Beauty and the Biker (5 page)

After I catch my breath, I roll us both over. I’m still inside her as she straddles me. Since my cock finally came back to life, it doesn't seem like it will ever go down again. I reach down, removing my dog tags, and I put them around her neck as she sits atop me.

“What are these for?” she asks, pulling at the tags.

“It’s just another way to mark you as mine, baby.”

She reaches out and touches my wedding band, smiling at me. “I like seeing this on you. Marking you as mine.” With her words, she lifts up a little and moans at the sensation.

“Remember all those times we practiced this, shortcake?”

She starts to rock a little more, working her hips, finding a rhythm she likes. “I remember you teasing me. Not taking off your pants to give me what I wanted. I remember having to ride the ridge of your cock to get off because you wouldn’t put it in me.” The jingle of my tags sounds as she starts to really move on top of me.

“Well, now it’s all yours, baby. Do your worst.” I give her a cocky grin, and I feel the skin pull along my cheek where it’s scarred. She must sense my apprehension, because she leans down and kisses the part of my face that got the worst of the blast.

“You’re still that same gorgeous, arrogant bastard I fell in love with.”

I feel her lips trail down my neck and to my chest as she rocks up and down on my cock. I love the tight feeling of her around me, sharing our bodies with each other. I don’t plan on pulling out of her for the next three days. I want her as much as possible.

“Oh yeah? I’m a wounded vet now, shortcake. I think I’ll need some extra attention.”

She sits up and rolls her eyes at me, slowly sliding up and down my shaft. The feeling makes me moan, and she knows exactly what she’s doing. She looks down into my eyes, and I can feel us clicking into place again. Like two lost puzzle pieces being put back together. I’ve got my girl, and all's right with the world.

3
a.m
.

I wake up, breathing heavily and covered in sweat. I realize I’m standing and my ears are ringing. I look around the room and see that it’s trashed. It looks like someone took a bat to the furniture and broke everything that wasn’t nailed down.

“Julie.” The word is dry in my throat, and I’m having flashbacks of trying to talk in the hospital. The room is spinning, and I look around, desperately trying to find her.

I hear something in the corner of the room and look over to see her crouched and naked, huddled with her back pressed against the wall.

“Julie, baby, what happened?”

As I reach for her, I see the blood on my hands. It’s all over both of them, and I don’t know how it got there.

“Abe, please don’t,” she whispers, and I look to see her push herself further into the corner.

I stand up, blinking a few times, trying to remember where I am. Suddenly, flashes of my nightmares come back to me, and I realize I did this. I must have been dreaming about the bomb and destroyed the room when I was sleeping.

“Oh fuck.” I go back to Julie, and she’s still huddled tight in the corner. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I swear I won’t hurt you.” As the words come out of my mouth, I realize I don’t know if they’re true. “Jesus, Julie, did I hurt you?”

I look down and see a little blood on her legs, but I don’t know if that’s from something I broke or if I physically put my hands on her. My stomach flips, and I start to dry heave. I’m going to be sick. I get up off the floor and run to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time. “Oh God, what have I done?”

I hear movement in the other room, and I know what I need to do. I walk back out and grab my bag, throwing on jeans and a t-shirt. I glance over at Julie, and I see she’s got a sheet wrapped around her, and there’s blood on it too. Seeing it makes me want to vomit all over again.

“Abe—”

“Don’t. I was wrong to come after you. This was a mistake.”

“A mistake? What are you saying? What are you doing? You didn’t hurt me! It’s your blood on my legs and on the sheet. It came off your hands when you were trashing the place. I was scared. You woke up and just started tearing the room apart, and I couldn’t get you to stop. Please, Abe.”

I look up and see the tears running down her face. She looks so beautiful, yet so broken. I can’t do this to her again. I don’t know how much I hurt her this time, but I can’t risk going there again. I was selfish for trying to get her back. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why would I do this to the one person on this goddamn earth I love more than anything? More than my own fucked-up life. I would do anything for her, but I can’t stay. I need to really free her from me. She needs to move on from me, forget she even knew me. Maybe I even need her to hate me. That would make it easier for her. Words my brain are telling me to say but my heart don't mean pour from my mouth, knowing it’s for the best.

“Our marriage was a mistake. The dream I had of us and babies and forever, it was all a mistake. It’s over, Julie. I’m not the man you met, and I’ve been pretending ever since I got back that I’m not some goddamn monster.”

