Doira'Liim (The Beautiful Whisper of the Goddess Saga) (10 page)

     Arizira speaking of the stream the women of the Esu used for bathing told Talliea that she had been watching their campsite. How many others knew of her people's existence? Was she endangering her clan by refusing to let her curiosity over Arizira die away? A hand on hers brought her out of herself. "Come,
failira
, the way is not far off."

     Talliea allowed herself to be led through the darkness. She did not speak again, nor did she ask what Arizira had called her. Her thoughts were heavy as she moved closer to her camp. Once at the end of the tunnel, Arizira helped her out of the cave and showed her a thin path that would lead her back down among her people.

     "Take heart, Tah-li. All hope is not yet fled from the world." Turning around, Talliea took in Arizira's features. She appeared conflicted. "Will I see you again?" she asked. Arizira smiled. "Is that your heart's wish?"

     A blush, but silence.

     "I will find you, Tah-li, if my world you still desire to see." Talliea nodded and turned to follow the trail with her eyes. It would be easy enough to sneak back into the camp without unwanted eyes gazing upon her. She could tell Markahn and the others that she had been bathing and decided to follow the trail into the woods out of curiosity. They would be slightly upset, but most likely chalk it up to her simply being her.

     "Ari, I--" Turning to where the Arniran had been, Talliea realized that the other woman was gone.  She had disappeared in the night.

                                                       
Chapter 9: Places of Concern

     The following days proved to be trying times for both Talliea and Arizira, though for different reasons. The Arnira began their annual winter preparations: increasing their food supply, mending and re-lining thick and sturdy articles of clothing, sharpening blades and tightening bow strings and such. Many winters Arizira's tribe had seen and each woman knew her part well to ensure the overall survival of the tribe.

     Arizira, with the extra demands her calling required, had been unable to search for Talliea. Each time she'd thought of losing herself in the forest, one of the other hunters had required her aid or the Elders had tasked her with added duties. Many times, she'd thought of Talliea and wondered how things had gone once the other woman had returned to her people.

    Looking down at the heavy blanket in her lap, she smiled. Though she was in no way a outfitter of any ability she did, like most Arnira, know the basics of the skill. It was required learning for all Arniran children. The winter did not play favorites or deal out any grand gestures. One caught out without proper warmth one would soon find an early death for their insolence.

     The blanket she was working on was thick, soft, and made from the hides and fur of two white wolves. She had hunted the pair over the course of several days and followed their movements. Bringing them down with her ashwood bow had been easily accomplished. The others of the tribe had remarked upon her skill and thanked her for the added provisions.

     Arizira planned on presenting the blanket to Talliea. She had noticed the wolf hide cloak the other woman wore from their last meeting, and hoped the wolf was a symbol of some kind. Perhaps Talliea felt an affinity to the animal or thought the wolf a powerful protector? Holding the blanket up to eye level, Arizira checked the seams and ran her hands along the underside to check for even texture. It wasn't anything remarkable, not of old Cynra's skill for sure, but it would provide much needed warmth to Talliea with the approaching winter.

                                                                      *  *  *  *  *  *

     Talliea had followed the westward trail down along the gurgling stream and entered her clan's camp without being noticed. She had made a show of pretending to have been bathing and, once discovered by Markahn and Lao'dahn, confessed to them that she had been exploring the area and gotten away from herself.

     The story had been easily believed by Markahn, who had taken her into his embrace and thanked Esuval for keeping her safe. After scolding her for her carelessness, he had kissed her and walked her back to her dugout. Talliea, upon passing Lao'dahn, had noticed the dark and drawn expression on the young man's face and shivered against Markahn's side.

     Lao'dahn had not believed her tale.

     Nine days passed in a slow and painful turn for Talliea. She was closely watched and her mother set her extra chores to be about. The days bled into one another while her nights were filled with Markahn's hands exploring her body. Though the two of them, by Esu law, could not lay together as a man and a woman until they were joined, Markahn took every opportunity he could to feel her skin and caress her breasts and thighs and show her all the benefits of becoming his mate.

