Burning (33 page)

“This could be true,” I admitted. “I cannot know the future.”

He laughed, but it was bitter. “Not even you, huh?”

“No,” I said. “Not even me.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Lala.” His voice sounded anguished.

I tried to be gentle as I said, “But, Ben Stanley, I am not yours to lose.”

I turned and clasped his hands about my waist and let him hold me. He held me so tightly it almost hurt, but I knew this too was temporary and so I did not protest. We watched together as the Man burned, and each of us saw what we saw. Perhaps Ben Stanley saw the fall of his town, the end of his childhood, the edge of a cliff. I cannot know; I am not Ben Stanley.

But I know what I saw. In the burning figure, bright against the black of the night sky, I said goodbye to the life
I would have had. I breathed deeply the smell of heat and gasoline; I opened my heart to all of it—the beauty that awaited me, and also the pain.

I spread my arms wide and imagined I was on fire as well, and the heat from the flames felt as if it could be radiating from my core.

I was Lala White. And I was free.

Maybe some books can be written single-handedly.
Burning
wasn’t one of them. I relied on the expertise of many people to write this book. First, Dr. Anne Sutherland, professor of anthropology—thank you for your guidance and for your careful reading of my book. Richard Taylor, agronomist extraordinaire, the information about gypsum mining and the photos of the mines you provided helped shape some of my favorite scenes in the book. Thank you. I’m also grateful to Robin Wood, who created the tarot deck that inspired the cards Lala uses. And I owe a big thanks to Google—without the modern magic of the Internet, the research for this book would have been much more difficult. Truly, we live in amazing times!

Of course I am so grateful to my wonderful agent, Rubin Pfeffer, whose comments helped shaped the characters’ voices—and who, once again, came up with the title. Rubin, you’re the man. Françoise Bui at Delacorte Press, your enthusiasm for
Burning
thrills me. Thank you for loving my book. Stephanie Moss, I love the cover of
Burning
. Thank you for its beautiful design.

And my family of readers—Nana, Dad, Sasha, Zak, and Mischa—I write for you first of all. Thanks to each of you, especially Sasha; your help in creating the tarot reading was invaluable.

Keith, Max, and Davis … thank you for putting up with my obsession with this book. I know you ate sandwiches and eggs more often than you would have liked while I wrote it. I love you all.

Elana K. Arnold writes curled up in a corner of her couch with a cup of coffee—heavy on the cream and sugar—perched nearby. She finds the words flow more freely if the house isn’t too quiet and if there is the promise of chocolate in the near future. She lives in Long Beach, California, with her husband, two children, and a dozen pets. Literally a dozen of them. Her previous novel is
Sacred
. Visit her at
elanakarnold.com
.