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    I
can tell Laney tries very hard to contain her excitement.  She winks at
me. “I have the perfect place.”

    Laney
likes to shop and Laney likes lingerie.  We spend over two hours in this
huge store that is filled from floor to ceiling with tiny pieces of clothing
and some other things I’ve just recently read about.  She ends up with two
bags and I walk out with one very tiny bag.

    Once
we get back to the ranch, I sneak away to Laney’s room to hide my purchase and
then I hurry back downstairs before Dillon catches me.

    As
soon as I enter the kitchen, Dillon walks quickly over to me and places his
hands on my hips, pulling me towards him.  We’re so close I have to tilt
my head up to see him.  He looks down at me with those big brown puppy dog
eyes.  “How did it go?  Is everything okay?”

    “Um.”
 Does he want to know about what they did to me?  “I’m okay.  I
had to have an exam.  It hurt a little but I’m fine now.  She gave me
a prescription.”

    “What
for?” he asks with his eyebrows drawn with concern.

    “Birth
control.”

    “Oh.”

    I
can’t read his expression.  I wish I could rewind time a few minutes.
 Was that too much information? “They’ll call me with the results from my
exam in a few days.  She also gave me names of multivitamins and sleep
aids that she wants me to try.”

    “Okay.
 I can take you tomorrow.”  He bends and places a kiss on my
forehead.  “I’m gonna go out and help my dad on the grill.”

    “Okay.”

    Dillon
disappears out back while Laney and I gab in the kitchen while chopping up some
vegetables for a salad.  Daisy is singing at the table, swinging her legs
in her chair and coloring.

    “Amy,
some of my girlfriends and I try to get together once a month for dinner.
 You know?  Like a girl’s night out.  You’re welcome to come.
 We usually just a pick a place around Denver and meet there.  Maybe
Dillon can drive you down and hang out with Caiden and Lily while we go out.
 It would be good for you to get out of here every once in a while.”

    “I’d
love that.”

    “Awnt
Amy!  Come see what I colaw,” Daisy says proudly, holding up a piece of
paper with both hands and bouncing up and down on her butt in her chair.

   “Who is
that?”

   “That
you!”  She points with her little finger to a stick figure dressed in a
pink triangle.  “And that Mommy, Gwandpa, and Unco Dewin!  It fow
you!”

   “Me?
 I love it Daisy.  Thank you.”  I have to blink the tears away
otherwise, they will just keep coming.  Too much is happening too fast.
 It all seems too good to be true.

I sit next to her and grab a
crayon.  I colored a lot when I was little.  I draw a picture of a
stick figure with bouncy curls and a big smile and write Daisy’s name at the
top.

   “There.
 That’s you!”  I hand her the picture and she giggles.

    “It
yook just wike me!”

    “It
does.”  I laugh.

   Laney and
I dress the table with plates, napkins and silverware.  Ray and Dillon
come in with a plate of meat from the grill and place it on the table with the
salad we made and a loaf of bread.  We all gather around to get seated,
and I start to feel the tears again along with a swell in my throat.  I
never imagined this would happen to me. A simple dinner with a family.  I
get overwhelmed with emotion, but desperately try to hold it back.
 Thankfully Ray starts talking business and distracts me from my thoughts.

     “Tell
me about Mr. Hanson,” Ray asks Dillon as he cuts into his steak.

   “So, he
called the other day and asked a bunch of questions about the ranch and then
asked if he could come for a tour and see if it’s something he’d be interested
in.”

    “That
sounds promising.  Good news.”

   “I’m
hoping he’s interested and then spreads the word.  We need new business.
 With Amy here now helping, I can start focusing on pulling more clients
in.  I’m hoping this Mr. Hansen is a start.”

    “This
steak is so good,” I practically moan but try to control myself.  It melts
in my mouth.

