Extreme Close-Up (Perspectives Book 1) (3 page)

LISA PULLED AWAY, overriding every desire and instinct to eat him alive, starting with that reckless thumb. She knew Braden had a reputation as a flirt and a tease, but she had always assumed he kept it to age-appropriate girls. No doubt he would be a lot more careful around middle-aged ladies in the future if he knew how close he’d just come to being mauled. She shoved a blonde curl behind her ear and coughed a laugh.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Braden’s smile was mischievous. “I’m not a kid anymore, Ms. Taylor.”

He sounded half serious, and Lisa silently berated her body for its immediate damp response.

“Right. From what I’ve heard of your exploits in high school and college, you’ve got no reason to flirt with the likes of me.” She took their empty bottles and stood, hoping he would get the hint and leave before it became obvious what he was doing to her.

He followed her into the kitchen. “Don’t believe what people say. I didn’t hook up with every girl in school.”

Lisa eyed him skeptically.

“Only the blondes with big brown eyes,” he winked.

She dropped the bottles in a recycle bin under the sink. Luckily, she was already next to the bin, because she would have dropped the bottles, regardless. “Not that it matters what I think, but was that supposed to convince me you’re not a player?” He was so damned sexy and adorable, the only thing she was convinced of was that he had probably nailed every girl in school and some of the teachers, too.

He actually looked embarrassed. “All right, I was kind of a player.
Was
. But I did skew heavily toward brown-eyed blondes.”

“That must’ve been limiting. We’re sort of a rare breed.”

“Yeah, well... I’ve always had a thing for your breed.” He leaned against the counter and flicked his eyes to meet hers. “For you, specifically.”

Lisa blinked, “Uh, what?”

He chuckled. “You must’ve known I had a crush on you. I was so obvious.”

“Nope. I had no clue.” She shuddered to imagine how horribly she’d have fucked up his idyllic memories of that innocent crush if she had acted on her impulses earlier.

“Why’d you think I hung out with Jake so much when I was twelve and he was only like, four? I love the guy, but back then he was just an excuse to spend time here.”

She leaned a hip against the counter by the sink. “It never crossed my mind. Guess you weren’t as transparent as you think.” Most likely, she had been so happy for some time to herself, she never stopped to wonder why the older boy enjoyed Jake’s company so much.

“I always imagined coming by one day, and sweeping you off your feet.”

She smiled. “Aw... that’s cute. Where was Vance in this scenario?”

“He got hit by a bus.” They laughed and he continued, “So, naturally I stopped by to pay my respects.”

“Naturally.”

“Then everyone else left and I stayed to help you put all the casseroles in the fridge.”

“That was very thoughtful of you.” She started to chuckle, but instead almost swallowed her tongue when he closed the distance between them, effectively trapping her against the counter.

“And then I hugged you, like this...” Those well-muscled arms she had privately drooled over skimmed her ribcage and wrapped around her back, pulling her just close enough that her breasts brushed his hard chest. “And kissed your cheek, like this...”

Lisa tightened her hands into fists at her sides, digging her nails into her palms as he pressed soft, warm lips to her cheek... then her jaw... then the sensitive skin behind her ear.

“And I promised to make you forget about that asshole. And you said, ‘I already have.’” His lips brushed her ear, making her shiver. She put her hands against his chest and gently pushed him away.

“That’s how you envisioned sweeping me off my feet when you were
twelve
?”

He flashed a deep-dimpled grin, though his eyes remained dark and predatory. “The fantasy evolved over time. That might’ve been more what I had in mind when I was eighteen.”

She wondered if it was possible to die from “the eye thing,” and she held her breath as his appreciative gaze raked her from head to toe and back again. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she applauded herself for shaving her legs this morning. Unfortunately, as beautiful as he was, and as much as she was dying to enjoy him in ways that were downright illegal in most southern states, there were too many better reasons for that not to happen.

Before she could put the words together to say as much, he slid a big hand behind her neck, licked his lips and pulled her close. “Let me show you what I have in mind at twenty-three.”

Lisa backed off, making sure to get more than an arm’s length from him. “Braden, I’m flattered, but I’m not interested in you that way.”

He casually relaxed against the counter, crossed his arms and gave her a pointed look. “I thought we didn’t bullshit each other.” A small smile softened the words. “I’m not ashamed to admit I want you. Why pretend you don’t feel the same?”

Ignoring the rush of wet lust in her panties, she insisted, “I’m sorry. I’ll admit you’re very attractive, but that doesn’t mean I want you like that.”

“With all due respect, Ms. Taylor, your eyes and your body say you do.”

“Pardon me?” She wouldn’t have responded had she not been so totally caught off-guard by his comment.

“Your pupils are dilated; you’re breathing like you just ran up the stairs; your cheeks are flushed; and...” His own darkened eyes dipped down to her breasts.

She didn’t have to look to know her nipples were hard. And now they tightened even more for him, the traitors. Humiliated, she crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not having this conversation.”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s just your body’s involuntary response to certain stimuli. It’s physiology. Happens to everyone.” Before she could interrupt, he asked, “Do you remember at the lake house once, about ten years ago, I pitched a fit and ruined the whole day?”

