Read Anna von Wessen Online

Authors: Mae Ronan

Anna von Wessen (29 page)

BOOK: Anna von Wessen
8.43Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Eventful as his evening has thus far proved to be, Anna was rather surprised when Dahro came to her, and requested that the first dance be his. Being somewhat wary of all the other Endai who were present, and being also partial to Dahro’s particular brand of friendliness and jollity (though of course she would never have told him so), Anna was quick to accept him. She took up a waltz with the Endalin Lieutenant in the midst of the gathering pairs.

They were silent for a little, merely looking round at the surrounding waltzers, and listening inattentively to the music which swelled from an old phonograph.

“I never much favoured Beethoven,” Dahro remarked, “save for perhaps the Moonlight Sonata. I prefer Chopin, really. My wife and I were wed to the Nocturne Opus Nine, Number Two.”

“Is that so?”

“It is. But tell me – which do you prefer?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Anna replied absently, while looking with a measure of subtlety which was perhaps not so great as she imagined, across the floor to the place where Vaya danced with Balkyr.

“You don’t know!” Dahro exclaimed good-naturedly. “And I had pegged you as such a sophisticated young woman!”

Anna looked for a moment into his face, and smiled. “Young woman!” she repeated. “I rather think, my friend, that you are younger than I.”

“Do you think so? Well, they tell me that it is in bad taste to ask the age of a lady – but considering the peculiar circumstances at hand, I shall risk it.”

“Does that mean you are asking my age?”

“If you are not offended by my asking!”

“Certainly not,” said Anna, with her eyes wandering once again in their previous direction. “I have lived so far, if that is what you want to call it, for six-and-seventy years.”

“Is that not what
you
would call it?” Dahro inquired, with one eyebrow raised curiously.

“I suppose I wouldn’t.”

“Then what would you have?”

“Purgatory,” Anna murmured. Her gaze was locked upon the side of Vaya’s smiling face. But it was not smiling at her; and that made her irritable. “Seventy-six years of purgatory.”

“Well,” Dahro began kindly, as he patted Anna’s bare shoulder in a very father-like fashion, “to say that one is in purgatory implies that one is heading somewhere; that one is caught in between one place and another.” He peered inquisitively into Anna’s face. “It matters not, Anna von Wessen, where you have been – and where you are now is but a transitory, fleeting experience. What matters is where you are going. Do you know where that is?”

He was looking at her very seriously; and his tone could not have been more pointed. Anna narrowed her eyes at him.

“Oh, goodness gracious!” he said. “That was terribly rude of me, I’m afraid. I do beg your pardon, dear girl.”

“Then it is granted you.”

“Thank you!”

She hesitated a moment; but then, almost in spite of her better judgment, she asked: “What is it that you meant just a moment ago?”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand you.”

“You asked me – in what seemed no manner of jest – where I thought I was going?”

“I did ask you that.”

“What did you mean?”

He laughed, and said, “Why, I would have thought it was a straight-forward question enough!”

“In a way,” Anna responded haltingly, “I suppose it is. But then – it is also a very confusing one.”

“How so?”

“When you ask where I am going – when precisely do you mean?”

“When do I mean! Well, when is it that you think I mean?”

“Obtaining a clear answer from you is rather a complicated method of decoction,” said Anna, while watching for a moment the movements of Ceir and Valo, who were dancing nearby. Valo was staring blankly at the wall, as if he wished he might take up one of the torch brackets and skewer himself with it; while Ceir was holding herself as much apart from him as she was able, not from any apparent abhorrence of the fact that she danced presently with a Lumarian, but rather on account of what seemed her own acute sense that he was a black and evil being. With this sentiment Anna could sympathise; but while she was looking into the Endalin woman’s face, the latter turned towards her suddenly, and cast her a darkish expression. She looked repeatedly from Anna to Dahro, clearly wondering very earnestly what is was they were speaking about. She looked sharpest at her husband, seemingly doubtful of the wisdom of whatever thoughts he was imparting to the adopted daughter of King Ephram. Anna could hear the intense volume of her thoughts; and none were much flattering of herself. Made incredibly uncomfortable by them, and by the scrutiny of Ceir’s gaze, Anna looked quickly away – and felt, to her horror, the traces of a flush spring up into her white cheeks. She fought it down quickly; but that did not remedy the fact that it had come in the first place.

