Claiming Crusher: Savage Brothers MC (4 page)

I wrap my hands around the phone, dial Ray’s number and pray I’m doing the right thing.

Dani

Arrival in London, Kentucky

I
’ve not had
much happiness in my life, but the last year I have managed it. Living with Nicole and Ray was the best thing to ever happen to me. They helped me rebuild my life. Ray helped me burn down the house Michael made my prison. Then, with his help and that of the orderly, we got a Jane Doe from the hospital morgue. We made it appear I had been released from the hospital, came home against doctor’s orders, only to perish in a fire. They did it all, I couldn’t help. I was in such bad shape, I couldn’t even walk. I had to finish my recovery in Ray’s tiny apartment while his boyfriend fixed up my new identity. With a camera, some major league hacking and forged documents, Dani Smith was born.

I’m not sure who Dani is just yet. I’m still trying to live up to the image I have of her in my head, but I know she’s loud, outrageous, and unafraid. She will
never
bow down to a man. She will
never
let anyone control her life. She will embrace being a woman, but be the strongest one that ever walked and the only thing Dani and Melinda will ever have in common is their love of Ray and Nic. Regardless of my name, I will always put those two first in
everything
.

That’s the plan, and I live up to it mostly. There are days I forget. Days when parts of Melinda and the fear that helped to destroy her creeps in and I have to fight and push it back. Today is not one of those days. Today I’m driving down the road with my girl Nic, in her Mercedes convertible, the wind in my hair, and feeling like I’m taking another step
into
Dani…at least the Dani I want to be.

I hold my hands up letting the wind flow through my hair and yell out.

“Whoooooooo….”

It’s a fake sound to my ears, but as I look to the side, I notice that Nicole is smiling. So my mission is achieved. If she honestly knew how I felt right now, it would hurt her. I’m excited to be moving with her, but I wish it was out West. I tried to talk her into it, I figure the more mileage between me and Michael the better. Nicole insisted we didn’t have the money to do that. I suggested we use his money. She said no, that I might need it in the future. She didn’t say it, but I knew what she meant. She thought he might find me someday and we would have to run. Just the thought of that causes me to get dizzy, making black spots fill my vision and I want to pass out.
Panic attacks
…I fucking hate them! They kick in without warning and they get such a strong hold on me, it’s hard to breathe.

I look down and see my hands shake.
Shit
. I can’t do this right now. I fight to keep Nic and Ray clueless to the things I deal with. They’ve done enough and seriously, I don’t want their pity. I can’t handle that.

“Hey, I’m thirsty!” I call out to Nic. I’m not. We’re only about fifteen or twenty minutes from the house we’ve rented. Yet, if I don’t get a drink and one of my pills, this panic attack will go from zero to sixty and I’m going to let all my crazy hang out. I can’t do that. I can’t…I won’t.

We’re just thirty minutes away!” She yells back, and you can tell she’s not excited about stopping.

“Big damn deal, let’s get some drinks and chocolate, girl!” I yell back, the music is annoying me and grating on my nerves. Panic attacks and loud noises do not mix, but this song, this speaker thumping sounds like something Dani would want.

Nic flips on her turn signal to get over and takes the upcoming exit.

I wrap a band in my hair, attaching a messy bun at the back of my neck. I need to keep my hands busy and hide the shaking.

“Whatcha’ want, bitch?” I ask, yelling over the music. Ludacris is blasting through the speakers. There’s this pain behind my eyes and the blinding black spots are still floating in my vision. I need to get out of here quick. There are people everywhere and it feels like all of their eyes are on me. Goosebumps skitter across my skin and a blast of cold…
stark cold
fear, chills me to the bone.

“Pepsi, fountain if they have it,” she says back, her attention landing on a bunch of bikers to the side of the parking lot. I nod and try not to run into the gas station. I manage, barely. It is definitely a fast pace, with my head down. I’m counting backwards from a hundred in my head, trying to stave off the attack. My eyes are glued to my feet as I say a number in my mind with each footstep, making them smooth and rhythmic to try and slow my thoughts and heart rate down. I really should have looked up, because I run into a solid steel wall—of muscle.