“‘
Once
?’”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I know. I was a brat.”

“And what’s that got to do with my wanting to crawl under a rock and die right now?”

“I’m thinking of one tantrum in particular. My dad was giving me shit because I had a hard-on, which, of course was my body’s involuntary response to certain stimuli. It happened a lot back then, and dad never missed an opportunity to call me out on it.”

“Asshole,” she muttered.

“That day, the stimulus occurred when Jake was grabbing at you, trying to get you to pick him up. Your bikini top slipped for a second, and I got my first glimpse of a nipple.”

“Oh god,” She gasped from a mixture of embarrassment and something else.

“Five minutes later, dad caught me starching a sock and decided to be a complete dick about it.”

“I’m sorry,” she winced. “For what it’s worth, though, I appreciate your telling me. Nobody’s ever starched a sock in my honor before.”

He laughed at her. “Yeah they have, trust me.”

Lisa felt her face flush. “Oh. Well, no one else ever told me about it.”

“Maybe no one else has been out of his skull in lust with you for half his life.” He took a deep breath at the same moment Lisa lost all ability to breathe.

“Braden, I’m beyond flattered, but there’s Jake... and everything else. You know this can’t happen.”

His eyes and voice were dark as sin as he inched closer, “I know we’re both adults, both single. I know I’m dying to touch you. I know I can make you feel good.”

“Are you trying to kill me?” she whispered.

“I know I have to see that nipple again, because every one I’ve seen since has paled in comparison.”

That brought Lisa back to Earth -- she could only imagine how many sets of boobs he’d seen since then! She rolled her eyes. “That’s a joke, right?”

“Nope.” He shook his head and pointed at the hardened peak of her left breast. “That, right there, is the nipple that launched a thousand starched socks.” He reached for her hand and she jumped away, ass smacking into the cabinet door. With a wry grin, he added, “And now, I’m gonna go home and starch one more.”

He placed a chaste kiss on her palm and folded her fingers over it. Then he took the knuckle of her thumb into his hot mouth and released it after a brief but glorious assault by his teeth and tongue. “Make that two more” he rasped.

Lisa sagged against the counter. “You are. You’re trying to kill me.”

Braden adjusted himself. “The feeling’s mutual, Ms. Taylor,” he said with a tight smile.

TWENTY MINUTES AFTER Braden left, Lisa was still sitting with her back against the front door. Her dazed brain struggled to process the night’s revelations. Every word, look and touch from him made her feel both beautiful and hideous, simultaneously.
How was that possible?

Even if she were tempted -- which she wasn’t! -- she could never go through with it. It would be impossible enough to measure up to girls his age, let alone his blown-out-of-proportion memory of her younger (thinner, firmer) self. Horny as she was, she was definitely not a masochist. Her knees cracked when she finally stood up and returned to the living room.

She couldn’t stop thinking about “the slip.” It may have been a decade ago, but the embarrassment was as fresh as if it had happened the moment he told her. She had never been the type to flash for Mardi Gras beads or enter a wet t-shirt contest, so the only men who had ever seen her breasts outside an exam room were Vance and a few previous boyfriends.

As she replaced couch cushions and turned out the lights, the mental movie created when Braden described that long-ago day played over and over in her mind. Her embarrassment ratcheted higher with each loop, causing a strange fight-or-flight type of response: her heart raced, she was short of breath, and there was a throbbing pulse in her clit.

Turning out the lights en route to her bedroom, she was surprised to realize,
you’re turned-on, you sick bitch
. She undressed for bed, knowing she would think of Braden every time she wore those cut-offs in the future. And for a change, she felt not just horny, but
sexy
.

Then she made the unfortunate mistake of glancing in the mirror.

And as with any other train wreck, she couldn’t look away. Her ample breasts (courtesy of her paternal grandmother’s side of the family, despite neighborhood gossip) were succumbing to gravity. Her formerly small waist was now average, at best. And with her rounded ass and hips, she was nothing but a Rubenesque divorcee in a Yoga-butt world. She yanked a huge t-shirt over her head and covered the offensive curves with relief.

It was after eleven, so she climbed into bed and tried to sleep, but it soon became clear it was not gonna happen. Visions of Braden -- both young and less-young -- were doing “the eye thing” in her head.
Fuck it.
She sat up and reached for her laptop.

An hour later, after responding to Jake’s email from baseball camp (he hadn’t mentioned Braden, so neither did she), taking care of the few bills she could afford to pay, and reading two chapters of a novel without retaining a word, she killed the light and hoped she was tired enough to tune out the words and pictures in her head. But of course, she wasn’t. The hottest man she’d ever seen could very well
right now
have his cock in his fist and be thinking sexy things about her.

When had she ever been that tired?

Nobody’s
ever been that tired.

She got comfortable and in the spirit of “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” allowed the images in. Maybe she couldn’t have him in real life, but here in the dark of her own mind she could be what he thought she was. What she wished she were.

Her fingertips became his eyes as they skimmed across her breasts and teased her tight left nipple.
The one he saw
. Her body responded to her conjured version of him with the same damp heat and soul-deep ache she felt when he was there. For the first time since college, she brought herself to orgasm with only her hands and her mind.

