BLAMELESS: MC Biker Romance (Black Thorns, #3) (8 page)

His eyes bore into mine, scrutinizing me closely. Too closely. “You’re lying.”

I look away quickly. “Look, now you know I weren’t down in Brockford to cause trouble. So, you’re done here then. Just go now, yeah? Ain’t in the mood for company, Ax.”

“Runner—”

“I’m serious. Just go.”

He blows out a breath and gets to his feet. He walks out to the door.

But, of course, being the guy he is, he’s gotta have the last word. “You know I’m here, right? You need me and I’m here, brother. Don’t be forgetting that.”

“I know.”

“Good.” He gives me a chin lift, then unlocks my door and walks out.

I slump down on the couch he just left and bring my hands to my face.

Fuck.

I don’t get where the hell my head’s at lately. I know Ax is noticing a change in me. It’s why he won’t leave me alone for more than a few hours. Keeps calling and texting me, inviting me to his home for dinner and shit. He’s worried ‘bout me. And, fuck, I’m worried, too, cuz this ain’t me.

Especially this situation with Sarah.

Shit.

I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out the jar of salts she gave me. So fucking sweet of her. And all I could do were give her a grunt of thanks and then walk out on her and lie to her ‘bout calling her. Don’t even got her number. Didn’t ask for it on purpose. It’s ingrained in me not to, I guess. Once I’ve fucked a woman, that’s the end of the story. Rarely ever fuck the same woman twice neither, unless I’m too drunk to give a shit. Sometimes happens with the club whores. But those bitches know the score. They know it don’t mean shit if I give ‘em a second go.

But Sarah ain’t no club whore. Hell, she ain’t no kind of whore at all.

And I didn’t fuck her neither. Just ate her out. Big difference to fucking her in my books. My cock sure thought so, too. Can’t believe I had that kinda control with her. Can’t believe I
wanted
to control myself ‘round her—
for
her. Means she weren’t just another warm body for me to sink my cock into and get the rush I need.

With me, it’s more than fun. That’s what most of the boys think it’s all ‘bout with me. Well, except Smiter. Accidentally told him the truth of it once when I were out-of-my-mind drunk one night. I need that high from fucking. That rush. That intensity. I basically traded one addiction for another. Thing is, sex is way less destructive than drugs.

Sex and booze is how I keep off the other stuff. Helps me put it outta my mind.

‘Til now.

Now it ain’t working.

It’s got too fucking tired.

I ain’t getting that same rush.

It’s just more of the same old shit.

Except
with her. With Sarah.

I felt that rush with her and not just when things got sexual. Just being ‘round her.

It’s why I really went down to Brockford to see her. Weren’t just to talk or hang out.

Nah. After that close call with ‘em pills in Ax and Rox’s bathroom, I
needed
her to get my head off it. And somehow she has that power over me. She brings me to a place that’s a world away from all that bad. An innocent place where there ain’t no darkness.

But…shit…I had to leave.

The way she were this morning really freaked me out.

Clingy.

Making me that breakfast weren’t just food to her. It were a goddamn gesture. Some sorta
couple-like
or relationship gesture. And then asking me to spend the day with her? Holy shit. I realized then that what we did meant more to her than just something physical. Sex equals dating to her. A relationship.

It freaked me out, big time.

I knew she weren’t no whore, or like the bitches I’m used to screwing ‘round with. But, even knowing that, I weren’t prepared for all of that stuff from her.

The screwed up thing is that I know I were sending her mixed signals. I had my arms ‘round her all night on her couch. Didn’t just eat her pussy and then get gone. Hell, I didn’t even move off her to sleep somewhere else in her house. Even that woulda been enough to stop her from thinking it meant more to
me
than just something fun and sexual.

It’s cuz it
did
mean something more to me.

I were fine with it at the time, but I’d been numbed by a load of booze.

In the harsh light of day, it were a different story.

My senses returned.

Or, maybe my fear did. Maybe that’s what it really were.

Nah. Fuck that. Nothing strikes fear into me. Ridiculous.

I gotta keep away from her.

She messes with my head too much.

Being ‘round her helped me with that close call last night, but that’s it. That’s as far as it’s gonna go. I ain’t the kinda guy she needs. I fuck and run. That’s it.

I pat down my pockets, searching for my phone. Need to charge it after being away for close to a day. Yeah, after I left her place, I just rode and rode for hours to try to clear my head.

Shit. My phone ain’t nowhere.

Must’ve left it at her place.

Well, I’m gonna need a new one then.

Argh. Whatever. I’ll worry ‘bout it tomorrow.

Wound’s killing me from riding too long.

I grab my cane and pull myself to my feet.

Gotta lie down.

Chapter 10

~Sarah~

“Are you sure this is okay? I don’t need some sort of pass to get in?” I ask, Rox.

She laughs and wraps her arm around me. “Sarah, I’m married to the President of the club.”

“I know, but
I’m
not part of the club, or a…uh…what is it called?”

“Old Lady.”

“Right. That.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

We’re barely a few feet from the big entrance doors to the Black Thorns MC clubhouse now. I don’t know how Rox can be so calm in a place like this. For goodness sake, there were two men manning the gates with firearms. But, then again, she’s never had the fear gene. The work she used to do in Brockford made that clear. So, of course she wouldn’t be intimidated by a place like this, full of scary, tough bikers. Nothing and no one intimidates her. She’s the opposite of me in that respect. Everything scares me. I’m always nervous of new things and I’m easily intimidated, too.

Although, the strange thing is, I’ve never been afraid of Zeb.

