Bad Boy's Heart: A Firemen in Love Series Novella (7 page)

“This guy sounds like a real downer. Why would you even think of marrying him?”

I opened my photo album. It was full of pictures of Andy and I. He rarely smiled in any of them.

One by one, I deleted them all.

“I guess I appreciated the structure he gave my life. I'm always losing things, forgetting stuff, missing appointments. He said I was a scatterbrain and forced me to get back on track.”

“Nobody should ever
force
you to do anything.”

Looking back, there were lots of red flags. There was the way he'd “affectionately” call me dumb when I messed something up, only to apologize when I got mad enough about it.

Or how he'd put ingredients in my food that he knew I hated, just to try and convince me I'd learn to like them anyway.

Or the way he told me to stop being so emotional whenever I cried or got angry. He seemed happier with me when I acted like a perfect little robot.

“Did you love him?”

Carter's question stunned me as he pulled up to the stoplight.

“I don't see how that's really any of your business.”

He gave me “the look.” Never failed to wear me down, even ten years later. It was one of the things that drove me crazy about him – which, somehow, was both a good and a bad thing.

“I thought I did. At least, I told myself I did. On the outside, he looked like the perfect guy. My parents adored him. How could I
not
love him?”

“But you didn't.”

I wanted to yell, to say how dare he assume such a thing – but he was right. Admitting it made me feel sick and relieved at the same time.

“Maybe it's too soon to say this, and it probably isn't my place, but you know I was never good at keeping my mouth shut.” He rested his hand atop mine. “I think he did you a favor by bailing.”

Carter told the truth, even when people didn't want to hear it. It was maddening, yes, but I respected him for it.

To the right was the ocean and the docks, where all the rich people kept their boats. A big sign in the parking lot said “Scuba lessons here. Learn how to dive today!”

Carter saw it too. He grinned, and I knew what he would say before he said it.

“What do you think? Should we give it a try?”

I wasn't used to making random stops and doing things without at least a few hours of planning first. Andy made sure of that.

“Sure. Why not?”

“That's the spirit. No point in moping around, right? It's like that silly saying: today's the first day of the rest of your life.”

And now that Carter was back in it, everything had changed. There was a sexual tension that simmered between us. Both of us knew it, but he hadn't acted on it.

I felt bad for wanting him. He was a friend, and a playboy besides. I didn't like the idea of sleeping with a man so many women had touched before – and if I did let him have me, there would be many more after, too.

We pulled into the parking lot and Carter got us signed up for a tutorial lesson. He looked very excited as he stared out over the endless ocean.

“They'll get our equipment and the boat ready,” he said. “Go on and get changed.”

As I changed into my bathing suit, I lamented that I'd be showing off my jiggly butt in broad daylight. But when Carter and I emerged from the locker rooms, he stopped in his tracks and stared at me, eyes wide and unblinking.

His erection was beyond obvious in those loose swim trunks. He noticed, coughed, and worked quickly to wrap a towel around his waist.

“Something wrong?” I asked, equal parts flattered and confused.

“Wrong? Oh, no. It's just... been a long time since I've seen you like this.”

“Whatever that's supposed to mean.”

He didn't explain, and we got on the boat with all the other amateur divers. I made sure to check him out as he stepped on board.

How could I help it? He had the body of a male model, with muscles he'd earned from kicking ass as a firefighter. His bronze tan and those dark, sexy tattoos made my mouth water even more.

An employee greeted us as we found our seats. “Welcome! And where might you two be from?”

“Texas,” Carter said proudly. “We're on our honeymoon. This is my lovely new bride, Alicia.”

The man beamed. “Congratulations. I'll be sure to have the dive master throw in an extra ten minutes of swim time for you both.”

What
would
it be like, being married to Carter? We got along so well, everything just felt peaceful and easy when we were together.

But of course, that's because we were only friends. Sex changed everything. Sometimes, it ruined things too. That's why I had to resist his charms, no matter how good he looked without the clothes.

“You don't have to tell
everyone
we're married,” I told him. “All that matters is keeping the act up in front of my family.”

“Sure I do. Being newlyweds has its perks, as you see.”

He'd lifted the towel. I was suddenly very tempted to slide into his lap.

“Everyone, remain seated,” announced a worker. “The waves are a bit choppy today. If you need help putting on your equipment, just ask.”

“At least my grandparents seem to like you,” I said, sliding my foot into a fin. “And we avoided that picture debacle for now, but don't let your guard down. She'll be right back at it next time we get together.”

“Mm. Does that mean you're gonna have to kiss me eventually?”

I looked up from adjusting my mask. He was gazing at me, barely bothering to hide his desire.

“I already have. Remember?”

“Did you think I could ever forget?”

Talking about it brought back memories of that day, both good and not so much.

“Our swim team had just won the championship match. Like always, you were there to cheer me on.” He recalled the event with a smile. “You invited me over to your place and made me cookies to celebrate.”

“Oatmeal. Your favorite.”

“Always will be.” He nudged me. “Hint, hint. If you've still got those baking skills, I've had quite the hankering lately.”

“Why'd you do it?” I blurted. It was the question I'd been wanting to ask him for over a decade.

“What?”

“Why kiss me? It just came out of nowhere and then... You acted like it never happened after.”

He leaned over the railing and stared into the sea as if searching for the answer in it.