Dahro did not fail to notice it; but he did fail very politely to comment upon it. With a significant amount of terror, Anna realised suddenly, and for no apparent reason whatever, that he had suspected whatever it was he thought now, for rather a long time. Exactly what he thought she could not say for certain, strangely adept as he was (just as he had been during their last meeting) at turning the innermost corners of his mind from her gaze; but she had a strong sense that it was something much nearer the truth than she would have liked. And how did he know? How was it possible? Of course she could not guess. Yet he said nothing about it.

“Your bluntness is excusable,” he said simply, with an affable and knowing glance cast back at his mate. “I began a very specific conversation with you, and failed to
follow through with my point. Doubtless I would be just as aggravated in an identical situation. So I will explain myself to you.”

“I would be much obliged.”

“Ah! And how did I know you would answer so nicely and correctly?”

Anna waited patiently for him to continue.

“I rather suspect,” he said, “that we are expected to change partners now – but there I go again! It’s no matter, no matter. We shall be the rebels of the ball! Now where was I?”

“Quite nowhere.”

“Ah! Of course that’s true. But you asked me, I think, to revise the question I put to you. I ask you whether you know where you are going. When I say this, I do not mean where you shall go, or where you shall be anywhere in this particular life. And yes, I say life! For, although you seem to doubt whether you actually live, I assure you very confidently that you do – just as everything else lives, which moves and breathes beneath the sun.”

“Which breathes!” Anna chimed sourly. “I suppose, then, that I do not meet your conditions.”

“Don’t you?”

Anna looked at him, for the first time, very hard. She lowered her voice to a whisper, and said: “I know not what it is, Dahro, that
you
think you know – but I advise you to be especially careful with your comments. They are liable to get you into trouble.”

“Hmmm,” he said thoughtfully. “Perhaps you’re right. But nonetheless! I fear you very little, Anna von Wessen – for I think I know much more about you, than even you know about yourself! Yes, I do think so. So I ask you: where will you go when you die?”

“When I die!”

“When you die.”

“Perhaps I shall never die.”

“Perhaps, strictly speaking, you shan’t. But you know that the world will end someday?”

She smirked. “The sun will burst, you mean, as all the scientists say. We will be dissolved in fire, you think?”

“I think some will be,” he answered levelly. “But not in the way you describe.”

“Share your theory with me, then.”

“My theory! My
belief,
if you would have it, is that this world will end very soon. Much sooner than you know! Some will go to their Creator; and some will go to His enemy.”

“Heaven and Hell!” Anna scoffed. Yes, she scoffed; but in the innermost part of her mind, she was thinking of the night Vaya came to her on the lonely heath; the night she saw the flames rise out of the darkness. But she merely added, almost jestingly: “Is that what you mean?”

“Yes.”

“Well! And I had pegged you as such an intelligent old man.”

“I like to think I am. But understanding truth, I feel I should point out, has very little to do with one’s intelligence. You, I know, possess an incredible amount of that particular endowment. Yet you understand nothing.”

“I see.”

“Do you see?”

His voice grew louder here, and more passionate; just as it had done the first time he asked her whether she knew where she would go. It was as though it would hurt him personally a great deal, if she failed to grasp the message he was attempting to convey.

“I suppose not,” she said truthfully.

“Well then! That’s quite all right. But I think you will be pleased to know, that there is not much at all you need remember. Remember only this. This life is not what it seems; and what comes after is not what you expect. Live all the rest of your days, in accordance with whatever wishes you entertain for your own destiny.” He bowed his head very near to hers, and spoke into her ear. “You are not like the others,” he said quickly. “There is hope for you, Anna. You can be so much more, so much more than them! You can recall your soul – don’t you understand?”

“Recall it?” she muttered, looking almost with fright into his desperate countenance.

