Hard to Love (5 page)

“I get to see that every day, babe. I’m good.” He polished off the rest of his beer.

MacKenzie closed the laptop. “Let’s go out. If I look at any more of these, I’ll bang the first guy I see at the club.”

By the time
we arr
ived
, the Jell
-O
shots had caught up with me. Tyson
slipped
his arm
around my waist and helped me
inside
. Once
we were stationed at the bar,
he
deposited me safely on
a barstool,
refused
MacKenzie’s
request for more shots
,
and ordered me a beer and
a water
.

With our drinks in hand,
we
found a corner booth and
slid
into the seats.

I slu
mped back against the seat, resting my head against Ty’s shoulder. “What was in these Jell
-O
thing
ies
? I feel funny.”

MacKenzie laughed.
“Vodka.
I thought you knew Jell-O shots had booze in them
.
”

Ty
grasped my chin, turning
my face
to his
. “How many of those did you have,
Lex
?”

I tried to count and lost track
.
“Um, ten?
Twelve?”

“Shit,” he
said
, and took the bottle of beer from my hand, replacing it with the water.

“Damn it,
Kenzie
. You said you’d watch out for her tonight.”

MacKenzie waved him off. “She’s drunk
, not dead, Tyson
.
C
alm down. It
’s her twenty-first birthday, and P.S.
—
you’re not her dad.” She knocked back a healthy swig of her own drink.

“Don’t fight
,
you guys. I’m fine.”
I reached out to pat each of them reassuringly but fumbled.
“See
?
”

They both laughed at my lack of coordination.

“Sometimes I forget how sheltered you are, Alexa. I swear you act like you were raised by the
Cleavers
,
with your day
-
of
-
the
-
week cotton underpants and everything
.
” she chuckled.

I sat up straighter in my seat. “Just because I’m a virgin to Jell
-O
shots
doesn’t mean anything.
H
ell
,
I’m a virgin in every sense
—
” I slapped a hand over my mouth. Crap! I hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

MacKenzie grabbed my shoulders. “Are you serious right now?”

I nodded, reluctantly.
Kenzie’s
and Tyson’s faces were both filled
with surprise at my revelation. “What? It’s not like I’m proud of it. I don’t want to be this way anymore.”

MacKenzie took my hand. “Babe, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. But if you do want to get rid of it
—
it’s not that difficult to do. Your parents did have the birds and bees talk with you, right?”

I grabbed my beer
away from Ty
and took a fortifying sip. “
I’m not like you. I couldn’t have a one-night stand.”

“Well
,
don’t come crying t
o me when you find yourself old and
living alone with a bunch of cats.”

I
took another pull from my bottle
, not about to tell her I’d been thinking about getting a cat lately.

“Leave her alone,
Kenzie
,” Tyson said, removing the beer f
rom my grasp yet again. H
e leaned over to me. “If you want me to
help you
, just let me know.”

MacKenzie swatted Tyson’s hand away from my thigh. “No
,
Ty. I get to help pick him out.
Sort
of
a birthday present.”
She smiled.

I rolled my eyes, blowing off
their
suggestions. I was not picking out a random guy to sleep with on my twenty-first birthday.
And I sure as hell wasn’t sleeping with Tyson.
Gah
! Could you imagine? He’s like a brother to me.

“Oh my God!
Alexa, look.”
MacKenzie pointed across the bar. “It’s the guy from the website.”

Chapter 3

Cade

I sat at the bar nursing a beer
, lost in my thoughts
.

“You want a nipple on that bottle
,
man? Stop being a little bitch and drink up
,
”
Ian
said, knocking back his own beer in a few swallows.

I shot him a warning look. “Don’t fuck with me
tonight,
I’m not in the mood.” I’d been hell
-
bent on getting drunk tonight, needing a few hours
’
peace from the worry that constantly followed me around
, but somehow
I
was failing
even
at that
. “Lily’s latest surgery bill came.”

“Sorry
,
man.”
Ian
tipped his beer,
clinking
the bottle against mine. “Let me know if I can help.”

I nodded. I’d never ask him for help, and we both knew it, b
ut still, just that he offered meant a lot
.
Ian
and I had been friends since the eighth grade when I moved here to live with my grandparents
.
H
e knew all about my sister Lily, and the
condition
that left her poor little spine and legs tangled and twisted.
After
my parents
’
three-strikes-you’re-out meth bust that landed them both in prison when she was three, and my grandparents
each
passing within a year
after
that,
I’d had sole custody of her
. She was six now and a sassy little thing that didn’t know the meaning of the word disabled.
It was one of the many things I loved about that little girl. But her care wasn’t cheap, which left me constantly worrying about money.