Even after I saw how brutal he can be that night he fought off Eddie’s thugs, I wasn’t afraid.

It doesn’t really make sense, because he’s clearly a dangerous man. He knows how to fight, he carries a firearm and he’s a member of a biker club. But, despite all that, he’s never instilled fear in me. Nervousness, sure, because of his overt sexuality, but not fear.

As we reach the doors, Rox releases me and smirks, “Besides, don’t you want to give Runner his phone back?”

I look down at it clutched in my hand. That’s when I realize that I’m holding it in a crushing grip. That’s how ill at ease I am about the prospect of walking into their clubhouse. I loosen my grip before I end up breaking his phone. “Uh…yeah…right. The phone.”

It’s been a week since he ran out of my place. I thought he’d realize he’d left his phone with me and then come to collect it, but he never did. So, I contacted Rox to ask where he was. She told me he was hanging out at the clubhouse tonight. It was his first day back off his suspension thing.

Rox reaches for the door and tugs the handle in that overly aggressive way of hers.

It doesn’t budge.

“What’s going on?” she exclaims. She looks at me and raises her eyebrows. “It’s locked. That’s weird.”

She smashes her fists on the hard metal, not seeming to care about the bruises it’s surely going to give her.

She steps back when we both hear the locks inside clanging.

In the next moment, a huge skin-head, muscle bound guy with a tattoo snaking up his neck opens the door. I’ve seen him in my diner several times and he’s been around our friend, Halle, quite a bit.

Smiter.

“Rox. Uh…hey, sweetheart,” he says, looking nervous. His eyes dart to me and he gives me a polite head nod. “Sarah.”

I wave at him.

He turns his attention back to Rox and asks, “What you doing here, Rox? Everything all right?”

“Fine.” She steps up to the door, but Smiter moves into her path, blocking the way with his mammoth body.

“What are you doing? Let me in,” she demands.

“You need something, I’ll let Ax know.”

“I don’t need anything.” She points to me. “Sarah needs to give something to Runner.”

“Well…hand it over. I’ll get it to him.”

“No.
She
needs to give it to him,” she says, her eyes flashing.

Oh God. This is embarrassing.

Smiter looks me over, surprised about me coming here for Zeb, I guess. I came straight from the diner, so I probably look like crap in my blue jeans, sneakers, and my black hoodie that’s zipped up as far as it can go. My hair is a mess, too. It’s in a high ponytail, but loose hair is cascading about my face, all messy. I should’ve gone home to change first, but I got overexcited when I’d called Rox and asked her if she could get Zeb’s phone to him and she’d suggested I come up here to see him and give it to him myself.

“Now ain’t a good time, Rox,” Smiter tells her, his eyes flashing right back at her, trying to communicate something that I don’t get at all.

It looks like Rox doesn’t either as she slams her hands into his chest and pushes him back, into the clubhouse. She holds her hand out to me. “Come on,” she orders.

I take it, because she really isn’t someone you argue with, and she pulls me through the door into the clubhouse.

Oh. My. God.

I vaguely hear Smiter cursing over us forcing our way in and now witnessing the disturbing sight in front of us. I also hear Rox saying something about Ax being a
dead man
.

It’s like an orgy.

Hard-rock music is thundering through the room—some sort of lounge and bar area.

There are loads of bikers dressed in jeans, leather and those leather cuts with their club thing on them. And a lot of them are in various states of undress as well.

As are the
many
women all over them.

Some kneeling in front of them and…doing things I can’t look directly at…as men lounge back on the couches. Not just the couches either. I see something on a pool table that I’ll never be able to erase from my memory. There are couples up against the wall, grinding on each other. Women are standing on tables in their underwear and swaying seductively as some men look on, while others feel them up brazenly.

Yep. One big orgy.

“What is this? A pussy party?” Rox yells at Smiter. “He promised me…not while he was in the clubhouse!”

Before Smiter can get a word out, Rox tells me, “I need to kick my husband’s ass.” She glares at Smiter. “Where is he?”

“His office.”

She gestures for me to follow her, but I stop short when something catches my eye.

My stomach lurches at the sight.

I feel sick.

Oh God.

Zeb is sitting on a stool up at the bar. He’s chugging down a bottle of beer in one hand. And his other…his other is down the leather halter top of the bleached-blonde bimbo standing in front of him. It looks like he’s feeling up her boobs. Her hand is rubbing his boxers that are visible, because his jeans are open. And, if that’s not enough, there’s a blonde supermodel-type behind him with her hands under his white t-shirt, running all over his abs.

“Shit, Sarah. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know this was going on,” Rox says from beside me. “Let’s get out of here,” she urges, reaching for my hand.

All I can do is nod.

As she starts pulling me away, Zeb’s gaze falls on me all of a sudden.

He freezes and his eyes almost pop out of his head.

I don’t get to see any more as Rox tugs on my hand and pulls me away.

As we step out into the courtyard, the fresh night air hits me and I suck in a sharp breath. That’s when I realize I’ve been holding my breath since seeing Zeb getting it on with those two women.

She hurries me towards my car and her bike.

“Sarah!”

I stop and spin around, which breaks Rox’s hold on my hand.

And that’s when I see Zeb limping over to us. I notice that he’s not using his cane. He must’ve healed enough in the last week to be able to walk without it now then. He’s still limping, though. And, as much as what I just saw hurt me, I can’t stop feeling sympathy for him. He looks so vulnerable in his injured state. Urgh. I’m such a pushover.

As he reaches me, I shove my hand out. “Here. You left this…uh…at my place.” I push his phone into his hands, harder and rougher than I intended and he fumbles to take it without dropping it.