“Yes.”

“But how?”

“No one can answer that question for you. You will know when the time is right!”

He moved to part with her, then; but she pulled him back.

“And if I believe what you say,” she began hurriedly, keeping a firm grasp upon his sleeve, “what about – what about my friends?”

She thought of Greyson, too; but her eyes shifted involuntarily to Vaya’s face. She was dancing now with someone else, with the young Endalin whom we have already introduced to you. Jora was staring fixedly into her eyes, as if under a sort of spell. She merely talked at him, with her mind separated far from the place where she stood, and reaching towards Anna across the floor. But Anna shielded her thoughts for a moment, while she stayed waiting for Dahro’s response, much as one yanks down the shade over one’s window, when one requires even the briefest instant of privacy.

“If she is who you think she is,” Dahro answered plainly, “then there is hope for her, too. You both think you have no souls – but you need only claim them for yourselves! Choose well, Anna –” (he gripped her arms tightly, and began to move away) “– and I hope very much to see you on the right side.”

And then he was gone. Just as soon as he was out of sight, a young Endalin fellow swooped towards her, and asked for her hand; but she turned away from him without speaking, and began to walk. She glided very gracefully down the centre of the floor; but beneath the calm exterior which required a goodly amount of her strength to exude, she was experiencing sharp and terrible pain, very similar to that which she had felt some days ago, before Vaya placed the Turin for the first time round her neck. She knew she must hurry; but she moved first in Vaya’s direction, and passed her like a breath of wind, whispering very softly as she went by: “Come as quickly as you can.”

XXX:

The Change

 

O
nce inside her chamber, Anna hurried for the Turin; but whatever was holding her gripped her far too tightly now, and the silver only burnt ruthlessly, brought about a brief seizure so she was forced to cast it away, and produced a thick, vile foam at her mouth. These particular talismans, if you would know, are effective only when their wearers are in human (or, in Anna’s case, Lumarian) form. Once the body has shifted more than halfway towards the wolf, the Turin only causes a great deal of pain, without bringing in addition any blockade for the coming of the beast.

And so it came now. But with its absolute arrival, the pain and weakness disappeared, and were replaced by a strength so incredible, so complete, that Anna felt as if she might very well sink a whole fleet of ships, all on her own. The fabric of her raiment tore, and fell away. She towered farther and farther towards the high ceiling, till she had reached a height of more than eight feet. She stood there for a moment, wondering just how she was to change herself back; but this question was quick in the leaving, as the power only increased every moment, and flowed through her limbs like an electric current. If only she had known it, she would have marvelled to think, that she was in that moment the very strongest creature which ever had walked upon the earth; save, of course, for God Himself when He walked here; and His fallen child, too, who even presently walks here very often. She was stronger than any Lumarian, any Narkul, any Endalin – or any human army. She was nearly as strong as the angels. She was the coin produced by the alloy of Lumarian and wolf; and she was unstoppable.

She had made a hole in the wall high and wide as her body, smashed all the windows, and wrecked quite all of the furniture – with especial force shown to the mirror, in which she had caught a glimpse of the shadow of her own monstrous form – by the time Vaya arrived. Had she come just a few moments later, Anna would have thrown herself through the wall betwixt the chamber and the corridor, and gone rampaging quite all the way down to the dining hall, where the castle and its guests were still gathered together.

But Vaya had moved quickly; had given half-concocted excuses for her rapid departure; and had managed to shift herself to Anna’s chamber, before any irreparable damage was done. She came into the room like a surge of mad wind, looking round wildly. Anna spotted her, and crouched immediately into a corner of shadow, her jet-black fur melting into the darkness. She growled in warning as Vaya drew nigh; but the latter came anyway, and looked steadily up into the fearful mask which Anna’s face had become.

But Anna, strangely in spite of her newfound, insuperable strength, continued to shrink away. Her mind was racing, and full of clouds; but still her thoughts were her own; and still Vaya was to her, just exactly what she had been half an hour before. She recalled the sight she had witnessed, of Dahro’s and Jora’s wolfen shapes – strong but graceful, formidable but beautiful. Thereafter she could only look down at herself, disgusted.

