Freakn' Cougar (16 page)

Let them move on to someone else. Surely the mating fever would die off the longer she stayed away. Surely fate and nature would give the guys a second chance.

But what about me?

She’d had her moment in the sun. Time for them to get theirs. She didn’t allow the warmth of their smiles, the remembrance of their touch, to intrude on her thoughts. She couldn’t allow it because, if she did, then she’d begin to doubt her decision and the path she’d chosen for herself, that of a single cougar, living out her life, alone.

It sounded so pathetic. So woe is me. What had happened to the brave woman she used to be? The one who feared nothing, most especially not life and love?

Rubbing her eyes, she strode back to the door and grabbed her knapsack. She carried it into her bedroom and tossed it on the bed before her gaze was snagged by something on her nightstand. Overcome, she sank to her knees before the one personal item in the room.
How could I have forgotten this was here?
It was an image of Ryker, hair tousled as he smiled at the camera, so happy. Her heart wrenched.

She couldn’t help the mournful wail that she uttered, a howl not just from her human self but her cat. Seeing his face again, she realized something she’d tried to avoid. She had to face reality.

Ryker is gone. He’s not coming back.

And it was time for her to let him go. Again. Sure she’d done it once, when he died, and she’d adjusted to living alone, sleeping alone, getting through each day without him at her side. But now, she needed to set him free a second time because it was time to let his memory rest in peace.
It’s time for me to stop pitying my luck and to resume living.

Yes, she would always miss Ryker. She would never forget the man who was her mate. But she couldn’t live in limbo forever. It wasn’t making her happy. It certainly wouldn’t have made Ryker happy, and it definitely didn’t make Stu or Ricky happy.

She needed to move on to the next stage of her life. But before she did, she allowed herself a good long cry and got drunk because, dammit, she needed it.

Tipsy, and cried out, she found herself in need of a vigorous shaking up. She stripped down and stepped forth from the cabin, naked as the day of her birth. She raised her arms to the starlit sky, the cool air pebbling her skin.

“Goodbye, Ryker.” As she shifted forms and loped off into the woods, the snow puffing in little clouds by her feet, she could almost swear she felt his ghostly presence running alongside her, approving of her decision. With each cleansing step she took, with each lungful of burning, cold air she inhaled, she felt stronger. The guilt she’d allowed to burden her, melted.

Living again was the right choice. Loving again was not a betrayal. She could be happy. She could teach her young suitors to love eighties music and not make her feel old by calling it retro. She could learn to play Stu’s video games. She could help Ricky on his mission to save youths.

She could do it all. If she let them claim her.

Which was kind of hard for them to do given she’d run off to hide in the middle of nowhere without telling a soul.

Come to think of it, that might not have been her brightest move, especially given the killers she’d hunted had gotten loose.

But surely they wouldn’t have followed her to the mountains. The missing perps had a very clear itinerary when it came to their murders. However, given she and her boys had thrown that plan into chaos, would they change their modus operandi and switch tactics? Could she and her young lovers become targets?

Are Ricky and Stu in danger?

The very thought stopped her in her snowy tracks. Her sides heaved, and her breath steamed the air as she realized her selfishness and cowardice might have left her mates vulnerable.
They need me.
Someone needed her. She had to get back!

Anyone watching might have wondered at the massive golden cougar that did an abrupt one eighty and sped back in the direction she came from. She sped through the shadows, dodging branches that sought to dump their icy loads of flakes on her. Muscles in her legs tensed and bunched for power as she leapt over snow-covered obstacles. Faster. Faster. She needed to get back. Urgency drove her.

Logic dictated she could do nothing this night, not even leave the mountain, because only the suicidal attempted to drive the winding, twisting road in the pitch black, especially in these types of icy conditions. Knowing she couldn’t travel back to her lovers and mates until morning didn’t slow her pace, and her less-than-careful flight brought attention. An ululating howl split the crisp air off to her right and not far off. It sounded again, and her cougar emitted a chuffing growl as it recognized the call of a wolf.

