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Authors: Amanda Heath

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BOOK: Fire In Her Eyes
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Spencer

 

She looks so broken lying in that bed. I want to touch and hold her so bad, but I remember how my mom didn’t like physical contact after what happened with my dad. So, I glue my feet to the floor to keep me from running over and crushing her to me.

“I’m numb. I can’t feel a thing.” She closes her eyes and exhales loudly. “I want to thank you for coming for me. I don’t know what would have happened had you not show
n up. Paige and I could be dead
.”

She opens her eyes and looks at me. I flinch at the emptiness in them. Her fire is gone. That bastard took it from her. It had taken everything in me to keep me in this ro
om. I’ve wanted to go kill that
fucker since I walked in here. She should be enjoying her summer hanging out with her friends: going on dates with me, partying with everyone. She should not be lying in this bed. You can just look at her and tell the summer is going to be hard on everyone.

“Don’t thank me, Harley. I should have saved you. This shouldn’t have happened to you at all. I’m a sorry excuse for a human because I let this happen to you.” I stay rooted to my spot and fiddle with my thumbs.

“This isn’t your fault, Spencer. God, I’m so fucking sick of having to explain this to everyone tonight. This is Dylan’s fault. He chose to do this to me. You didn’t let it happ
en. You weren’t even there when
it happened. No one could have saved me.” She is just lying there staring at the ceiling. I hurt for her. God, do I hurt for her.

“I’m sorry, baby girl. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just feel awful because I wasn’t there. I shouldn’t have let him talk us into going to a different bar. I should have gone o
ut with you like I wanted. If I
had we wouldn’t be here now.” I feel the tears start to fall. I’m fucking cracking in front of her. I wanted to appear calm and strong, not weak and pathetic.

“He knew what he was doin
g. No one in this town saw this
coming. I’m pretty sure he didn’t think he would get caught. His only fuck up was that he didn’t go far enough away.” She sighs
and looks into my eyes.
“I’m tired. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep. Tell everyone out in the waiting room to go as well. I don’t feel like babysitting y’all all night long. I just want to be alone.” I flinch from her tone. She’s close to losing it. “Okay, baby girl.” I say b
efore walking out of the room.

 

*****

 

I had to convince everyone to leave. They didn’t want to leave her here. I told them it would be best if we did. She is going through a lot right now and doesn’t need us hovering over her. They all agreed after a while and went home. I didn’t. I left the hospital, but I had another stop I needed to make. Dean tagged along. I didn’t even ask him too. I’m going to need all the support I can get after this.

We have all known Dylan Topher our whole lives. He’s been one of us for that long, for crying out loud. He’s someone you trusted throughout your entire life. That got taken away in one second. The second I found him with Harley beaten and raped in his truck, this mother fucker deserves to die. I’m not trying to play God, here. It’s just something I believe with my whole heart. You can’t just betray people who love you and trust you like this. It wouldn’t be near as bad if it was someone we didn’t know, someone who was nameless and faceless. This face I’ve looked at almost every day for fucking years.

We pull up outside the police station. My mom used to date the sheriff when I was younger, so I’m hoping he will let me back to see Dylan. I have to know why he did this. Mike is sitting at the front desk almost as if he is waiting on me. Even if he wasn’t there, I’d
never
wait for visiting hours.

“Spencer, I’ve been waiting on you,” he says calmly. Mike is the average cop, with his big belly from too many donuts. He’s got a full head of dark brown, wavy hair. His brown eyes look at me with sympathy. Yeah, he knows exactly why I am here.

“I know, Mike. We just want to talk to him. We just want to know why he did this.” I hope if I just tell him the truth he’ll let us back to see him.

“Like I said, I’ve been waiting on you. We can’t get him to talk. I was hoping you and Dean could get some answers out of him. We all want to know why he did this.” He rubs a big hand down his face and waves for us to follow him.

The walk to the back is silent and my nerves are jumping up and down. I’m not sure how I will react when I see him. I just hope I don’t take a gun off of Mike and shoot the bastard between the eyes.

We finally stop at the holding cells. Dylan is the only one back here. That should tell you about the crime here in Duke. I shallow my nerves and walk right up to his cell. He’s pretty beaten up. Most of his face is swollen up. He’s here in this cell and not in a hospital so we must not have done much damage.

“What do you want, Grady?” He sneers.

I don’t see my friend in there. I don’t see the guy who drank beers with us and talked about girls. I don’t see the guy who snuck me my first porno magazine. I definitely don’t see the guy I called one of my best friends. “I want to know why you did this, Dylan.” It comes out calmly but I feel anything but.

He lets out a chuckle. The sound brings chills to my spine. “You want to know, do you? I don’t think you can handle it, pretty boy.”

“Quit playing around and just tell me. You have a lot of people wanting to know the answer to this. Remember, you were my best friend once, you owe me this.” I put my han
ds on the cell and say all this
looking into his eyes.

“I did this because I wanted her. She wouldn’t ever give me the time of day. She’s always had eyes for you, Spencer, never anyone else. When you announced that you were fucking her and going to date her, I lost it. I had to do something to get back at you. You took something that I wanted for years with the bat of an eye lash. It wasn’t fucking fair. So, I did the one thing that would take her away from you...”

 

Chapter 13

 

Harley

 

They released Paige and I at the same time. She took one look at me and broke out crying, pulling me into a hug. I tried to cry with her, but the tears wouldn’t come. I’m without pain meds and I’m still numb. Maybe I won’t ever feel again. That would be a relief, because when this pain hits me, I don’t think there is going to be much left of me.

My dad is here to take me home. I don’t know where Spencer is and I don’t ask even though I really want to. I want to see his handsome face. I feel so weak now and I need his strength. He may not see it the way I do. He saved me when I had no hope left. I will forever remember the look of death in Dylan’s eyes. He didn’t want me leaving that truck alive.

