Beauty and the Biker (7 page)

“He’s yours,” I say simply. Maybe calling him a baby was a stretch, but I always call him my baby even though he’s two now. He’ll always be my baby. “I didn’t want to keep him from you, Abe, and I wasn’t trying to hide him, but I’ve been protecting him from you doing to him what you did to me. He doesn’t deserve empty promises, to be left one day because you decide it’s too much. Besides, I tried to tell you about him, but you…”

My words trail off because I don’t want to say them. To remember all the times I showed up and was made to leave like I was nobody is too painful. Now isn’t the time to go into this, and I’ve got to think about my priorities. “Right this second, all I’m worried about is protecting him from this mess you’ve just made.”

I
think
if a truck came by and ran over me, I’d be less shocked than I am right now. It would probably hurt a fuck ton less too.

“Is he at your parents’ house right now?”

Hearing Vincent’s voice has us all turning in shock.

“You just had to follow me, didn’t you, Shield?” Casper looks just as surprised as the rest of us that her FBI agent boyfriend is here.

“Any good agent would have followed you. But a concerned old man would have tracked you, waited just inside the strip club to see if there was trouble, overheard everything you said, and then shown up to save the day.”

“Jesus, Shield. I’m putting a bell on your neck.” Casper goes over and rubs her hands on his body. “If this is supposed to turn me on, it’s working.”

“Yeah, he’s with my parents. I need to get there as fast as I can,” Julie says, interrupting them.

Hearing Julie’s pleas, I let go of her waist and stand up. I still don’t know what to say. She had our baby and didn’t tell me. Two years. Fuck, I’ve missed everything.

“The best thing you can do right now is go to the Ghost Riders clubhouse and wait until tomorrow. If Mac’s right, they’ll seek out revenge on you and Savage tonight. I’ll send a couple of squad cars out to your parents’ place just in case, but they’ll be looking for a fight with you guys first. My suggestion is to get your asses out of this lot and get to the club. It’s just for tonight, and it’s the safest option for you and your son.”

I look to Julie, and she nods her agreement, solemnly giving in and doing what’s safest for everyone. As she tries to get into her car, I take her hand and pull her with me to my bike.

“Abe, what are you doing?” She tries to pull away from me, but we don’t have time to waste.

“You’re leaving your car here. It’s faster on my bike.” Before she can protest, I grab her up and put her on the back, then get on and start it up. At first, she grips the side of the bike, but as I back out, her arms go around me. Feeling her on the back of my bike and having her hands around my waist, it’s in that moment I feel it again. It’s been years since I felt it, since the last time I touched her, but the click is there, and I’m back in place. My puzzle piece has fit right once again, and I know now what that feeling was all along. Julie is and always has been my soulmate. I know how much I fucked up and what I did to her. I’m trying to process that we have a child together, but there’s time for talk later. Right now, we need to get out of here.

Pulling out of the parking lot, I hear Casper behind me on her chopper, and Vincent is just behind her in his car. I change gears and hit the gas, letting the wind flow around us and blow away the bullshit. Some people say when they’re on their bike, they’re free, but not me. When I’m on mine, it’s a reminder of what I’m missing and who’s not sitting behind me, where she should be. Riding with Julie and feeling her warmth at my back changes everything.

When I feel her face press against me from behind, I reach back and rub her thigh, letting her know I feel it too. In this moment we are connecting and thinking back to all the other rides we’ve taken together. It feels like old times, and our hearts recognize what we once were. I’ve fought this thing between us, and I’m tired—so fucking tired—of fighting it. One thing in my entire life has made me happy and made me a better man, and that’s Julie. She’s my everything, and I threw her away because I was scared. I know what needs to change, and deciding to go to her tonight was the kick in the nuts I needed. It was the universe telling me, “Hey, dumbass, you’ve got one more chance,” and I’m not about to waste it.

We pull up to the iron gates, and I punch in the access code to the clubhouse. I look back at Julie and I can tell she’s seen the numbers I put in. I’ve always used her birthday, and I’ve never even thought about changing it. We don’t say anything as I roll through, pulling up outside the clubhouse, and helping her off the bike.

When I walk up to the double doors, I take her hand. She pulls back and just stands there, looking at me and then at the doors.

“We’ve got a lot to talk about, shortcake, so let’s get inside.”