    I
can see Dillon from the corner of my eye smirking at me.  He understands
my love for food now.  As I’m chewing the steak and tasting every bit of
flavor, I feel his hand on my thigh under the table.  I glare at him and
he gives me a squeeze and then moves his hand down to my knee and rests it
there.

    “So,
Amy. I know Dillon thanks you plenty for all the work you do all around here.”
 My face immediately turns bright red.  “I just wanted to say thank
you as well.  The guest house looks really nice.  All the cleaning up
you did.”

    “Thanks.”

    Dillon
sets his fork down and turns towards me.  “I was going to talk to you
about it later, but since we’re on the topic, I just wanted to tell you that
the work you do is the work of a full-time employee.  I want to add you to
payroll so you’ll have money to……buy your books and shit.”  He waves his
hand around.

    “Sit!”
Daisy yells.

    “Dillon!”
 I scold him.

    “It’s
not Dillon, Caiden says it all the time.  She got it from him.”
 Laney rolls her eyes.

    “You
don’t have to pay me Dillon.”

    “You
earn it Amy.  You work hard.  We’ll just have to figure out how to
get your social security card and then work on getting you a driver’s license.
 I’ll just pay you cash for now.”

    I
thought about my social security card many times.  I want to be someone.
 I want to have identification.  

    “Thanks.
I like the idea of being able to earn my keep.  I won’t feel like I’m
taking advantage.”

    Dillon
squeezes my knee to get my attention.  “You’re not taking advantage.
 I like having you here,” he whispers in my ear.

   “I tiyud.”
 Daisy says rubbing at her eyes.

    “I’m
going to lay her down upstairs.”  Laney takes a sleepy Daisy up the stairs
and it dawns on me that they will be sleeping in Laney’s room.

    “Nighty
night Dais!”

    “Well,
I think she has the right idea.  I think I’m going to retire, leave you
young kids to do what you do.  See you in the morning.”

    “Night
Dad.”

    “Night
Ray.”  I smile and give him a small wave.  As soon as he disappears
up the stairs, I turn to Dillon.  “Dillon?  Where am I sleeping,” I
whisper.

   “With me.”
 He winks.

    “Really?”
 Part of me is very excited.  The other part becomes very nervous.
 I’ve never slept in his bed.  It’s been a while since he stayed with
me in Laney’s room and we weren’t intimate at that time.

    “Are
you uncomfortable with that?”  He puts his arm around me and studies my
face.  

   “No.
 I guess not.”

    “If
you’re uncomfortable, I can sleep on the couch.”

    “No.
 I want to.”  I chew on my lip as I peek up at him.  

    “Relax
Amy.  You’re overthinking.”  He pulls my swollen bottom lip from my
teeth and then lightly caresses it with the tip of his finger.

    “Sorry.”
 

    “Don’t
be sorry.  Come on, let’s clean up.”  He gives me a chaste kiss on
the cheek.

    We
clean up the dishes, turn the lights out, and lock up the house.  Dillon
grabs my hand and leads me upstairs to his room.  His room is the master
bedroom of the house.  It takes up the entire back side and has an
attached master suite.  The other two bedrooms are at the front of the
house.  The stairway comes up the middle with a loft space surrounding it.
 His room is huge with French doors that open to a balcony overlooking the
rolling hills and mountains.  You can almost see the lake through the
trees.

    “It’s
so beautiful,” I whisper, gazing out the French doors.  The moon is full,
casting a soft glow over the hills and mountain tops. It looks like a painting.

    Dillon
walks up behind me wrapping his arms around my belly and resting his chin on my
shoulder.  “You are even more beautiful.”

    I
hug his arms to me and we rock side to side, just admiring the view and
listening to the quiet of the night.

    “I
have something for you.  I was waiting for the right time to give it to
you.”

   “What is
it?”  I turn quickly in his arms, barely able to hold in my excitement.

   “A gift.”

   “A gift?
 For me?”  Maybe he should wait.  Today has been too much, I’m
not sure if I can stand any more sentimental gestures.

