Authors: Sarah Daltry
Tags: #romance, #contemporary women, #sarah daltry, #series, #teen and young adult, #jack and lily, #coming of age, #marriage, #wedding, #college, #flowering, #new adult, #growing up, #contemporary romance
“Dusting a lamp?” I ask.
“I mean, they’re mundane. Pointless. But that’s just it. If tomorrow you weren’t part of my life, I would resent that lamp. I’d see the dust and even if I dusted it, even if I met someone else and she dusted it, it would always be not as good as how you did it. Every time I looked at a book, I would wonder what you thought of it, or if it was one of the ones you would like so much that you held it so close to your face that I wondered if you were trying to inhale the words rather than read them. Or maybe it was one of the ones that you hated and rolled your eyes at while you turned the page, blowing out a sigh and moving your hair slightly because you didn’t want to keep going, but you are incapable of giving up.
“I love you, because you have made my life and my world a place where people exist who don’t hurt each other for the sake of doing it. You’ve introduced me to your family, who are weird and awkward and your father seems more uncomfortable with me every single time I see him and soon, he will only converse with me in terms of the car, but with you, I’m whole, Lily. I go to work and all day, hanging over every thought and action, is that I have someone to go home to, that if something happens, or even if
happens, that night, I’ll tell you all about it.”
He looks at me, finally, since he kept his eyes averted while he spoke, and he silences when he sees that I’m crying. I shake my head. “No, it’s good tears.
good tears. Jack, all of those things, you’re that for me, too. You make me feel like the princess you pretend I am, but I don’t even need to try. There is nothing easier in the world than loving you.”
espite her insistence that she was too tired to watch the movie, Lily had no problem focusing on it, but now she’s sobbing next to me. What the hell was I thinking? I thought it was a love story and she’s crying like it’s ruined her life. Stupid movies.
“I want that song for our wedding,” she says, clutching my hand.
“Which one? The Ewan McGregor one? Their secret song?”
“Yeah. Please? I feel like that, Jack. Every word – it was about us. I feel all of that.” She pauses and then takes a deep breath, followed by another massive, heaving sob. “Oh my God, it was so sad.”
Her crying continues, which is messy, because her hands are covered in butter from the popcorn and I have to keep stopping her from rubbing her damn eyes. “Will you stop?” I ask, taking her hands and leading her to the sink. I wash her hands while she bawls her eyes out over Nicole Kidman.
“She’s not dead. She’s alive and well in Australia or wherever, doing whatever it is she does. Calm down, princess.”
“You’re such an asshole,” she says, hitting me, but her eyes aren’t sad anymore. She’s suddenly wild and hungry and she grabs me by my shirt, taking my clothes off as we go, and she leads me upstairs into the bedroom. Throwing me back on to the bed, she undresses and straddles me.
“Hi. So, I was thinking... I love you, but we’ve been so focused on the wedding and life and all that. But life’s too short. I think we need to stop thinking about all of it and you need to fuck me really hard like you used to.”
“I’m not complaining, princess, but we’ve spent most of the past three nights in bed,” I remind her.
She begins to stroke me, which is awesome, and I try to focus on her words, because it’s taking all my energy not to flip her over and be rough with her, in all the right ways.
“Yeah, but you were sweet all weekend,” she says. “Don’t be sweet, Jack. Fuck me. I want you to fuck me, like you did the first night we were together.”
“Eh, that was so long ago,” I tease. “And that girl was so uptight. She needed to get a little wild. She needed it like that.”
She clutches me in her hand and looks down at me as if she wants to tear me apart. “
need it like that. I need you. I need to stop worrying about tulle or whatever my mom rambles about and just be overtaken by you, Jack. I don’t want to think about APA format or critical analysis. I just want to be wild like we used to.”
I sigh. “It
pretty wild that night. I had no idea that sweet, innocent girl would be everything she was.”
“I’m jealous. Do you still fantasize about that girl?” she asks.
“Every damn day,” I tell her. “She’s fucking amazing in the sack, you know.”
“Is she?” She leans down and wraps her mouth around me.
“Christ,” I manage, somehow forming words and thoughts as she slides up and down on my cock, her tongue doing things I can’t even fathom. “Oh, Lily, you have no idea. I’ve known a lot of girls and had my fair share of wild nights, but that girl... That one night in an alley and the weekend that followed? That girl is incredible.”
