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Authors: Kimberla Lawson Roby

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BOOK: Best Friends Forever
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C
eline sat up on the examination table. Dr. Jones, her breast surgeon, had just performed an exam and reviewed her mammogram and ultrasound reports. Dr. McKinley had told her that Dr. Jones was one of the best in the region, and that he was also certified in oncology.

“We won't be positively sure about your final diagnosis until we do a biopsy, so I'd really like to get that done right away.”

Celine nodded in agreement.

“What I can tell you today, however, is that your tumor is three centimeters, and whether it's benign or malignant, it will need to be removed.”

Celine suddenly wished Keith were there with her. It was strange how even though he was treating her like an unwanted child, it was him she wanted to lean on. A part of her also wished she'd asked Lauren to come, and the only reason she hadn't was because she knew Lauren would question the reason Keith wasn't going with her instead. Celine wanted to tell her, but she was still too humiliated to admit any of what Keith was up to.

“So how soon do you think you can do the biopsy?” she asked.

Dr. Jones sat in front of the computer. “Well, since Monday is a holiday, I'm sure we can get you scheduled for Tuesday morning.”

Celine didn't say anything, but with everything that was going on, she hadn't thought much at all about Memorial Day. Since the first year she and Keith were married, they'd celebrated every holiday, and they almost always had huge cookouts for Memorial Day and the Fourth of July. Sometimes they cooked out for Labor Day, too.

Dr. Jones typed a couple of notes and then rolled his chair around so that he was facing Celine again. “I'm really sorry you're having to go through this, but the good news is that we're already moving forward with finding out everything we can. Then, if it becomes necessary, we can begin treating you as soon as possible.”

“I agree, but I have to say, Doctor…this has really caught me off guard.”

“I'm sure it has, because this kind of thing is never easy. Not for anyone.”

“Dr. McKinley spoke very highly of you, so I appreciate your seeing me so quickly.”

“I'm glad we could get you in today,” he said, standing up. “I'll let you get dressed, and after that, my nurse will be in to tell you more about the biopsy procedure. She'll also let you know the date and time. Oh, and just so you know, I'll be doing a needle biopsy versus a surgical one.”

“Is there a reason? I'm only asking because I read online that surgical biopsies are a lot more reliable than the needle versions.”

“Yes, that's true, but based on your mammogram and ultrasound reports, I think a needle biopsy will give us a pretty conclusive diagnosis.”

Celine heard his words, and now she couldn't help asking the one question she'd been wanting to ask for the last few minutes. “So, if you had to give an expert opinion today, based solely on what you've seen so far, what would it be?”

“There's no way to be sure until we have your biopsy results, but I don't believe this is a benign situation.”

Celine's chest tightened, and her throat felt restricted. Dr. Jones hadn't said the words outright, but he was already prepared to find cancer. He didn't know exact details per se, but he believed she had a malignant tumor and he was doing the biopsy as soon as possible to confirm it.

Dr. Jones patted Celine's left shoulder, and she thought about the way Judith had rested her hand on top of hers at the women's center. Celine was very blessed to have such compassionate people helping her through this trying process.

“If you don't have any other questions,” Dr. Jones said, “please try to have a great holiday and I'll see you next week.”

“I think I'm good for now, and thanks again, Doctor.”

When Dr. Jones closed the door behind him, Celine had to will herself to get dressed. Her mind, body, and soul were numb. Of course, she found herself thinking about Keith again, and then Kassie. Her baby. What in the world would Kassie do if something happened to Celine? She would still have her father, but with the way Keith was acting, who was to say he'd be there for his daughter the way he needed to? Life for Celine had become an instant nightmare, and it was all too much to bear. From this day on, she knew nothing would ever be the same again.

C
eline had dropped Kassie off at her sleepover, and now she was ringing Lauren's doorbell. After Celine had left her doctor's appointment, she'd called Lauren at work and told her she was coming by this evening. Lauren had wanted to know what the doctor said, but Celine had told her she would explain everything when she saw her. It was then that Lauren had gotten quiet, which meant she already understood that the news wasn't good.

