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Authors: Philip K. Dick

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BOOK: Counter-Clock World
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5

Love is the end and quiet cessation of the natural
motion of all moving things, beyond which no motion
continues.

—Erigena

At three in the afternoon Officer Tinbane reported to his superior, George Gore.

“Well,” Gore said, leaning back and picking his teeth, meanwhile eyeing Tinbane critically, “did you learn a lot about Ray Roberts?”

“Nothing that changes my mind. He’s a fanatic; he’d do anything to keep his power; and he’s potentially a killer.” He was thinking about the Anarch Peak, but about that he said nothing; that was strictly between him and Lotta Hermes . . . or so he viewed it. In any case it was a complex problem. He would play it by ear.

Gore said, “A modern Malcolm X. Remember reading about him? He preached violence; got violence in return. Like the Bible says.” He continued to scrutinize Tinbane. “Want my theory? I checked into the date that Anarch Peak died, and he’s about due to be reborn. I think Ray Roberts is here because of that. Peak’s rebirth would end Roberts’ political career. I think he’d cheerfully kill Peak—if he could find him in time. If he waits—” Gore made a slicing motion with the side of his hand. “Too late. Once Peak is reestablished he’ll stay that way; he was a canny bastard himself, but without the violence. The critical time will be the week or ten days—whatever it is—between the time Peak is dug up and the time he leaves the hospital. Peak was very ill, the last months of his life; toxemia, I understand. He’ll have to lie in a hospital bed, waiting for that to go away, before he can effectively regain control of Udi.”

“Would it be to Peak’s advantage,” Tinbane said, “if a police team could locate him?”

“Oh yes;
hell
yes. We could protect him, if we dig him up. But if one of those private vitariums gets hold of him—they can’t shield him from assassination; they’re just not equipped for it. For instance, they use regular city hospitals . . . we of course have our own. This, as you know, isn’t the first time this has cropped up, somebody having a vested interest in an old-born individual staying dead. This is simply more public, on a bigger scale.”

Tinbane said thoughtfully, “But on the other hand, owning Anarch Peak, having him to sell, would be a financial asset to a vitarium. Peddled properly, to the right party, he could bring in a medium-sized fortune.” He was thinking what a sale like that would mean to a concern as small as the Flask of Hermes Vitarium; it could stabilize them financially for virtually an indefinite period. Confiscation of Peak by the police would be a disaster to Sebastian Hermes . . . this was, after all, the first, the one, the really great break for Sebastian. In the entire life span of his flea-bag enterprise.

Can I take that away from him? Tinbane asked himself. God, what a thing to do, to take cold, professional advantage of Lotta’s blurting it out there in Appleford’s office.

Of course Appleford might do it, might sell the information to Ray Roberts—at a good price. But he doubted it; Appleford did not strike him as that sort of man.

On the other hand, for the Anarch’s own good—

But if the police seized the Anarch, Sebastian would know how they found out; he would track it, with no difficulty, to Lotta. I must consider that, he realized, in view of any plans I might have in her direction. As regards my relationship—or potential relationship—to her.

Just who am I trying to aid? he asked himself. Sebastian? Or Lotta? Or—myself?

I can blackmail her, he found himself thinking, and was horrified; yet the thought had been clearly there. Simply tell her, when I can manage to get her off alone for a few minutes, that—she has a choice. She can be—

Hell, he thought. That’s terrible! Blackmailing her into becoming my mistress; what kind of person am I?

On the other hand, in the final analysis it didn’t matter what you thought; it was what you did.

What I ought to do, he decided, is talk to some clergyman about this;
somebody’s
got to know how to deal with difficult moral matters.

Father Faine, he thought. I could talk to him.

As soon as he left George Gore’s office he shot off in his squad car for the Flask of Hermes Vitarium.

The frail old wooden building always amused him; it seemed perpetually about to fall, and yet it never had. What a variety of enterprises had been transacted, over the decades, on these faded premises. Before becoming a vitarium, Sebastian had told him, the building had housed a small cheese factory, employing nine girls. And before that, Sebastian believed, it had housed a television-repair establishment.

He landed his squad car, walked through the doorway. There at the typewriter, behind the counter, sat Cheryl Vale, the obliging, thirtyish receptionist and bookkeeper of the firm; at the moment she was on the phone, and so he passed on through the back doorway, into the employees’ portion of the premises. There he found their sole salesman, R.C. Buckley, reading a dog-eared copy of
Playboy,
the eternal salesman’s choice and obsession.