“Mmm, sounds it,” she says, her lips brushing the tip of my cock as she looks up at me. It’s so sexy and sweet and hot and innocent and wrong and I start counting, but I can’t remember five. I just want to come, to spend all night inside of her.
“What do you like so much about her?” she asks, licking along the length of me and it’s all gone. I can’t play games. I want to fuck Lily just like she asked. I want to stop talking, but then she looks at me again. Her eyes are glowing and this whole fantasy and act is doing something to her that we’ve both managed to keep at bay for some time now. In this moment, gone is the responsible and mature woman I live with, with bills and grocery lists and schoolwork and wedding plans. The girl with her mouth around me is the hungry girl she was after I taught her things about her body that no one else ever had. I concentrate and I play right into her desires.
“I love how innocent she was,” I tell her, while she keeps teasing me. “Until I got her alone, of course. I thought she was so sweet and shy and nervous and she always acted like she wasn’t interested, but it didn’t take much to get her going at all. And then, oh, fuck. Lily, you should have seen the look on her face when I tied her up and gagged her.”
She stands up and grins. “I’d love to see it,” she says, heading to the closet. I don’t know what she’s doing, and I’m in agony waiting for her mouth or her pussy or anything of her body, but when she comes back, she is carrying a box that we haven’t looked at since we moved in together. And I let out some kind of noise that just makes her laugh, knowing she has me where she wants me.
All those ridiculous things we did in the dorm sort of became secondary to my healing and to growing up, but when she takes them out now and hands them to me, it’s with a renewed sense of sensuality. It was one thing to be like this with Lily when we’d just met, when she was just a challenge and some kind of physical distraction, but to be given this kind of control over Lily tonight... it’s fucking intense.
I get her tied up and gagged, but I don’t want to enter her yet. I mean, I desperately want to enter her, but I don’t want it to be over. I want to freeze time and have tonight play on an endless loop. I don’t want to do anything ever again but merge that innocent girl I fucked against a wall in an alley by a bar with the beautiful and perfect princess I am going to marry. I love her juxtaposition and I want to explore it in so many ways.
“Are you wet, Lily?” I ask, reaching down to check. She nods vigorously and she’s not lying. I open her up slightly and slip myself in just enough to feel her heat. She strains against the restraints and I smile at her, watching her eyes as they blaze with all the thoughts of what I can do to her and how willing she is to let me.
“Are you ready?” Again, she nods and I slide in a little further. It’s killing me to tease her, because I don’t want to wait to fit myself inside her fully, to push as hard as I can and let her envelop me, but I want to give her an orgasm that will destroy her tonight. I want to wrap up all my love for her and all my desire for her with all my anger and hate in the world and combine them into an annihilation that will leave us both breathless.
She tightens herself and I slide out, slipping in again just a bit, teasing her repeatedly until she uses her knees against my sides to hold me within her. I push all the way in, but I don’t move and I gasp as I feel every inch of her body. She clutches me between her thighs and then, I feel her start to come, shaking under me and her body losing its grip and, as her eyes close and the pleasure washes over her, I give in and fuck her just like she wanted.
y mother’s neatly printed checklists are a crumpled mess after last night’s antics. Jack and I moved downstairs to the living room after a while, for a change of scenery and just because we could, and now I’m functioning on less than three hours of sleep, my body has been put through quite the rigorous routine, I can’t find the DJ information, and we both need to shower.
“You’re going to ruin all my mother’s carefully designed plans,” I tease him while he crawls around on his hands and knees looking for the form.
“Is it wrong that I desperately want to fuck you again?” he asks.
“No, but we don’t have time. These last couple days were great, but we have the DJ and then I have homework and tomorrow, I have to focus on school and you need to think about work, and we need to go back to living. This little break was a relief, though.”
He crawls over to where I’m sitting and flips me over, getting on top of me and pulling my panties off. I really should have gotten fully dressed, like he did, but I didn’t and now I pay the price. “Just one more time then. A final farewell to one hell of a weekend,” he demands.
I want to protest, but he doesn’t give me a chance, and let’s be honest – I only want to protest out of a sense of responsibility. I can’t believe what he’s awoken in me over the last few days. We were on some kind of stagnant hiatus, where it was good, but also routine. Last night, he reminded me of just how much pleasure I take in this.
