Finding Us (Finding #2) (10 page)

Me: At Max’s. Will call you later.

Sarah: You better!

Luckily Max and Becca were home. I was still fuming when I walked in the door. They were expecting me, so I figured Parker called and told them what happened. They had a bottle of wine open, so Becca poured me a glass as I mindlessly listed all of the problems I had been having, starting with Parker. I don’t know how long I talked, but they watched me pace like a caged animal and vent until I had nothing more to say.

When I was finished, I sunk down on their overstuffed micro-suede sectional. I briefly thought it was the most comfortable couch my butt had ever touched as I looked up and caught Max looking at Becca.

“You want to tackle this?” He asked her with a raised eyebrow.

She smiled and shook her head. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

I almost burst into tears but kept it together. He exhaled heavily. I knew I was laying a lot on him, but he was always there for me just like I was always there for him. I still came over every Saturday afternoon, so we could call his mom together. Otherwise she worried because he always forgot to call her. Max was more than my best friend.

“All right. Becca, grab me some pillows and blankets. Maggie, go make popcorn. I’m going to change and set up a movie. Becks, I’ll probably end up sleeping out here tonight.”

He set up pillows in the middle of the sectional, so we could lay head-to-head, while I made popcorn with m&m’s mixed in it. After Becca kissed him goodnight and gave me a hug, we settled on the couch to watch one of our old favorites, The Mighty Ducks.

About the time the team found out how cool it was to be a duck, I admitted the truth I hadn’t wanted to say out loud. “Max, I’m not happy.”

He rolled over so he could look at me. “I know, Mags. Have you talked to Parker about any of that?” He waved towards the middle of the room where I had been pacing earlier.

“He knows. We’ve been fighting a lot, and he knows how hard school has been for me. I may get my first bad grade. I’m really having a hard time with these professors, and it doesn’t matter how much I study. Parker can go play with the band and study half as much as me, and it’s a breeze for him. Law school isn’t just about being smart. You have to always be on your toes and work well under pressure, but for some reason I’m having a hard time handling the pressure of it all.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little too hard on yourself? You used to balance school with sports and still managed to make time for us. Maybe you’re over-studying, and it’s making you panic when they ask you questions.”

“Is it possible to over-study?”

“Knowing you? Yeah.” I shrugged and he turned to look away from me. “So back to Parker,” Max paused and took a drink of his water preparing for his big speech. I could see it coming from a mile away. “You may think he knows, but unless you have a conversation with him about everything going on in that pretty little head of yours, he won’t know everything.”

“I know. It’s hard. Being in a relationship is harder than I thought. We hardly spend any time together aside from studying, and the last thing I want to do is talk about my crazy when I actually have his attention. Besides, I don’t know if I want him to know everything. No one wants a silly, insecure girlfriend.”

“You aren’t crazy, Mags. Insecure, yes, but never crazy. You do realize things are more likely to get better if you talk about it.”

“I
am
talking about it,” I pouted.

He flicked my ear like he did when we were kids. “You know what I mean, you petulant child.”

“Don’t flick me. Did I mention I was the victim of a vicious assault tonight?”

“You may have said something about it…three hundred times.”

“I can’t believe she hit me.”

“I can’t believe you stood up to her.”

I smiled. “It felt pretty great to say what was on my mind.”

“Now if only you could do that with your mom.”

I pulled his hair for that. “Way to ruin a perfectly good moment.”

He laughed and pulled his head out of my reach.

“Thanks for being here, Max. Love you.”

“Always Maggie Anne. Love you, too.”             

“Don’t call me by both names!”

Parker

Maggie never came home after finding Alexis at Pops’ house. I knew where she was and knew she was safe. What I didn’t know was what she was thinking. She was pissed when I left her the first time. When she peeled out of my Pop’s driveway, I knew she was so far beyond pissed that I wasn’t sure we would ever recover. I knew how Maggie’s mind worked. When someone wronged her, she walked away. The only exception had been her mother and now me. I knew she would always need her mother, but I wondered, not for the first time, how much more of my shit she would take before she walked away from me. This was the first time she said she was done, and those words coming from Maggie had my mind reeling all night long.

Finally when the clock hit nine the next morning I drove over to Max’s. He had enough time to comfort her. It was my turn to fix this with
my
girlfriend. I still wished she wouldn’t feel the need to run to another guy every time something was wrong, but Max and Maggie had a special relationship. I learned that the first day I met them and didn’t bother arguing with what they had. She needed him, and that was all I needed to know.

Max opened the door bleary eyed and disheveled. He had stayed up all night with my girl. “Hey,” I said.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

“Come on, Max.”