Casper and Vincent stroll up beside me and stop to look at us. “Since she’s your wife, I guess that means she’s old lady status, but you might wanna check with Pres since she’s not agreeing to much, and she’s not sporting your tags,” Casper says.

I hate to admit it, but Casper has a point. Vincent shakes Casper’s tags around his neck as he walks by, both of them going into the clubhouse and leaving us outside.

I look back at Julie, and she crosses her arms over her chest.

“Baby, you’ve gotta wear my tags to get in. No exceptions.”

“I guess I’m not going inside then.”

She’s doing that ‘stubborn Julie’ thing I fucking love, but right now isn’t the time to be proud. “I get that you want to be right, and you still can be, but you can’t go through those doors without my tags on.” As I say it, I pull my tags out of my pocket and hold the chain open so she can put it on.

She looks back at me and then at the doors, but still stands there with her arms crossed. We are both frozen in our stubborn stance when she finally speaks.

“The last time I came to those doors I was five months pregnant with your son. I didn’t tell Lucias I was pregnant. I just told him I needed to see you. I thought you should’ve heard that from me, and truthfully, I didn’t want you to be with me because you felt obliged. When I said I needed to see you, Lucias told me to disappear and leave you alone because it was for the best. I didn’t need anything from you, but I thought you deserved to know. Making the decision to leave you that day and to raise our baby on my own was the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my life. So I’m sorry if I’m not super eager to bust in there and pretend like everything between us is fine.”

“Jesus, Julie. No one ever told me. I swear. Back then, fuck, I was a mess. Just hearing your name sent me on a bender for weeks. I drank and did drugs to try to make the pain go away. I did everything I could to forget us and how goddamn much I loved you. But nothing worked. Please, Julie, please. Just come inside with me and talk. It’s the one place I can keep you safe, and we need to get some shit between us straight. You don’t have to forgive me, but putting them on tells everyone you’re mine, and it’s the only way you can get inside.”

“Fine. Let’s get it over with.”

She leans forward a little, and I put the chain over her white blonde curls, around her neck. Once they hang in place over her heart, I feel something inside me settle. Something I didn’t even know was there.

I take her hand, and she lets me lead her through the doors and into the club. The main room is huge, and a few people are hanging out playing pool. There’s a long bar across one wall, and on the other side are couches facing a bank of tvs. No sweet butts are allowed in the clubhouse because they stir up shit, and Pres only wants people he can fully trust behind these walls, so on a Saturday night it’s not too packed. A few of the old ladies like to party, and some of the guys don’t mind sharing, so it can still get a bit rowdy, even with only a handful of people. Thankfully it’s a quiet night, and I just keep walking through to the back stairwell.

The house is spread out over a couple of floors, the top one is half mine and half Pres’s. He wanted us to live at the club to be close to everything at all times. Casper and Scribe have their own places, but they each have a room here to crash in case shit goes down. Pres and I live here full time since we both work at the garage on the other side of the compound, and aren’t interested in tagging pussy.

I hold her hand as we climb, only letting go to reach into my pocket for my keys. I grab her hand again and pull her into my space, a little nervous about showing her my place. We walk through the door, I lock it behind us, and she stands there and looks around.

I feel my cheeks heat a little, knowing what she’s looking at. The place is small, but it’s set up as an apartment with a living space, kitchen, and bedroom with an attached bath. It’s nothing over the top, but it’s clean and private. I’ve never let anyone in here before, so I decorated it the way I wanted to.

“Abraham,” she whispers, and my face reddens further. “Why?”

“Because this was the only way I could have you.” On every wall in my home, there’s a picture of Julie. A few of them are of us before the accident, but the biggest one is of our wedding day.

“After Vegas, I lost it. I started drinking until I blacked out, doing drugs, anything to numb the way I felt. I thought that night was the end of me, and I was running away from everything that I loved to finish my life as fast as I could. I had nothing left to live for after that night. After a few months, I decided to end it all, and I drove out to the river with a pistol. I was there, thinking about how I couldn’t have you and how nothing in my head would ever be right, when Mac showed up. She told me how she knew what it felt like to hate yourself, and how if I ended my life, it wouldn’t fix the wrong I’d done. She told me if I spent the rest of my life trying to make it right, then it was a life worth living. I didn’t know if I could ever have you again, but I could have this.”

