All He Ever Dreamed (16 page)

“I know. Someday you’ll realize talking things out with somebody who cares about you can make things easier. Maybe.”

“I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here with you and relax.” He kissed her palm before pushing himself to his feet. “But I don’t want my brothers hitting bad weather because they were waiting for me.”

She stood and pulled him into a hug. “Call me if you want to talk later, okay? After you see your brothers again, I mean.”

He kissed her, and it was a long, slow, sweet kiss that made her tremble. “Thanks, Katie. I guess you’ll be stuck with me now, huh?”

She smiled, but after he’d let himself out, she sank onto a chair and let out a breath. She’d been so sure he’d come to tell her he was leaving Whitford she was still having trouble believing he wasn’t.

And even though she knew he was conflicted about the decision and probably angry to find himself still stuck in Whitford, she couldn’t help but be a little bit glad.

* * *

Sean was alone in the living room when Josh got home. The basement door had been ajar when he’d gone through the kitchen and he’d heard faint voices down there, so he’d assumed Andy and Rose had gone down there for something. And since he’d already noted that Ryan’s and Mitch’s vehicles were missing, he wasn’t surprised that Sean was the only one there.

“Just me, I guess,” Sean said when he saw Josh in the doorway. “Somebody just came out to ask for a lightbulb, so Andy and Rose went down to get it, but they knocked something over so they had to go back down. Said they’d be up in a few minutes.”

Josh nodded. Sounded like a normal Saturday night at the old home-sweet-home.

“You okay, kid?”

“Sure.” Josh shoved a hand through his hair and blew out a breath. “No, not really. What a total mind-fuck.”

“Mitch said to tell you he’s not responding to the offer until Monday. You can still change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

“Don’t make yourself into some kind of martyr for our sakes, Josh.”

“Screw you. I’m not playing the martyr here.” He sat in one of the chairs and rested his elbows on his knees. “It wasn’t all about you guys. Some of it, yeah, and Rosie. But it’s me, too. There’s a difference between wanting to get away from home and wanting home to go away forever.”

“Okay. As long as you’re not throwing yourself on the sword because of us.” Sean relaxed against the couch. “Ryan couldn’t wait. With the storm coming up from the south, he didn’t want to chance it. I’m going to hit the road myself pretty soon.”

“I feel like an asshole, making you drive here for nothing.”

“It wasn’t for nothing.” He was quiet for a moment, then cleared his throat. “I owe you an apology, Josh.”

“For what?”

“You know I had a really hard time growing up here. I wanted a regular house that didn’t have strangers in it all the time.”

“Katie had a hard time with it, too,” Josh said, smiling at the memory of New Year’s Eve.

“When I got out of the army, I told you I wanted to visit Uncle Leo and Aunt Mary in New Hampshire before I came home.”

“Nothing wrong with that. You hadn’t seen them in a long time.”

“I did want to see them, but I also didn’t want to come back to Whitford. I was afraid I’d end up stuck here helping you and I didn’t want to do that. I should have come anyway, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”

Josh winced, though he hoped it didn’t show too much. Having one of his brothers around to shoulder some of the responsibility might have made a big difference in his attitude. Then again, two of them having shitty attitudes because neither of them wanted to be there wouldn’t have done anything but drive away the rest of their customers.

“You had to do what was right for you,” Josh told his brother. “And if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have met Emma and we wouldn’t be waiting for little Sprout. I’m going to be that kid’s favorite uncle, just so you know.”

The stress lines smoothed from Sean’s face as he smiled. “I can’t imagine not having Emma.”

“I’m happy for you. One hundred percent.”

“Thanks. So tell me about you and Katie. Is it serious?”

It wasn’t
not
serious, but he still wasn’t sure how to answer that. “We’ve been having fun, mostly. That probably sounds messed up, but we haven’t exactly had a State of the Relationship talk.”

“Hey, you’re talking to a guy who pretended to be a total stranger’s fiancé and ended up marrying her. I know ‘messed up,’ and two friends hooking up doesn’t qualify.”

