Burn (6 page)

July 5
^th
,

This is going to be tougher than I thought. It’s like Gage repels from me the minute I stand beside him. It’s really starting to irritate me, so I let Ellis slobber all over me in order to fill him with regret.

 
I took Ellis on a light drive after. Ellis is like a good little pet, always around when I need him. Too bad I’m not into Ellis. That would make life so much easier in a way, but then, it would suck the fun out of everything too.

I don’t know. I haven’t really ever had my feelings reciprocated. It’s usually me using somebody or somebody using me. I guess you could say I’m unlucky in love. It sort of seems to be this scary theme in my life.

 
Speaking of scary, I told
Lexy
I can’t deal with Michelle anymore. You would have thought I pushed her in a pool of piranhas the way she freaked out. It’s not like losing Logan is going to restructure the landscape of her world. She was never in his league to begin with. So, I told her he was just being nice by hanging out with her. I told her he probably felt sorry for her and couldn’t figure out how to ditch her so he just went with it. That’s when she slapped me. Yes. Let the record show,
Lexy
Bakova
sealed her own fate by whacking me with an open hand in the Oliver’s living room right in front of Gage.

Of course I didn’t retaliate. I have something far more interesting in mind.

After the dust settled, Michelle started to arm wrestle with Logan in the backyard, which by the way evolved to include their entire half clothed bodies. Leave it to Michelle to do something like that right in front of
Lex
.

I took
Lexy
and left. I told her I felt really bad and would do anything to restore our “friendship”. So of course she suggested I help her get Logan back.

You should have seen her, all red with snot dripping down her face, complete with heartbroken tears! I wish I had taken a picture. I’d love to throw darts through her
snot riddled
face any day, or better yet plaster it all over the walls at West. Anyway, she landed right where I wanted her. I made her promise she’d teach me how to bind
Fems
without lifting a finger. And she pinky swore she’d do it.
 

I can’t believe
Lexy
knows about
Fems
—about
binding
Fems
, which I didn’t even know was possible. That must mean
Lexy
is one of them—us, whatever. What if she’s
Celestra
like Chloe and I, like Logan? Maybe that’s what attracted her to Logan?

July 6
^th
,

Brushed my teeth.

July 7
^th
,

Found Ellis and some girl from East in a closet at his party tonight. It actually bothered me to see him with someone else. Isn’t that weird? I totally thought I didn’t care about him.
Funny how life surprises you that way.
I told him, if he didn’t hook up with her, I’d have a treat for him later. He totally thought it was light driving, which I think is quickly becoming one of his many addictions. Anyway, I gave him instructions on how to come through the room in my attic and let himself into my bedroom. I padlocked the door like a Fem was on the other side and let him have his way with me for hours.

 
I still can’t believe I did it. It feels strange knowing I’ll never get something like that back, but then again it’s over and I don’t have to think about it. Plus, it was with Ellis Stoner Harrison, which I don’t think really counts. Get it? He’s a Count? He’s really just a twerp.

July 8
^th
,

Totally regret letting Ellis violate my body that way. At the beach today, he panted by my side all day long. When I showed up at Devil’s Peak to hang out, he brought me flowers! It made me want to jump off the cliff.

Obviously sleeping with Ellis has sent the wrong message. Plus, it depressed the hell out of me because no matter how hard I pretended—he didn’t magically morph into Gage. Now I’m probably going to have some Count slash
Celestra
lovechild because I was too freaking stupid to use protection!!! I swear, I never thought I’d be as stupid as
Carly
baby-mama-Foster
.

So I spent the rest of the night blubbering in a corner to Emily. Honestly, she’s like my only one true friend.

July 28
^th
,

OK, so I’ve let Ellis in a bunch more times. After I got my period and stopped jumping up and down like an idiot who just won some sort of ovulation lottery, I decided that being with Ellis could happen again so long as he brought the proper gear.

 
Em
hacked off all her long black hair today! She totally looks like a guy now, but it’s sort of my fault because I encouraged her to do it. That’s what friends are for, right?

Anyway. On the Gage front, I went over to hang out tonight. Ellis went somewhere with his family and plus
Lexy
is out of town, so Michelle practically begged me.

We watched a movie, and after I went outside to hang out by the pool with Gage. We just dipped our feet in the water and sat next to each other real quiet. It was nice. I still wish it were
Gage
coming down through my attic.