Jack lifts my legs, bending them all the way back, and he plunges into me, hard and rough and fast like he used to be when we started. He grins and bites my lower lip, tugging on it, and I already feel myself building to something. There are only so many orgasms a girl can have, I swear, but he seems yet to have found that limit for me. I lose my ability to argue as he thrusts harder. I don’t know how to say no to Jack.
“You’re such a slut,” he teases.
“Only for you, Jack. God, only for you, but please, faster,” I beg.
It’s quick, but it’s intense and I’m drained after I come. Somehow, I need to gather the energy to find a form and get showered and dressed and meet with the DJ, but I’m exhausted and Jack doesn’t move from between my legs, still resting inside of me.
“We need to go,” he says with regret. “Want to shower together?”
I grab his ass, pushing him back inside of me all the way again, holding on to him and kissing him deeply. “Yes. I want to shower with you and I want you to keep fucking me and I want to come for you twenty more times, but we can’t. Just give me a minute, though.”
I let the feelings still reverberating inside of myself fade out and then I release him so he can shower. As soon as I hear the water start, I take a deep breath and try to get myself together, focusing again on the form.
It’s sometimes frustrating that we’re not in college anymore. Well, I mean, I am technically, but I’m not like most of my friends at this point. They’re all still staying in the dorms and eating in the cafeteria and figuring out their lives, and I’ve found mine. I’m barely into my twenties, and I haven’t even graduated and I have no plan for a career yet, but my life is already set. This – my apartment and wedding and relationship – this is permanent. Kristen asked if I had any doubts, if I worried that we were still young, but I knew that first weekend with Jack. I have always known, even while he has been worried.
Still, I sometimes wish we were young again. Although Jack was never carefree, there was nothing odd back then about spending three days in bed together and having wild sex. Now, it feels irresponsible, even if it’s fun, and I hate that. I hate that we have to schedule time to get crazy.
“Come on, princess,” he says, coming back in, now that he’s showered and dressed. “Did you find the form?”
I shake my head. I spent the fifteen minutes it took him to shower lying on the floor, thinking. “Can you look?”
He nods and smacks my naked ass as I stand up. I gather my clothes and head to the bathroom, glancing back at him, digging under the couch and ruffling through papers to find the DJ info.
Jack has always called me princess, and I know it wasn’t meant to be kind at first. We weren’t supposed to work. We were supposed to be some kind of test, but it has always made sense to me. When we were choosing a place to get married, he stumbled upon Hammond Castle and he insisted it had to be there, because he wanted his “princess” to have a fairy tale wedding. The thing is, I don’t need a fairy tale. Who needs Prince Charming when you have what I have with Jack? A real love story. A friend. A companion. Someone who’s there in the middle of the night when I’m sick and someone who will hold my hand when I’m hurting and someone who smiles just because I exist.
edding plans have consumed my life for almost two years, but even when they have been irritating or tedious, they’ve been a distraction. I want something beautiful for Lily, and although the process is a lot more complicated than I had imagined, at no point has it been anything but a chore at its worst. Sometimes, it’s even fun – at least until the forms come out. Meeting the DJ should have been fun. We were going to pick music. What’s more fun than music?
Lily completed the worksheet, which we found somehow shoved in between the cushions on the couch, during our ride to the appointment. We talked about our song; she had already decided it would be “Come What May,” after we’d watched
. I didn’t even notice her deliberate pause as she continued filling it out. Not until later, when it was something that probably should have come up before and something I definitely should have been prepared for.
Now, I’m sitting in the damn public restroom at the McDonald’s next door to the DJ’s office building, wanting to break a hole in the wall. I just walked out on my fiancée during a music discussion, because I’m too fucking stupid to pay attention. Worse, I should not have let it bother me like it did. I could have cushioned it, but I was tired and I was barely listening as he and Lily talked about things like processional music, so I didn’t hear her talking about the song choices for her dance with her father. All of the sudden, I went from looking out the window at the rain darkening the street to feeling caged.
Did you and your mother pick a song?
It was an innocent question. He didn’t know. Neither Lily nor I thought to mention it. I mean, there is no spot in the wedding planner to detail your mom’s murder, is there?