The next day, Natalie asked Lisa to meet her for happy hour at the pub near the law office. Lisa found her at their favorite table in the back corner.

“Hey girlie,” Natalie gave her a quick hug.

“Hey yourself. What’s up?”

Natalie smiled as a cute young waitress with a nose ring and a sleeve of colorful tattoos set down a pitcher of beer and filled two icy mugs.

“Enjoy, ladies. Holler if you need anything else.” They thanked her as she rushed off.

Natalie grinned at Lisa and lifted her mug. “To you.”

She tapped her beer to Natalie’s. “For what?”

Natalie slid a check across the table. “For this. Guess what, you’re hired. My dad’s assistant will call you to set it up.”

It wasn’t a life-altering check, but it would certainly chip away at some debt. “I’ll drink to that,” she grinned. “Thanks, Nat. No wonder you’re a lawyer; you’re pretty damned persuasive.”

“Wasn’t me. They loved your work. Actually, if I can hang onto the portfolio a little longer, I think you might sell a few prints.”

Lisa nodded. “Yeah, sure. That’s fine.” She didn’t need the portfolio back right away. Maybe she’d wished she had it last night when Braden was admiring her work, but she wasn’t going to invite him in again.

They drank in thoughtful silence, something Lisa would’ve found unusual if she weren’t the cause of it. She blinked when she realized she had finished her beer.

“Look who’s back.” Nat fixed her eagle eye on Lisa. “Something you want to tell me?”

“Jesus, no.”

“Something I’d
want
you to tell me?”

She grimaced. “Totally.”

“Let’s have it.” Natalie refilled both beers.

Lisa took a deep breath. “Braden came by last night.”

“You boinked him!”

“No, but he wanted to.”

“Yes!”

“No! It’s just-- no. There’s Jake and Vance and Elena... it’s too complicated.”

“Then don’t invite Jake and Vance and Elena.”

Lisa glared at her over her mug. “I’m serious.”

“So am I,” Nat said urgently. “If they’re in your head, they’re in your bed.” Then she snorted, adding, “That wasn’t supposed to rhyme.”

“It’s catchy,” she smiled. “But there’s more to it than that.” Last night, she had masturbated with both present-day Braden and young Brady in mind.
Who would do that?
Something was very wrong with her.

Natalie put her persuasive lawyering skills to work. “For fuck’s sake, just tell me what happened.”

Lisa told her about Braden’s visit and what he said, and Natalie listened quietly until she was done, except for one brief interjection (“Wait. You were blessed with tits like those and you’ve never flashed them? Sorry. Ignore me. Go on.”).

She finally finished talking and signaled the waitress for another round.

Natalie fanned herself. “I understand why you’re conflicted, but it’s not like your families will all be sharing a lake house again anytime soon. You’re single adults who are attracted to each other. Why not enjoy that?”

“Because I
can’t
enjoy it.”

“I saw the guy, Lise,” Natalie smirked. “I don’t think you’d have a choice.”

Lisa shrugged. “Wanna go bowling this weekend?”

“What? You know I hate bowling.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause I suck at it.”

“But there’s this new state-of-the-art bowling alley with a bar and light show.”

“I’m not gonna bowl any better on a nicer lane. And why’d you jump off topic?”

“I didn’t,” Lisa said firmly.

She let Natalie stare her down, while the waitress swapped their empties for a new pitcher and filled two new icy mugs.

As soon as they were alone again, Natalie pounced, “So, what am I to glean from your cryptic bowling analogy? That you think you’re bad at sex?”

Lisa cringed and looked around to be sure no one heard that, although the pub was so loud, she could hardly hear Natalie, herself. “I know I am, yeah.”

“Wild shot in the dark, here... was Vance the kind soul who clued you in on the state of things?”

“He mentioned it, but he wasn’t the only one. Even with previous boyfriends, I’ve never been able to loosen up enough.”

“How so? Are you uncomfortable vocalizing? ‘Cause you know real people don’t usually scream and moan like porn stars.”

There was no getting out of this conversation, Lisa realized with a sigh. She drained her mug and stifled a burp as Nat refilled it. “It’s more the talk happening inside my head that’s the problem.”

This was not a subject Lisa was used to discussing, but she tried to explain. Ever since the first boyfriend who got her shirt off and finagled a hand down her pants, she had always worried about how she looked, smelled, tasted. Every sexual experience was couched in embarrassment for her, so she couldn’t relax. She had no real reason to worry; body odor was never an issue for her, and when she was young her skin was firm over those excessive curves. Through the years her reasons for worrying changed with her body, but the overall effect stayed the same.

“I’m so hyperaware of myself, I can’t be spontaneous. I can’t let go.”

Natalie’s brow wrinkled. “Is that strictly with company? Or alone, too?”

Lisa felt her face redden, and she tried to stifle a grin. “Strictly with company.”

“Ah. You had a go after he left.” She tipped her mug to Lisa and took a swig. “This isn’t my area of expertise, but whatever gets you there when you’re alone, I bet it’d work when you’ve got company, too.”