Color Blind (Able to Love) (5 page)

She heard wails coming from inside and raced to the front to unlock the door. Her heart hammered as she moved towards the sound, unsure of what she might see.

She saw the open refrigerator door—correction, the empty, open refrigerator door. With tentative steps, she approached. She closed the door and looked around in shock. The counters were bare. Broken glass was everywhere. In the midst of all that squalor sat Saul—looking lost and scared.

Her feet crunched on the broken glass.

His head swung upwards, “Annie, is that you? How did you know to come?”

Saul spoke as if he didn’t expect an answer, almost as if he really didn’t believe she was there.

“Yes, it’s me. I don’t know why I came. I know from experience how difficult the first night home can be for many patients and I decided to check on you,” she said. Yeah right. She wasn’t crazy enough to share her Jane Eyre moment.

“You’re here? I’ve never been so happy to hear someone’s voice in all my life,” He exaggerated as he reached for her.

Annie’s heart skipped a beat. She bent to cup his hand into hers understanding his need to make human contact. When their hands joined, it felt right. She looked into his unseeing eyes and said, “I’m here.”
And, I’m not going anywhere,
she added to herself.

***

“What’s Saul Sweeterman doing here?” Sari whispered, pointing to the large man asleep on their couch. She slurred his name as if she were referencing a contagious disease.

Annie paused from packing the reusable grocery bag and greeted her friend with a sheepish smile. Sari had just ended her shift. Annie replied, “I gave him his pain meds which knocked him out. Don’t worry, he’s not staying. I just needed to grab my clothes and some food to hold us over until tomorrow.”

Sari put her hands on her hips and looked at Annie as if she were crazy. “Are you listening to yourself? When’s the wedding? Because at the rate you’re going, you two will be married in a month.”

“I know this all seems crazy, but I’m not cuckoo,” she defended. “And he has a girlfriend.”

Saul stirred on the couch, but didn’t awaken. Annie placed a finger over her lips and tilted her head towards her bedroom. Sari nodded and stomped inside.

“I promise you that I’m in my right mind,” Annie began again, “But, I’m going with the flow and helping someone in need.”

“He’s rich and wants for nothing in this world. What could he possibly need?”

“A friend,” Annie supplied. “He needs one of those.”

Sari grunted. She marched over to the nightstand to get a post-it note and a pen. “Write the address here and all of his phone numbers. I want to be sure that if my black friend goes missing, I know where to send the police.”

Annie popped her hand over her mouth before saying, “Oh my goodness, what do you think he’s going to do to me? I assure you, I’m safe with him. ”

“I watch
Criminal Minds
… I’m just saying be careful. It’s always the handsome ones.” When she pulled out her cell phone and left the room, Annie trailed behind.

She watched with something akin to horror as Sari snapped a few pictures of him before shoving her phone in her pocket. She patted her pants, “Evidence.”

Annie chuckled at her friend’s paranoia. “Whatever.” She couldn’t expect Sari to understand something she herself didn’t understand. Her attraction to Saul Sweeterman had been unexpected, but…oddly welcomed. She was glad that she found Saul when she had. After she’d helped him to the restroom, Annie cleaned up the mess in the kitchen. He had been so vulnerable and clung to her. She used that opportunity to pray for him.

Annie was glad that Saul finally listened to her and would be consulting with a vision teacher. He needed to learn how to adapt to living without his sight. She sighed. What he really needed was a psychiatrist—and God.

Her eyes gravitated towards his sleeping frame. Though he’d been grateful for her prayers, Annie’s heart flip-flopped when he asked, “What does God want with me?”

How she wished she’d used the moment to minister to him. Instead, overcome with emotion, she’d done nothing, but hold him. “I’ll do better, Lord. Next time I get the chance, I’ll share more of You,” she whispered.

Her next time was sooner than she anticipated.

It was Wednesday night, two days since she’d taken on her live-in assignment. Annie felt at peace in Saul’s home. He’d moved into the bedroom downstairs and had offered her his master suite.

“I can’t take your room,” she protested.

“I insist,” Saul returned. “It’s the best room in the house. You’ll love the view of the water.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll move into one of the other two rooms upstairs. You mentioned a girlfriend. I can’t see any woman being okay with that.”

“Don’t worry about my girlfriend. The room is yours to use. She caught a bad bug. I’ll explain when she gets here, tomorrow.”

She switched subjects. “The vision teacher is coming tomorrow to work with you and then we’ll have our session.”

He nodded. Annie heard him clear his throat. “I never thanked you for the other night, for being there. I don’t know how you knew to come, but I would’ve fallen apart if it weren’t for you.”

Annie appreciated his sincere words. “I would’ve done it for anyone,” she demurred, knowing she wasn’t being honest with herself. She excused herself and retreated to her room after that.

She settled into the silk sheets and couldn’t help stirring at the thought of Saul Sweeterman lying here. Her senses awakened. She was a woman with needs and it’d been awhile. She exhaled. “Lord, keep me true and my actions pure.” She inhaled his woodsy scent that lingered in the air. This wasn’t a good idea. Sari was right. Why had she moved in with him?

He looked like a Greek Adonis. Attraction between a man and woman was powerful. Would she be able to resist his charms? She groaned. This was torture. Images of him in this bed, in his shower, touching where she touched plagued her mind.

“Ugh,” she jumped up. “I can’t sleep.” She turned the television on but with all the channels, nothing captured her interest. Her mind was filled with the blue-eyed hottie downstairs.

Giving into impulse, she donned a robe and wandered through the kitchen until she was standing outside his door. She pressed her ear to his door. She heard wails and moans coming through the door. Annie put her hand on the knob to enter before she stopped herself.