“Hi, Officer,” R.C. greeted him, with a toothy smile. “Out fixing tickets as usual?” He laughed a salesman’s laugh.

Tinbane said, “Is Father Faine here?” He looked around, but did not see him.

“Out with the rest of them,” R.C. said. “They zeroed in on another live one at Cedar Hills Cemetery in San Fernando. Should be back in a half an hour. Want some sogum?” He indicated a nearly full sogum tank, the establishment’s pastime when there was nothing else to do.

“Do you think,” Officer Tinbane said earnestly, seating himself on one of Bob Lindy’s tall workbench stools, “that it’s what you do, or is it what you think? I mean ideas that come to you that you mull over but never put into action . . . do they count, too?”

R.C.’s forehead wrinkled. “I don’t get you.”

“Look at it this way.” Tinbane gestured, trying to convey what he had on his mind; it was difficult, and R.C. was not the person he would have picked. But at least it was better than mulling. “Like what you dream,” he said; a way of conveying it had come to him. “Suppose you’re married. You are, aren’t you?”

“Oh sure, yeah,” R.C. said.

“Okay, so am I. Now, for instance, say you love your wife. I’m assuming you do; I love mine. Now, suppose you have a dream, you dream you’re making out with another woman.”

“What other woman?”

“Any. Just another woman. You’re frankly in bed with her. In your dream, I mean. Okay. Is this a sin?”

“It is,” R.C. decided, “if after you wake up you think back to it, the dream, and you enjoy thinking about it.”

Tinbane continued, “Okay, suppose the idea comes into your head as to how you could hurt another person, take advantage of him; and you don’t do it, naturally, because he’s your friend, you see what I mean? I mean, you don’t do that to someone you like; that’s axiomatic. But isn’t there something wrong if you have the idea, just the idea?”

“You’ve got the wrong man to talk to,” R.C. said. “Wait until Father Faine gets back; ask him.”

“Yeah, but you’re here and he’s not.” And he felt the urgency of the problem; it probed at him, making him move and talk, forcing him to follow—not his own logic—but its logic.

“Everybody,” R.C. said, “has hostile impulses, toward everybody, at some time or another. Like sometimes I feel like taking a swing at Seb, or more often Bob Lindy; Lindy really gets my goat. And then even sometimes—” R.C. lowered his voice. “You know, Seb’s wife, Lotta; she comes in here a lot of times. Not for any reason but just to—you know; sort of hang around and talk. She’s sweet, but goddam it, sometimes she drives me nuts. Sometimes she can be a real pest.”

Tinbane said, “She’s nice.”

“Sure she’s nice. They don’t come any nicer. But isn’t that the point you were trying to make? Okay; a nice person like that and I feel like bouncing an ashtray off her head because she’s so—” He gesticulated. “Dependent. Hanging on Seb all the time. And he’s so goddam much older than her. And with this anti-time, this Hobart Phase, she’s getting younger and younger; pretty soon she’ll be a teenager and then she’ll be in grammar school, and about the time he’s back to his prime of say around my age she’ll be a baby. A baby!” He stared at Officer Tinbane.

“That’s a point,” Tinbane conceded.

“She was older, of course, when he married her. More mature. You didn’t know her then; you weren’t on this beat. She was full-grown, fully like a real woman; hell, she was a real woman. But now—” He shrugged. “You can see what that damn Hobart Phase does.”

Tinbane said, “Are you sure? I think you had to be already dead and be reborn to get younger.”

“Christ,” R.C. said, “don’t you understand anti-time at all? Listen; I knew her. She was older,
I
was older; we all were. I think—you know what I think? You’ve got a mental block against facing it, because you’re young now, too young, in fact;
you, too, can’t afford to get any younger.
You can’t be a cop if you do.”

“You’re full of food.” He felt terrific anger, swift and terrible. “Maybe anti-time affects you a little if you haven’t died, maybe sort of stabilizing you, but it’s not like the deaders. Like Seb was. Sure, I admit he’s growing younger, but not Lotta. I’ve known her for—” He calculated mentally. “Almost a year. She’s matured.”