“Even though it’s Katie?”

Sean shrugged. “Maybe if it was a different one of us, but you and Katie have always been a pair. All you guys did was take it up a level.”

What level that was, exactly, remained to be seen. He hadn’t spent too much time analyzing what was going on between him and Katie, but if he was going to be stuck in Whitford for the rest of his life, he’d have to think about it pretty soon.

Stuck
in
Whitford
for
the
rest
of
his
life
. He felt the familiar tightness in his chest and rubbed at the spot. At least this time he’d had some kind of choice, even it had been a crappy case of all or nothing.

“I hope you know Mitch will be crunching numbers as the year goes on, especially if you get the four-wheeler trail through here in the summer. As soon as we can, we’ll see about hiring a manager.”

Josh nodded, just as he had when Katie had brought up the possibility, but he didn’t put too much faith in that plan. A manager whose last name wasn’t Kowalski would expect a salary and benefits and all that good stuff. Business was increasing, but it would be a long time before the lodge could bear that kind of expense.

“I should probably get going,” Sean said after he glanced at the clock. “It’s a long drive.”

They both got up and Sean went to the basement door. “Hey, Rosie, I’m leaving!”

Josh stood off to the side while Sean hugged Rose and shook Andy’s hand. Now that the day was almost behind him, he just wanted to stretch out on the couch and close his eyes.

“I’m going to head out, too,” Andy said. “I told Drew I’d stop by tonight and hang out for a while.”

After the flurry of goodbyes, Josh closed the door and rested his forehead against the cold windowpane.

“Are you okay?”

Obviously that was the question of the hour. He turned to face Rosie, not bothering to force a smile. She’d see right through it, anyway. “I will be. It’s not like everything took a turn for the worse. It’s just more of the same now.”

“I’m still sorry it didn’t work out for you. I know it had to be a hard decision.”

“I know it was the right one,” he said, and the smile he gave her when she arched a doubtful eyebrow was genuine. “It really was and, yes, for
me
. I can’t let her go to strangers. Besides, you and I make a good team, right?”

She touched his face, nodding, and he really hoped she wouldn’t cry. “Yes, we do.”

“I’m going to sit down for a few minutes and relax. Is everybody in now?”

“Bob Watkins and his cousin are still out, but he told me they wouldn’t be back until nine or ten based on the trails they wanted to take. But everybody else is in.”

So he’d be up until at least nine or ten, but probably later. “Okay, thanks.”

He went into the living room, grabbing the TV remote on his way to the couch. But when he sat down, he didn’t hit the power button. He could hear Rosie moving around in the kitchen and the low murmurs of a television coming from a guest room.

Closing his eyes, he let the familiar sounds of the Northern Star wash over him. It was a good thing he was used to it, because he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“Excuse me?”

He opened his eyes and smiled at the woman who was staying in room three with her husband and two kids. Mrs. Grant—that was her name. “What can I do for you, Mrs. Grant?”

“I’m so sorry, but my youngest dumped his juice on the rug. It’s more than we can blot up with tissues and toilet paper.”

“It’s not a problem.” He stood up, still smiling. “I’ll soak up what I can tonight and I’ll steam it tomorrow.”

Back to work, he told himself. He might not have chosen this life for himself, but at least he was good at it.

Chapter Sixteen

One of the nice things about living in what passed for “downtown” Whitford was that everything was within walking distance. So, when the snow kept everybody from wanting haircuts or library books, Katie and Hailey were free to lock up and play hooky.

Katie was ready when Hailey called. She’d already swept and mopped and sanitized everything, since it was obvious this nor’easter was keeping everybody inside. Now she just needed an excuse to hang the Closed sign and she’d be done for the day.

Her cell phone finally rang. “I thought you’d never call.”

Hailey snorted. “If I wasn’t responsible for salting the walkways, I’d have been gone already. I called Paige and there’s no sense in going to the diner. Because Gavin rented her trailer, he offered to open the place, but it’s mostly just coffee and he’ll make sandwiches for the road crews or any random customers. But she won’t be there.”

