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Authors: Ella Sheridan

Tags: #Erotic Contemporary

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BOOK: Dirty Little Secret
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Alex, on the other hand, had obviously mastered the art of lying with his body. She would have bet her life that the intensity of his attraction had moved beyond the physical. That he enjoyed her body had been evidenced by the fact that he could get it up; it took something more to actually interact with interest and emotion and seeming honesty. Heck, he’d missed his calling. An Academy Award-winning performance, no doubt about it.

She splashed more cold water on her face, knowing her makeup could be repaired but the red, puffy eyes would give her away immediately. And the worst part of it all? She wanted to hate him. She needed to hate him, but a small kernel of feeling hidden deep down inside just wouldn’t go away. Was this how women ended up in affairs? She’d never understood it…until now. She had betrayed herself as much as she had Alex’s wife—her instincts, her emotions, her desires, even her integrity were all called into question now. She felt stripped bare, exposed, waiting only for the fall of the whip to flay her soul in punishment for her sins—not by some judgmental outsider, but by the honor she’d thought she possessed.

“I didn’t know,” she whispered, the agony almost more than she could bear.

The door to the bathroom opened. Cailin kept her head down, splashing more water, until the other woman entered the nearest stall. Then she hastily dried her face and hands and repaired her makeup as best she could. Before the woman reappeared, she was walking down the hall toward her office.

Lord help her; what the heck should she do now?

James Allen opened the door to Alex’s inner sanctum as she reentered the outer office. “You too, Brannigan,” he called over his shoulder. “See you next week.” Turning, he closed the door and headed toward her. A quick survey of her body and a slightly lascivious grin were all the acknowledgment Cailin received as the man passed. Not surprising; there were some men for whom women were nothing more than placeholders in the business world. They only truly existed at home, barefoot and pregnant, and the woman who dared step outside that arena could be explained away if the man ignored her or simply viewed her as a sex object. A decidedly old-fashioned belief but one Cailin had encountered much too often in the South. She simply nodded at the man and held the outer door for his departure.

It didn’t take long for Alex to descend. The sound of his door opening three minutes later pushed steel into her cooked-noodle spine.

“Cailin.” Alex turned back into his office, leaving the door ajar, a clear command to follow. Setting down the file she’d instinctively picked up—and giving herself time to take a deep breath—she slowly crossed the office and went inside.

The wall-to-wall windows dominating the back of the room caught her in their spell immediately.
Thank God for vertigo
. She’d never been thankful for her fear of heights until today. In this moment it became the perfect excuse to stop near the door, swallow hard, and struggle to get her bearings. Oh, and avoid looking at the man seated comfortably behind the monstrosity of a desk just in front of those windows. She’d never liked modern decor anyway.

Alex’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Shut the door.”

She jerked her gaze to him. Alex hadn’t looked up from his notes, and the dark fall of his hair obscured his eyes. Turning, she did as he asked before facing him once more.

“Come in, Cailin.”

The tone was firm. Commanding. The sound triggered the memory of him demanding her to climax Saturday night, turning her inside out. She couldn’t afford to think about that now. Emotion would drown her if she let it; she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

When she moved across the room to position herself behind one of the two deep chairs standing sentry before his desk, Alex finally glanced up, dark eyes inscrutable. “Sit.” Impatience was creeping into his tone. “It’s not like I’m going to eat you.”

For one horrified moment, Cailin thought she might burst into hysterical laughter. The pain radiating from her palms as she dug her nails in as deep as they would go staved off the reaction—barely. The chair underneath her was a welcome support.

She hadn’t realized she was looking down at her abused hands until Alex’s sigh drew her attention back to him. “We need to talk.”

Mentally girding her loins, she peeked up from under her lashes and asked, “About?”

“Us.”

“There is no us.”

She could bring herself to talk, but not to look him in the eye. It didn’t matter. His gaze bored a hole into the top of her lowered head anyway. “Semantics,” he growled. “You know what I mean. And would you look at me, for God’s sake?”