She was the hired help. Going into his room was a no-no. There was the big question of what was she doing stalking him outside his bedroom door. She heard another muffled scream and her instincts took over for her.

She was a professional and recognized posttraumatic stress disorder when she heard it. He was reliving the crash.

“No! No!” he screamed.

Decision made, she pushed open his door. She saw a tortured man. Moving on sheer instinct, she grabbed his hand.

Chapter Nine

Why was he standing by his bedroom door afraid to enter the kitchen? Because the woman in there had seen him in too many vulnerable positions, that’s why. He felt like a punk.

But, he wasn’t. He had been asleep. He couldn’t control his dreams, or in this case, his nightmare.

He pressed his ear to the door, listening to Annie puttering around in there. His cast was supposed to come off today. She would be taking him through a new physical therapy regimen today. But, he could do none of that if he didn’t open the door.

Saul opened the door and made his way towards her voice. She had the radio on 91.7FM and was singing along to a Christian song. As he listened to her melodious voice, he wondered what she looked like. He imagined her as a blonde, but she was so peppery that he decided she had to be a redhead. A redhead with green eyes.

“What color’s your hair?” he bellowed upon his entrance. He heard her squeal of surprise and cracked up.

“Where’s your cane?” she asked.

“I didn’t need it,” Saul said dismissively. “Now answer my question, what color’s your hair?”

“It’s various shades of brown.”

“What about your eyes?”

“Dark brown,” she supplied.

So he was wrong on both counts, but he wasn’t disappointed. “You sound beautiful,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” she drawled. “Do you want something to eat?”

He sniffed the air. He smelled eggs and bacon and remembered he hadn’t eaten much the night before.

“Yes, I do. You didn’t have to cook though. I would’ve made do with something.” His stomach growled. There was no pretending she didn’t hear that.

“I didn’t mind, and I don’t think your stomach does, either,” Annie said, walking away from him.

Saul liked listening to her movements as she retrieved plates and shared their food. His heart tripped. It sounded clichéd but his heart warmed at her presence. “Will you read to me? Psalms 91 again.”

“How can I refuse reading you the Bible? Psalms 91 is a powerful piece of scripture because it shows how much God protects us. He was with you during the accident for sure. How many men can say they would be able to walk after a crash like that...”

Saul listened as she rambled on, liking her voice. She had such positivity and promise, which made him feel as if he could do anything.

“I’m going to church this Saturday, and please know, you have an open invite to come with me,” Annie stated.

He didn’t want to hurt her feelings but it had been ages since he’d stepped foot inside a church. The last time he’d gone had been for his wife’s funeral. Nevertheless, he said, “I just might take you up on that.”

“I’m more than happy to have you with me. You would love Pastor Noah Charleston. He is a dynamic preacher and expounds on the word so that even a baby can understand. He’s on television as well.”

Saul smiled. “I’ve never heard him.” If it weren’t for Annie’s enthusiasm about God, he knew he wouldn’t have even entertained the discussion. “Does your pastor do counseling?”

“Yes, he has a degree in mental health counseling. Do you want me to set up an appointment for you?”

“Let me think on it a little,” Saul hedged. He’d take things one step at a time.

“Can we talk about last night?” she asked. He could hear uncertainty in her voice and listened keenly. “It sounded like you were having a bad dream. I didn’t think to knock. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Saul was quick to assure her. “I’m glad you came in and held my hand. It helped. I keep reliving the accident or my fights with my daughter. I can only hope that these will lessen in time.”

All of a sudden, he ached for a human connection. “I know this sounds like an odd request but, can I touch you?” he asked. “I want to know what you look like?”
 “Sure. Without your sight, touching is a good way for you to get to know people.”

He nodded at her professional tone. His senses heightened as she drew closer to him. When she was in proximity, he lifted his hand to tenderly outline her face. Her skin was smooth and soft. Her nose had a slight tilt and her lips—oh, those lips felt full and luscious.

“You’re beautiful.” Saul licked his lips, suddenly wanting to place his over hers. Whoa. Where had that thought come from? Caught off guard, Saul moved his hand as if he’d been burnt.

“Afraid I’ll bite?” she giggled.

Her laughter tickled his senses, and he cracked up. A kitchen towel made its way to his face. Saul’s chest heaved. It’d been awhile since he laughed with such exuberance.

“Well, I must say it feels good to return and hear you laughing. What’s so funny?”

Saul tensed. He knew that voice. He swung towards the voice. “Annie, I’d like you to meet—

Annie gave a squeak. “Macy Masters! Macy Masters is your girlfriend?”

Chapter Ten

Don’t think about her.

Try as she might, it was impossible not to. When Saul mentioned a girlfriend, Annie pictured a beautiful everyday woman—a schoolteacher or a banker, not a supermodel like Macy Masters. Her face was splattered on billboards. She couldn’t compete with that.

Not that she was trying to compete, per se. She sniffed. She didn’t stand a chance so she might as well get any fancy notions out of her head. Saul viewed her as his therapist and nothing more.

Annie grabbed her coat. She needed to take a drive. She called Sari to see if she was available. Unfortunately, Sari had been called in to work.

She wandered into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to see if anything inside there enticed her stomach buds.

“In the mood for a snack?”

Annie jumped and slammed the door with a thud. “I didn’t see you!”

Macy smiled. She was seated at the breakfast bar crunching on a big bowl of Honey-Nut Cheerios. Annie eyed her with fascination.

“Don’t let the tabloids fool you. Many of us do eat and we eat healthy,” Macy said.

Annie shook her head. “I wasn’t… Well…” She shrugged. “I did believe the stereotype. I would’ve expected you to be eating wheatgrass or tofu.”