Badger the Mystical Mutt and the Crumpled Capers (10 page)

BOOK: Badger the Mystical Mutt and the Crumpled Capers
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“It's not exactly my
favourite
place to be, especially not freezing cold water, but I didn't have any choice.”

“Well, I feel like doing something to show the others that cats and dogs can be pals,” said Snif firmly.

“Can't we just
be
pals?” said Timmy.

“But you are such a hero, and you lost your badge too. I think it's important that everyone knows about your bravery. It's time to banish the age-old myth that dogs and cats loathe each other.”

“What about the rest of the gang?” asked Timmy.

“Them?” snorted Snif. “I don't know why you wanted to be part of us? I'm ashamed to have been their leader.”

“Aren't you still their leader?”

“No. As of this moment, I resign,” said Snif decisively.

In the lane, Pogo Paws, Pickle and Lennie had donned their armour and chosen their weapons. They soon picked up Snif's scent
and headed straight for the shed in Badger's garden.

Meanwhile, Badger was making his way to the duck pond. When he arrived, Badger held his neckerchief in his paw and addressed it solemnly.

“It's going to be dark, it's going to be wet, and it's going to be freezing, but I'm afraid I have to ask this of you, 'Chief.”

He laid his neckerchief on the ice and said:
“'Chief, 'Chief, dive down deep, and fetch Timmy's collar back to keep.”

'Chief flew across the ice and plunged into the deep black hole.

Snuggled up in the shed, Snif was still thinking about what to do to bring cats and dogs together.

“If you're really serious, Snif, then we could set up some kind of place, where both cats and dogs could go, to maybe get some food and find some company if they're a bit lonely,” suggested Timmy.

“Perfect. Like a drop-in centre?” said Snif excitedly.

Just then, Badger returned from his business with 'Chief.

“Brrrr!” said Badger shivering. “I need to dry out my neckerchief.”

He hung his beloved neckerchief over a hook on the back of the door.

“There,” said Badger throwing Timmy his collar. “That's all we could find, I'm afraid. Your badge is long gone.”

“Thanks, Badger, and thank you, 'Chief, for trying. Never mind, at least I've got my collar back,” said Timmy gratefully.

Suddenly, the door was booted open and there stood three warriors ready for battle.
Pogo Paws had a big silver sieve on his head, and raised a rolling pin high. Pickle held out a black bin lid as a shield, and had an old dishcloth tied around her head. Lennie was wearing a plant pot as a hat and was wrapped in shiny tinfoil.

“Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hh!” they roared. “We've come to save you, Snif.”

Badger, Timmy and Snif stopped their cheerful chat and looked up in amazement.

“Save him from what?” asked Badger.

“So, Snif,” spat Pickle, “you've not been in danger at all? You've just been busy, cosying up with your new best friends?”

“After all we've done for you, this is how you repay us?” snarled Pogo Paws.

“I've been terribly worried about you,” added Lennie.

“Zip it, Lennie!” said Pickle and Pogo Paws together.

Suddenly, Pogo Paws charged towards Badger, Timmy and Snif, brandishing his rolling pin.

Snif stood up tall and placed himself between the rolling pin and Badger and Timmy.

“Drop it now and step away from the rolling pin,” barked Snif.

Pogo Paws laid down his weapon and backed off. Pickle kept hold of her bin lid shield, and Lennie began to peel off his tinfoil.

“Yes, this is where I've been. And if you knew anything at all, you would know why. While you were so busy trying to destroy Timmy yesterday,
he
was busy trying to save my life,” continued Snif.

Pogo Paws and Pickle looked at each other, not quite sure what to say. Lennie, who was lurking at the back, simply said, “Nice one, Timmy.”

“In fact, now is probably a good time to tell you, I'm not your leader any more. You're on your own. I resign.”

A month later, when the bitter frost had become less bitter, Badger was on his way to see Timmy and Snif.

Ahead of him in the lane, he spied Pickle, Pogo Paws and Lennie. Pickle threw a scrunched-up paper ball behind her before running on with the others. Badger tutted at Pickle's littering, and stopped to pick it up.

He smoothed out the paper ball and read aloud:

“Today, you are cordially invited to the Grand Opening of PLOPP, the new local drop-in centre for
The Peaceful Living Organisation for Pooches and Pussycats”

He smoothed it out some more.

“No more crumpledness here,” he thought, as he marched on proudly to attend the opening of Timmy and Snif's new centre. He wanted to present Timmy with a very special gift.

Badger smiled as he walked past the easels with tail-wagging diagrams and signs for workshops explaining the body language of cats and dogs. He chuckled at one blackboard as he read the words:
Fundamental Difference No. 1. Dogs like to be liked; cats aren't bothered
.

And he giggled when he saw a group of dogs giving some cats a lesson on how to endear themselves to the Big Folk.

He passed a production line with recycled cans of Buddy Bites and saw Snif in an apron with a net on his head, packing a thick yellow sludge into the cans.

“Hi, Badger,” shouted Snif. “I'm chief-chunker. What do you think? It's our new papaya and pineapple preserve; perfect for preventing allergies caused by pet dander.”

“Wow, that's amazing!” said Badger.

“We've just done a deal to supply the local lanes, and it's really catching on. We plan to expand across the duck pond soon, and we're doing a roaring trade on p-bay.”

“Toastastic! Is Timmy here today?” he asked.

“Yes, he's over there,” said Snif happily. “And his sneezes are long gone. This papaya and pineapple preserve sorted his allergy in a jiff of a jiffy.”

Timmy was hosting a session to his fellow cats on, “Conquering your fear of water”, when Badger appeared shyly at his side.

“I just wanted to give you this, Timmy,” said Badger holding out his paws.

Timmy looked and saw a shiny new Badger badge.

“But I thought …” he gasped,” that a Badger badge was a once-in-a-lifetime award, and I've already had mine”

“Yes, but you lost it during a remarkable feat of bravery, so I had another one made, just like it.”

Timmy pinned it proudly to his collar and thanked Badger. Snif appeared by his side and pointed happily to the sign above the entrance.

“What do you think of our logo?” he asked.

Badger looked at the PLOPP lettering, which had a sprig of mistletoe entwined around it.

“I think it's very appropriate, Snif, as mistletoe is, after all, a symbol of peace and harmony. I wish you well with this. It's a really good thing you're doing for us all.”

Snif and Timmy linked paws and smiled.

Out in the lane, Pogo Paws and Pickle were figuring out which of them would be leader. Neither of them had included Lennie in the vote.

“Why don't we do one potato, two potato?” suggested Lennie. “That seems the fairest way.”

“Potato what?” said Pickle.

Lennie placed his paw in the centre of them, and said “One potato”, then invited Pickle to put her paw on top and say, “two potato”.

Pogo Paws joined in, and as he placed his paw on top of Pickle's paw, he said “three potato”.

Lennie used his other paw to put on top of the pile of paws and said “four”. He pointed to Pickle to use her other paw.

“Five potato?” Then Pogo Paws made “six potato”, and Lennie “seven potato”.

BOOK: Badger the Mystical Mutt and the Crumpled Capers
12.61Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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