    He
opens up his closet and he reaches his hand to the very top and fishes around
for something.  He pulls down a flat rectangular shaped object wrapped in
shiny silver paper and a pink bow.

    “Come
sit.”  He pats the bed.  I crawl up and sit in the middle with my
legs crossed and bounce excitedly.  I’ve never received a wrapped gift
before, except for the candy and flowers Dillon gave to me.  My mother
would sometimes surprise me with a new toy from the box, but never anything
wrapped in shiny paper.  The anticipation of opening it is killing me.

   Dillon
stands there holding it in his hands with an amused smile on his face.
 He’s enjoying me acting like a little girl waiting impatiently for my
gift.

    “Dillon!!”
 I squeal.

    He
laughs and places it in my lap.  I try to take my time.  I pull on
the ribbon, watching it come undone and fall into my lap, and then I very
carefully run my finger along the seam of the paper where it’s taped.  I
pull the paper off and tears immediately flood my eyes, spilling over onto my
cheeks.  I’m speechless.  I bring both hands to my face and sob into
them.

    “Don’t
cry.”  I hear Dillon say as the bed dips next to me and his arm wraps
around my shoulder pulling me to his side.

   “I can’t
believe you did this for me,” I say with my hands still over my face.

   “Do you
like it?”  I remove my hands from my face and hold the journal in both of
my hands.  It’s absolutely the best gift anyone could ever give me.
 It looks old.  It’s a dark sepia colored hand-made leather bound
journal with a leather strap that wraps around it.  It’s filled with
hand-torn fine art paper.  It is absolutely amazing.

    “I
love it.  I love it so much.  You have no idea how much this means to
me.  Thank you.”  I lunge into his arms and we both fall back on the
bed.

    “I
know you spent a lot of time writing in your journal before and you sounded
crushed when you told me about your mother taking it from you.  I just wanted
you to be able to write your thoughts down again.”

    I
lay in the curve of his body with my head on his chest as he runs his fingers
through my hair. I think about all the things I want to write down right now.
 I want to write down all the emotions I felt today and over the last few
weeks. I want to write about my feelings for Dillon.  I want to write down
my biggest fears and my greatest hopes.  My dreams for the future.

   Dillon
gently moves me off of his chest so he can get off of the bed.  He digs
through his dresser drawer and hands me one of his t-shirts to sleep in and
then hands me a pen from his dresser.  “Go ahead.  I know you’re
dying to.”

    I
smile big at him, jump from the bed, and run to the bathroom, changing quickly
into the shirt he gave me to sleep in, and then hop back onto the bed.
 Propping the pillows up behind my back so I can lean against them, I pull
my knees up to rest my journal on them and twirl the pen across my bottom lip
as I organize my thoughts.  Then I start to write like a crazy person.

    Dillon
strips down to his boxers and climbs onto the bed next to me, laying on his
side, propped up with his elbow just watching me.  His head rests near my
hip while his hand caresses the back of my thigh as I write. I write about
Dillon.  Everything about Dillon.  A mix of emotions bubble up inside
of me as I write my feelings down.  His fingers tickling the back of my
thigh start to become more sensual.  I look down at him and see the same
emotions reflecting back in his eyes.  Desire, need and love?

    “I
don’t want to wait seven days,” I say with a sigh.

    “What
do you mean?”

    “It
takes seven days for the pill to work.”

    “I
wasn’t…”

    “I
want to.”  I set my journal down on the nightstand as he pulls my knee toward
him which spreads my legs wide.  He kisses the top of my knee as his hand
trails down my inner thigh to my damp underwear.  His eyes still focused
on mine, he slides his hand into the side of my underwear and strokes me with
his finger.  I clutch the back of his head as he slides his finger deep
inside me. I lift my hips, pushing him in deeper.  Not wasting any time,
he slides a second finger in, and then a third, stretching me.  My lips
part, as I exhale and I squeeze my eyes closed.  He pumps his fingers in
and out a couple of times, and I become extremely wet.