I thought about Miles Amory, my last client, and the broken condom. Then just as quickly I dismissed it, thinking that life couldn’t be that cruel. “Khalil, whatever your doctor told you back then was wrong. Your boys can swim,” I said and felt relief when he cracked a smile.

He took my hand again and said, “I’m happy.” Though his face showed the weight of the world, he seemed to be convinced that I was telling the truth.

We finished our dinner as I outlined a plan as to how it would work. We were going to be a power couple, like Russell and Kimora, Jigga and Beyoncé, Bill and Hillary, no less. By the time we paid the check and were heading out he was saying things like “As long as you know the baby has to come first.”

It warmed my heart as I felt it all coming together. He’d parked in the garage and I’d used the valet. “I’ll drive you to your car,” I insisted.

“Cool,” he said.

Khalil handed the ticket to the attendant and he headed off to get the car. As usual we caught the oohs and aahs of bystanders as the car pulled up. The black paint shining like a piece of art. It
was a showstopper. I handed the attendant a tip and started for the car when I heard a voice come from behind me. “So this is what you’re wasting my money on?”

I looked back and saw none other than Priest Alexander and two of his cronies standing behind me. I tried to ignore him and headed for the door but he began to follow me. It was then that Khalil realized that he was talking to me. “C’mon sweetie, let’s go.”

“Don’t rush off on my account, I’m sure your man knows all about your scheme.” He was close enough for me to smell liquor on his breath. I looked out the corner of my eye and saw Khalil headed around the car toward us. “Awww man, what you gonna do? You wanna fight me over this money-hungry whore?”

With that Khalil charged him and was about to swing when two of the valet attendants jumped between them. “Please, sir. Not in front of the restaurant.” Seemingly out of nowhere the whir of sirens shot out from the corner and a D.C. squad car approached.

Priest stepped back from my side of the car and as he moved back toward the sidewalk he said a quick “Nigga, you lucky.”

“Let’s go,” I said one more time. Without a doubt I’d have some explaining to do and as my blood boiled inside of my veins I shot death eyes in the drunken fool’s direction, which screamed out to him that I’d be returning the favor. We both climbed in and as I was about to pull off I got the chance to eyeball him one last time. The look on my face let Priest know that he’d just made a mistake.

A serious mistake.