“I'm not good at talking about sappy stuff. You know that.”

“Try anyway. And I want the truth.”

“You had your hair up in this messy ponytail. Cookie dough smeared on your cheek. It was too adorable to resist.”

“Is it really that simple?”

“Men are simple creatures, Allie.”

He wasn't giving me the whole story. There had been such warmth in his eyes as he put his arms around me that evening. I'd never been kissed before; he made my first time perfect.

For a while, I wished that kissing wasn't the
only
thing he'd be my first for.

“Then my parents came home,” I continued the story. “You left. Next day at school, you never mentioned what happened. You acted like it didn't matter.”

“So did you,” he retorted, then looked away as he fiddled with his ring. “You want the truth? Fine. I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Scared that I made a mistake, that I messed up the awesome friendship we had. Sure, I had guy buddies, but they were nothing compared to you. You understood me. Listened to me when I had a shitty day. I didn't want to lose that.”

“Then maybe you should have talked to me about it instead of throwing yourself into the arms of an endless parade of other girls.”

Even now, ten years later, it still pissed me off. The pain I felt when he found himself a girlfriend a few weeks after that kiss, it was agony. Part of me would always hate him for it.

The boat came to a stop in a shallow bay, not far from the coast. The captain killed the engine, and it was quiet aside from the gently lapping waves and the calls of seagulls overhead.

“Okay, folks, here we are,” shouted an employee. “Once we're in there, stay with the group. I'll be keeping an eye on your air supply. Since you're beginners, we won't go below a depth of thirty feet.”

The man strapped an oxygen tank to my back. I tried to get up, but the dang thing weighed a hundred pounds, and the awkwardly large flippers weren't helping.

“Gimme your hand.”

Carter held onto me and yanked me to my feet. I stumbled back; he caught me by the waist before I could fall.

With his hands on my hips, it felt as though we'd traveled back in time to the night of our first and only kiss.

“If you'd like to continue this conversation, we can do so later.” He held up the mouthpiece connected to the tank. “No talking down there, you know.”

“There's nothing more to talk about.”

The other divers jumped off the edge with a loud splash. We were up next.

“Allie,” he murmured. “Even if this doesn't work out, I'm still glad I got to do this with you.”

Then he put the breathing thing over his mouth and leaped into the sea. The others had gone beneath the surface already, but he hovered, waiting for me.

If
what
didn't work out, exactly? Trying to fool my grandparents – or something else entirely?

Hurting and unsure, I followed him into the water, where I hoped the calm silence of the deep blue could help me collect my thoughts.

Chapter 7 - Carter

The card reader beeped as Alicia slid her key into it. This was the honeymoon suite, a fancy room designed for lovers, so you can bet I had mixed feelings following her inside.

“This is it,” she muttered, fumbling for the light switch. “Let's see what three hundred bucks a night got us.”

It was the biggest hotel room I'd seen, for sure, with crimson walls and marble floors. Vases of roses adorned each end table, which sat on either side of one very big, fluffy-looking bed.

It all looked like something out of a porno, but I knew better than to announce that.

“There's only a single bed,” I noted, trying pretty hard not to grin about it.

She stared at the gold-wrapped chocolates housekeeping had left on the pillows. “Yeah, there is.”

“You want me to get a room at the motel down the road?”

“Don't be dumb. What will people think if they find
that
out?” She gestured to a futon against the wall. “You can sleep there.”

Aw, man. That was disappointing, but what did I expect – especially after our unpleasant conversation aboard the dive boat?

Ten years had passed, and she was still angry about that kiss. How long was she going to hold that against me? I was just a young, dumb high-school kid, following my hormones instead of my brain because Alicia was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

“Hey, a bath tub with massaging jets.” She pointed to it as she set her suitcase down. “Sure could use a dip in that after all the stress I've been under lately.”

Was this woman
trying
to torture me? First, she bent over right in front of me on the boat, and now this.

I tried to distract myself from the pain of it all by digging through the drawers in the room. Instead, I only ended up making it worse.

When I pulled open the top drawer of the end table, a handful of familiar foil packets greeted me. I held one up in amazement.

“This hotel sure does provide for all their guests' needs, eh?”

Alicia was wide-eyed at the Trojan in my hand. “Her Pleasure,” it said. I sort of hoped she got the hint.

“They gave us
condoms?
”

“Technically, they gave the bride and groom condoms. Mighty thoughtful of them, don't you think? It sure would suck if you forgot the protection on your wedding night.”

She sputtered as I dug deeper in the drawer and found a bag of plastic bottles. One was warming massage oil, and there were at least three types of lube to choose from.

But the next thing I pulled out was the best of all.

“Is that a vibrator?” Alicia shrieked. “What kind of hotel
is
this?”

“A very generous one, I'll say.” I hit the power button and the toy buzzed to life. “I just hope it's not been used before.”

“Whatever you plan on doing with that, I do not want to know.”

I was sure she already did know, however. The way I looked at her surely gave my intentions away, but she didn't bite.

“I'm getting in the shower. That saltwater destroyed my hair, and I totally smell like fish.”

I'd turned on the TV to see what channels they had, so I wasn't quite thinking clearly when I said what I did next.

“Mind if I get in there with you?”

It wasn't very loud, but she definitely heard me. She peeked her head out the bathroom door and gave me a quizzical look.