Instead of responding he looked back inside the apartment briefly before stepping out into the hall with me. “No. You come on, Parker. What were you thinking? I warned you that if you wanted to keep Maggie in your life, you had to keep Alexis away. Did you think I wasn’t serious? Maggie doesn’t often stand up for herself, but she does write people out of her life. Cross her once shame on you, cross her twice, shame on her. You’re walking a thin line, my friend. How many times do you have to hurt her before you get that you are one lucky son of a bitch to have that girl be head over heels in love with you?”

“It was completely innocent, man. She just showed up.”

“What about all of the other stuff? She’s miserable.”

I sighed and rubbed a hand through my hair that was already sticking out everywhere. “I know she is, but I don’t know what to do.”

“Have you tried talking to her?” He asked me with a tone that let me know he thought I was a moron for not thinking of it first.

“No.”
I was a shitty boyfriend
. “I’ve been kind of busy lately. I told you what we’re doing.” Not to mention, I had been too afraid to ask her what she was thinking.

“You might be wasting your time. You won’t have a girlfriend to propose marriage to if you keep this up.”

“Just let me see her,” I requested.

He opened the door. There on the couch in the main room of their apartment was my girl asleep in Max’s t-shirt, which made me want to punch him right then. I refrained and kept my eyes on Maggie’s sleeping back. I couldn’t see her face, but I could picture her with her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted. Every now and then Maggie hummed in her sleep, and I could almost hear her even though I knew I was imagining it. I would only be able to really hear her hum if I was right next to her.

I felt a pain in my chest thinking about the possibility of losing her. Max was right. How many times would she come back to me after I hurt her?

“Just tell her to call me when she wakes up. Better yet, tell her to come home.”

“Sure, man.”

I backed out of the doorway and headed home to wait. I prepared her favorite breakfast then threw it out when she didn’t come home. I paced the kitchen then paced the family room. I tried to study but no such luck there. I tried to play the guitar but couldn’t focus long enough to even get a song out. I checked my phone at least a thousand times, but nothing. I hated waiting. Patience had never been my strong suit.

I was about to go back over to Max’s when my phone rang. I ran across the room like my life depended on the call only to find it was Alexis. I was about to send it to voicemail when I decided to give into my anger and let her have it.

“What the fuck do you want? I told you not to come over. I told you to stay away from me and her, and the one time you don’t listen, you slap Maggie across the face.”

“I know!” She sobbed. “I’m so sorry. I was just calling to apologize. I swear I’ll stay away. Things just aren’t right, Parker, but I promise I’ll get better. I will!”

“Whatever Alexis. You and I are done. We are no longer friends. I plan to marry Maggie, and you just ruined any chance you had of building a friendship with her. If you can’t be friends with her, you can’t be friends with me.”

“You’re going to marry her?”

“Yes, and I won’t let you and your madness fuck this up for me. You understand?”

“Yeah, Parker. I get it.”

She hung up the phone, and I wondered briefly if I just poured gasoline on a burning flame. I didn’t have time to wonder long though because I heard Maggie pulling in the driveway.

Maggie

I finally dragged my tired self home around dinnertime after spending the day watching movies with Max and talking Sarah down from castrating Parker and murdering Alexis. It was like old times, and that comfort was something I had needed lately. I was dreading going home not knowing what was waiting for me. What was worse was the possibility that there could be nothing waiting on me to get home. Parker could have decided he didn’t want to deal with the drama. He could have decided I wasn’t worth it. The idea of Parker leaving me was more than I could bear. In fact I suddenly hated that saying about sometimes love wasn’t enough. Love had to be enough for Parker and me; otherwise we didn’t have a chance.

Fortunately, I found Parker cooking in the kitchen when I came in the house. He was making fajitas, one of our favorite meals to cook together. When he heard me come in through the garage, he looked up and came right over to me wrapping his arms around me. “Hey baby. I’m so glad you’re home. I’m making your favorite.”

I took a second to absorb the comfort of his arms before I cautiously spoke. “Thank you. It smells delicious.”

He kissed my head and said, “Let me finish cooking, and then we’ll talk. Go sit.”

I did what he said knowing we were delaying the inevitable. Surely neither one of us wanted to have the conversation that was about to take place, but it needed to happen.

Once he set the platters down, we ate in silence for a few moments. He slid a penny across the table to me, and I knew it was his way of apologizing without having to say anything. This time the penny wouldn’t be enough, but I appreciated the gesture.

“This is good,” I told him.

He nodded. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure what all you put in the seasoning, but I found a recipe online.”

“You did a good job,” I said lamely.

More silence…

“What did you do today?” He asked. This was the most awkward dinner we had ever shared.

“Max and I watched movies.”

“Where was Becca?”

“She had to tutor undergrads and then met Rachel to go to Ikea.”

He nodded in understanding. “You didn’t want to go to Ikea?”