She raised her head and stared over his shoulder, trying to blur out both his captivating features and the windows behind him. Was this her punishment? She’d walked out on her marriage, and now she was destroying someone else’s. Sara Beth had seemed sweet, nice—fragile. What would happen if she found out her husband had slept with his executive assistant? Or was Cailin even the first? Maybe she was just one in a long line of women he’d fucked around with. Would that make it better or worse?

“Cailin, I don’t know what to say.”

Bet that didn’t happen often, not to Alex. She couldn’t hold back an incredulous laugh.

“It’s not funny.”

The reins of her control were slipping under the onslaught of emotion. “No, it’s fucking hilarious, Alex. Really.” And now he had her cursing. The
f
word, no less. Another first. She’d had a lot of those with him.

Pain shot through her chest, taking what little breath she could muster with it.

He held up an imperious hand. “Don’t. It won’t change anything. I can’t—”

Can’t what?
Surely he didn’t think… “I wouldn’t even if you could. I’m not that kind of woman, Alex.”

“Not that kind of woman?” Something that looked strangely like pain flashed across his face and then disappeared, buried beneath a rage that had her flinching away from him. His words struck like a lash against her skin. “Exactly what kind of woman are you then, Cailin? You fucked a man you knew absolutely nothing about. You didn’t even know my last name until you walked into the room this morning.”

Tears welled as his hateful words hit their target. He might say they didn’t know each other, but he knew her well enough to know where to strike. And he was right. She was guilty. Back home, she’d be wearing a red
S
for
slut
on her chest; here in Atlanta, she just wore it on her heart.

Yes, she had slept with a man she didn’t know, a married man. It didn’t matter that she’d thought they’d have more time, that when they’d awakened they would share last names and life stories and likes and dislikes. It didn’t matter. She’d done what she’d done.

Like waking up through a fog, Cailin’s mind cleared, the pain drifted away, and she once again embraced the numbness that had protected her last night. This was better, easier. This she could survive. The other—

No, she’d survive that too. She’d proved it already; she would again.

She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing his words hit their mark. Instead she blanked her face, squared her shoulders decisively, and stared him down.
No matter what you’ve done, it doesn’t mean you have to take his crap about it.

“I know what I did, and I know what I won’t do again.” Why would he even want to, anyway, when he had such a beautiful wife in his bed every night?

She mentally slapped a bandage over the part of her that felt like it was bleeding out on the floor. It was time to get out those balls that had gotten her through her divorce, that had gotten her into that little black dress… Jeez, they’d gotten her into this, hadn’t they? She almost fell out of her chair at that realization.

Well, the least they could do was get her out of it. “Look, we’ve got to work together, so it’s—”

“Not necessarily.”

Time stretched out as she struggled to comprehend his words. “What?”

“It might be better for both of us if you were transferred to another office.”

“Transfer?” Was she supposed to be thankful the jerk wasn’t firing her instead? Oh no, he wasn’t pulling that card on her. “You’re the senior vice president, Alex. Since the president is in California, there is no one higher than you here in Atlanta. Any transfer would be, essentially, a demotion.”

She would not give an inch. Did she want to work for him? No. But she wouldn’t accept a cut in rank or pay because he had chosen to deceive her. Besides, she needed this job. She had no family or friends who would acknowledge her to fall back on. The divorce had depleted her savings. She’d already started over once in the last year; she wasn’t about to do it again, even to get away from this whole mess.

If he could play hardball, so could she. She firmed her voice before continuing.

“Alex, I don’t care what you do outside these walls. You’re free to ball the entire female population of Fulton County for all I freaking care. But if you try to remove me from this position, I will make sure everyone in this company knows what you did. Now somehow I don’t think that’s what you want, is it?”

Alex’s face was granite hard, unyielding. “Damn it, no.”

That’s what I thought. Wouldn’t want Mrs. Brannigan having to deal with that
. She shook her head at the venom of that thought. Whether she could actually follow through with the threat, she hoped she’d never know. Cailin didn’t want Sara Beth to have to deal with it either.