“Well, I have food and drink and the library doesn’t.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

She’d just hit End when the phone rang again. Without looking, she answered and said, “What did you forget?”

“Is this one of those boyfriend tests?” Josh asked.

She laughed, though she was secretly thrilled to hear the word
boyfriend
come out of his mouth. It was the first time he’d used it. “I thought you were Hailey.”

“Sorry, just me. How’s business?”

“Funny. Business is so good I’m closing up shop. Hailey’s coming over and we’re going to eat junk food and watch TV for the rest of the day.”

“She’s walking, right? It keeps swapping between snow and sleet, so the roads might be slick.”

“Yeah, she’s walking. How are things with you?”

“I’m tired of moving snow, I can tell you that. But at least it’s not the weekend, so I don’t have to deal with people canceling at the last minute. I usually reschedule them instead of refunding their deposit—which we don’t have to do, but I do when it’s Mother Nature’s fault—but we’re pretty booked. Not easy to move people around.”

She’d been wondering more about his state of mind than his reservation book, but it sounded like he was in a good mood, so she didn’t push it. He’d called her yesterday morning and told her everything was okay with his brothers, but hadn’t said much about how
he
felt. If not for the damn storm, she could have driven over and seen for herself, but the storm had been a little more severe than they’d forecast.

“It’s supposed to wrap up by midday tomorrow,” Josh said. “It’s my turn to do the groomer run and I was thinking I’d go out tomorrow night so I can catch up on sleep Wednesday and Thursday nights. You want to go?”

“Sure.” She’d gone out with him many times in the past, but it had been a while and she hadn’t done it at all this year. Spending six or seven hours overnight doing eight miles per hour down the trail was best done with company.

“How about if I swing by about five? We can go to the diner, grab some dinner and get Ava to fill the thermos, and then we’ll head to the clubhouse.”

“I’ll be ready.”

“I was hoping to get over to see you tonight, but it’s a mess out there. And Andy went out in the tow truck with Butch to pull morons out of ditches, so it’s just your mom.”

“I’d rather you stay home where you’re safe,” she said, and almost laughed at herself. It was a very
girlfriend
thing to say. “I’ll see you tomorrow, anyway.”

“Five o’clock. Good night, Katie.”

“Good night.”

She was still smiling when Hailey knocked on the window. After turning the sign around, Katie locked up and they went up to her apartment together. After shaking the snow out of their hair, they hung up their coats and put their boots on the mat she kept by the door.

“Just as I was leaving,” Hailey said, “the phone rang.”

“And you were dumb enough to answer it.”

“Yeah. Can you believe this woman threw a fit when I told her I was closing? She said she was going to call the town and file a complaint.”

Katie shook her head. “What did you do?”

“I gave her their number.” She laughed and started rummaging through the cabinets. “Doesn’t your mom send you home care packages?”

“I’m not away at college. I don’t think grown-ups get care packages.”

“Well, that sucks.” She pulled out a package of store-bought cookies. “These will do. So tell me what’s going on?”

“With what?”

“Paige told me about the offer on the lodge. And that Josh decided not to sell. How’s he doing?”

Katie shrugged, snagging a cookie out of the package. “He seems okay with it, actually. He called me right after you did and he was in a good mood, except for having to clean up all this snow.”

“So do you think he’ll be ready to commit to you now?”

“Whoa.” Katie frowned, holding up one hand. “What do you mean by
commit
?”

“If he’s going to stay in Whitford, he should just marry you and get it over with.”

“You’re so romantic, Hailey. One, I don’t want to be a consolation prize. And, two, there’s no talk of marriage. He just called himself my boyfriend for the first time about ten minutes ago.”

“You know, you’re not as salacious as you used to be.”

Katie laughed. “He wants me to go out in the groomer with him tomorrow night. Is that salacious enough?”

“Riding in the groomer?” She grimaced. “That’s so boring. I did that once with a guy I was trying to impress about ten years ago. The fact he thought it was the greatest date ever was the end of that relationship before it even really started.”

