Fear Me Not (The EVE Chronicles) (22 page)

 And then, a human starts dating a Gutter.

The Winter Ball must have included some serious emotional revelations, because not a week later does the first inter-species couple announce their dating status publicly by holding hands.

I watch the two of them - an Illuminator and a boy from my History class. Their fingers are intertwined, something shy in the way they move down the hall. They look happy, smiles and whispered things passed between them. Glances thrown their way. Half of us are adjusting to the alien sight, and the other half are jealous they didn’t have the guts to do it first.

I watch from the doctor’s office window. It’s my monthly check up. Yulan taps my knee, and it jerks. He scribbles on his clipboard and glances where my gaze rivets.

“It is marvelous, isn’t it? I expected something sooner, but perhaps the cultural differences were a larger leap than I thought.”

“They’re not going to make it.” I shake my head. “Gutters don’t exactly think of us as equals. Anything that’s different humans instantly dislike. They’re gonna have it rough.”

“It is more than worth it.”

“If you say so, doc.”

“Lie down, please.”

I lie on the table. He lifts my shirt and presses his hand to my ribs. I wonder how many of his loyal EVE fan girls are dying to have this same exam.

“Have you been abnormally hungry as of late? Any strange sensations in the scar region?” His gray eyes take my scar in.

“It still hurts sometimes, when I get really angry or sad or something, but that’s normal. No hunger.”

“And you haven’t been in for sickness, or any sort of flu.” He nods, cool fingers pushing on the scar. “You should be fit for travel.”

“Can’t wait,” I say. “To be taken away by creepy monks and made into a weapon.”

Yulan’s eyes grow remorseful, but harden quickly. “Normally, I’d schedule you for a draining of your EVE organ, and the school would then pay half of your promised amount. But I’d rather not risk surgery knowing you’ll leave so soon. So Raine and I will forward the money to your father’s account. You should tell them about the surgery though.”

“So I lie?” I ask.

“Just tell them it’s coming up. It will help keep up appearances.”

There’s a knock on the door. Dakota pokes her head in, and Yulan smiles.

“Ah, do come in, Dakota. Have a seat. I’m nearly finished with Victoria.”

She nods and sits on a chair. Yulan walks to the far end of the office. I sit up and look at her.

“Did you see the couple?” I ask.

“Y-Yeah. Everyone’s talking about it. Taj stopped them in the halls. Took them aside and s-said a few words I couldn’t catch.”

We’re quiet. She sighs.
            “This is exactly what they wanted when they put u-us together. This is how societies m-merge permanently. The French married in-into the Native American culture and dominated it by absorption. V-Various Chinese clans did it all the time. It’s a t-tactic settlers across h-history employed. Love conquers everything, right?”

Yulan ushers me out, giving me just enough time to say goodbye to Dakota.

Who am I kidding? There’ll never be enough time. I’ll be abandoning her, the first human friend I’ve made in a long while. As I mull that depressing thought over, the halls buzz with opinions on the interracial couple.

“She’s way hotter than he is - she could do better,” An EVE sighs.

“I wonder if she asks him what he tastes like?” A giggle at the double entendre.

“It’s sort of gross, isn’t it? When you think about what they really are. Like being with a dinosaur.”

The couple is in the cafeteria. An Adjudicator at the next table over taps the Illuminator-half of the couple on the shoulder and asks her something that has her face lighting up in red.

“Mark! Hey, Mark!” A shouts resounds from my side - a group of EVE boys gathered by the door who call to the human boy-half of the couple. “Does she kiss like a lizard, too?”

“Shut your face,” I growl at him. The circle breaks to look at me.

“Who’s side are you on anyway?” The EVE laughs. “Don’t tell me you’re a Gutter-lover, too. Gonna sleep with ‘em all? Tell me if they have lizard dicks, will ya?”

I stride over, the group scattering and laughing at my attempts to grab the guy’s collar. A hand wraps around my wrist.

“Let it go, Vic.” Raine’s voice comes from behind me. The guy pulls away and joins his friends, and only then does she release my wrist. My fist itches like crazy to hit the smug bastard. I kick a trash can instead, the metal giving a satisfying crunch. Raine’s eyes mist over as she takes in the couple sitting at the table.

“Aren’t they sweet? It’s nice that they can be together in the open like that. I’m a little jealous at how straightforward they are.” She turns to me. “Where were you headed?”

“Gonna call Alisa. Tell her my fake-surgery’s coming up.” I prop my foot against the cafeteria wall. Alisa’s cell rings once, and she picks up.

