Hand of Fire (The Master of the Tane) (72 page)

             
It was long minutes before Thane could gain control of himself enough to speak. Jack, feeling like a dolt and uncertain as to what he should do, just stood there and waited. Finally, to Jack’s greater dismay, Thane reached up and hugged him. “I’m sorry, Jack,” he said breathlessly wiping the tears from his face. “I do not blame you for what happened with Dor.”

             
“You don’t?”

             
“Of course not. You had nothing to do with it.”

             
Jack brushed his fingers through his unruly hair. “Well, you haven’t said a word all day and your face was sagging so much I thought the horse might trip on it. I just figured you blamed me.”

             
Suddenly realizing what he must have put Jack through this whole day, his face dropped.

             
Seeing the change, Jack roared, “Now, don’t start with that again. What happened to the laughing and all? Seless’ sacred doors Thane, what has gotten into you?”

             
Thane felt the laughter trying to take control again but pushed it back while trying to explain. “I’m sorry Jack. I have been unkind this day in how I have been acting. Believe me when I say that I do not blame you in the least bit for what happened with Dor. I’ve been trying to come to grips with it this whole day but it does nothing but tear at my heart. You must understand Jack that Dor has been a part of me since birth. He is the only one, besides my mother, who ever showed me any kindness. He is my best friend and because of me he was almost killed. And now he’s gone, thinking I have betrayed him. In a way, I guess I have.”

             
Jack’s features softened a bit and took on the look of a father who just found his son hurt by the town bully. Although he wanted to help, wanted to reach out and comfort him, Jack didn’t say anything, knowing it best that Thane work through it on his own. Only then could he truly heal and feel good about himself.

             
Thane looked at the ground and then looked up again with the hint of a smile. “I’m sorry about the laughter. You must think me mad. I couldn’t help it though. The look on your face was too much.”

             
Jack snorted, grabbing the reins of his horse. “I don’t see what is so funny about me feeling bad and thinking it my fault you have been a mass of brooding clouds all day.”

             
Thane stared at his friend wondering if he may have hurt his feels but caught the wisp of a smile on his face as he climbed onto his horse.

“I think you underestimate yourself, and your friends, Thane,” Jack said as he settled himself into his saddle. “You will never really be free until you see both as they truly are.” Turning his horse about, he kicked it into a gallop leaving Thane to ponder his words.

              Jack pushed them hard the rest of the day taking them well past sundown before stopping at the top of a large hill to make camp. Thane wondered what was driving Jack so fiercely. Obviously they had to get Tam back, but he couldn’t help but feel that there was something more.

Both fell into the chores of setting up camp without much conversation. The night was clear, the clouds having been chased away long ago by the building wind, leaving a sky filled with brilliant pinpricks of light. After tending his horse, Thane quickly drew fire from the few small branches Jack had been able to gather and both sat close trying to draw as much heat as possible into their fast cooling bodies. Erl disappeared and both new they probably would not see the giant wolf again until morning. Jack produced a small pot, which he used to warm the last of his water mixed with some dried venison and a few wild carrots Thane had found earlier. In no time both sat comfortably, sipping their venison soup while staring into the fire that danced seductively casting a hypnotic spell upon the weary travelers.

              “Why are you helping me?” Thane suddenly asked, disrupting the gentle quiet that had fallen in a hush around them.

             
Jack looked up as if he’d just been wakened from a deep sleep. “What?”

             
“Why are you helping me, Jack? Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all you have done and all you
are
doing for me, but why? Why are you putting your head on the block to help me?”

             
“Isn’t that what friends do for one another?” he replied, looking into his empty bowl as if he couldn’t believe it was gone before rising to take more from the simmering pot.

             
Thane was warmed somewhat by his reply but felt that there had to be more. Jack seemed driven, as if a demon were at his heals ready to take a bite. He knew Jack was his friend but he almost seemed more eager than he was. He was going to press the issue but the thought occurred to him that Jack had lived in the mountains for many years with the trolls. Maybe he knew something about how they treated prisoners or some other bit of ghastly information that might cause him to push so hard. Thane felt a chill run through him. He couldn’t bear to think of how Tam must be feeling. Was she all right? Would they get to her in time? What
would
they do with her? His own experience with trolls and their ways pushed him to exhaustion the find Tam and rescue her.
Oh Tam, you have to be well
.
You have to hold on
. “Do you think she is still...?” Thane started in a whisper and then stopped. “Do you think she’s all right?”

             
Jack just stared at him, his countenance turning dark. His eyes bored into Thane with such sadness that it caught in Thane’s throat. “If what Dor said is right,” Jack finally said looking away into the night, “they must have some purpose for her and will, at the least, keep her alive until they reach their goal. After that...” he trailed off, his voice as distant now as his eyes.

             
Thane swallowed hard trying to force the lump in his throat back down. “What do you think they will do to her?” he croaked.

             
Jack’s eyes rounded on him, his expression sad, looking at Thane as if to measure his resolve, as if he needed to know if Thane could take his forthcoming answer without crumbling.

             
Thane stared back trying to steel himself. He had been in battles before; he knew the face of death and fighting. He could take what Jack gave him.

             
Jack’s breath heaved over his long beard causing the whiskers to wave in its wake. “Can’t say,” he finally said shrugging his shoulders. “I guess it depends on where they’re going and why.”