“Josh did mention once he had a little fantasy about me and him in the groomer.”

Hailey made a
hmm
sound. “That could be salacious. If it is, you’ll tell me, right?”

“Maybe.”

“Do you love Josh?”

Katie frowned, snagging another cookie. “Of course I do.”

“No, I mean do you
love
him, love him?”

“I’ve loved him like that for years, Hailey. You know that. And now that we’re together, yeah. It’s been harder in some ways, because now I’m not just doing it from afar. It’s messy and there’s the lodge thing and everything, but it’s worth it.”

“Even if he breaks your heart? Because I hate to say it, but refusing that offer wasn’t like some kind of fairy dust that cured his need to roam.”

“I should have sent you to voice mail. This is
not
fun snow-day talk.” When Hailey only waited, still giving her the look that said she was only looking out for Katie’s emotional welfare, she sighed. “Yes, it’s worth it even if he breaks my heart. Which is why I’m not overthinking it to death like you apparently are. I’m taking it day by day and if the bridge crashes and burns in front of me, I’ll cross that river when I come to it.”

Hailey tilted her head, her eyebrows almost meeting over her nose. “I think you totally screwed that up.”

“It’s the sugar rush. Now shut up and turn the TV on. See if you can find something salacious for us to watch.”

* * *

By mid-Tuesday morning, the snow had stopped falling and Josh got to work removing it all from the driveway and parking areas for the third—and hopefully last—time this storm. With Andy using the snowblower to clear the walkways, they were done by a little after noon, which was even earlier than he’d predicted.

Luckily he was better at predictions than the weatherman, who’d said four to six, so he was going to have plenty of time to jump in the shower before he picked up Katie. Spending seven hours in a groomer with a guy who smelled like sweat and two-stroke fumes probably didn’t put a woman in a loving kind of mood. He might even grab a quick power nap, since he wouldn’t be sleeping tonight.

He was whistling when he walked into the kitchen and he stopped to sniff the warm air. “Are those my special apple pies?”

“Of course.” Rose pointed to where they were cooling on the rack. She made little individual pies, pinched off at both ends, like they did at fast-food restaurants. She’d wrap them in foil he could peel back as he ate while driving. “When’s the last time you groomed the trails without my apple pies?”

“You’re too good to me, Rosie.” He kissed her cheek, but when he reached for a pie, she slapped his hand. “Still too hot. Go take a shower.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Do you want me to heat up some beef stew before you go?”

He shook his head. “I’m picking Katie up and we’re going to grab something at the diner before we head to the clubhouse.”

“You make sure you share those pies with her.”

He grinned at her over his shoulder as he left the kitchen. “Maybe, if she’s nice to me.”

It was already quarter after five when he pulled up outside the barbershop and beeped his horn. He wouldn’t have been late, but halfway there when he’d realized he was so intent on seeing Katie after several days without her, he’d forgotten the pies. He had to turn around and go back for them.

He smiled when she stepped out onto the sidewalk, juggling stuff while making sure the door locked behind her. She’d remembered to dress in layers. It could be hard to regulate the heat in the groomer, because keeping the windshield clear sometimes meant overheating the cab. But other times it could get chilly and if, heaven forbid, there was a problem, she also had be prepared to stand out in the cold for hours at a time. The groomer had died on him a few years back out in the middle of freaking nowhere in a cell dead zone and he’d worked on that sucker for five hours before a passing sledder finally stopped, then rode for help.

She shoved her snowmobiling gear and her heavy sweatshirt in the backseat of the truck, along with her hat and gloves, then climbed into the passenger seat. Before she even got the door closed, he leaned over to kiss her.

“I missed you,” he said, and her face got that soft, gooey feminine look that probably should have scared him, but didn’t.

“Missed you, too. I didn’t think it was ever going to stop snowing.”

The diner parking lot was more full than he’d expected. Probably a bunch of people suffering from cabin fever after the storm had felt the need to get out. In Whitford, after business hours, there weren’t that many places to get out
to
.

