Between the Sheets (5 page)

Beat.

MARION

I wasn't even thinking about children at your age.

TERESA

Well, I've been thinking about it my whole life so…

They look at one another.

MARION

(quietly)
I miscarried.

Beat.

(quietly)
Did he tell you that?

TERESA shakes her head no.

Twice. The first time I wasn't very far along, but the second time… I had to deliver. It was awful, it…

She stops herself.

Curtis was heartbroken. That whole period of time…

She stops herself.

No one tells you that it might be difficult. That it might not happen the way you imagine. You expect that when you want to have a child… you'll be able to. That it will…

She looks at TERESA

You have options. You can adopt.

TERESA

Would you have adopted?

MARION

We talked about it.

TERESA

And?

MARION

And… Curtis wanted to keep trying. Then we had Alex.

Beat.

It's hard, you know… whether you have a child or not… it's hard.

TERESA

(quietly)
Some things make it harder.

MARION

Having a child, it…

Beat.

It's the most complicated, wonderful, horrific relationship I've ever had.

TERESA

Alex means well.

MARION

Of course he does. He's my baby. He's just…

MARION stops herself.

She rubs her eyes. She breathes heavily.

TERESA

Are you all right?

MARION

I think I'm just tired.

MARION sits at one of the small desks.

I'm exhausted, actually.

Beat.

TERESA

Me too.

They look at one another.

Beat.

MARION

Sometimes I just want to be left alone somewhere… far away… where no one can find me.

MARION looks off, lost in thought.

TERESA watches her closely.

TERESA

He knows that.

MARION

What?

TERESA

Curtis. He knows that you want to be left alone.

MARION

I didn't mean literally.

TERESA

Still… he can tell. He can feel that you—

MARION

Being left and being left alone are two very different things.

Beat.

TERESA

He's tried.

MARION

Tried?

TERESA

He's suggested that you see someone together.

MARION

That doesn't constitute trying. The man's just given up.

TERESA

He hasn't given up.

MARION

No?

TERESA

No. He…

She stops herself.

He wants his life to be different.

MARION

We all do. We all want our lives to be different. But that doesn't give him permission to live his life however he wants… to just exit his marriage.

I've had opportunities too, you know… to be with other men. But I would never act on it. I would never do that to him.

The worst part is he hasn't even given me a chance.

TERESA

He has given you a chance.

MARION

No, he hasn't. He has never sat me down and talked to me about it.

TERESA

He has. You don't…

She stops herself.

MARION

What? I don't what?

TERESA

Listen!

MARION

That is not true.

TERESA

He's told me… he has tried to talk to you about it… but you change the subject or you leave the room. He's told me… you've literally left the room midconversation because he brought something up that you didn't want to hear.

MARION

Once. That happened once.

TERESA

Everything has to be your way… all the time.

MARION

I shouldn't have to apologize for having high expectations.

TERESA

You're right. You shouldn't. But if he can't talk to you… if you won't listen to him—

MARION

I listen!

TERESA

How is it any kind of partnership if you don't—

MARION

You've never been married. What the hell would you know about—

TERESA

I know that if you love someone, if you respect them—

MARION

It's not as easy as just—

TERESA

Are you in love with him?

Beat.

MARION

That is a very difficult question to answer.

TERESA

Well, it shouldn't be.

MARION

Well… it is.

Beat.

When you've lived with someone… when you've known someone as long as we've known each other, it…

She stops herself.

We also used to talk all the time. When we first met… when we first started dating… we were inseparable. We couldn't stand being apart from one another. He had this infectious energy. He made me feel like I could do anything. Like anything was possible.

But you get older… you change and your relationship isn't the way it used to be… and you're not the way you used to be. You don't mean for it to happen. It just does.

Beat.

And then you have a child… a family… and everything just…

Beat.

I know we've grown distant. I can feel it. I've felt it for a long time now. But I don't… I don't know how to reach him… I don't know how to reach across the table… or the bed even to let him know that I'm still here… that I'm still…

MARION looks at TERESA.

How did you do it?

TERESA

What?

MARION

You found a way to get close to him. What did you do?

TERESA

I didn't do anything.

MARION

You did. You connected to him. How?

TERESA

I don't know. I listened to him.

MARION

And?

TERESA

And what?

MARION

What else?

TERESA

Nothing.

MARION

No. You figured something out.

TERESA

I didn't figure anything out.

MARION

You did.

MARION looks at her.

MARION

Give me a way to connect to him. Give me a way to…

MARION goes to the binder.

This… is this what he likes?

TERESA

What?

MARION

Please. This is my marriage. You've only known each other a couple of months. We've been together for twenty-four years.

TERESA

I—

MARION

I was there when he got his first job. I was there when his mother died… when our son was born. We have shared an entire lifetime together. I know him in a way that no one else will. Please! Give me a way to—

TERESA

Stop! What you're asking me… I don't understand. How can you not know how to connect to your own husband? If you've had so much time together… why has it taken you so long to…

She looks at MARION.