Lauren opened the front door to her condo, and she and Celine hugged for longer than usual. Lauren finally shut the door, and they went down the hall and into Lauren's den.

Celine dropped her purse onto a red leather chair, and she and Lauren sat on the matching sofa.

“So what happened?” Lauren asked, and Celine noticed how perfectly cut Lauren's hair was. Her new style was short and asymmetrical, and she looked like a forty-year-old supermodel.

“Dr. Jones thinks that I have cancer. He still needs to do a biopsy to find out for sure, but he seemed pretty positive.”

Lauren shook her head with sadness. “I was so hoping that wouldn't be the case.”

“Yeah, so was I, but ever since I felt the lump on Sunday, I've had a bad feeling about it. Somehow I knew this would be the result.”

“This really breaks my heart, girl, but we're going to fight it until the end,” Lauren said matter-of-factly. “You're going to be fine, and we're not going to consider anything different.”

“I want to believe that. Really, I do. But I've never felt more downtrodden or weak in my life. Normally I can see the positive in everything. I'm the one who sees the glass as being half-full and not half-empty. But not with this. I've been thinking of the worst possible outcomes all week long.”

“But that's so unlike you.”

“I know, but maybe it's because I've never had a life-threatening illness. It's one thing to pray and believe the best for others, but it's something totally different when it's about you.”

“That might be true, but you've got to keep your head up and know that you're going to be healed. From this moment on, you've got to meditate on Matthew nine, twenty-two, which says, “Daughter, be encouraged! Your faith has made you well.” You have to keep your faith strong and rid yourself of doubt. It's the only way you can beat this.”

Tears streamed down both sides of Celine's face. Lauren scooted closer to her and hugged her again.

“It really is going to be okay,” Lauren assured her. “I know it doesn't feel like that now, but it will be.”

Celine sniffled and wiped her eyes.

Lauren stood up. “Let me get you some tissue.”

Celine tried to calm herself down, and while she was definitely upset about what Dr. Jones had told her, she was mostly sad because of how terrible things were between her and Keith. Actually, this was the real reason she had such a woe-is-me attitude about her medical situation. She was so broken that she didn't have the strength to fight the way Lauren was suggesting. She'd always been a strong, independent woman, but not now. Not with her husband staying out late every night and making it clear that he no longer wanted her. He hadn't told her this, but his actions said everything.

Lauren walked back into the den, passed Celine the Kleenex, and sat back down. “So when are you having the biopsy? Has it been scheduled yet?”

“Yes, for Tuesday. Which is four long days from now.”

“Will they need to put you under?”

“No, Dr. Jones is doing it right in his office. He'll be taking a sample of the tumor by needle.”

“Well, I know Keith will be with you, but I want you to call me as soon as you're settled in back at home.”

“I will.”

Lauren rested her right arm across the back of the sofa. “This is really turning out to be a tough year.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. So has David finally stopped calling?”

Lauren pursed her lips together. “As a matter of fact, he has, but only because I blocked his number. I did it on both my home phone and my cell.”

“I still can't get over what he did. It just wasn't like him. He seemed like such a great guy.”

“Actually, he seemed perfect, and maybe that's what the problem was. He was putting on like he was the ideal person, but he couldn't keep up the facade.”

“Well, he put up a really good one, and he did it the whole two years you were dating.”

“I know, and that's why I was so devastated. I loved him, and I thought we would get married and be together forever.”

Celine wiped her nose. “It just doesn't make sense. I remember when he first started talking to you about marriage.”

“Yeah, but it just goes to show that if a man wants to be unfaithful, he'll do it no matter what. He can love you, be attracted to you, and still feel like he needs more. On the other hand, there are some men who make it a point to be faithful to their wives until death. And don't get me wrong, there are just as many disloyal women out here, too. Some women don't feel right unless they're sleeping around town.”

“I don't get any of it. Even when I dated men who I never wanted to marry, I didn't mess around on them,” Celine said. “Monogamy has always been very important to me.”

“I feel the same way, and that's the reason I won't put up with that. I won't tolerate that from any man.”