She would not, for all the gold, silver and jewels in the world, have consented to look at that moment upon her own face. This conviction only made it all the more terrible that Vaya should stand there before her, watching her so closely that Anna wished
heartily she might die upon the spot, and never be made to witness what horror was doubtless reigning behind Vaya’s steady, resolute gaze.

But Vaya herself seemed aware of no such horror; and honestly, even as Anna peered cautiously into her mind, she could see nothing of it. Vaya only stared, unblinking, as her voice pierced the veil of Anna’s thoughts.

Speak to me.

Anna had no desire to try the horrid voice which she knew would come, were she to attempt then to speak. So she called silently,
What must I do?

You must concentrate.

On what?

Relax. Lie down.

Slowly and clumsily, Anna lowered herself to the floor. She lay on her massive back, breathing heavily. The sound filled the room. 

“The proximity of the wolves drew out the Narkul,” Vaya told her aloud. “Like-to-like natures and such. I suspected it might happen; I should have warned you.” She paused. “Can you shift?”

Anna shook her head.

“Have you tried?”

No.

“Then try!”  

She closed her eyes, willed herself across the room; and shifted to a spot some ten yards away, knocking Vaya to the floor as she went.

But Vaya only laughed from her place on the debris-strewn boards, and clapped her hands together. “If I had not seen it for myself,” she exclaimed, “I could never have imagined it. There is no telling what you can do! You could be strong as the thunder itself . . .”

But Anna had fallen back into the darkness again, with a pair of silver eyes gazing miserably from out the depths of its shadows. Vaya sprang to her feet in an instant, and ran to her.

“Oh, Anna – I’m sorry! Come, come. We shall understand this thing together.”

They settled themselves upon the floor, and sat (Vaya cross-legged in a pool of moonlight, and Anna on her great haunches in the chamber’s darkest shade) facing one another. Vaya looked into Anna’s shining eyes; and Anna met Vaya’s black ones, as they conversed rapidly, and constantly, without ever uttering a single word. The entirety of their discussion, however, would be too lengthy to record. You need only know that they sat unmoving for some time, before finally Anna unlocked the secret (which was, as it turned out, not much of a secret at all; but rather merely a delicate combination of concentration and muscle movement, which was on its own very hard to get a grasp of, and nearly impossible to recall once it had been accomplished), and went sprawling down to the floor on her hands and knees, clad in nothing more than a moonbeam.

Vaya flew to her, snatching up the Turin as she went, and stringing it round Anna’s neck in less than the blink of an eye. Then she settled her back against the wall, drew Anna’s head into her lap, and covered her with her own cloak. She sat very still, and very silent, while Anna slept, gazing all the while down into the pale white beauty of her face. Certainly Anna would not have believed her, even if Vaya had ventured to tell her; but Vaya spent this time thinking, that indeed Anna had appeared no less beautiful to her
as a great, dark, hulking beast, than she looked in this very moment, in the faint silver light that streamed through the broken windows.

 

~

 

The large party broke up in the dining hall round about midnight. Ephram, of course, stood baffled, gazing round for his two vanished daughters (none of those half-concocted excuses Vaya gave, had been for him; rather she had avoided his notice with all due manner of stealth), who had proved such disappointing hostesses that night. But without even the slightest hint of his knowledge, they were laid presently together on the floor of Anna’s chamber, with the silken scarlet cloak twined round them in their sleep, and their cold arms wrapped each round the other.

And so Ephram bade all his guests goodnight, with only Valo by his side. Soon the Endai had gone, and the occupants of the castle had hastened all to their respective chambers, weary from a night which had been, for most of them, nothing less than excruciating.

All was silent, then, when Anna and Vaya woke from their slumber. Anna stretched under Vaya’s arm, and turned towards her, to lay her head against her chest.

“You told me he would know,” she said to Vaya, “if it happened.” There was a moment’s anxious hesitation before she added, “Will he know?”

