Broken Survivor (3 page)

Chapter Three

The old saying, “You don’t realize what you have until it’s gone” is true, and then it becomes too late when you actually appreciate what you had. Emma was greatly missed by many.

The following day, Holly and Chrystal were sitting at Karen’s kitchen table staring at their breakfasts instead of eating when Holly suddenly asked, “Do you want to call Dad?” shocking everyone.

“We probably should.” Chrystal shrugged. “You do it.”

“Uh, okay,” Holly said. He’d moved back to Nova Scotia when he left almost three years before, and they hadn’t seen or spoken to him much since.

“Are you sure?” Sitting across from them, their aunt looked a little stunned.

“He’s the only parent we have left now. Who else is going to take us in? Where will we end up?” Holly cried.

“You could stay here if you want. We have the room and would be glad to have you both,” Karen answered.

“We should still tell him what’s going on.” Chrystal exclaimed. Sure, the best idea was probably to stay with Karen. She was definitely a hell of a lot better than anything their father would offer, but Holly wanted her mother, damn it! She didn’t want to live anywhere else, and she couldn’t bring herself to think about it right then. She suspected her sister felt the same way.

“You both know how I feel about your father.” Their aunt shuddered. She’d made no secret of hating him and blaming him for everything that had happened. He may not have been the one to use the knife, but in her eyes, if he would have manned up and treated their mother with the love and adoration she deserved to begin with, Emma would have never met Clay, and she would have still been here with them.

“But I understand why you need to call him.” She got up, moved to the living room, and returned with her address book. “His number is in here whenever you’re ready.”

Holly took it book before she stood. “We’ll take the phone upstairs and give him a call now.” Karen stood with them and placed a hand to her neck as they left. Calling Christian would open up a whole new can of worms, and despite all of them knowing it, Holly still felt like it was the best thing to do.

“Hello?” The girls’ grandmother greeted as she answered the phone.

“Hi, Grandma, is Dad around?” Holly said.

“I’m sorry, honey, but he’s down the street at his girlfriend’s right now. Can I give him a message for you?”

Holly shook while she held the receiver tightly and felt her heart drop with nerves.
You can do this, you can do this—or not.
“Please, Grandma, I’d leave a message if it wasn’t so important, but we need him right now.” Chrystal rubbed her sister’s back when she started to cry. “I hate to ask, but could you possibly get him and let him know we’re on the phone right now? I’ll wait.”

“Is everything all right, dear?”

“No,” Holly whispered. “Grandma, it’s about Mom. Please…”

“You got it, honey. Hang on, okay?” Her grandmother dropped the receiver on the table before Holly could answer.

“God, Chrys, I’m not sure I can do this.”

“What’s happening?”

“Dad’s down the street with his latest female friend, and Grandma’s gone to get him. Do you think we’re doing the right thing?”

“He’s the only parent we have left, Holly, and he’s got a right to know about Mom.” Her sister looked away and wiped her own wet face. “If you have a hard time with it, just pass the phone to me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Holly, is that you? What’s going on?”

“Hi, Dad.” She cleared her throat and held back a sob. “I’m sorry to bug you.”

“Don’t worry about it. Grandma said it sounded pretty important, and it feels like it’s been forever since we talked, so I rushed right over. How are Chrystal and Mom?”

“This isn’t a social call, Dad, and I don’t know how to tell you, so I’m just going to come out with it, like I’m ripping a Band-Aid, okay?”

“Tell me.”

“Mom’s dead, Dad. Clay killed her last night.”

“Oh my God! No!” Her father’s anguished screech was her undoing.
Well, what do you know? The asshole did have a heart after all…

Her knees buckled, she slid to the floor, and let out a sob, leaving Chrystal to take over. Her world was closing in on her, and it was hard to breathe through the torture of heartache. Life as she knew it would never be the same again, and she began to question whether or not she’d be able to survive it.

The murmurs in the background subsided, and two arms wrapped around her. “Dad said he’s coming back,” her sister whispered. “And in the meantime, you have me. We have each other, always. Mom would want it that way.”

“O-okay.” Holly sniffed, and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her shirt. “I miss her so bad, Chrys, so—so bad.”

“Yeah, me too.”

***

The cozy apartment was packed to the core, the drinks were flowing, and the music had a good beat. Holly’s friends had convinced her to tag along with them for a night out, but even there she wanted to be left alone. She really was trying to have a good time, but it was hard.

“How you doing, sweetie?”

“I’m just peachy, or haven’t you heard?” Holly grimaced, took a big swig of beer, and tried not to tense when Edgar stretched and put his arm around her.

“Yeah, I heard. I’m sorry about your mom.” He gave her arm a little squeeze.

She nodded and tried hard not to cry but failed. “Thanks. Damn it!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” He pulled her closer and wrapped her in a hug.

“I can’t go anywhere anymore without falling apart. Poor Jules is trying to cheer me up by taking me out, and here I am a never-ending emotional disaster. Maybe I should just find her and go home. Karen thinks I’m at her place anyway, and she’d probably have a coronary if she knew where I really was.”

“So who’s gonna tell her?” He shrugged and stepped back to give her some breathing room. “Where is your lovely companion anyway?”

“Ron just swept her away somewhere. Who knows with those two?”

“Okay then, let’s go find her and escape for a while. You with me?” He held out his hand and gave her a wink.

Holly chewed her bottom lip as she looked at him skeptically. “An escape, huh?”
I probably shouldn’t, but I really, really need one right now.
“Sure, I’m game, so let’s do it.”

His smile got wider when she slipped her hand inside of his and he tugged her forward. “Right this way, then.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, turned toward the stairs, and led her up them.

