Blue Moon (5 page)

That was the Logan I fell in love with in school. I forced myself to look back out the window. “There’s still no Mrs. Logan.”

“No.”

The suddenly awkward silence embraced us until he pulled into a parking lot on the edge of Lake Tahoe. I recognized the spot instantly—we used to hike from here to “our rock” and make out when we were in high school. My gaze snapped to his face. “If we’re here to walk down memory lane, you should just take me back home.”

He killed the engine and met my eyes. “Yes, this was where we kissed for the first time, but I didn’t bring you here to relive it. We’re stopping here because this trail is the easiest hike, and it’s hot today. That’s all.”

I let out a pent up breath. “I’m wound a little tight, I guess.”

We got out and he grabbed a backpack from the bed of the truck. I raised a brow. “You planned ahead?”

With a lop-sided smile, he hooked one strap over his broad shoulder. “If I couldn’t get you to come, I figured I’d eat it either way.”

“Still pretty presumptuous with no guarantee I’d say yes.”

“I like to think of it as optimistic.” He winked and started leading the way before I could respond.

We hiked about a mile before we came to a familiar outcropping of rocks. The top offered a breathtaking view of the lake. It was where we penned the best friend song he serenaded me with earlier in the day. I didn’t say anything. If he could handle this, then I could, too.

I wished I understood what his angle was. He’d had years to contact me, and he never did. If he really still cared, and he’d missed me, it wasn’t like I was in witness protection. Hell, I’d been living about forty-five minutes away from him in Lake Tahoe for a few months without ever crossing paths.

So why this sudden desire to spend time together?

Logan stopped at the base of the rocks. “I’ll stow the pack up top, and then I’ll help you up.”

Even now, I had no idea how Logan made that first jump. Without a rope or a ladder, there was no way I could make it over the first boulder. Once you cleared it, the rest were smaller and manageable, but that first one… Only Logan could make it.

He took three running steps and launched himself into the air. His feet kept running, pushing him the last of the way up the rock until he caught his hands on the top and pulled himself up. From the ground below, I admired how his body had filled out. He’d been fit at seventeen, and most of the guys in high school would have killed for his build, but now, in his twenties, this wasn’t the boy I knew.

This was a very well-built man.

The same man who’d had no problem turning his back on me.

But I could still look. I didn’t have to love him.

He scrambled up the smaller rocks and vanished up top. I turned my attention to the smooth surface of the lake. There were a couple of fishing boats in the distance, but otherwise, we were completely alone.

Normal people were working.

I was working, too, I reminded myself. That’s what this was about. An interview. That’s all.

“Anna?”

I flinched and turned to find Logan lying flat on his stomach at the top of the first large boulder, with his right arm dangling down, hand outstretched.

“I didn’t hear you.”

“Sorry about that.”

I came forward and stretched on my tiptoes to clasp his hand, ignoring the pulse of awareness that warmed my body.

“Ready?” He tightened his hold on my hand.

“Yeah.” I started walking my feet up the face of the boulder, but lost my footing when he pulled me straight up.

One-handed.

I squeaked in surprise, as he rolled back from the edge so I could sit. “How did you…” I stared at his arm. His veins were enlarged with the effort, but otherwise he didn’t look like some kind of steroid body builder. I shook my head. “I’m not that light.”

“I used to pull you up here all the time.”

“Not like that. I always walked myself up. You just hauled me up one-handed.”

He almost smiled. “I’m not in high school anymore.”

“So I’ve noticed.” I chuckled.

At the top of the rocks, he’d laid out a blanket, a couple bottles of water, and two sub sandwiches with a bag of chips. “Nice spread.”

We sat down and he handed me a bottle. “Thanks for coming with me today.” He glanced over at me, his hair blowing across his face, dimming the power of his crystal blue eyes.

“Why are we here exactly? I agreed in the hopes of an interview, but why are
you
here?”