I look up to see the sexiest man I have ever laid eyes on in my life. Skin tanned and warmed lovingly by the sun, beautiful dark hair scattered in different directions with the wind, a leather biker cut over his chest with a black, sleeveless tank under that and tattoos, lots of tattoos. Praise Jesus, this man has gorgeous ink and he looks like a piece of art. In another life, this man would have made Melinda pray he noticed her. Would he notice Melinda? In her retro-styled dresses and perfectly pulled back pony tail and looking like she belonged on the set of ‘Leave It to Beaver’?

Somehow I doubt it. This guy is a charmer, I can just tell by the look in his eyes. He’s probably been in more pants than he will ever remember. He likes
Dani
. I’m wearing my cut-to-your-ass jean shorts. They look worn and frayed, but I just bought them last week. I have on a hot pink tank that reads,
‘Smooth As Tennessee Whiskey’
, Jimmy Choo stiletto heels that are too fucking tight and silver bangles on one arm that jingle when I walk. My hair is a mess despite pulling it back and my face has no makeup on, save for Dani’s signature red lipstick. Yeah, he likes what he sees. My heart kicks up yet again, whether it’s because the panic attack is getting closer to the point of no return, or the way the man in front of me makes my body tingle—I’m not sure. I shouldn’t like the way he is looking at me, I shouldn’t take pride in it. I find
I do
, and that’s just weird. What would the biker think if he knew I’d rather be home wearing a sweater and sweat pants? What would he think if I did what I really wanted to do with these fuck-me shoes and throw them in the garbage?

He puts his hand on my shoulders to steady me, which wasn’t needed. I might be tall, and these shoes might be dangerous and very conducive to falling, but I’m not going to. Shit, I dance in shoes higher than this. The only thing surprising me at this moment is how tall the man is. He’s taller than me—even in my heels.

His touch sends heat through me and immediately my body coils in fear. I stiffen my back to hide that reaction and do what I trained myself to do when I created Dani,
show no fear and be a badass
.

“You going to let me go so I can get in the store stud, or stand there and eye-fuck me all day?” I ask, full of attitude. I want to cringe, but I ignore the impulse, Dani wouldn’t give a fuck and this is who I am now. So I disregard everything, including the sweat trickling down my back and the wave of nausea in my stomach.

“Sorry, Darlin’, didn’t mean to mow you down,” he says and that country boy accent and good ole’ southern boy charm oozes off of him.

I like it. I like it
too much
. I shake my head, more at myself than at Biker-Cowboy. Then, I move around him. He lets me go and I’m through the door and scanning for the restroom area when his voice stops me again.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?”

For a minute I don’t turn around, instead I close my eyes and try to still the thoughts spinning in my head. I’ve got to get away. I look over my shoulder, but even as I do, I’m aware that part of my mask has slipped. I’m too close to the edge.

“Today, I’m not even sure,” I reply, hating how sad my answer comes out. I push through the store, ignoring the small crowd of people and hunt out the restroom.

Thankfully it’s one of those single restrooms and completely empty. I lock the door and lean against it for a minute. I need to catch my breath. I count quietly and get to fifty before my pulse begins to slow. I reach in the pocket of my jeans and pull out a small pill case. I cup water out of the sink, using it to wash down the pill.

I’m not sure how long I’m in there, but it’s nowhere near as long as I want it to be. I force myself to come out of hiding and get the items that Nicole asked for. When I make it back outside, Nic is talking to one of the bikers. He is definitely delicious eye candy, and very busy looking at my girl. He’s staring at her like she’s an all-night taco bar and he’s the stoner who smoked blunt after blunt and has a serious case of the munchies. Normally, I’d be all for Nic letting her hair down, but this guy screams danger—even more so because he’s starting to look like he’s going to strip and bang her right here in broad daylight against the gas pumps. Time for Dani to move in, divert, make them laugh and get us the hell out of dodge.

“Damn, Nic! When I said I wanted chocolate, you didn’t have to go all out, bitch.” I say it loud and my body instantly wants to crawl away and hide as eyes shift to me. I hate it, but I stay the course. “Hello there, Tall Dark and Do-me-all-over.” The biker pulls his eyes briefly away from Nic and looks me over, but I see the lack of heat when he looks at me. He really is wound up over my girl.
I like that
. If he didn’t have this look that said, I-kill-people-eat-them-for-dinner-and-spit-out-their-bones, I’d even encourage Nic. Trouble is, he
has
that look.