August 2
^nd
,

Ms. Richards knows. Oh freaking shit! I want to strangle
Lexy
and her big, fat, stupid, mouth!

So I get to sixth period and she goes all psych teacher
on me and starts asking about my lineage and shit
. Who the heck does
Lexy
think she is letting people in on our secret? Anyway, Ms. Richards invited me over to her house to check something out that belonged to her great, great,
grandmother
, like I’m some sort of extra terrestrial expert all of a sudden. The strangest part is that Ms. Richards believed everything
Lexy
told her. Isn’t that weird? Wouldn’t a normal person just brush off something like that as though it were coming from a whack job? I don’t get it. I really don’t.

I’m tired, and it’s beyond late, but it’s too addicting to stop, so I read through a couple more before turning out the lights. But this is the one that lingers in my mind long after I go to sleep.

August 5
^th
,

So I begged
Lexy
and
Em
to come with me to Ms. Richards house, but they both bailed. Lucky for me we just sat on her porch. She gave me sweet tea and had me look through some old family pictures. She mentioned something about stuff in the safe, but thankfully it was blocked with a bunch of crap, so she couldn’t get to it.

 
Anyway, her great, great, grandmother was a freaky looking version of Ms. Richards, but I swear I’ve seen her somewhere before. Long, red, crazy hair that looked like it was made from copper wires. I bet they put her in the nut house just for looking so bizarre.

In one picture, it was like she was looking straight through me, like she was actually alive and looking at me with her scary bulging eyes. Of course I asked if I could take one of the pictures home, but she said no. So I when she got up to go inside for more tea, I snaked one. Ms. Richards said she was told never to say her great, great grandmother’s name. The one I took was marked in chicken scratch on the back. So, of course I said the name like ten times—too funny.

I carefully peel back the next page and a picture slides out. It’s of a woman standing in an open field with a familiar wild shag of hair and a solemn, haunting expression on her face. I turn it over and see scrawled in rickety handwriting the name—
Ezrina
.
 

Chapter Nine

Friday Night Fight

I’m getting more mileage than I ever imagined from getting my throat slit. On Friday, Gage actually lets me brush my leg up against his and cheat on my Algebra Two test. He was staunchly against the idea just a few weeks ago. You would have thought I had asked him to turn his dog into hamburger, but not this time.

Skyla
.

I look up. It’s Marshall’s voice in the background while Gage is busy processing number nine out of twenty on the chapter test.

I tilt my head at him.

I see you touching Gage.
He raises his brows completely
unamused
.
I’m going to let you slide, but just this once.
He presses his finger to his lips.
I had to hire a cleaning crew to scrub down the house after the near massacre you incurred. I’m glad to see you’re feeling better
. He gives a short-lived smile.
Michelle has been asking a whole slew of questions about you as of late.

Me? I give a puzzled look.

Why don’t you meet me here at four-thirty
? He gives a sly grin.
It would be my pleasure to go over her concerns with you.

No
, I mouth over at him.

Suit yourself. Don’t coming running to me when you receive your next mortal infliction
. He turns towards the blackboard.

Next mortal infliction?

Consider yourself warned.

***

Friday night, Ms. Richards is well aware of my severely sore throat, so she lets me cheer minus the actual cheering, while wearing a white fuzzy scarf that matches my uniform. I don’t dare even think of
Ezrina
when I’m around Ms. Richards. I’m afraid to tell anybody what I read—afraid I might accidentally call her to me with that stupid picture and she might chop off my other arm or my head. Oh my, God, what if it was
Ezrina
who slit my throat? What if just picking up Chloe’s diary was enough to call her? Shit!

The crowd starts to boo. Everyone rises to
their
feet. Something is happening on the field, but I can’t tell what.

“They’re brawling!” Brielle shouts, clapping her hands like this is great news.

The air is smoky, filled with the perpetual dense fog that settles over the island night after night. I see bodies streaming in a steady pile, then slowly they get plucked off of one another until just two are left, both in royal blue and white uniforms—number 12 and 44. Logan and Gage.

I cup my hand up over my mouth.

The coach kicks them both about a dozen times before they roll apart and get up.

They cut death rays at one another before walking in opposite directions. I’m pretty sure this has nothing to with the visiting team, the ball, or the game in general. I feel pretty crappy about the whole thing. I’m going to have to figure out a way to put an end to this, but how?

A light drizzle starts in, and we finish the game, frosted with microscopic droplets of water.