“No. I was too tired to walk all three floors with them. I wanted to watch movies with Max.”

“I would have watched movies with you. I waited for you to come home all day.”

I dropped my fork. It was time to talk, time to lay it all out there for each other. “No offense Parker, but why would I think you would have any interest in sitting around watching movies with me?”

“I know I haven’t been around much, but I’ve been working on something important. I have been so wrapped up in it that I didn’t realize how it was making you feel.”

“It’s not just the time, Parker. When you’re here, you aren’t really here. Even when we study, it’s like pulling teeth to get you to help. Not to mention how impolite you are to Tony.”

“Tony’s a douchebag who wants in your pants, Maggie. He’s flirting with you right in front of me making him the disrespectful one, not me.”

“Oh Parker…” This conversation was going nowhere. I couldn’t really argue with Parker. He was spot on with Tony. He was really disrespectful, but Parker didn’t have to blatantly ignore everything Tony said. Sometimes Tony had good information to contribute.

“It doesn’t even matter,” Parker said. “What matters is that I love you. I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I’ll do everything I can to be more present if you promise to talk to me. You can’t let all of this build up over time.” He grabbed my hand and laced his fingers through mine. “I hate fighting with you.”

“I know. Me too,” I said while staring at our joined hands.

He pulled me out of my chair and into his lap. I nuzzled my face into his neck, while he did the same to me. “I love you, Maggie,” he whispered against my neck.

I felt tears stinging my eyes. “I love you, too.”

Parker pulled his head back when the first tear dripped from my eye. “Why are you crying? Everything’s ok. We’re ok.”

A sob escaped my lips and tears continued to roll down my cheeks. “I was worried. I kept thinking you were going to break up with me. We used to hang out all the time, and now I only see you when we study. I miss you, Parker. I miss Sarah. I even miss having Max and Becca here all of the time. I don’t want to be this needy girl who has to have people around all the time. I used to be just fine on my own, but you assholes made me love having y’all around all the time.”

He smiled and wiped the tears from my face. “I know it’s different, but you still talk to everyone everyday. Once we have this first semester under wraps, school will get better. By then I’ll be done with the band. Then we can start going out more and having fun like we used to. I promise.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it Parker Pryce.” I tried to sound stern, but it just came out pouty. Fortunately, he laughed and kissed my nose.

“You can invite our study group over more often if you would like. Invite them to go to the bar with us. The one time we all went out was fun, and I know they have a gig soon. I know you like Ivy, but you only hang out with her when we are studying. I bet she’d love the band.”

“There are so many things wrong with what you just said. First, you hate Tony and almost punched him that night for putting his hand on my back. Second, I hate Alexis. The girl slapped me last night! Who does that? And why would I want to expose a new friend to her wrath?”

He kissed the cheek that the stupid devil girl slapped. “Tony sucks and should know not to touch what’s mine. Alexis should too for that matter. She’s a bitch. She was gone by the time I was back inside last night. I think Grady knew I was going to kill her for sure this time.”

“They’re protecting her,” I told him. “Whatever is going on has Grady so worried it’s clouding his judgment. She doesn’t have to take responsibility for her actions because they keep taking her away so you won’t have the chance to be mean to her.”

“I don’t know about that. What she’s going through is pretty serious if it’s what I think it is. Let’s talk about the fact that you got in her face like a badass. Even when she slapped you, you hardly reacted. I was proud of you.”

“Look where it got me. The first time I stand up for myself, I get hit. Go me!” I rolled my eyes dramatically.

“Babe, it’s Alexis. She might be a little crazy. I think it is a good sign that you stood up to her. Maybe next you’ll be ready to take on your mother.”

“Ugh! What is it with you and Max? You both blame my mother for everything. Sure my mother is awful and says horrible things to me because she hates me, but there is no reason to start world war three because of it. I would be on the losing end of that war for sure, and I could lose Daddy in the process. Remember, he chose to have her in his life. He didn’t choose his kids.”

“Maggie, your dad loves you more than life itself. Losing him will never happen.”

“We almost lost him last year,” I remind him.

“That was different, and you know it. Besides, look how well he’s doing now. We’ll be down there for his birthday in two weeks.”

“Not if my mother has anything to do with it,” I muttered unhappily.

“We’re going,” he said decisively. “And just watch how he lights up when you walk in the room. He doesn’t do that for any other person in the world, especially not your mother.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.” Parker kissed my lips chastely and lifted me off his lap. “Go on upstairs while I clean up dinner. I’ll be up in a minute.” With a couple of gentle pats on my rear he sent me on my way. It was in my room that I found the real apology. He had red roses on every surface with candles and yes, “I’m sorry” pennies in the shape of a heart on my dresser. For someone who didn’t think he had a romantic bone in his body, he sure knew how to apologize.