“Abraham, please, please don’t do this. Don’t do this to me again. Please don’t push me away. I’m your wife. We can work through this together. We can get you help.”

“I tried that!” I scream. “I tried every fucking thing there was and it didn’t work. It’s over, Julie. I’m not your husband and you’re not my wife. We don’t get a happily ever after. Our story ends here.”

She runs to me and tries to hold on to me, but I grab my bag, step back, and throw my hands up. “Don’t touch me, Julie. I’m nothing but poison. You were always too fucking good for me.”

I turn around and walk out of the room without looking back. But before the door slams shut, I hear the sobs ripping from her chest. I hear every sound of her hitting the floor, wailing for me to come back to her. I hear her heart break in two, and I know in that moment, I’ll have all-new nightmares for the rest of my life.

T
he next day

It took me four hours of talking to the cops to convince them that my husband—who left me on our wedding night—was the one who trashed the room, but that I didn’t want to report it as a crime or press any charges. I had to call my parents and get them to pay for the damages to the room before they would let me leave the police station since my credit card didn’t cover the costs.

Apparently, someone heard what happened. That, combined with my crying, led them to call the manager of the hotel, who then showed up to find me in my situation. Luckily, I don’t remember much.

I’m like a fucking zombie, on auto pilot, and as soon as the cab pulls up outside my parents’ house, they’re there with open arms to help me to my room.

Once I hit the bed, I don’t move.

F
or three months
.

F
ebruary
2013

“Please, Lucias, I need to see him.”

“Goddamn it, Julie, you don’t know what this does to him. Every time you show up, it takes us weeks to get him out of a bottle. Whenever you show up at the club and ask to see him, he loses it, even if he never lays eyes on you. You can’t keep doing this to each other. You have to let him go.”

“I just…” I try to find the words, but I know he’s right. Abe is a lost cause, but I wish someone would tell that to my heart. This is the third time in two months I’ve tried to get him to see me. But every time, it’s like this. “I just thought seeing him would help.”

“It doesn’t. You need to go, and don’t come back. If you love him, you’ll leave him be.”

I nod my head, knowing it’s the right thing for both of us. As much as this kills me, knowing he’s hurting more because I’m here makes it worse. If letting Abe go is the only thing I can do, then that’s what I’ll do.

O
ver 2 years later
—
May 2015

Taking a job at a strip club really isn’t all that bad. I’ve got a college degree, but this weekend gig pays more in two days than my accounting job pays in a month. Sure there are some shady deals that go on, but I keep my nose clean, my head down, and rake in the cash. All I have to do is smile at the right people, and my wallet gets stacked.

This isn’t how I pictured my life turning out but, hey, no one’s life is a fairy tale.

P
RESENT DAY
—
August 2015

I’m sweaty and shaking from the adrenaline. I could use a drink right now, but I push that thought from my mind. I don’t drink anymore, so it’s useless to wish for something I don’t want or need.

I elbow my way out of the ring and leave the crowd to sort out the guy on the ground. Another fight, another dollar. I tell myself it’s the only time I forget about her, but truthfully, it’s the time I remember her the most. When I’m in the ring, I see her face, remember her scent, and I fight. The only way I know how to cope with losing Julie is by hurting myself like I hurt her.

We have fight nights in the caves that lead into the hills surrounding Kansas City. During the day they are used by old print press and binding companies, but at night we clear the way for our fights.

I’ve been fighting down here since just after Vegas. Lucias, who’s now officially President of the club after the death of his father, thought it was a good way to channel my anger. Plus it pays extremely well. They all call me ‘Savage’ as my road name now. It fits, and I would rather have a name that kept people at a distance.

I had helped Pres take over the Ghost Riders MC just as I went back to Julie. I was hoping to bring her back and fold her into my life, but things didn’t go according to plan.

When I left her in that hotel room that night, I called Pres, and he caught the next flight to come get me. I don’t remember much after leaving the room, just that Pres got me back to the clubhouse. It was a while before I knew what was going on around me, I was that far gone. I drank until I forgot, then I’d remember anyway, and drink some more. After a while the alcohol didn’t work, and I switched to drugs. When those didn’t take the pain and nightmares away, Pres pulled me out of the gutter again and put me in a ring. Getting to beat on someone was the only thing that made me feel better. Fuck, Lucias knew me better than I knew myself. He watched me hit rock bottom so he could show me what would really work. Now I’m clean and sober, and I’m VP of the Ghost Riders, but I still live with my demons. The devil inside me won’t ever go away, but I’ve found a way to at least make him happy.

