First Bitten (6 page)

“
Nathan?” I utter when he’s at the door.

He turns back, giving me a questioning stare.

I roll onto my side, facing him. “Thank you for saving my life.” I realised I haven’t said that, and all things aside, he at least deserves my thanks.

He shrugs. “No problem.”

“
How do you know all this stuff, about these ... Vârcolac things?”

I see something flicker behind his light eyes. “We’ll talk about it later. Just rest now.” He turns away and pulls open the door.

“
Nathan?”

He doesn’t attempt to disguise the sigh and he doesn’t turn around, he just stands there, back to me, a foot out of the room. “Yes?”

“
What will happen to me ... if the Vârcolacs find me?”

His back stiffens. “Let’s hope you never find out.” Then he’s gone, the door gently banging in his wake.

I roll onto my back and stare blankly up at the ceiling.

Carrie’s gone.

My heart compresses, squeezing tightly in on itself, the agony unbearable, and sobs break from me. I bury my face into the pillow, trying to muffle the cries coming from me.

It’s my fault. I ended her life, both our lives, the moment I made the decision to step into those woods. It should have been me that died in there, not Carrie. I’m going to have to live with that knowledge for the rest of my existence. Because existing is all I’m doing now. What I’m left with isn’t anything resembling a life.

And it’s nothing less than I deserve.

Chapter 6

Blood Drinker

“
Alex?”

“
Hmm.”

“
Wake up.” A strong hand gently shakes my shoulder.

“
Go away, Eddie. I’m tired.” I roll away from his hand, stretching my stiff legs out.

“
Alex?”

I sigh loudly and roll back over, forcing my sleep-laden eyes open. “Eddie, for God’s sake–” My words catch in my throat because it’s not Eddie my eyes meet with, it’s Nathan. Of course it is. I’m not at home; I don’t have a home anymore. I’m not me any more, and Carrie’s gone, forever.

The present slams back into me with all its ferocity. The relief sleep offered is no more and the loss of Carrie consumes me all over again. Tears insistently spring to my eyes.

Nathan looks down at me curiously, his green eyes almost luminous in the dusk light. “You okay?” he asks.

I manage a nod as I press my lips together and attempt to swallow down my grief. I’ve cried enough in front of him already. I don’t want to cry again.

But it’s not working. My eyes are swollen with the tears, top lip quivering, chin wobbling. I hold my breath. But a stray tear trickles out from the corner of my eye, snaking its way down my cheekbone, and the feel of that one single tear breaks down all my defences and the grief engulfs me, and there’s not a single thing I can do to stop it. The pain is so intense I feel like my chest is being crushed.

I can’t breathe.

Clutching a hand to my chest, panicked, I sit bolt upright and crash straight into Nathan.

“
Whoa, take it easy,” he says, taking hold of me by my shoulders, but I can’t focus on him, or anything. My whole body is shaking, tears streaming down my face.

Carrie’s dead. How can she be dead? It just doesn’t make sense, any of it. And I miss her so much it hurts.

“
Alex, you need to calm down.” Nathan takes a firm hold of my chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to look at him.

My eyes flicker back to the now, and when they meet with his, I’m surprised by the intensity I find there.

“
Take slow, deep breaths,” he says. It’s not a request.

Knowing he’s got my attention, Nathan slides his hand from my face but stays sitting where he is, which is mere inches from me, so close I can smell his aftershave.

I know he’s only trying to help me but his nearness and fixed gaze are making me uncomfortable for reasons I can’t explain.

I break away from our stare and look out through the window behind him. Red is commanding the sky tonight. It disappears under the remaining clouds, drifting into a soft shade of pink. What is it they say: red sky at night shepherds delight? It really is a beautiful sight. I know it is. I just can’t even begin to appreciate it. How can I ever allow myself to appreciate something when I shouldn’t be the one here to see it? There’s a blackness inside me now coating everything. I already had a gaping, hollow place where my heart should have been - my parents dying saw to that - but now Carrie’s gone, well, whatever was left went with her.

I shut my eyes and take a deep calming breath, forcing my frantic mind and body to still. “I’m sorry,” I utter, as my breathing slows to something close to normal.

“
Don’t be.” He moves up the bed putting space between us.

I watch him with interest as he pushes his hair off his forehead and lets out a light sigh. “I’m sorry I had to wake you but it’s time you fed. You should have fed earlier but I didn’t think it was wise to suggest it with the state you were in, and I know you’re far from great now, obviously, but it’s been far too long and you need to feed.”

I tilt my head and stare at him confused. “What do you mean, 'I need to feed?'.”

He frowns for a fleeting moment. “Feed, you know, on blood.”

A chill runs through me, cutting into my bones. I wrap my arms protectively around myself. “Blood? What are you talking about?” The words practically dribble out of my mouth.

Nathan mirrors me, folding his arms across his chest. I see the muscles flex in his forearms. “You’re a Vârcolac now, Alex. You’re part vampire, therefore a blood drinker. I thought you would have realised … ” He peters off, and I’m assuming it’s because of the look of absolute horror on my face.

My mouth forms the words to speak but nothing comes out.

He unfolds his arms and shakes his head. “You didn’t realise?”

My brain is failing. I’m half expecting it to start trickling out of my ears.

“
You need blood,” Nathan says in a careful voice. “Well, you’ll crave it. I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long already without feeling any urges. You can still eat food, Alex, but basically blood is your sustenance, for want of a word.”

My body’s gone numb. I dig my nails into the skin on my arms, just to try and feel something. Taking in a big gulp of air, I attempt to still my erratic heart. My mouth’s gone dry, and the words are gloopy as they leave my mouth. “You’re saying I need to drink blood to stay alive?”