“You ready to go, Harley?” My dad asks. I nod and he grabs my elbow to guide me outside. I flinch when he touches me, but he isn’t looking at me so he doesn’t notice. I really wish he wouldn’t touch me. I don’t want anyone to catch this filth I have all over my skin.

The drive back to the house is filled with an uncomfortable silence. I don’t think either one of us knows what to say to the other. What
do
you say in this type of situation? O
h, I’m sorry you got raped, but
it will be okay. How I wish that was true. I don’t think life will ever be easy after this.

Pulling up to the house, I notice that Spencer’s truck isn’t in the driveway. I’m not going to lie, that hurts a lot. I know I didn’t ask him to be here, but I kind of thought we had something special. He is a guy; I guess he just can’t handle it. Or maybe he can’t stand to see me anymore.

I feel like a ghost walking through my own life. My brothers are here as well as Polly. They don’t say much to me. I sit on the couch and try to tune in what they
are
saying.
I just can’t focus on anything.
It’s all mundane, anyway. Superficial stuff I don’t need to add my words to. Well, if I had words.

I think it’s a defense mechanism or something:
 
The reason why I can’t feel anything or the reason I’m not reliving the whole thing over and over again in my head. It’s just blank. Whatever it is, I’m thankful for it. I couldn’t stand for my family to see me fall apart like that. It wouldn’t be fair to them. I just cringe to think about what will happen when I’m alone.

I know that I sit at the dinner table and I eat whatever it is that Polly made. I know that my brothers, my dad, and Polly were all present, but I can’t tell you anything else. I don’t remember anything that was said. I don’t remember what anyone was wearing. I can’t even tell you who sat next to me at the table. I don’t want to be this way, but I can’t find myself inside this shell I hav
e become. I’m lost. And alone.

 

*****

 

It rains right after I lay down for bed. Every time I hear the thunder or see the lightening, I whimper. It’s a small, bro
ken sound. I don’t want
anyone else to wake up. I don’t want to have to talk to anyone. I don’t want them to touch me with their comforting hands. I don’t want to see the pity in their eyes.

Lights peek in through my curtains, but not the lightening kind. No, these are car lights. Spencer is home. I don’t even think, I just get up out of my bed and walk in a daze to his room. When I get there, I open the door and walk to his bed. I curl up under his covers and take in his scent. The musky outdoor smell makes me feel safe. Spencer makes me feel safe.

I wait for him with baited breath. I just want to see him so bad. Everything will be all right if I do. I hear the front door shut with a soft “whoosh” and his footsteps coming down the hall. When he opens the door to his room, I suck in a breath. Maybe he will have grown his wings since the last time I saw him. Maybe he will fly me away from here.

“What are you doing in here, Harley? You should be in your bed, asleep,” he says softly, not coming very far into the room. I haven’t talked very much since it happened, so my voice comes out horse and unused. “Why weren’t you here? I really wanted you to be here.” I sound like a little child. I’m hurt, though. Can’t he see how much I need him?

“I’m sorry, Harley. I just had a lot of things on my mind and needed time to think.” I can barely see him, but I know he’s rubbing his hand over his raven hair. He does that a lot when he’s uncomfortable. “That’s nice. I don’t have anything on mine. It’s pretty blank in there right now.” A flash of lightening through the windows and the sound of thunder make me whimper. I curl tighter into the covers. He hears the sound and walks over to the side of the bed quickly. He gets down to eye level with me and all I want him to do is touch me.

I’m so selfish for that, but I need his touch. He’s the only one who can take the pain away. “It’s okay Harley. You’ll get back to normal in no time. You’re stronger than this. You can fight your way back and I promise I will be right here with you the whole time.”

His words sound nice, but he doesn’t know me all that well, I realize. I’m not strong nor have I ever been. I just hope he means what he says. I would s
hrivel to nothing without him.

 

Sp
encer

 

I run as fast as I can away from Dylan. No matter how fast I run, though, I can’t escape his words. They rip me apart inside. They haunt me no matter what I do or where I go. What happened to her was all my fault. Now, all I can do is help her heal and then get the fuck away from her. I won’t do this to her again.

I couldn’t face her until I calmed down, so I drove to LSU where I go to school and called up Marissa. I know what you are thinking, and it wasn’t like that. Marissa isn’t a part of what is happening at home. She doesn’t know and I kept it that way. Marissa may have dumped me because her daddy told her to, but that doesn’t mean she’s a bad person. She is actually really sweet, but her obsession with shoes drives her heart. It wasn’t that serious between us anyway.

We decided to go out with our friends from school that had stayed around for the summer. It was nice. I didn’t have to think about what a fuck up I am or the messed up shit going on in Duke. I was on a self-destructive path driving down here, but they truly helped me see that life goes on. They had no idea what I was going through, and it made me see that this fucked up shit isn’t the end. Besides, there was a certain redhead who needed me to be clear-headed back where I came from.

Marissa tried to get me to stay with her for the rest of the summer. She said she regretted breaking up with me and said she would handle her daddy. I politely told her that I wasn’t interested anymore. I had someone back home that I had been crazy about most of my life. She took it better than I could have hoped. Though, I doubt that is the last I will hear of her.

Driving into town hours later, I notice its storming. I push the pedal harder and make it home as fast as possible. What a way for her to spend her first night home after all this shit. I can’t help but picture her; how she looked that night, bleeding and broken.

I pull into the driveway and park. The rain hasn’t hit yet, but I can smell it in the thick air when I step out of the truck. I make my way into the house as quietly as I can and then tip toe to my room. I’ll wait to see if she makes any noise. I don’t want to go in and scare her any more than I know she is.

BOOK: Fire In Her Eyes
10.19Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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