“Hey!” Her voice is almost ear-piercingly bright. Happy.

“Hi.” I smile. “Is Dad there?”

“Yeah, why? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I just wanted you both to know; my EVE organ is being drained on Saturday.”

“Gross. I mean, a good gross! Definitely good!”

“A good-chunk-of-change gross.” My smile gets bigger. “Tell Dad it’ll be in his bank account soon.”

“Yes ma’am.” I imagine her saluting. I can hear her run into a room. “Dad, Dad!”

A grunt. He’s sleeping between shifts. Alisa shakes him awake.

“Dad, the money! Victoria said it’s coming in. Should I tell her about the house?”

I knit my eyebrows. A mumbled ‘yeah’, and then Alisa comes back on.

“We were gonna save it as a coming-home-for-the-summer surprise, but I don’t think I can! Don’t make me keep it secret, please. I’ll die.”

“Go ahead and say it,” I smile. Her excitement is contagious, no matter how shitty I feel.

“Dad and I picked out a house! It’s kinda small, but there’s open windows and a big kitchen, and a yard. Grass, mostly, but there’s a cherry tree with a swing someone left! The old man said he’d save it for us.”

My heart sinks when I realize I won’t be there to see it. “That’s great.”

“Right? It’s really close to a middle school and a high school. Dad got a raise at the mill, too, so as long as I -”

She cuts off. I can fill in the blanks; as long as she doesn’t have an attack again, we can afford the mortgage.

“Alisa, don’t think like that, okay? You’re too young to be worrying about the money crap.”

“You do it,” She shoots back.

“I’m different, okay? We’ve talked about this. Just hand the phone to Dad, please.”

She makes a grunting noise.

“I love you,” I try.

“Love you,” She grunts again. The phone goes quiet.

“Hey, Vic.” Dad’s groggy voice.

“How much is it?” I ask.

“Vic, you don’t need to -”

“How much, Dad?”

“The owner’s willing to rent it with the option of buying.”

“How much?”

“Fifty thousand is a little more than half of what he’s asking.”

“So my second payment will cover it?”

“I’ll be working, Vic, so it’s not -”

“The money will help, right?”

“Of course, honey, but we’ll put some of that away for your college, too.” He sounds pained. “Look, I never told you how much it means to me, you being there. To us. With all those explosions, you’re risking so much. It must be so scary -”

“I don’t get scared anymore,” I insist. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just glad I have the right genetic stuff to do this.”

I have the right genetic stuff to be a weapon of mass destruction. But I’d seen the papers before, in the apartment mailbox. Rejection letters from countless EVE tests for him. He’d tried to be one, too. If I didn’t get my ‘right genes’ from Dad, then it must have been Gutter-hating Mom. Which is ironic as hell.

“I gotta go,” I start.

“Call me later, dish the grades and the boy gossip, okay?”

I roll my eyes and snort. “There’s nothing to dish, Dad.”

I can hear his smile. “Love you. Stay safe.”

I want to tell him everything when he says that. Safe, warm Dad. Dad who always knows what to do. I could tell him, and I’d feel less like shit for keeping this secret inside. I’ll be ditching them. I’m going to take off without a word and they’ll think I’m dead, or worse, being hurt. The government won’t tell them the truth. It barely even tells the truth to itself.

I resist the urge to blurt it all, and hang up.

The thorns dig only into me, and I let them.

                        ***

A snowstorm blows through the valley, coating everything in a blanket of white. People roll snowmen and throw snowballs. By lunch the novelty has worn off, and all that’s left on the lawn are slushy footprints and deformed, melting monsters with pencil noses.

Thick jacket; on. Rubber boots; on. I wrap a scarf around my neck and pull my jeans up, and go in search of a fresh patch of snow to enjoy. No one bothered going under the tree by the dumpsters where I used to smoke. A big expanse of pure white snow is all mine. I fall back in it, and spread my arms and legs to make an angel.

 “Hey!” A face hovers over me - a girl, hair in a ponytail and nose red with cold. She turns to someone and yells. “She’s over here!”

I dance out the snow in my jeans. Two girls and two boys surround me. EVEs. The girl with the red nose smiles at me.

“I’m Hailey. That’s Nate -” She points to a redhead with gangly arms. He waves. “ - And you know Aiden, right?”

Aiden, who started the fight in the cafeteria. He nods and the other girl – the girl who clung to Shadus at the Winter Ball - waves.

“I’m Serena.”

“I’m Victoria,” I say.