He looked out at the water. A muscle in his cheek clenched. “I wish I had a simple answer.” His gaze shifted to my face. “I screwed everything up. Seventeen and in way over my head. But I’m not a kid anymore, and I’ve regretted letting you go every day. When you told me you hated me and walked out…” He broke eye contact, rubbing his chest. “I couldn’t live the rest of my life knowing that was the last time I saw you.”

My pulse kicked up a notch while I did my best to bottle up my emotions. “I don’t understand what you want from me.”

His calloused fingers brushed the back of my hand. “You don’t owe me anything, but selfishly, I’m aching to kiss you again.”

I retrieved my hand to tuck my hair behind my ear. “That’s not a good idea.”

“I thought it was better than good.”

“The kiss was.” I shook my head. “But it doesn’t change anything.” I cleared my throat. “There are thousands of women who would kiss you in a heartbeat, and you wouldn’t have to work nearly as hard.”

He opened his water bottle, but all his attention was on me. “Your lips are worth it. Trust me on this.”

I burst out laughing, and one of the lines tying my heart safely at port snapped. God, I’d missed his company. But he was still hiding something, even if I couldn’t put my finger on it just yet, and that tempest inside of him nearly took me under last time.

I wasn’t ready to risk it again.

Chapter Seven

Logan

Her laughter was music and hope rolled into one perfect sound. It was also addictive. I wanted to see her smile, to know I made her happy. Over the years, I convinced myself letting her go had been the noble choice. And maybe in the beginning it was.

But now…I had regrets, and if I could go back and change things, I might make different choices.

I was only seventeen when I found out I’d loved my one true mate all along. Neither one of us had ever been in another relationship. I was in no position to marry her back then, or even tell her she was my mate. She didn’t have my werewolf instincts to make her choose one mate for life. She could move on. The way I saw it, the best I could offer her was to step back so she could accept her scholarship and chase her dreams.

“So why don’t you ever tour? You could sell out shows all over the country.”

I took a swallow of my water and handed her the roast beef sandwich. “I’m making enough money without touring.”

She opened her sandwich and started rearranging the meat. I chuckled, grateful to see she still had her food quirk. It made me think the woman I loved might still be reachable through the emotional armor she wore.

Color flushed her cheeks as she glanced up from her sandwich art. “I can’t help it. I like the meat fluffed up and freshly stacked
.
” She finally put the top back on. “Does the rest of your band feel the same way you do?”

I shrugged. “I’m pretty sure they’d like to tour, but they understood my plan when they joined me.”

“Why do you do that?” She took a bite of her sandwich.

“Do what?”

“Keep everyone at a distance.” She set her lunch down, her full attention on me. “Eventually, you even pushed me away. Why?”

That was the one thing I couldn’t explain to a reporter. I didn’t even trust my bandmates with that secret. My shoulders tightened. Maybe this was all a mistake.

Before panic took over, her phone buzzed.

Saved by a text message.

After a few screen touches, she read while I ate. When she laid her phone down, she was grinning. God, I loved her smile.

“Good news?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I have a big story cooking, and my lead just agreed to answer some questions.”

I almost choked. It had to be the Nero story. Shit. “Wow. What’s it about?”

“I’m not sure yet, but I met him at the Goldstone Masquerade in October, and after a few drinks, he mentioned being a government contractor. I’m trying to figure out why they have interest in Lake Tahoe.”

Fuck fuck fuck. I couldn’t let her dig into this, but if I pushed too hard, I could lose her. “Any idea what kind of contracts? Could be dangerous.”

“I’m eager to find out.” She stared at the water. “It’s tough in the information age not to have a digital footprint, but they seem to hide under the internet radar.” She glanced my way. “I’m onto something. I can feel it.”

My pulse raced, my wolf alert and ready to protect his mate. I cleared my throat, forcing my voice to stay even. “You’re not going alone, right?”

She stared at me like I had two heads. “Not that it’s any of your business, but you’re the only interview I’ve ever met at their home.” The corner of her mouth twitched with a hidden smile. “And look where that got me.”

I chuckled. “You
did
kiss me back.”

“Reflexes, that’s all it was. For a second I forgot…”

The way her words died on her lips stabbed my heart, twisting me up inside with regret. She forgot I broke her heart and didn’t have the decency to tell her why. If I could turn back time, I would. I’d do everything differently
.