No… it is not my fault that you needed something like this to happen in order for you to see how lucky you are… how lucky you are to have the life that you have.

Curtis has been so good to me. You have no idea what that means.

MARION

You care about each other.

TERESA

No. You have no idea what my life has been like. For the past few years… I couldn't be touched. I couldn't let anyone get close to me. I had difficulty leaving my house, I didn't socialize, I had to take a break from teaching. Everything about my life changed.

Having such a huge part of me… just taken out. Like somebody came along and just scooped everything out. I have this giant hole inside me. I can feel it. When I lie down… when I bend over… there is this huge part of me that is missing.

He is the first person that I have been able to stand being around. The first person I let into my life… that I can actually talk to about it without—

MARION

Is there no one else you can—

TERESA

Trust me. I've tried to talk to them. I have. But I see that look in their eyes… that glazed look they get if I start talking about it. No one wants to hear about it. No one wants you to talk about it. Everyone wants you to just move on but… I can't. It's all I think about. It consumes me.

I see women… ordinary women walking down the street… women with their children and I just… I lose it. I break down on the sidewalk. Just seeing a baby carriage, I…

TERESA buries her head in her hands.

MARION

(quietly)
I understand.

TERESA

How can you possibly understand?

MARION

I can imagine.

TERESA

You've had a child. I will never be able to…

They kept telling me… they did… at the hospital. They tried to prepare me for it. They told me what they were doing… what they were taking out. That there would be no way for me to…

Beat.

I'm going through menopause. Menopause! It's…

MARION

Can't they give you something?

TERESA

I've tried everything. Nothing works. I'm just so sick of it. The wearing hundreds of layers all the time because I never know when I'm going to be hot or cold… the feeling like I'm crawling out of my skin… the exhaustion… the emptiness. I'm sick of—

A phone rings.

MARION and TERESA are both caught off guard.

MARION rushes to her purse. She pulls out her cellphone and answers it.

MARION

(into the phone)
Hello?

MARION moves to the far corner of the room.

TERESA moves to her desk, pretending to occupy herself.

(into the phone)
Did you
…
no, no he won't wear those… he doesn't like the way they… the blue ones, in the bottom drawer… I know, I can hear him… no, I'm still at the office… I know… I'm on my way home… no… no, don't put him on the phone, tell him… tell him I'm coming… it's okay, tell him it's… okay, bye.

MARION hangs up.

TERESA

Is everything all right?

Beat.

MARION

It's Alex.

TERESA

Is he—

MARION

I have to get home.

MARION goes to collect her things. She puts her coat on.

TERESA watches her.

TERESA

It was never about you… you know that, don't you?

MARION looks at her.

MARION

And yet… here we are.

TERESA

I know.

Beat.

They look at one another for a long moment.

MARION heads for the door.

She stops.

MARION

I…

Beat.

(quietly)
I wasn't thinking clearly.

TERESA

What?

MARION

What I did.

TERESA

What you did?

Beat.

MARION

I sent them.

TERESA

Sent what?

MARION

What you wrote… the exchanges… the emails.

TERESA

I don't understand.

MARION

The emails you wrote each other… I sent them to Mr. Williams. I didn't think it through.

TERESA

You… what?

MARION

He's not the only one.

TERESA

What do you mean he's not the only one?

MARION

I sent them to the parents' board.

TERESA

The board?

MARION

The chair… Barbara… she's a family friend.

TERESA

Oh my god.

MARION

I told them to fire you. I told them I'd pull Alex out of the school. I said I would make a scene if they didn't get rid of you.

TERESA

When did you—

MARION

This morning. I sent them this morning.

TERESA

(quietly)
No.

MARION

I didn't think it through.

TERESA

You have to fix this.

MARION

How?

TERESA

I don't know. You have to contact them. You have to write to them or call them. You have to tell them it isn't—

MARION

What… that it isn't true? It is true.

TERESA

But you… you should have come to me first. Why didn't you come to me first? You could have at least given me a chance to—

MARION

To what?

TERESA

I don't know… to…

She looks at MARION.

This is my job… my income.

MARION

You'll be okay.

TERESA

Okay? You think someone else is going hire me after—

MARION

You're a good teacher.

TERESA

Tell them that! Tell them what you just said to me.

MARION

I don't know what difference it will make.

TERESA

It…

Beat.

I'll go to them myself if I have to. I'll tell them everything… I'll tell them the entire situation. I'll tell them about Curtis… about you coming to see…

TERESA looks at her.

You knew… this entire time. When you first walked in here… you let me… I told you… why would you do something so…

Beat.

Why?

Beat.

MARION

(quietly)
Because…

Beat.

I didn't want to be the only one in pain.

TERESA

So this… this makes you feel better?

Beat.

MARION

(quietly)
No.

TERESA looks at her.

TERESA

You know… I have always tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. You…

TERESA turns away.

Get out.

MARION

I didn't mean to—

TERESA

Yes. You did. You did mean to.

MARION

I didn't know what I was doing.

TERESA

You knew exactly what you were doing.