Finding Dandelion (Dearest #2) (23 page)

But he doesn’t move any closer. He just stares.

“Jax, you’re making me self-conscious.”

He growls. “I don’t see why. You’re fucking perfect. I could eat you for every meal.”

I expect him to crash his lips into mine, but instead, his kiss is soft, tender, making this experience a little less about lust and a little more about emotion. Not to mention a lot more confusing. Lust and sex, I get. Emotions, not so much. Because the last thing I expect from Jax is something more, and yet that’s what’s rolling off him. It’s overwhelming and beautiful and makes me want to share every last bit of myself with him. If he weren’t pressing down on top of me, I might float away from giddiness.

We kiss, long and sweet kisses that meld into each other as he caresses my body and brings me to the brink with just his hands.

“More, Jax.” I hardly know what I’m saying, if I’m even speaking English, but I can’t think straight. I don’t know that I’d be able to breathe properly if breathing weren’t an involuntary action.

He kisses me one more time. “Hold that thought.”

The second his body leaves mine, I’m cold. I close my eyes, shivering, not allowing myself to think about how I look like a Thanksgiving turkey, on display like the main course.

He’s back a second later. “You sure, baby?” he whispers.

I nod furiously and the tension in his face breaks into another grin.

He grabs my hand and pulls me up to sit on the edge of the table before he tears open the foil package. Placing the condom in my hand, he says, “You do it.”

Um. My insides quiver. I’ve never been so turned on in my entire life. I’ve only climaxed with a guy twice and both times were with Jax.

He looks me in the eyes as he licks his lips.

My mind is hazy, a fog. The only thing I know for sure is that I am so lost in this guy, I might never see straight again.

I lower his workout shorts, and the part of him I’m getting to know so intimately greets me. My lips curl into a smile as I run my hands along his smooth, hard skin, enjoying the groan that escapes his lips.

 I’ve never enjoyed giving blow jobs before Jax. I thought it’s just what you do, the way you offer an appetizer before dinner. But last night, I liked it. A lot. And part of me is itching to do it again, and I would except there’s something I want to do more.

I can’t explain what he does to me, how he seems to tap into this side of me I never knew existed, but I love being this carefree, this uninhibited.

Unrolling the condom, I try my best to not let my hands tremble as they travel along his impressive erection. After it’s on, I grip him firmly and stroke down, and he clenches his jaw.

“Careful,” he warns, “or this won’t last long.”

I tilt my head and smirk, loving the idea that I can make him as crazy as he’s making me.

He kisses me, and his mouth is warm and hot, making me melt against the pressure of his hips nestled against mine. Reaching around, he pulls out my ponytail, and my hair falls down my shoulders.

Then he lowers me down, pulls up my knees and braces them at his side.

I brush my hair off my shoulder as he presses against me, just barely. I widen my legs, anticipation clawing in my chest.

My heart is pounding.
We’re finally going to go all the way.

But he stills, his eyes narrowing on me.

The sudden frown on his face makes me reach out and touch his cheek, and he flinches at my touch.

Okay.

“Jax, what’s wrong?”

His head tilts to the side, and he looks me over, but the warmth that had been brimming over in his eyes is gone. He rubs his temple, like he’s deep in thought, his gaze distant.

Trying not to freak out, I grab his forearm, and his jaw tightens.

“Jax?”

He swallows and shakes his head, finally looking at me. He opens his mouth just as the front door slams open.

Voices just a few feet away have me scrambling off the table. Holy shit. I’m buck naked.

I stumble behind Jax who yanks up his shorts.

“Jax, I brought you a gift. Two, actually. Remember Isabelle from this summer? She wants to be your snow bunny and—” Nick comes around the corner, his eyes widening when he sees us. He holds out his hands. “Shit, sorry, dude.”

The sound of girls giggling behind him makes me nauseous. Nick turns around and disappears behind the partition in the entryway. I hear him mumble while I step back from Jax and limp into his bedroom a few feet away. Shutting the door behind me, I feel tears brim in my eyes.

Oh my God. What am I doing?

My hands shake as I cover my face. I nearly had sex with Clementine’s brother on his kitchen table.

And Jax is acting so weird all of a sudden, like we’re strangers, like we haven’t spent the last several days together.

I fight to keep the tears back and take a deep breath, trying to calm the maelstrom of emotions whipping around inside my chest.

Realizing I’m still standing here naked, I reach for my suitcase and throw on a t-shirt and jeans. It takes a while to get the pants on, but I’m hoping the level of difficulty to get clothed helps them stay on longer.

I keep waiting for Jax to walk in so we can talk, but after twenty minutes, my heart sinks. I may not be the best at relationships, but I know enough to realize that him staying out there means something.

After an hour, a fucking hour, he waltzes in, still shirtless. I’m sitting in a leather recliner by the window, trying to look like I’m doing homework.

He barely glances at me as he mumbles that he’s going to take a shower. Another twenty minutes later, he walks out and says he’s taking Isabelle home.

And then he leaves without another glance in my direction.

No. Fucking. Way.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

- Dani -

Even though I’m starving, I don’t poke my head out of Jax’s room until well after two in the afternoon. He’s been gone for hours.

His condo is quiet, so I tiptoe into the kitchen, finding myself in almost the same position I was in this morning. Except this time I know Jax isn’t going to wrap his arms around me.

Fighting the urge to cry, I grab an apple off the counter before I spread out some of my textbooks on the kitchen table.

I hate that I have to sit here at the scene of the crime, but I don’t want to get ink on his bedspread. Ignoring the burn in my cheeks, I reach for my journal and pull out my watercolor markers before I begin to sketch.