He nods. And I feel sick.

“
That can’t be right,” I stammer, holding back the fast rising bile. “You must be wrong. You’ve gotta be wrong.”

As I clutch at straws, Nathan shakes his head empathetically. “For your sake I wish I was, but I’m not.”

Something inside me clicks and then I know what’s happened here. I get it. I almost laugh out loud with relief. I’ve finally cracked and have had a nervous breakdown. With everything I’ve been through over the years it makes sense. I’ve stepped out of reality and into a dream world that I’ve created. That’s it. I’m currently in a dream world, just like Alice in Wonderland, except I’m not in Wonderland, I’m in Horrorland. Actually it’s more like I’m trapped in a Freddie Kruger film. Now all I need to do is find a way to get myself out of this never-ending horror story and back to normal.

“
If you don’t feed,” Nathans continues, snapping me back to the now, “it’ll make you do things you wouldn’t normally do to satisfy your hunger.”

The sound of his continuing voice against my ears is abrasive. I feel like nails are been driven into my skull.

This isn’t real. I don’t want him here. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want him to stop talking. I don’t want to hear any of this anymore.

I cover my eyes with my hands, thumbs pressing over my ears, blocking out the sound of his voice.

This isn’t real. This isn’t real.

It’s just a figment of my over-active imagination. I’ve always had wild thoughts, usually ideas of grandeur, not sick and twisted scenarios like this but ...

Nathan grabs hold of my arm, yanking my hand away from my face, polluting my ears with his words again. “Have you been listening to a fucking a word I’ve said to you?”

Anger quickly takes me over. I peel my other hand away from my face. “I heard enough.” I scowl at him.

“
You haven’t heard the fucking half of it,” he chastises me. “You think I’m telling you this for my health? I’m trying to help you, Alex, and you need to pay attention to every single fucking thing I tell you from now on because I’m telling you these things for your own good, to give you a fighting chance of staying as near to human as you possibly fucking can.”

“
You swear too much,” I observe, coolly.

A smile ghosts his face. “Yeah, and you’re impossible to talk to.”

I look down at my hands. Deep down I know this is real and what he’s saying is true, and not just that I’m impossible to talk to, but that he’s only trying to help me.

Also, knowing I have no way out of this horror that is now my life, I tilt my chin up and force myself to ask, “What will I happen if I don’t have ... blood?”

“
You’ll turn on people to feed. You’ll kill, without meaning too.”

My stomach drops through the bed. “And ... how long before that would happen?” The words shiver out of me.

“
Not would,
will
. It’ll be about another day max. Soon the hunger will start to take over and you’ll turn into someone you would never wish to meet, worse than the fucker that did this to you because it’ll be your first feed and you’ll be hungry. You’ll be like a junkie searching for a fix who will do anything to sate that need. But unlike the average junkie, you’ll be stronger, quicker, sharper and driven purely by the hunger. In the end you’ll be out of control, unrecognisable. And that’s when I’ll put you down.” He links his fingers around his knee and leans in close to me. His hot breath scorches over my skin. “It’s something I’d rather not do, Alex, so it’ll be easier all round if you just listen to what I’m telling you and drink this.” He reaches down, retrieves a flask from the floor beside him, and holds it out for me to take.

Ignoring him, I close my eyes and start to massage my temples in a rhythmic motion.

I don’t want to do this. I feel trapped. I hate feeling trapped. I’m in this whole other world now, a world I have no comprehension of, a world I don’t want to have comprehension of. But what other choice do I have?

I open my eyes. Nathan still has the flask in his hand but now it’s resting against his knee.

I reach out and take it from him. “What’s in here?” I ask, nerves apparent.

He sighs impatiently. “Blood.”

I look at him sharply, tired of the sarcasm that comes naturally with him. “I know it’s blood, I’m not a complete idiot,” I snap. “I meant whose blood?”

He raises an eyebrow.

“
Yours?” I cringe.

He throws his head back and laughs, a slow, dry laugh. “No. I should have said it’s animal. Even though human blood is your natural craving, you can survive on animal’s blood, it’s just not as good for your needs. You’ll require to feed more often than you would with human blood.”

My body goes rigid with anger. “Should have mentioned!” I shriek. “Are you having a fucking laugh?! I think it’s a pretty important thing to tell me!”

He leans back on the bed, levelling our eyes. “You swear too much.” A pirate smile lurks around the corners of his mouth.

I hunt for a smart reply but take too long and lose my chance. I’m caught somewhere between hot and cold, with no comeback. I can feel the anger reddening my face.

Biting on the inside of my cheek, I look down at the flask in my hand. Knowing there’s animal blood inside has calmed me a bit. Don’t get me wrong, the thought of drinking animal blood is disgusting, but not as disgusting as the thought of drinking blood that has come from another human being.

“
So ... this is animal blood?” I lift the flask up.

“
Pigs.”

I cringe. The poor pig.

“
You’re lucky we live on a farm,” he adds. Getting up, he goes over and switches the light on, flooding the room with brightness. “You’ll have an endless supply of it for the duration of your stay.”

“
I’m on a farm?” I ask, my eyes following him as he sits down in the only chair in the room.

Oddly, I hadn’t even thought about exactly where I am, but then. I have had other things on my mind.

Nathan’s eyes roam my face curiously. “You couldn’t tell from the smell?”

I shake my head.

He scratches his temple. “Have you noticed any differences in yourself at all?”

I know it’s a loaded question but still I have to ask, “Differences?”

“
Increased sense of smell, better hearing, sharper eyesight, an increase in your strength,” he ticks off.

I shake my head again and bring my knees up to my chest, hugging them.

“
Try now,” he says, leaning forward in his seat.