More voices joined in, the call of the lone hunter answered by a pack. Shit. Given she knew of no shifter packs in these environs, that could only mean one thing. Unenlightened, feral wolves. Great. And if there was one thing a pack of wolves hated, it was kitty cats encroaching on their territory.

One-on-one, she could take on a wild canine, even two, but add in a couple or more and she was royally screwed unless she could make it to her cabin first. There she could barricade herself behind the thick log walls and, with the aide of granddad’s shotgun, pick them off if needed.

But the wolves proved closer than expected.
Branches crackled around her. The sharp yips of their excitement echoed much too close.
As she raced through the snow, sides heaving with exertion, she strove to pour every ounce of energy she possessed into escaping. She also couldn’t help but curse her own foolishness in running away from her problems.

If she’d stayed and faced her fears, she wouldn’t now be alone, about to fight to live. How ironic. She’d just come to the subconscious realization that she’d not been living, and now she had to fight in the real world to actually get that chance.

The wolves flanked her, their sleek fur blending with shadows as they paced alongside her, their yellow eyes glinting as they eyed her with slavering delight. When one veered too close in an attempt to nip at her, without slowing her pace, she snarled and swiped. She missed. However the daring wolf lost his footing in his attempt to dodge her claws and tumbled into the powdery snow.

Not far now …

She burst from the tree line into the clearing she kept around the cottage. Starlight barely lit the space, but the snow sparkled as it picked up the faint illumination. It also outlined the shape of the really large wolf standing in its midst smack-dab between her and the door to safety.

Of all the bad luck! She skidded on the snowy ground, the slick ice under the fluffy layer not slowing her momentum. She braced herself for impact. Hackles rose along her spine. Her lip pulled back over pointed teeth in a snarl. She wouldn’t give in without a fight.

A shift in the wind brought the scent of the wolf to her nose, and her ferocious stance turned to one of surprise as she recognized it.

Stu!

He’d come for her! Her young mate and lover, whom she had so ignobly ditched, had tracked her down. And he’d not come alone.

The front door to her cottage flung open, and a tall shape filled it. Not for long. Ricky’s transformation happened in a blink of an eye. A fierce yowl pierced the air as a black shadow bounded from her cottage, the indoor light illuminating the panther’s sleek frame before Ricky melted into the pockets of darkness.

It seemed the suitors she’d thought to escape had found her.

And, lucky her, they’d arrived just in time to play.

Of all the things Stu and Ricky expected to find when they showed up at the remote cabin, which he’d found only after some fancy—and, ahem, illegal—searches of online databases, it wasn’t to see his beloved cougar racing at him with a pack of wolves at her thrashing tail.

What a sweetheart. She’d brought his beast some toys to play with. While human Stu might lack a certain grace and finesse, his wolf side was all about the hunt. With a mighty howl, which echoed only seconds after Ricky’s feline one, Stu dove at his distant cousins who dared threaten his mate.

Fur and teeth met in a clash. Snarls and yips broke the stillness of the wintry night. Six wolves had dared to attack, but against an even bigger wolf and two large cats, they didn’t stand a chance. While the felines swiped with their deadly claws, leaving bleeding furrows, Stu preferred to grab his opponents by the scruff of their necks and shake them. It didn’t take long before the pack realized the futility of their attack.

With whimpers, and most of them limping, they blended back into the shadows of the forest, leaving behind two fallen comrades who hadn’t survived the short, yet vicious, battle.

Stu sat on his haunches in the trampled snow and let loose a howl of triumph, one cut short as a very naked woman threw herself against him and looped her arms around his furry neck for a hug.

“I can’t believe you came,” Patricia exclaimed before she buried her face in his fur.

While Scooby Doo never had a problem articulating himself, Stu had never quite managed the trick of talking while in wolf form. He shifted shapes, ignoring for the moment the chilly ground against his nude flesh in favor of the warm and pleasurable sensation of his skin against Patricia’s.

“Of course I came. We came,” he corrected. “You didn’t really think we’d let you escape that easily, did you?”

“I wasn’t really thinking at all.”