I open my arms and gesture around the place covered in her smiles and laughter.

“And this was worth living for. If I got to wake up every day and see your face, even if it was just a picture, it was a day worth living. I hoped one day that I could make it back to you, and fix the wrong I’d done. I was trying to find the perfect moment, but there didn’t ever seem to be one. Tonight I was pushed to act faster, I had someone watching you, only telling me if you were okay. I didn’t know where you were or what you were up to. Tonight I asked where you were so I could find you and start my apology. I wanted to start to make right what I did to you, but hearing where you were, and how you were tangled up, sent me over the edge. I couldn’t wait any longer, and I needed to have you by my side.”

She looks at me and puts her hands over her mouth, tears running down her fingers.

“I know what happened on our wedding night was awful, and my leaving you like that was the worst thing I could’ve done to you. When I hit bottom, Lucias threw me in a ring, and gave me a way to channel my self-loathing. I hate myself so much for leaving you, and not being the man I knew you deserved.” I take a step towards her, walking slowly so she doesn’t step away. “I knew if I saw you, even for a second, before I was better, I wouldn’t be able to let you go, and I would have made the same mistake as before. I know what I did was wrong, and I wish I had a better word than ‘sorry’, but I’m so sorry, Julie. I’m so goddamn sorry.” I get on my knees in front of her and open my arms. It’s the same thing I did in her parents’ house the night I convinced her to run away and marry me.

Julie drops her hands, but tears still stream down her face. “Don’t you do this shit, Abe. Don’t you get on your knees and tell me you’re sorry. You broke my fucking heart, and I hate you for everything.”

“Baby, I hate me too. I hate me for being so fucking stupid and so fucking proud and for walking out on you. I hate me more than you ever could.” I kneel in front of her as she cries. I don’t have any tears left after nearly three years without her, so she cries for both of us as my heart bleeds. “Please, Julie. I can’t do this again. I can’t live without you and I can’t let you go. I’m not the man I was then. I’m so sorry, baby. Let me spend my life making it up to you.”

She looks around the room, seeing the pictures of herself, and then closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. I can see she’s been hurting just as much as I have, and it’s time we both put an end to the pain.

“Shortcake, we have a child together, and now that I know about him, I want to be in his life. I may have been a shitty husband, but I won’t be a shitty father. Whether you agree to let me back in your life is your decision, but I’ll be in his, no matter what. So if you’ll be mine, don’t do it because of the baby, say you’ll be mine again because you love me.”

She opens her eyes and looks straight into mine. “You know I love you more than bacon.”

With her words, I reach out and wrap her in my arms. She falls on her knees with me, and I hold her while she cries.

“Fuck, I love you so much, Julie. I’ll never leave you again, baby.” If this is the universe giving us one last chance, I’m not screwing it up.

I cradle her in my arms before picking her up off the floor and carrying her to my bed. I lay her down on it and climb on top of her, looking down at how beautiful she is. “Four years since I first met you, and you’ve only grown more beautiful. You’re still that gorgeous, sassy shortcake who stole my world out from under me.”

She sheds a few more tears, and I lean down, kissing them away. I kiss her lashes and cheeks, and then make my way to her lips. Once our mouths connect, I’m lost. Her kisses are like a drug, and I drown in euphoria. Our tongues taste one another, remembering the dance we never forgot. I hold her face in my hands, and her arms and legs automatically wrap around my body as if no time has passed. My body and hers, aligning as always, perfectly in sync, like time has stood still.

I’m hard as a rock and stiff with primal need. I push her skirt up and press my jean-covered erection to her warmth. We both moan at the sensation, and I pull back, taking my clothes off.

“Get naked, shortcake. I need to fuck you into the next century.”

She looks at me and blushes a little. She’s shy like never before, and I pause, my jeans halfway off.

“What’s wrong? Is this too fast? Fuck, was I reading this wrong? I thought for sure this was make-up sex.”

“No, no, Abe. I want to. It’s just…my body’s changed a lot since the baby, and I don’t look like I used to.” She tugs at her t-shirt a little, and I lean down over her, pushing her hands away.

“Baby, there’s not an inch of you I don’t love, and seeing as I’ve missed out on every inch of you for the past three years, now is not the time to be shy. I’m the one who’s all scarred-up, and you’re this perfect bombshell. You’re the beauty to my beast.”