Celine thought about Keith and how she hadn't confronted him nearly the way she should have. But it was like she'd been thinking on Wednesday, this tumor issue had weakened her personality. She didn't like it, and although she wouldn't admit it out loud, the reason she was acting this way was because she didn't want to push Keith and cause him to leave her. She knew her thinking was crazy, spineless, and confusing, even, but she didn't want to struggle with cancer all alone. She didn't want to force Kassie to be without her father, the man she loved so dearly.

“I don't blame you” was all Celine said.

“I do want to thank you again, though,” Lauren told her. “You know, for standing by me the way you did. Through all my pain and tears. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through.”

“I know, but it's like my mom always used to say, ‘For everything bad, something good always comes out of it.'”

“Isn't that the truth? And for me, it was my level of strength. I've never been stronger than I am now, and it's all because of what David did to me. The same will hold true for you, too. On Tuesday, you'll find out what's what, you'll go through whatever it takes to get past it, and you'll be stronger than ever.”

“I hope so.”

“You will. Just wait and see. And hey, have you eaten?”

“No. I don't really have an appetite.”

“Well, I'm getting a little hungry, unless you and Keith already have dinner plans.”

“No, he's going out with some of his coworkers,” she lied.

Lauren raised her eyebrows. “After hearing what your doctor said this afternoon, he still went out somewhere?”

Celine pretended she was okay with that. “Please. I was fine, and life goes on. Plus, he knew I wanted to come talk to you about my appointment,” she said, making things up as she went along. “He even offered to take Kassie over to her friend's house, but I really wanted to do it myself. I don't want things changing for her any more than they have to.”

The part about Kassie was true, but sadly, Keith hadn't even come home from work, and he also hadn't returned any of Celine's calls. He was only God knew where, and Celine was certainly the least of his worries.

Lauren didn't say anything else about Keith, but it was obvious how stunned she still was about his going out with coworkers when there was a chance his wife was very ill. Of course, Keith didn't know about any of it, let alone Celine's diagnostic results or her visit to a breast surgeon. For this reason, Celine changed the subject altogether.

“So what are you doing for Memorial Day? I hadn't even thought about it until Dr. Jones mentioned it earlier.”

“I don't know. Normally I come to your house,” she said, and they both laughed.

“Well, I'm not sure I'll feel like cooking or celebrating, but you can still come by if you want. We'll just pick up some food from a restaurant.”

“Fine with me, and speaking of food,” Lauren said, scooting to the edge of the sofa, “I'm ready to order something now. What about a pizza?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“I know you're not hungry, but you really should eat something,” Lauren said, leaving the room so she could grab her purse.

Celine followed her, but mostly she thought about Keith again. She wondered where he was and whether he'd be home before morning.

A
s soon as Celine heard Keith pulling into the driveway, she got out of bed, slipped on her robe without tying it, and rushed down the stairs. It was four a.m., and she hadn't slept a wink, yet Keith was just bringing his no-good behind home. Celine couldn't remember ever being more furious and hurt all at the same time, and she'd had about as much of this as she could take.

Keith strolled into the kitchen, and before he could close the door behind him, Celine went off.

“You must think I'm stupid! Where in the world have you been, Keith? Does that whore have you that caught up?”

He dropped his key fob on the island, rolling his eyes with irritation.

“Wait a minute. I know you're not rolling your eyes at me. Not when you're the one who just walked in here.”

Keith looked at her as though he didn't understand English. He seemed unmoved by all that she was saying.

“What's wrong with you? What is it that I've done so terribly for you to treat me like this?”

“I knew I should have stayed where I was. I shouldn't have come back here until tomorrow night.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“What?”

“Disrespecting me, our marriage, and our daughter.”

“Oh, please,” he said, scrunching his forehead. “Stop trying to make this about Kassie.”

“Well, how long do you think we can go on like this, Keith? Huh?”

“Actually, I don't.”

“Meaning what?”

“You and I need time apart.”

Celine swallowed the massive lump in her throat. “What are you talking about?”

“Things are really bad between us. They're so bad, there's no way we can work them out while living under the same roof.”

“That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. How is separating going to help anything?”

Keith leaned against the island. “I need time away so I can think.”