But I couldn’t. All could do was try to earn another chance, even though I didn’t deserve it.

My voice cracked, but I meant every word. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Anna.”

She stiffened and picked up her sandwich again. “Me, too, but that’s ancient history. We came here for an interview.”

“Maybe
you
did.”

She turned toward me, her dark eyes searching my face. “I can’t do this, Logan.”

“Do what?” I reached over to tuck her hair behind her ear, my fingertips brushing her soft cheek.

“Care about you.”

Shit, I hated seeing the fear and hurt on her face.
I
did that. I swallowed the lump of emotion, my voice barely a whisper. “I made a mistake, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to fix it, if that’s what it takes.”

The afternoon sun sparkled in her eyes. “Why?”

“Because I don’t want to miss another smile, or another sandwich rebuilding. I want to hear about everything I missed in Boston.” I took her hand. “And because the only time I have ever been truly happy was when I had you in my arms.”

She squeezed my hand and pulled away. I wasn’t sure what I expected from my spurt of honesty, but this wasn’t it. Her pulse echoed in my sensitive ears, racing, but I couldn’t ease her pain.

“For years, I dreamed about this moment, when you’d realize your error and rush back to me. You’d apologize, beg for forgiveness, pull me into your arms, and we’d live happily ever after.” Her gaze flicked from the lake to my face. “But I’m not a kid anymore, and neither are you.”

“That was part of the problem. We were too young.”

She shook her head, her arms tight around her middle. “See, that’s the issue. I don’t know what
the problem
was. You never told me. You still haven’t.” She swiped a tear from her cheek. “And no matter how tempting it would be to settle into your arms, how can I? You still won’t tell me why you ran. You hurt me.” Her voice cracked. “I trusted the wrong man with my heart.”

My chest burned with regret. My mate, my childhood best friend, my first and only love, had trusted me with her heart, and I tossed it aside. I’d justified it behind a noble cause, but deep down, I’d been too scared to tell her the truth.

Her boyfriend was a werewolf.

“Are you telling me it’s too late?” My gut twisted while I waited for her answer. She was a human; she didn’t have one mate. She could find someone else. For me, Anna was my one true love. I’d be alone forever. I could sleep around, and even get married, but my heart would never be engaged. An empty life.

And my own fault.

She shrugged and wrapped up what was left of her sandwich. “I didn’t say that.”

My pulse surged. Fucking hope—I couldn’t rein it in.

“Kissing you again…” She dared a look in my direction. “There is definitely still something there, but until you can tell me what happened the day you walked out of my life, I’ll always be looking over my shoulder, knowing you could leave at any time, and I won’t live like that.”

“I will never let you go again. You have my word.”

“Your word means very little to me. You want to prove you never stopped loving me?” She got up and stared down at me. “Start by trusting me with the truth.”

She turned and made her way back down, leaving me behind in stunned silence. What the hell was I supposed to do? I’d fucked things up royally, but I couldn’t tell her I’d found out she was my one true mate and then dumped her. Even if I tried to explain werewolves—and our dangerous enemies—were real, she wouldn’t believe me, and if she did, that would be the news story of her life.

Could I expose everyone for a second chance at love?

“Logan!”

Anna’s shout snapped me back to reality. “Yeah?”

I started snatching up the blanket and water bottles and shoving them into the backpack.

“I can’t make that last jump to the ground.”

Smiling, I hooked the pack over one shoulder and hustled down to find her.

She stood at the edge of the rock face with her hand on her hip. Without makeup, hair tied back, wearing faded jeans and a tank top, she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I wanted to peel off her clothes and explore every inch of her. How had I lived without her for so long?

“Kinda takes away some of the drama out of my exit when I need your help to get down.” She almost smiled.

That hint of a curve to her lips reignited the hope. I grinned. “Your secret is safe with me.”

She rolled her eyes, chuckling. “Doesn’t change what I said.”