An aircar landed on the roof above them; down the stairs came Bob Lindy, Sebastian Hermes, and Father Faine. “A good job,” Sebastian said, seeing Officer Tinbane. “By Dr. Sign. He’s with him—the old-born—at Citizens’ Emergency.” He sighed. “I’m beat.” Seating himself on a cane-bottomed chair he picked a cigaret butt from a nearby ashtray, lit it, and began puffing smoke into it. “Well, Joe Tinbane; what’s the good word? Any new unkillings?” He laughed; they all did.

Tinbane said, “I wanted to talk to Father Faine about a— religious matter. Personal.” To Father Faine he said, “Can you come out with me to the squad car so we can sit and I can consult you?”

“Yes indeed,” Father Faine said; he followed Tinbane back into the front room of the establishment, past Cheryl Vale, who was still talking on the phone, and out where Tinbane had parked the squad car.

For a moment they sat in silence. Then Father Faine said, “Does it have to do with adultery?” Like Seb he, too, was undoubtedly slightly psionic.

“Hell no,” Tinbane said. “It has to do with certain thoughts I’ve had, not like any I ever had before. You see—there’s this situation I can profit from. But at someone else’s expense. Now, whose good should come first? If theirs, then why? Why not mine? I’m a person, too. I don’t get it.” He lapsed into brooding stillness again. “Okay, so it does have to do with a woman, but the adultery part isn’t the part I’m talking about; it’s about hurting her, this girl. I’ve got a hold over her where I think—I just think; I don’t know—I could make her go to bed with me.” He wondered if Father Faine’s mild telepathic ability would enable him to distinguish the image of Lotta Hermes; he hoped to hell not . . . but then of course the pastor was pledged to silence. Still, it would be awkward.

“Do you love her?” Father Faine asked.

That stopped him. Cold. “Yes,” he said finally. It was true; he did. It had never entered his conscious thoughts, but there it was. So this was the spur goading him; from this came the baffling thought processes.

“Is she married?”

“No,” he said. Just to play it safe.

Father Faine said presently, “But she doesn’t love you.”

“Oh hell no; she loves her husband.” He realized, then, instantly, what he had said, and how easily Father Faine could decipher why he had said she wasn’t married; he would know it had to be Lotta. “And he’s a good friend of mine,” he said. “I don’t want to hurt him.” But I do really love her, he thought. And that hurts; that’s what’s making me feel the way I do; when you love someone you want to be with her, you want to have her as your wife or girl friend. It’s natural; it’s biologic.

Father Faine said, “Be careful that you don’t tell me the names. I don’t know how much you know about the rite of confession, but it is always obligatory not to mention names.”

“I’m not confessing!” He felt indignation. “I’m just asking for your professional opinion.” Was he confessing—a sin? In a sense, yes; he was asking for help but he was also requesting absolution. Forgiveness for what he had thought, for what he might do; forgiveness for being what he was in essence; this was his essence talking, this part of him that longed for Lotta Hermes and was willing to navigate any difficult series of maneuverings to acquire her, like a salmon flopping and flapping its way against the tidal currents.

“Man,” Father Faine said, “is on the one hand an animal, with animal passions. It’s not our fault, not your fault for having illicit yearnings that transgress God’s moral law.”

“Yes, but I have a higher nature,” he said, bitingly. But it doesn’t get in the way, he thought; that’s not the real conflict.
There really is no part of me rejecting this.

What I want, he realized, is not advice on what is right, or even absolution. I want a blueprint by which this thing can be brought about!

“I can’t help you there,” Father Faine said. Somewhat sadly. Startled, aware of the near-psionic reading of his mind, he said, “You sure can figure out what a person’s thinking.” He wished, now, to terminate the discussion; Father Faine, however, was not ready to let him go: he had, he realized, to pay the price of consulting him.

Father Faine said, “You’re not afraid of doing wrong; you’re afraid of trying to do wrong and failing, and having everyone know. The girl you want, her husband, you’re afraid you’ll fail and there they’ll be, a united front against you, shutting you out.” His tone was critical and upbraiding. “You have, you say, a certain hold over this girl; suppose you make the try and she jumps the wrong way, gets frightened and huddles up to her husband—which isn’t so unnatural—and you’re a—” He gestured. “I think the phrase is, ‘a horse’s mouth.’”

Over the radio of the squad car the police announcer babbled briefly to another team in another part of Los Angeles. Tinbane, however, said, “That’s for me; I have to get moving.” He opened the door of the car, and Father Faine got out. “Thanks a lot, Father,” he said, formally and correctly.

BOOK: Counter-Clock World
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