Using broad strokes, I draw the first thing that comes to mind: Jax and me together, on the couch, in the shower, on the bed. A tangle of arms and legs, hands urgent and demanding. Nudes aren’t my strength, but I don’t know how to get the images out of my head.

Drawing until my hand hurts, I finally take a break.

I may be able to limp around, but I can’t go home because I’ll never make it up four flights of stairs by myself.

After Jax left, I tried calling seven motels. Everything is booked through the weekend, so unless I want to sleep on the street corner in the middle of a snowstorm, I’m stuck here. My only hope is that Travis will get back early this evening and be able to pick me up. I grab my phone, and my mood gets a little darker when my thumb reveals no new messages.

Jax left with her. We almost had sex, and he left with another woman. Again!

#Unbelievable

My face heats up and my eyes water. I don’t know what happened. One minute he was calling me baby and was sweet and loving, and the next he was making for the door like his life depended on it.

Unless…

The nausea I’ve been fighting all afternoon burns in the back of my throat.

Did he remember his birthday? The club?

Surely that couldn’t have freaked him out so much he took off like an Olympic sprinter. There were so many times this week I almost told him what happened that night, but I’ve been afraid it would change our dynamic. That he’d see me differently. That it would ruin the friendship we’d been building.

A door creaks open from down the hall. Padded steps echo closer.

I turn my head slowly, my heart paralyzed.

Nick stands with his hands in the pockets of his jeans looking uncomfortable. “Hey, Dani. I’m so sorry about what happened earlier.” His big brown eyes are warm, and the sympathy in his expression twists something in my gut.

Grateful he’s not being a jerk, I smile weakly. “It’s totally okay. I’m sorry I have to crash here. I tried calling hotels but—”

“No, you don’t need to leave. I’m cool. My roommate nearly made you roadkill. Putting you up for a few days is the least he can do.” Nick’s eyes dart around the empty apartment. “Where is he anyway?”

A cold laugh escapes me. “Your guess is as good as mine, but I’m guessing it’s somewhere with Isabelle.” My eyes dart down to my journal, my face burning in humiliation.

“Shit.” An awkward silence spreads between us while I doodle circles in my journal. “I’m sorry about that too.”

I shake my head. “Don’t be. It’s not like I’m not well aware of his reputation. I’m the idiot in this equation.”

Nick clears his throat. “Listen, my little sister is coming over in a bit. We were going to order a pizza and catch the Celtics before the BC game. Wanna join us?”

His kindness is too much. I nod slowly. “Who are the Celtics playing?”

“The Heat.”

I look up and give him a small smile. “I’m a huge Celtics fan, but I love Dwayne Wade.”

He laughs. “I’m going to ignore that sacrilege and let you stay in my house.”

The heaviness that bore down on me all day starts to lighten. Two hours later, Nick, his sister Sammy, and I are all yelling at the TV.

“Can you fucking believe that call?” Nick mumbles over a mouth full of food.

“Okay, don’t be a hater,” I say, pausing to look him in the eye, “but Wade was fouled on the way to the basket. I don’t think it should have been a technical, though.”

“Good because I was about to kick you out of my living room.”

I laugh and reach for my soda.

Nick grabs the bowl of
queso
. “This is the best damn dip I’ve ever had.”

Grinning, I hand him the bag. “It’s an easy recipe. I’ll write it down for you so you can make it any time.”

He nods as he continues to stuff his face.

Sammy nudges me. “I like you.”

“Thanks.” I nudge her back. She looks older than eighteen with thick, chestnut-colored hair and beautiful brown eyes like her brother.

She stares at me. “You’re not like one of Jax’s typical girls.”

Trying not to choke on my soda, I laugh. “I’m sure there’s a compliment in there somewhere because I’ve seen the girls Jax dates, and they’re all gorgeous.”

“They’re all bitches. And dumb. He’s an asshole for leaving you.”

My eyes widen.

She shrugs. “My brother told me what happened.”

“Gee, thanks, Nick. I didn’t need to be humiliated any more today or anything.”

He grumbles as he chows down, and I get that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Trying to change the subject, I pick the first thing that comes to mind.

“How was your ski trip?”

Setting the bowl on the coffee table, he turns to me. “It was killer. I have great video of it.” He pulls out his phone, connecting wirelessly to his Apple TV. A moment later, the screen is filled with a GoPro video, making it seem as if I’m living the experience firsthand.

“Wow. This is amazing footage.”

Nick races down the slope, and when he turns his head, the camera shows several guys behind him. I’m guessing they’re all soccer players too like Jax.

“This is nothing,” he says. “Wait until you see the night video.” He cues it up, and I’m completely riveted.

“I had no idea this kind of technology existed to do night footage like this.”

“Jax jerry-rigged it himself. He attached a camera with night vision on the helmet.”

The footage is exhilarating, putting me front and center on the slopes. “So you can’t buy this, the camera and helmet combo?”

Nick shakes his head. “You have to buy them separately and mount the camera.”

Excitement tingles in my chest, a dozen ideas exploding in my head. “Can I see it, the helmet?”

“Sure.” He jumps up and a minute later, he returns with a black ski helmet, which he places in my lap.

My fingers run along the edges of the metal attachment. “But this camera is so small. I thought GoPro cameras were larger.”

“They are. This is a prototype by a different company.”

“This is a great product.” I can imagine a dozen different applications. I’d love to take footage like this, but the idea of having to mount a camera myself or—even once I got it attached—having some huge piece of metal attached on my head is such a turnoff. But this, this has so many possibilities.