“Wow,” she said, laughing. “Where is all this coming from? Did that whore of yours give you some sort of ultimatum? What is this exactly?”

“I really think my moving out would be best.”

“What about counseling? I just asked you about that a few days ago.”

“And I told you then that I think we're beyond all that. Plus, I have no desire to go telling my business to some stranger.”

“Really? But you think moving out so you can
think
might fix everything?”

“It might,” he said, and Celine wanted to slap that blasé look off his face. He glared at her like she was a nonentity—as though she were someone he barely knew and couldn't care less about.

“That trick you're sleeping with has turned you into a fool.”

“Celine, please. This isn't about anyone else. I've told you before, this is about you and me. How totally disconnected we are.”

“Yeah, but there's still someone else.”

“I'm really tired,” he said.

“I'm sure you are.”

“I'm going upstairs.”

“Wait,” she said.

Keith frowned. “What is it?”

“I have a tumor.”

“Where?” he said, sounding as though he didn't believe her.

“In my breast, and the doctor thinks it's cancerous.”

“How long have you known this?”

“I noticed a lump on Sunday. I had tests on Wednesday, and I saw a breast surgeon yesterday afternoon.”

Keith's face softened. “Wow. Well, I'm really sorry to hear that.”

Celine didn't say anything.

“So when will they know for sure if it's cancer or not?”

“My doctor is doing a biopsy on Tuesday.”

“Oh,” he said, sounding relieved. “Then I think you should just wait and see what happens, because it's not like you're having any pain or anything, are you?”

“No, but you don't have to have pain to have cancer, and my doctor believes it's malignant.”

“I'm sure you'll be fine.”

“That's my prayer, but I also hope you understand why I need you to be here for me right now. I need your support. Especially if I really do have cancer, because I'll then need surgery and probably chemo or radiation. There's a chance I might need both. Kassie will need you a whole lot more, too.”

“I think you're jumping the gun on this a little bit.”

“I don't think so, and if you don't mind, I'd really like you to go with me to my appointment on Tuesday.”

“I wish you'd told me a lot earlier. That way I could've asked my secretary to reschedule my Tuesday morning meetings.”

“I did try to tell you earlier. I called you several times, but you never answered or called me back, remember?”

“Well, that's beside the point. I can't just go missing important meetings without giving notice.”

“So you're a VP, and you're telling me that your colleagues won't understand that you need to take your wife to the doctor? Your wife who might have cancer?”

“I don't think I can, but I'll see what I can do.”

Celine shook her head. “Gosh, Keith. Not in a million years.”

“What?”

“Not in a million lifetimes would I have thought you'd have an affair. I never imagined I would have to deal with something like this. Not with how close we've always been. Not to mention how much we've always loved each other.”

“Celine, people grow apart every single day. It's unfortunate, but it happens. It's life.”

Celine didn't bother responding, and Keith left and went upstairs. Celine followed behind him, and to her surprise, he went into the guest bedroom again. She knew he'd slept there the last two nights, but after hearing her news, she'd expected him to have at least a little more compassion. Regardless of how he was feeling about their marriage, she was still his wife and the mother of his child. But who was she fooling? His compassion for her was gone, because he was sleeping with someone else. He still wouldn't admit it, but he also
still
wouldn't deny it. His attitude was cocky, and he acted as though he didn't care whether they stayed married or not—this, of course, was usually the case when any man had found himself a plan B. Whenever a man allowed another woman to enter the picture, he became bold and heartless, and he didn't feel bad about it. This was true of all men who decided that being unhappy justified their having an affair. These same men stupidly believed they could live perfect lives with some graceless whore.

Celine loved her husband and she wanted to fight for her marriage, but she also wouldn't keep begging him to do right by her. She wouldn't be foolish. She wouldn't continue wasting time on a man—husband or not—who wanted to be somewhere else, especially when her real energies should be directed toward trying to stay alive. There was no telling how things were going to turn out after Tuesday, so she would spend this holiday weekend praying and meditating. She would focus on God and worry about Keith later. It was just the way things had to be—whether she liked it or not.

BOOK: Best Friends Forever
10.91Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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