And, some tiny, treacherous part of her whispered, you’d still see him, even if he’s not yours.

She closed the thought off and faced Alex with her shoulders squared. “I—”

The door behind her swung open, and Alex snapped, “Yes, Tammy.”

The receptionist ignored his tone and rushed into speech. “Mr. Brannigan, I was trying to reach you, but no one was answering.” She looked at Cailin askance. Great, now she’d earned an
L
for
lazy
to go along with her
S
for
slut
. Lovely. Before long she’d have a whole alphabet to display. “Miller in Development says they’ve got an emergency and he’s fixin’ to pull out what little of his hair is still left if you don’t get down there straightaway.”

Alex grunted. “Where’s Ian?”

“Mr. Walker is out for a personal day.”

Alex nodded. “I’ll go immediately.” When Tammy had departed, he zeroed in on Cailin, branding her with a look. “We’ll finish this when I get back.”

Not if I can help it, she thought as she watched him head out the door.

Chapter Four

“Open up, Cailin!”

She sat leaning her back against her front door, the stained-glass inset just over her head, so she didn’t have to see Alex’s shadow. The close call to make it out of the office before he returned from the meeting had pumped adrenaline into her blood, and now she hid, heart pounding, shocked that he’d followed her home. Why go to all that trouble for a one-night stand—a one-night stand he’d cheated on his wife with, at that?

“Cailin, your car is in the driveway. I know you’re home. Open the door so we can talk.”

Again? No, thank you
. She’d had enough talking today. Enough for several todays, as a matter of fact. A frozen still of his face right before he told her exactly what kind of woman she was had branded itself into her brain.

Yeah, if we don’t talk again, ever, I’ll be perfectly happy, she thought as she pressed the heels of her hands into her eye sockets.

Keep telling yourself that, girlie. Seems there’s more than one liar in this whole scenario. Not to mention, it won’t be easy to manage considering you
are
the man’s executive assistant.

She wrapped her arms around her ducked head and tried to close out the voices, both the one from outside and the one in her head.

“Cailin, I’m sorry, okay? Please open the door.”

He sounded so much like Sean that tears gathered in her eyes. What was it with her and men who just wanted her when it was convenient, then wanted her to disappear?
Open the door. Go away. Do what I tell you. Don’t touch me. I want you. I don’t want you
. She had become a yo-yo on a string, just waiting for the moment it would snap. Praying for it to snap. But instead all she got was the back-and-forth.

No more.

She’d learned the power of silence from an expert; Sean had wielded the weapon like a master, and now it was the only thing that could save her. So she waited.

An actual growl escaped Alex’s mouth as he pounded on the door once more. She could hear the rumble through the solid wood and glass that shook against her back. Could he see her shadow? Did he know how close she was to him? How close she was to caving?

She squeezed her eyelids shut tight. That’s what she hated more than anything: the traitorous part of her that remembered his touch, his breath, his words. The part that wanted desperately to say to heck with his marriage, his wife, everything, just let him love her, and if he couldn’t love her, touch would be enough. This terrible, painful, ugly part of her she’d never known existed had sprouted like Jack’s bean stalk overnight—or in an afternoon—and nothing she’d tried so far had cut it completely down.

But she’d manage. Time would do the job.
I am not an adulteress
. She would not hurt Sara Beth Brannigan that way. She stiffened her muscles and her resolve.

Alex could go to hell.

The sound of something solid bumping the glass above her head had her jerking to look. The imprint of Alex’s forehead rolling back and forth arrested her breathing. His words were low, lost. “Talk to me, Cailin.”

No. God, no.

As she watched, Alex turned and put his back to the door, sliding down to mirror her earlier position. His head was just visible above the bottom of the glass, and she could see he’d turned to the side so part of his face rested against a yellow rose. His words came through the door clearly.

“I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you this morning. I am, I swear. I was…angry. I lashed out at you when it was really the situation I was mad at.”

Me too. But you were still a jerk.

She startled when he seemed to read her thoughts. “I was a jerk. It won’t happen again.”

BOOK: Dirty Little Secret
9.96Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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