“I know.” I walked past her and crawled over the edge, hanging down I released my grip and landed on my feet. “Okay, your turn.”

I held my arms out to catch her. She shook her head. “I still don’t get how you can make that jump and not break your leg.”

“Mom always said I was part monkey.”

She let her legs over the side. “You’re ready?”

I focused on her every move. “I’ve got you. Let go.”

Anna squeaked as she dropped. I caught her with little effort, but I didn’t set her down. “You still trust me.”

“With my life.” She stared into my eyes. “Not with my heart.”

Being this close to her, I had to taste her lips, but unlike our last kiss, I took it slow. My lips brushed hers, gentle and tentative, waiting for her reaction. Unspoken questions lined her eyes. My gaze stayed on her face as I kissed her again.

This time she responded, her teeth catching my lower lip. A growl rumbled in my chest, and she smiled. “I still want you, too.”

Our lips fused together. Hungry, aching, my tongue finding hers. God, she tasted like honey and cinnamon. My Anna. Mine. Her fingers slid into my hair, pulling me closer. I carried her into the shadows of the thick pine trees and held her in one arm while I dropped the backpack and slowly let her feet touch the ground.

She tilted her head, moaning into the kiss. I cupped her ass and pressed her tight against my hips. There was no way she could miss how badly I wanted her, but I didn’t give a shit. I was finished pushing her away. This was my mate.

I moved my other hand up under her tank, groaning as I caressed her hot skin. Her breasts pressed into me as I walked her backward until she had a tree at her back. Breaking the kiss, my lips trailed down her throat.

Her fist tightened in my hair, her breath heaving. “Logan. Wait.”

The passion in her voice fed my desire to take her. While Anna and I had made love as teens, I hadn’t started shifting yet. My wolf had never claimed his mate, and the primal urge to do so now was overwhelming. Her words were clear, but the wolf was too close to the surface.

I kissed my way down her chest.

“Logan. Not here. Logan!”

She tugged my hair, hard. I stumbled back from her, my eyes dilating, my senses on fire. Shit. What was I doing? I rubbed a shaky hand down my face. “I’m sorry. I got carried away.”

Anna came forward, her cheeks flushed with color. “I did, too.” She shook her head. “But if someone found us here, there’d be no shutting down the story, and I don’t want to be plastered all over the internet as Logan Reynolds’s latest play thing.”

“I don’t have play things.”

An uncharacteristically shy smile warmed her lips. “Good.”

I caught her hand, lacing my fingers with hers. She didn’t jerk away. “Thanks for today.”

“Nothing has changed.”

I held up our joined hands. “Liar.”

She laughed, and the devil himself couldn’t have wiped the grin off my face.

“Okay, so maybe I don’t
hate
you anymore.”

“Baby steps. I’m a patient guy.”

…

I pulled into her place and turned off the engine. “Have any plans tonight?”

“I should be writing my amazing interview of reclusive alt rocker, Logan Reynolds, but revealing he can still curl my toes when he kisses me is probably
not
what will cement my reputation as a serious journalist.”

“Toes are nothing. You make the rest of the world cease to exist when you kiss me.”

She blew on her fingernails and buffed them on her shoulder. I let my head fall back, laughing harder than I had in years. She was magic. Such a gift. Somehow I had to make things right.

“Thanks for lunch. I’ve got to work on this other story, but we could meet up later tonight.”

The other story. Nero. My smile faded. “Be careful with that one. If they’re working that hard to stay off the internet, they probably don’t want people to know they’re moving into Lake Tahoe.”

“It’s just an email. I’m not giving out my home address and phone number.” When I didn’t respond, she pulled the door handle. “Pick me up at seven, okay?”

“I’ll be here.”

She slammed the truck and walked to her front door. The natural sway of her hips held my attention. I shifted in my seat. I wanted to do a lot more than watch her.

But I also wanted more than her body, and she made it clear that unless I could explain why I left, her heart was on a shelf.

I was screwed, only not in the way I was fantasizing about.

She opened the door and turned back with a wave. A grin tugged at the corners of my mouth. I hadn’t felt this good in years.

…