As Vice Pres of our club, I handle the shit. I keep blow back from hitting the club, and I stay by the Pres’s side. It’s my job to make his job easier, and I’m okay with that. Focusing on someone else gets my mind off my fucked-up life. Thinking about the club and how I can make it better is a shit ton more fun than thinking about how I’ve fucked up.

I’m unwrapping the tape from my hands when I spot Bret coming towards me. I know this isn’t the right thing to do, but I’m done living my life like this. It’s been years since I laid eyes on her, and I’ve had enough. I know I’m not good enough for Julie, and I don’t have much to offer her, but I’m a selfish motherfucker, and I need to see her. She may not take me back, but I’ve got to try to talk to her a little. My life has been shit since the day I walked out on her, and I have to get her back. I have one regret in my life, and it has nothing to do with the scars on my body. Fuck my scars, and fuck anyone who only sees them. My regret lies inside my heart, and it’s wrapped up in a curvy woman with blonde curls, and eyes that see through my bullshit.

There are a few people standing close to me, mostly sweet butts and boot chasers, but I don’t fuck with either. I am, after all, still a married man, not that I would even if I wasn't. If I couldn't have her, I wouldn't have anybody. I see Pres talking to Scribe just a short way away, and Casper and Vincent are letting people watch them fuck next to the ring.

I catch Bret’s eyes before he makes it to me, and I nod my head towards the back. I grab my towel and move around the crowd until I’m in the back of the cave and alone. As soon as Bret walks up, I’m a little on edge, but mostly ready to do this.

“Where’s she at?”

"Dude, you've been having me watch her for almost two years, and all you've ever asked is if she's okay. You said you didn't want details, you didn't want to know a fucking thing, other than if she's alive and if she’s okay. I've done this for you, and I never asked questions. So why are you suddenly asking questions now?"

I get up in his face, losing my patience. "You don’t need to worry about why. I’ve had my reasons. Tonight I want details. I’ve got plans to see her, and I need to know where she is.”

"Dude, I get that maybe she meant something to you at one time, but I’ve gotta be honest. She’s twisted up with the Five Aces, so you might want to rethink going after her. I'm not trying to get in club business, and you never asked for details before, but you might want to just let her go.”

I grab him by the collar of his shirt and lift him off the ground, pinning him to the wall.

“What. The. Fuck.”

He chokes out the words, but I hear them well enough. “Savage! Chill, man. She’s working at Leather and Lace, and I just thought you’d want to know she’s on the take with the Five Aces. I saw it last night. She was taking fistfuls of cash from their Road Captain. I don’t know what she’s into, but she’s in their territory, working at a club that’s marked theirs.”

I can’t process everything he’s saying because it’s all hitting me at once.

“She’s a stripper?”

I hear my question echo off the walls. I should be more careful about drawing attention, but I don’t give a fuck who hears. This news is ripping my insides to pieces, and changes my plan about going after her. I was going to wait for the right moment, but it looks like that’s now.

“What the fuck do you care, Savage? I said she’s working with the Five Aces. I don’t know if she’s passing information or what, but I’m just the messenger, man.”

I grip his collar tighter, cutting off all the air to his lungs. I don’t care that he’s kicking and scratching at me, or that he’s turning blue. He needs to stop the words from coming out of his fucking mouth.

“Yo, Savage. You looking for another round tonight? I don’t think this one is ready for the ring, but I could probably drum up a few contenders.”

I hear Mac aka Casper over my shoulder, but I’m not hearing what she has to say. “Go back to your man, Casper. I’ve got shit to do.”

"It's just my luck I finally get him worked up enough to fuck me in public, and I've gotta hop off his dick to save your ass."

“Nobody asked you to come over here."

“I'm pretty sure little boy blue here doesn't mind my interruption, do you, kid? Besides, those fucking sweet butts and ring bunnies saw me marking my territory with Vincent. I like making him wait to cum. Keeps him ready, if you know what I mean."

I drop Bret down on the ground, and he coughs and gasps for air.

“Enough. I'm out of here" I guess my plans for a big romantic gesture are out the window. I’m going to get my woman tonight.

“Where we going?”

Me and Cas have always had each other’s backs, and I know it’s because she saw what Julie meant to me. I don’t push her away because I know it won’t do any good. When I hit the opening of the cave and go to my bike, she hops on hers, and I look over to see her check her weapons.

“Leather and Lace.”

She gives me a wicked smile. “Fuck yeah, I could use some titties in my face right about now.”