“They’re busy for a Tuesday night,” Katie said as he backed the truck into an open spot. “Either people were sick of being inside or Gavin’s cooked up one hell of a special.”

It wasn’t the special. They overheard grumbling before they even got to an open table, and Ava looked cranky as hell when she slammed two coffee cups on their table. “The special’s some weird, tropical chicken thing. It has coconut, Josh, so don’t order it. Katie, you might like it, but fair warning—it comes served over rice, not with mashed potatoes. I swear to God, if a man in these parts doesn’t get mashed potatoes with his flippin’ supper, you’d think he was being starved half to death! Now…Josh, what do you want to eat?”

He gave her the charming Kowalski smile that usually worked pretty well on highly annoyed women. “I’ll have whatever you think I should have, Ava. And I’ll like it.”

She laughed and rested her hand on his shoulder. “I’ve always liked you boys.”

“And, if it’s not too much trouble, if you could brew a pot of coffee for the thermos, I’d appreciate it.”

“Grooming tonight, huh?” When he nodded, she tapped her pen on the order pad. “I guess you’ll be wanting a double dose of the meat loaf, then?”

“That sounds perfect. Mashed and extra gravy, and you can keep whatever the veggie is.”

“Katie, what’ll you have?”

“I’ll have a single serving of the same, please.”

Ava nodded and started to walk away, but then she leaned down to squeeze Josh’s shoulders. “I’m awful glad you’re not leaving us, Josh.”

“I hope people find somebody else to talk about soon,” he said when Ava was out of earshot. “I hate being the center of attention.”

“I’m glad you’re staying, too, you know,” Katie said quietly. “I mean, if you’d sold the lodge, I would have been happy for
you
, but not so much for me.”

“It’s a moot point now, anyway. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Sometimes it seems like you’re okay with that and sometimes it doesn’t.”

He didn’t see much sense in lying to Katie. “Because sometimes I am and sometimes I’m not. But mostly I am. Hey, I get to hang out with you, right?”

“Is that enough for you?”

The question hung between them, the conversation suddenly a lot more serious than he liked to have. Especially in the middle of the Trailside Diner. “For now.”

He saw a quick flash of uncertainty cross her expression, but then she smiled and seemed to shrug it off. “You wouldn’t know what to do without me, Kowalski.”

“I know I’d get bored as hell in the groomer tonight.”

She laughed and, just like that, the tension was broken. “Maybe, if you’re nice to me, I’ll sing for you.”

“Oh, please no,” he groaned. Singing was not one of Katie’s strengths. “Rosie made her special apple pies. You want me to share don’t you?”

The normal balance of their relationship restored, they talked about the usual stuff while they ate meat loaf and drank coffee. After she filled the thermos for him, Ava brought the check and Josh pulled enough cash out of his wallet to cover it.

“What are you doing?” Katie asked, holding a twenty in one hand.

“I got it.”

“We’ve always gone Dutch.”

“That was before.” He shrugged and put out his hand to help her up. “I guess you must officially be my girlfriend now.”

* * *

Once they arrived at the snowmobile club’s clubhouse and Josh opened the massive overhead door, Katie made trips back and forth between his truck and the groomer, transferring their stuff to the cab.

Josh grabbed a clipboard that hung on a nail by the door and started his inspection, which covered everything from the windshield wipers to the huge tracks that moved the thing. After she locked his truck, she put his keys in the inside pocket of her coat and zipped it up. Her dad had gone riding one year and lost his truck keys out on the trail. As far as she knew, they’d never been found, and not for a lack of looking.

Once Josh had pulled the groomer out and she’d helped him hook it to the two-ton drag, she climbed into the cab, which had as many controls and buttons as a plane cockpit, while he locked up the clubhouse. Finally they started churning their way down the trail. While she knew Josh had been through a lot of training to drive the thing, the concept was pretty simple. The blades on the groomer swept snow onto the trail and the drag packed it down. And it all happened at a crawl.