Ian
, a lifelong martial
-
arts enthusiast, had introduced me to cage fighting a couple of years ago. It was a perfect fit.
The opportunity to earn f
ast money and tak
e
out my pent-up aggression all at once.
But it wasn’t enough.
And then my latest dumbass venture came along
. Rick had approached both
Ian
and I, but I was the only one hard up enough for cash to consider
it. Or the only one dumb enough, take your pick.
Ian
knew I was working for Rick, but didn’t want any of the details, so of course I hadn’t mentioned my late
-night
visit to the ER.

After getting
the
bill for
Lily’s latest
surgery, I realized it wasn’t
just
a well-paying job I
needed,
it was one that came with health insurance
,
too.
But i
f I could stick it out and film even a couple
of
videos, I’d have more than enough to pay the bill
.
T
hen I could focus on cleaning up my act and getting a real job, for Lily’s sake.

Realizing I was lost in my thoughts again,
Ian
cleared his throat. “Stop stressing
,
bro
. You
ge
t plenty of that
during the week
. We haven’t been out in God knows how long, and since you have a babysitter for Lil tonight, we need to make good use of this time.”

“Yeah?
And how do we do that?”
Hitting the gym for a late workout session,
followed by a hot shower and my bed sounded like a perfectly good use of my time.
I didn’t even think I was capable of catching a buzz
at the moment
.

“For starters, we need to make getting some pussy priority number one.”

I shook my head, not about to explain to him that tomorrow I’d be getting plenty of that on set.
And with that bill hanging over my head, I sure as shit needed to perform this time.

Ian
tipped his head toward a booth across the room.
“And I think you’re in luck, bro. Those girls over there are staring at you.”

I turned from the bar, drawing my beer up to my lips as I scanned the room.
With a jolt of surprise, I spotted t
he
pretty little
nurse from the other night
,
seated in a booth with a couple of friends.

What the hell?

The other woman at the table
waved me over.

“Do you know them?” he asked.

“Yeah.
Sorta
.”
I threw a few bills on the counter and
told
Ian
I’d see him later
.
I sauntered over to where they sat.

“Hey there, sexy,”
Alexa’s
friend said, trailing her fingers down my forearm. “Saw your website. That shit was hot.”

My eyes flew to Alexa’s. She’d told her friends about what I did?
And what…
Googled
me?
“Alexa?”

She blushed and bit her bottom lip.
“Hi Cade.”

She wasn’t even going to deny it? I
supposed I had to
get used to the fact that pictures of my cock were splashed all over the Internet, and
that
videos would soon follow. I had a
film
shoot tomorrow
that I had to get through
. I’d
given
Rick
a piece of my mind
about hiring girls that looked so young, and he promised he’d pair me with Mollie, an ex
perienced pro I was sure to love,
if I gave it another shot.

“Have a seat, Cade.
Or is it Sebastian?” Alexa’s friend asked. “I’m MacKenzie by the way, and this is Tyson.” She motioned to the guy seated with them. He gave me a weak smile,
looking
just as uncomfortable as I
was
.

I remained standing.  “Call me Cade.”

Alexa’s
gaze
travelled down the length of my chest
and stomach, stopping just below
my belt buckle.
I
couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at my mouth, and she knew she had just been caught. She let out a huff
of breath,
folded her arms on the table and la
y
her head down to rest.

“Is she drunk?”
I slid in next to her.

MacKenzie nodded, proudly.
“Yep.
It’s her twenty-first birthday.”

“Happy birthday
.”

Alexa
peeked
one eye open and looked up at me.
“Thanks,” she grumbled before letting her eyes fall closed again.

“Perfect timing,” MacKenzie said, leaning forward on her elbows. “We were just discussing
Lex’s
birthday present.”

Alexa roused from her sleepy state and slapped a hand over
MacKenzie’s
mouth. “No,
Kenz
.”

MacKenzie dutifully removed Alexa’s hand and squeezed it, before placing it on the table. “
Hush. You should be thanking me right now.
You see, Alexa here is a virgin, and what better
birthday present
than to lose her virginity to someone skilled at
giving
female pleasure
?
I mean, you do this for a living.
”
She kicked up an eyebrow.
“Right?”

I pulled back a swig of my beer
. Wa
s she fucking kidding me? “
Well, yeah,
I might know a thing or two about that
..
.
”
I took another mouthful from my bottle to shut myself up. I mean, sure, nobody had ever complained before, but that didn’t mean I was
the
hotshot
porn star
they saw on the website
. Except they all
thought
I was. Hell.