“We know. We thought it was about time we got to know you, right?” Hailey laughs breathlessly.

“She has no idea who we are, Hail.” Nate rolls his eyes and grins at me. “Shadus’ friends. Sorry, Hailey gets enthusiastic and it’s embarrassing.”

“Look, I appreciate the effort,” I start. “But I’m not -”

“You’re kind of hard to get along with,” Nate snorts. “We’ve heard it from Shadus.”

“Yeah.” I fold my arms. “That.”

“What were you doing out here?” Serena smiles.

“Snow angels.” Aiden looks at the ground. “What, are you in kindergarten?”

Serena nudges him sharply. He cradles his ribs. Hailey lies by my imprint, waving her arms and legs to make her own.

“I haven’t done this in forever. Feels kind of nice,” She says.

Aiden picks up a wad of snow and grinds it into Nate’s neck. Nate swears and puts him in a headlock. I step out of the way of the struggle. Serena puts her hand on my arm and smiles.

“Shadus never mentioned how tall you are. I mean, we saw you in the halls and stuff, but seriously! I barely come up to your shoulder.”

“Thanks?” I ease myself from her grip. Aiden rolls his eyes.

“Just because you’re the height of a bedtable, Serena, doesn’t mean everyone else is a giant.”

“Don’t step on her snow angel!” Hailey barks as Aiden stumbles.  

“We should’ve introduced ourselves during Owakess,” Serena sighs. “Sorry! Everything was just so crazy.”

I’m quiet. The whole ‘big group of people’ thing isn’t my style. Serena turns and claps.

“Ah, Shadus! There you are!”

He walks toward us, jacket half-zipped as if he’d come out in a rush, black gloves on his hands. Serena bounds over to him. Hailey sits up and waves. Shadus sees me, and nods.

“Hello. I saw you from the library. What are you doing?”

“Nothing, man.” Nate thumps him on the back as Aiden  mashes a chunk of snow on Shadus’ neck.

“Ah,
sir’ka
!” Shadus jumps, shaking it out of his shirt. “What was that for?”

Aiden shrugs and Nate laughs. “Punishment for being a red-eyed punk?”

“Cut it out, Nate,” Serena snaps.

“I think his eyes are cool,” Hailey chimes.

“They look like something from those old Star Trek shows,” Aiden says.

“I can’t watch those,” Nate groans. “The graphics are fucking horrible. Now this arm,” He pats Shadus’ shoulder. “Is way more realistic.”

“That’s because it
is real
, you stupid shit,” Aiden snipes. Hailey cracks up laughing and falls back in the snow.

“I knew that, numbnuts!” Nate growls. “I was making a metaphonical comparison or whatever.”

Shadus chuckles, low and honest, and looks to me. “Star Trek?”

“Really old TV show about intergalactic space travel and aliens,” I murmur. His smile gets bright.

“So they’re ‘trekking’ across the ‘stars’. I get it.”

“Welcome to the conversation, lizard-boy,” Nate snickers.

“Leave him alone. It’s cute.” Serena smiles.

“It’s cute,” Nate squeaks in mockery. Hailey throws snow at his head.

Shadus’ friends aren’t bad. They’re boisterous. Loud. I’d come for some peace and fresh snow, and they took all that away but I can’t resent them for it. The way they poke fun at Shadus for being an alien is refreshingly insensitive - it’s the same way they tease Aiden for having glasses, or Serena for being short. He’s just another piece in the puzzle of their dynamic. He doesn’t stand out; he’s not special to them. Well, maybe to Serena, with the way she touches his arm all the time, but even that’s comforting to see. A sign that she sees him as a living thing first and alien second.

I stand with Aiden, watching them throw snow.

“My Gutter’s an Illuminator,” He says, adjusting his glasses. “He doesn’t look at me. Refuses to use English, spouts Rahm all the time. I don’t exist to him. I’m food, nothing more. Serena introduced me to Shadus. Didn’t like him at first – he was too much like me. But he tried. He put in real effort, you know? Wouldn’t take no for an answer. Stubborn. Asked too many questions.”

In the distance Shadus holds his arm up to deflect a snowball, and Serena squeals and ducks behind him.   

“If I didn’t know him,” Aiden continues. “I probably would’ve gone through life thinking Gutters were rude assholes who only speak Rahm.”

“A lot of them are,” I point out.

“Some of them are. Some of them used to be, until they came here,” Aiden sighs. “And then they changed. So, despite the fact everything keeps blowing up, maybe, just maybe, this school really does work.”