Bodies swayed and jumped to the beat as House of Pain’s “Jump Around” blasted through the speakers, and she envied the carefree spirits of her friends. They were typical teenagers out for a night of sin and fun. She wanted that, craved feeling normal again, so she made an effort to, despite feeling as though she was dying a little inside more and more every single day. Was there help for it? Probably not. Would she get over the guilt she harbored? Not likely anytime soon, but for her friends’ sakes and to get a little sense of her sanity back, she would make an effort, which is why she agreed to come to the party tonight.

“Jules!” Edgar’s voice snapped her back to the present. “Jules!”

Jules looked up and disentangled herself from her boyfriend’s arms, coming straight for them. “Is everything okay?” Her smile faltered, and concern took its place.

“Just peachy.” Holly forced a smile she wasn’t sure they bought and shrugged. “I’m trying,” she added and then tried to perk up. “I’ve agreed to ‘escape’ with Edgar for a while, and we came to see if you’d like to join us.”

“Like I’d let you have fun like that without me.” Jules kissed her cheek and whispered, “Are you sure?” just for her to hear.

Holly chugged back the rest of her beer for some liquid courage and answered, “Absolutely, lead the way.” It wasn’t a normal thing for her to drink or do drugs, but she’d do almost anything to feel better at that point, so it was worth a shot.

In the end, their plans changed slightly, and they left the crowded party for a more private one up the street. The evening had a chill as they walked the two block distance, and Holly shivered a little as they approached the unfamiliar house. “So who lives here anyway?”

“A friend of a friend.” Edgar shrugged and wrapped his arm around her shoulders to bring her closer. “You having second thoughts?” he asked and kissed her forehead as soon as she shook her head in answer.

“Well, then let’s go.” Jules cleared her throat and nudged past them with Ron in tow.

It’s showtime!
Holly thought.

The house was small, and it looked rundown and a little creepy. A few crates lay around a small wooden coffee table as makeshift chairs. The bare walls had cracks in them, and the room was dusty and in need of a good paint job.

“Who do we have here?” A stranger asked.

“This is Jules, Holly, and I’m sure you remember his ugly mug.” Edgar laughed after Ron flipped him the finger. Edgar pulled Holly toward a small red two-seater couch she had failed to see during her initial observation of the living room. Jules and Ron each pulled up a crate and got comfortable beside them. “Ladies, this here is Adam, and he’ll be hooking us up this fine evening.” Edgar pointed toward their new friend and back again.

Adam was tall and a little on the husky side with wide, broad shoulders—a football player type of build, really. He seemed at ease and confident, yet aware and on alert in his surroundings. “Shall I bring out the good stuff, then?” he asked.

“That depends on what the good stuff is.” Holly cleared her throat after speaking up and blushed when Adam eyed her with interest. “I’m not into trying anything hardcore at the moment.”

“I do love the newbies, but I’m pretty sure I have just the stuff you’re looking for—on the house, of course.” Mr. Football chuckled and then winked at her before he walked by.

“Interesting.”

“Relax, Hol, that just means he’s hoping to see you again,” Edgar said, and she tried not to fidget.

About four joints later, the room spun a little. She felt light-headed and didn’t have a care in the world. Her eyes stung, and she blinked a few times, hoping it would help lubricate them against the thick smoke in the room.
Holy shit!
She started to giggle. “I am so messed up right now.”

“What else is new?” Jules laughed and awkwardly stumbled into Holly’s lap. “Here, have some more.” She took another toke and then passed the joint over.

“Thanks, babe, now get your bony butt off me.”

“Is it just me or did anyone else think that was hot?” Ron licked his lips and watched his girlfriend crawl back beside him.

“Oh shut up, you pervert, and give me some sugar.”

Holly nearly coughed up a lung after the next round and gave Edgar a turn.

“I think I’m really liking these girls.” Adam smirked, watching Jules and Ron making out. Holly sat back in a dreamlike trance. It was surreal.

“Why don’t we roll another one?” Mr. Football suggested.

“I think I’ve had enough.” She waved him off with her hand and stared at her blurry fingers. “I am so totally screwed right now. I’m seeing triple.”

“I guess she’s out.” Edgar shrugged. “Last one for me, and then we’ll have to take care of our girls.” He leaned toward her and put his arm around her shoulders. “So I’m curious to know if this outing has worked out for you or not.”

“I think so.” She nodded. “I feel like I’m dreaming, but I’m not trapped in a bad one like usual. Thanks for helping me even if it’s only until morning.”

“You’re welcome—” Holly cut him off with her lips, and he took advantage of the opportunity by slipping her his tongue. One hand tangled in her hair while the other cupped her breast. It hadn’t lasted long before they jumped apart when someone started banging at the door.

“Who the fuck is it?” Adam bellowed and checked the peephole before opening it. “Oh, it’s you.”

“What took you so long?” The woman sounded irritated and nudged him out of the way so she could come in.

Lydia!
“Oh this is not good.”

“Our party’s now over, guys, let’s go.” Seeing the alarm on Holly’s face Jules jumped up from her crate to leave.

“You’re damn right the party is over. What the hell are you doing here?” Her mother’s old friend and the neighborhood screw-up grabbed Holly by the arm and shook her.

“Oh, don’t be a hypocrite, Lydia. I’m here for the same reason you are.”

“Oh and you want to turn out like me, is that it?”

Oh hell no!

“Hey, man, back off.” Adam forced Lydia to let go and didn’t look very impressed. “How much do you want this time?”

Holly didn’t bother to stick around long enough to hear any more. Their party moved yet again, and they ended up back at Ron’s to eat pizza and pass out. Seeing her mother’s so-called friend was something Holly would worry about later. In the meantime, she tried to enjoy the rest of her night being carefree. All her problems would still be there in the morning.