     She hated every minute of it. Markahn was never rough with her. He never touched her directly between her legs or forced himself upon her in too intrusive a manner. He kissed her, and ran his hands along her breasts, and let her feel his arousal against her thighs and with her hands.

     Though she despised the entire act, there was little she could do about it. As a woman, it was not her place to deny a man, especially the man who had claimed her as his mate. So for over a week, Talliea suffered through Markahn's nightly visits and hoped she would eventually learn to enjoy them. Ever her thoughts were cast upon Arizira. She wondered where the other woman was. She wondered if Arizira had ever been touched against her wishes or forced to participate in something that made her feel ill.

     Recalling the few times Arizira had touched her, Talliea wondered how different it might feel to be caressed by a woman instead of a man.

                                                                      *  *  *  *  *  *

     On the tenth night following her return to camp, Talliea was lying in her dwelling lost in her thoughts. Markahn had yet to show up and she found herself grateful that her body was still her own. It was late and sleep was heavy in her eyes. Just as she was about to drift off, thinking Markahn had decided to let her be, firelight suddenly drifted into the room as the oiled hide covering her doorway was yanked open.

     She turned her head, expecting to see Markahn, and was surprised to look into Lao'dahn's smoky eyes. "What are you doing he--" she started, but he was upon her in a flash. He clamped his large hand over her mouth and settled himself across her hips. His free hand grabbed her right arm and slammed it into the ground, effectively pinning her beneath him.

     "Who are you to question my movements?" he spat into her face. She struggled against him and felt hot tears prick the corners of her eyes. "How dare you think you can speak as if you are my equal! You are a woman! Why Markahn insists on putting up with you is beyond my thought. You forget your place, but I will remind you!"

     His words were spoken with barely restrained vehemence. They sparked fear and panic inside Talliea's stomach at a vivid level. She tried to move her left arm, but Lao'dahn leaned forward and the arm keeping her mouth shut cut off her efforts. She felt him become aroused and a new wave of panic washed over her.

     "You think you're so very clever, don't you? We have been aware of your sneaking off into the woods."  Her eyes widened. Did they know about Arizira? "Oh, yes, we've watched you leave many times. Where your feet take you we are unaware."

     Talliea felt a minute bit of her anxiety fade away. The
Lat'sa'val
did not know about Arizira. That at least gave her a small amount of comfort. "Who do you think you are?" Lao'dahn asked. "You are a woman! You are no different than cattle! Your existence is to service us! I've watched Markahn summer after summer wait for you! You!"

     Lao'dahn rocked his hips and she felt his erection push against her. Her stomach twisted itself into deep knots and new tears fell from her eyes. She could not believe what was happening. Lao'dahn could not take her. He would be banished for having relations with her since another man, Markahn, had already clamied her. Unless he challenged Markahn's claim, Lao'dahn was in violation of Esu law. What was he thinking?

     "You're a beautiful woman, Talliea. I'll give you that. It is your mouth that gives you trouble. You use it too often and not in a way that is enjoyable. I won't allow you to continue to defy Esuval. You need to be reminded of your place."

     Talliea continued to struggle against his grip and managed to free Lao'dahn's hand from her mouth. "Y-you can not do this. Markahn will have you banished," she cried, her voice thick. Lao'dahn laughed at her and used the hand that had been covering her mouth to reach down and roughly squeeze her breasts. He rocked his hips against her again in a forceful thrust. "You feel that? That is the power of Esuval, woman. It lives in us. In men!  As a woman, you can not fully appreciate that power, even when we mate with you, but, I'll show you."

     Talliea watched as he reached down to his pants and pulled loose the strings around his waist. "Don't think about calling for help. I will tell Markahn that you came to me. Who do you think he will believe? A whore who can not do as she should or a man of the Light?" Talliea knew he was correct. Everyone in the clan believed that she was a problem for many. Her refusal to join with Markahn summer after summer had branded her a near heretic. None would believe that Lao'dahn, so adored, would have forced himself on her.