“Well,” said Vaya, “
we
shan’t know for certain, at any rate, until tomorrow at soonest. He will not come to reprimand you before morning.”

“What if we ran,” Anna murmured absently, “before tomorrow ever came?”

For a little Vaya was quiet. But then she looked down into Anna’s face, and said, “What we do is your decision. It’s your risk to stay; and it’s your risk to go. Therefore you must tell me when.”

“But it’s
your
risk,” Anna observed sullenly, “to go with me. I want you to think very hard about it, before you decide whether you will.”

Vaya laughed. “Whether I will? What a stupid question! I know, and you know, already that I will – so there is no need for thinking. But . . .”

She raised herself on an elbow, and reached for Anna’s gown, which was very long and of dark green, crushed velvet. It lay wrinkled, and in some places ripped, upon the floor. “Here,” she said. “Put this back on.”

“Why?”

“We are going out.”

“Out?”

“Put it on,” Vaya said with a smile, “and we will go.”

She frowned, and reached for the Turin round Anna’s neck. “And probably you should take this off,” she said.

Anna rose, bewildered, but slipped on her gown just the same. Vaya tossed her cloak down to the demolished bed, and was left standing only in a shimmering dress of crimson silk. She took Anna’s hand, and said, “Follow me.”

First they stopped in the corridor outside Clyde Whist’s chamber, upon the door of which Vaya knocked loudly, till she heard a sleepy reply from within. Then they shifted out of the castle altogether, and into the familiar clearing, where Anna had dressed
her own wounds, eaten roasted meat off of a spit, and lain all night beside Vaya. There was a dark piano standing there, and a little bench beside it.

“What is this?” Anna asked curiously.

“That was theirs,” Vaya answered, waving her hand towards the distant castle; “but this is our ball.”

“Our ball!”

“Yes, well – that is, if you don’t mind the company, and the dead leaves crunching underfoot.”

“What company?”

Almost as if in answer to her question, Clyde appeared suddenly upon the little bench, fitted out still in his dinner dress, with a handsome jacket beneath his sable cape – but, indeed, all of it was so very wrinkled, it was obvious that he had been sleeping in it for some hours.

“Hullo!” he said.

Anna eyed him doubtfully. “Vaya,” she said. “Are you quite sure this is a good idea?”

“A secret of mine,” Vaya replied, “is a secret of Clyde’s till eternal slumber. And besides – how would
I
play the piano, while my hands are full of you?”

“Quite right,” said Clyde.  “Are you ready for your music, ladies?”

“Music!” Anna exclaimed.

“What did you think I meant to do with this thing?” asked Clyde, gesturing to the piano with a single raised eyebrow.

“Well, I –”

Vaya pulled Anna towards her, and said, “I could not come to you in the hall – but I could not end the night, either, without having danced with you.”

But she was interrupted by a second arrival. Greyson quite suddenly converted their little party into one of four, when he came strolling through a break in the trees, with bright moonlight falling all over his featherbed-head, to make spiky shadows on the bark as he went.

“I’ve been searching for half an hour!” he said, as he came to kiss Anna’s cheek. “No matter how I tried, I couldn’t seem to find you.”

“That’s because we weren’t here,” Clyde rejoined, as he rolled his eyes at Greyson. “I told you I would come for you.”

“I thought you said to come at two? Ah, well – it sounds very like the other, don’t you think?” He paused to clap his hands, and said to Anna, “I knew that you two would be the best of friends!” He stared at Vaya while he said this; but without any of the bitterness which one might have expected to find in him, after his learning that his dearest friend loved the one whom
he
had loved for years and years, and thereby had spoilt whatever ridiculous dreams he may have wished to maintain. But the explanation for this was simple: and it was that he had discovered some time ago, that he admired Vaya Eleria very much, but did not love her at all. Moreover, he thought that she was rather mean.

BOOK: Anna von Wessen
8.43Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Maddigan's Fantasia by Margaret Mahy
Murder and Mayhem by Rhys Ford
Savage Lands by Clare Clark
The Death Trade by Jack Higgins