“Dani meet Stud, Stud meet Dani. I popped his cherry while you were in the store,” Nic says walking around to the driver’s side of the car.

The guy I should no longer be thinking about and his crew have been watching it all and laugh loudly. I look over towards them and he isn’t joining in the laughter. He is watching me…
closely
. For a brief space in time, our eyes lock. Everyone and everything fades away. I could get lost in the way he’s looking at me even from across a damned parking lot.
This cannot happen
. I laugh, open the car door, trying to be careful not to hit Nic’s boy toy and get in. He closes my door, but his eyes are zeroed in on Nic. Shit, I can almost feel the heat coming off of him, he is seriously in lust over Nic. I spare a glance at her. As usual, Nic doesn’t see it—she’s oblivious. Her parents have worked her over so much she doesn’t think any man would want her.

The man and Nicole banter back and forth as he leans on my car door. I don’t pay any attention. In my head, I’m still counting backwards. I try to concentrate on the sunshine, the color of my fingernail polish, anything but the panic I can still feel inside. It’s better and subsiding. Still, I wish we could just get out of here.

I feel sparks of awareness flash over my body and look across the parking lot. Cowboy-biker now has his shades on, so I can’t really see if his eyes are still on me, but he’s staring straight at me and my mouth goes dry. I am at war with myself. I want his attention, but at the same time
I don’t
. He screams danger. He chooses that moment to smile. It’s a good smile. It’s a sexy smile.
I hate it
. I shake it off and turn back to Nicole.

I’ve apparently missed their whole conversation because by the time I snap out of the trance the cowboy put me in, the other guy is tapping the hood and walking away.

“Be seeing you soon,” he calls, but Nic drowns him out by cranking our music back up.

The music tenses me up again. I can’t handle it right now…I need to give the pills more time to work their magic. I have it down to a science—relaxation in t-minus ten minutes.

“Who the hell was that?” I ask Nic when we get on the road, turning the music back down.

“I have no idea. Thought he was sexy, but he seemed to be getting his jollies off messing with me while his buddies laughed.”

I don’t say anything, because I didn’t see it that way at all, but she’d be better off if she stayed away from him.

Crusher

I
t’s been a
hell of a day
. There are no other words for it. We’ve been traveling non-stop back from Alabama, after checking on a shipment that was fucked up. We hadn’t got control over it when it was stolen, but the fact that it was reported and intercepted at all, reflects badly on our club. It is unacceptable and Dragon is fit to be tied. I don’t blame him. Hell, as his VP, a lot of the blame is on my shoulders as well. I’m pretty fucking sure we have a narc somewhere in our group, whether from a hanger-on, prospect, or fuck, even a member, I don’t know. Something is going to have to be done and done soon though. That much is clear. The only bright spot of my day so far, is seeing that fuck-me brunette with killer legs, a flawless face, and dark haunted eyes that call to me. I can tell they are haunted and they remind me of a girl from long ago…a girl I can’t ever let go of. All of that combined with those damn shoes she had on, makes me want to slam her against a wall, and fuck her hard enough that I can feel those damn heels dig into my ass with every thrust.

She has a body made for sin and I have the raging cock stand to prove it.
Fuck
. It’s been a good ten minutes since she shot my ass down, and I’m
still
hard. I tried to watch as Dragon hit on the brunette’s friend and it was probably an enjoyable show, but I couldn’t tell you. I was too busy looking at the hot little piece of ass who’s making my dick ache.

Apparently the blonde had the same effect on my brother, because instead of heading straight home to the club, we’re following the two women to a house the club rents. We pull in the driveway behind them.
Shit!
The place looks bad. Irish is in charge of renting it and having it looked after. Apparently, he dropped the ball. I can tell by the look on Dragon’s face he’s not happy. It’s probably a good thing Irish is working at the club and didn’t go with us to Alabama. There’s enough tension between those two lately.

“Nice place, Twinkie,” I hear Dragon say and watch as he climbs off his bike and makes his way to the women. I follow suit a little behind him. I notice Gunner and Freak do the same.