             
That was it? There had to be more. He was sure of it. Jack had looked as if the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders only moments before. Had he not passed the test of Jack’s glaring contemplation? He had to know more. The previous look on his face alone was testament to that. The worst possible thoughts rushed through Thane’s mind in a torrent of horror. What was he hiding that he felt he couldn’t tell him? Before he could ask, Jack placed his bowl on a rock and, after throwing the last bit of wood on the fire, bundled himself in his cloak and laid down, turning his back to Thane.

             
“Best get some sleep”, he muttered through a yawn. “We’ll be leaving before light.”

             
Thane just stared, the grip of fear for Tam increasing steadily until even the fires heat could not warm his icy, cold bones.
Dear Mother of us all, please watch over her
. The tears welled again in his already heavy and burning eyes. She had to be all right. They had to get to her before...Thane felt himself fraying at the seams. It was all becoming too much for him to handle. He wished he could just make himself wake up and be home in his father’s hut curled up near his mother. His sweet mother. Another thing to tear at the weak edges.
No, I must stop this
. He stood up against the howling wind and gathered his cloak tight around him as a shield.
I must stop this foolishness
.
I have been acting a coward and a fool
. Tears fell across his cheeks and were blown by the wind back into his hair.
She must be all right
.
She has to be all right
.

He clenched his teeth as well as his fists giving himself over to anger. It burned through him at all the injustices that had been done to him and to those he loved. It wasn’t right and he would do something about it. He would have been a protector to his people. He must stop being a
child and start acting as a protector would. His mind and body raced with the anger that surged through him lending him strength and resolve.
I can do it
.
I must do it
.
But, how?
He suddenly faltered as the thought washed the life giving anger completely away making him sink heavily back to the ground.

The wind pelted his face with what suddenly felt like a lover’s caress.
The wind
. Thane groaned within himself. Why must life extract such a heavy toll? It was the only way and he knew it. He could find her and know exactly how she was. He felt the self-hate building within him again. It was the reason for all his problems—the curse. But, it was the only way. He would use it. He had to. But for once it would serve him for good. A sliver of light brightened within him.
Yes, it will serve me for good this once
.
This time it will not have me
.
I will have it to help me get Tam back
.

His resolve returned, although a bit unsteady. He kept reminding himself that it was the only way. It was for Tam.
For Tam
.
But how did I do it
? He thought back desperately to when he had “ridden the wind” before. Hundreds of questions raced through his mind like how it was possible and if other Chufa could do it. He pushed all these back trying to concentrate his efforts and facilitate the process. Focusing on memories of his past experiences he retrieved what he felt was necessary. He needed to let himself go, give himself over to it.

             
Closing his eyes, he tried to relax. He could feel his natural resistance having spent most of his life trying to suppress or cover his abilities. This time he needed to bring them forth but now found it a struggle. With effort, he forced his breathing to slow and then stared at his feet making them relax toe by toe. Long minutes passed as he worked through his muscles running up his body, willing them to relax, willing himself to let go, to let his mind break away. He sent his mind out to the world around him; let it be stroked by the wind. He could feel the rushing air pulling at him gently, calling him to join it. He let his worries dissolve in the promised exhilaration of soaring through the night sky as if part of the wind itself.

Suddenly, he felt himself rise. All the cares and worries of the day were washed away as the wind gathered strength around him, lifting him higher and higher, shooting him into the night sky. Opening his eyes slowly, Thane took in the scene before him almost stealing his breath at what it revealed. The beauty of a countless number of stars filled his senses to overflowing. They seemed so close, he felt he could almost reach out and touch them. Glancing down to the distant world below, he caught sight of what looked to be a lone star flickering in the grass as if it had fallen from the sky and was giving off its last bit of life before it faded into nothing.

              Concentrating on the small distant light, Thane urged himself closer. He could feel himself dropping, pushed earthward on a tremendous downdraft, as he drew closer and closer to the source of light. In seconds, he recognized the fire he had been sitting in front of only moments before. The flowing air threw his hair back as the earth reached up as if to engulf him. He quickly willed himself to slow and then finally stopped just inches from the ground. Righting himself, he could feel the strands of air flow around him as they twisted about keeping him in one spot. He looked at himself sitting before the fire as if in a peaceful slumber. It was all so strange and frightening. He could feel the wind falter a bit as the realization of what he was doing began to force its way into his thoughts. Thane turned away quickly pushing down his fear and calling the air to gather and raise him higher. Instantly he shot up, enlivening his soul with a sense of complete freedom.

He pressed forward, willing the wind to greater and greater speeds. Dipping down, he skimmed along the grass sensing it as it brushed against his stomach. He felt so alive. Miles passed in scant seconds as he willed himself to go faster. Lights suddenly appeared in the
distance growing in intensity as the expanse between was hungrily devoured. Thane pulled himself up to a sudden halt that would have flattened him into nothing had he been in his physical body. He found it interesting that he felt only the slightest sensation from the abrupt stop.

             
Drawing slowly closer, he felt he must have somehow gotten turned around as the walls of the Fort rose up in the night sky. Could he have traveled back to Hells End Station?
It can’t be
.
This is much larger
. Haykon. The word jolted into his mind.
It must be Haykon
. This is where they were headed. This is where they hoped to find Tam and the trolls. Thane rose up gently. The whole fort was lit up with torches sending their light out to the darkness beyond.