“Obviously,” retorted Ricky as he strode up and tugged Patricia away from Stu to give her a hug of his own. “No way were we letting you run away. Whatever the problem is, we’ll work through it. Even if it means waiting,” Ricky grimaced, “or sharing you with the hairy puppy.”

Patricia laughed. “So despite this,” she reached down and gripped Ricky’s cock, semi-erect even in the chill air, “and this,” she plastered her mouth to his in a kiss that roused Stu’s jealous beast only a bit, “you’d let me walk away if I said I needed more time?”

Poor Ricky. His pained look made Stu snicker. “I think she’s joking, partner.”

“Of course I am. Even I’m not so cruel.”

A shiver wracked Ricky’s body. “I don’t know. You seem intent on having a heart-to-heart in the godforsaken freezing cold. Can’t we go inside before we have a serious discussion? Maybe lie in front of a warm fire before my male parts get frostbite and fall off?”

“I hear the best way to warm up is skin to skin,” she replied. “Coming?” She tossed a coy look and a smile over her shoulder at Stu.

Coming? Damned straight he was, hopefully in something wet and tight.

He sprang to his feet and clasped his fingers in the ones she extended. Hand in hand, Ricky flanking her other side, they made their way barefoot on the crunching snow to the still-open front door.

Once inside, the warmth from the fireplace blasted them, the heat intense after the extreme cold of the outdoors. Ricky wasted no time in scooping a spot in front of the roaring fire, sitting cross-legged on the massive bear rug laid before it.

“I hope that thing wasn’t related to Ethan,” he muttered, knowing his brother-in-law had family in these parts.

Again, Patricia delighted his senses with laughter. “No, this isn’t from a shifter. Just a regular old grizzly. My granddad shot him back in the eighties after tracking him for over a week. He was harassing some of the humans and sniffing around some grizzly shifter females. Granddad said he was the biggest he’d ever seen.”

Judging by the width and length of the pelt, Stu would have to agree.

Seeing a slight shiver run through her frame, Stu grabbed the soft fleece blanket hanging on the arm of the couch and draped it around her shoulders.

“Come here where it’s warm.” Ricky gestured to the fire. His skin had lost its bluish hue, and he leaned back, a teasing grin on his lips. When Ricky opened his arms and gestured to his lap, she sank into it. Stu might have gotten a little envious had she not turned a smile his way and patted the spot beside them. He sank down on the rug, the fur ticking his backside. She draped her legs over his in a gesture of intimacy he appreciated, showing he was part of whatever would happen next.

Unfortunately, it proved to be talk and not sex.

“I’m glad you guys found me because I want to apologize,” she said, ducking her head so that her blonde bob covered her features. “It was wrong of me to just leave you guys in the lurch after everything that happened between us.”

“You got scared. It happens.” Or so Stu’s mother had explained to him when he went home moping and complaining about his broken heart.

Actually their exact conversation went more along the lines of:

“Did you expect it to be easy? The poor girl had her heart torn out when her mate died. It’s a wonder she even contemplated taking you on, let alone another pig-headed male.”

“But she’s our mate, Ma. I thought once you met the one, it was supposed to be, I don’t know, like instant love and happily ever after.”

He didn’t duck the gentle smack she aimed his way. “Idiot. And I thought you were the smart one after your sister. The mating fever only helps you to recognize each other. To show your compatibility. It doesn’t suddenly change a person. It doesn’t make them fall madly in love, especially in this case, where Patricia already had a mate. She’s dealing with a lot of emotions right about now. I’ll bet guilt is a big one, but even stronger than that is fear. She’s scared of letting herself care again. Right now, she’s probably thinking that if she does let herself mate with you or this Ricky fellow, that she runs the risk of facing heartbreak all over again if something happens to you.”

“So what am I supposed to do?”

“Give her room. Let her realize on her own that happiness is worth taking a chance.”

“Kind of hard for her to come to that conclusion if she never has to see us again.”

“Idiot. I’ve raised an idiot,” his mother lamented, lifting her eyes to the ceiling. “When I said give her room, I didn’t mean don’t find her.”

“Are you saying I should go after her?”

“Of course you should. The sooner, the better. Give her your support. Give her your love.