     "That's it. You're learning your place," he said, rising up slightly to lower his pants around his thighs. Talliea felt bile rise in her throat when Lao'dahn's erection stood between them. She did not know what he intended, but the powerlessness that she felt was enough to cause her tears. Lao'dahn grabbed his length in his hand and used his other to grasp her around the neck. She struggled to breathe through his tight grip and turned her head to shut her eyes.

     Lao'dahn squeezed her throat tighter. "You will keep your eyes upon me. Do you understand?" he rasped angrily. She swallowed as best she could and nodded. Never in her life had she felt so alone and humiliated. Markahn touching her was bad enough, but he never made her feel like Lao'dahn was. He was trying to strip her of her independence, her dignity. He was forcing himself on her and degrading her just because she had been unfortunate enough to be born a woman.

     For her free thought and free will, she was being punished by a man who sought to teach her her "place." Lao'dahn looked down at her, his hand still grabbing himself, and began to pump his length hard and fast. She watched him rock against her, each movement bringing his erection closer. Each harsh thrust roughly pressed her back into the cold dirt. His hand on her throat kept her from moving away and repulsion flared inside her in a hot wave. Though she'd felt Markahn's erection against her before, she'd never had it so close.

     This was her first time and it sickened her. The thought of Markahn mating with her in their future brought her to new levels of despair as she watched Lao'dahn through watery eyes. Grunts issued from the man's mouth and a sick smile spread across his face. He was rocking against her so hard that her back was scratching along the dirt and rock beneath her bed roll. Pain coupled with her fear. The longer he pumped himself, the harder his grip on her throat became.

     Just as she felt she was going to pass out, Lao'dahn jerked violently on top of her and a hot, thick liquid spread across her chin and neck. Very quickly, that warmth began to cool and become sticky. Lao'dahn sighed contentedly and slipped his pants back up to his hips. "This is Esuval," he said, touching the evidence of his ejaculation. "This brings life into the world. You are only the vessel. You carry our seed. That is all."

     Talliea was horrified. She felt dirty and ugly and used. Even being unsure of exactly what had happened, she still felt that she had just been assaulted. Lao'dahn released his hold from her neck, revealing red prints where his fingers had been, and reached over her to a small basin of water. Grabbing a piece of cloth, he dipped it into the liquid and quickly washed away the evidence of what he'd done.

     Talliea remained unmoving while Lao'dahn roughly cleaned her chin and neck. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and a ball of painful sickness was welling up in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to scream and cry and lash out, but she knew any one of those things would upset Lao'dahn.

      "I have been merciful to you this night," he said tossing the piece of cloth aside and quickly tying his pants. "Esuval guided my actions and it was He that showed you gentleness." Talliea, unable to stop herself, scoffed at him and opened her mouth to speak. Before she could do so, Lao'dahn leaned down against her, shoved his hand between her legs and cupped her sex through her skirts. He brought his mouth against her ear and whispered harshly. "Were it not for Esuval and for the fact that Markahn has claimed you as his, I would have put myself inside you and shown you the full strength and power of our god! I would have driven you into the dirt where you belong, woman! Esuval kept me from doing so, otherwise you would have had difficulty walking. I would have made sure of that!"

     Talliea felt her jaw begin to tremble and fresh tears begged her for release. Lao'dahn rubbed his hand between her legs before sitting back up to look down at her. The feeling of his fingers in so intimate a place was enough for Talliea to wish for death in that moment.

     "Do you accept the mercy of Esuval, Talliea?" Frozen with panic, Talliea was unsure how to respond. Did he really want an answer, or was he only trying to intimidate her farther. Lao'dahn moved his fingers between her legs and painfully pinched her. She went to cry out, but he placed his hand over her mouth again.