His Mistress (32 page)

Tobias moved back to his desk to pen a quick note to Smythe. The man would get him the answers he needed in a matter of days, and Turner’s trial was set for less than a month from now. The sound of his office door opening made Tobias release a quiet sigh of resignation. It was going to be one of those days when everyone and their mother came for a visit. Tobias dropped his pen and turned to greet his latest visitor.

His heart slammed into his chest with the force of a sledgehammer and drove the air out of his lungs. Jane stood in the open doorway studying him with an intensity that tugged his muscles taut as a bowstring poised to release its arrow. As his brain resumed control of his body, he scowled at her. Bloody hell, the woman had lost her mind. The East End wasn’t a walk along the Serpentine in Hyde Park.

“Jane,” he rasped. “You shouldn’t be here without an escort.”

“I wasn’t foolish enough to come alone, Tobias,” she rebuked him with a slight roll of her eyes. “I thought you might like lunch.”

Her response made Tobias reach for his pocket watch to check the time. It was almost noon. He couldn’t lie and say he’d already eaten. His message to Smythe. Tobias’ brain latched onto a new escape plan. He’d simply tell her he had an errand. He’d insist on seeing her out of the East End, and then he’d find Smythe. He swallowed hard to dislodge the knot in his throat.

“Actually, you’ve caught me at a bad time. I was just about to run an errand. But I’ll escort you home before I do so,” he said.

“I’m certain your message can wait for an hour while you eat then you can see me home and tend to your errands.” Jane’s mouth curved in a wry smile as she dismissed his excuse and turned back toward the outer office with a small wave of her hand. “You can bring the basket in here, Albert.”

She stepped aside to allow her footman to enter with a large picnic basket. Jane instructed the burly man to set it on the corner of Tobias’ desk, which short of the floor was the only free space available in his office. Tobias met Jane’s eyes as she nodded her head slightly toward the footman in a silent affirmation that she’d not come to his office without an escort.

“Thank you, Albert, you and Joseph may return to the house. Mr. Lynsted will see me home.” The footman bowed then left the office. As the door closed behind the servant Jane turned her attention back to Tobias.

“I saw Sir Arthur last night at the Leighton affair. He remarked that he was concerned you’d not been eating.” She removed her hat and stuck her hat pin in the crown before her gaze swept over him from head to foot. “So I decided to bring you lunch.”

“While I appreciate—”

“Surely, you’re not about to refuse to eat when Mrs. Shelton went to the trouble of fixing those chicken watercress sandwiches you complimented her on the last time you were at Culverstone House.”

Guilt wrapped its claws around him at the soft note of rebuke in her voice. Tobias realized she wasn’t about to let him escape. Deep down he knew he didn’t want to. With a grunt of irritation he gestured toward one of the chairs facing his desk. Amusement curved her lips as she set aside her hat and opened the basket. She lifted out a small platter of sandwiches, and stared down at Tobias’ cluttered desktop then looked up at him with an imperious quirk of her eyebrow. His mouth twisted in exasperation he cleared a space for her.

“Thank you.” A mysterious smile curved her lips as she expressed her gratitude.

Without another word she proceeded to unload the wicker basket. As she spread the meal out on the desk, Tobias couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her gown was the vivid blue of a robin’s egg, and it clung to her body as if specifically designed to entice a man to explore her curves. It was precisely what he wanted to do, but he knew well enough to resist temptation.

Jane handed him a plate with two small chicken sandwiches and a hardboiled egg. As he took the plate from her, she poured him a small tankard of wine. The moment his fingers wrapped around the metal cup, her hand brushed over his. Tobias suppressed a groan at the heat the small touch stirred in his groin. The woman could push him to the edge with little to no effort at all.

The contented expression on her face said the touch had been intentional, and the determination in her dark blue eyes said lunch was simply a precursor to something else she had planned. Tobias scowled at his food for a moment before he took a vicious bite out of a sandwich. It was the first real meal he’d had in days, and he couldn’t help enjoying the tasty food the Culverstone cook had prepared. He raised up his half-eaten sandwich with a nod of approval.

“It’s quite good. I hope you’ll send my compliments to Mrs. Shelton.”

“Of course,” she murmured. “Although you can always make a point to tell her yourself the next time you come to the house.”

There was a soft chastisement in her words, but he didn’t bother to answer it. Tobias lifted his cup from the desk to wash down his food with the Chardonnay she’d poured. In the back of his mind he longed to down one or more bottles of the alcohol if only to dull the effect Jane was having on his senses. Beneath that tempting dress was a body designed for worshipping, and he wanted to pay homage by kissing every inch of her. Disgusted by his inability to control his desire where Jane was concerned, Tobias grunted and took another bite of his sandwich.

Cup in hand, Jane took a sip of the white wine as her gaze swept around the office then leaned forward to peruse one of the documents on his desk. Her head tilted to read the paper, allowing Tobias to study her profile for a long moment. When her gaze suddenly fluttered upward to meet his, his cock stirred in his trousers. Christ Jesus, the woman only had to look at him and he was eager to fall in line with her commands if only to be near her. A sudden image of Jane lying amidst his papers with her dress frothing up over her hips filled his head. Tobias quickly discarded the enticing picture and looked away from her for a brief moment. As he met her gaze again, her smile made him think Jane knew exactly what he’d been thinking. She didn’t say a word as she returned to studying his work space.

“You must take great satisfaction in your work here,” she said softly. Relief barreled through him as he managed to regain control of his senses. At least he was on solid ground when it came to discussing his work in the East End.

“When I succeed it’s quite satisfying,” he said with a nod.

“I envy you,” Jane said with a pensive frown on her face. “I’ve rarely been allowed to think for myself, let alone have a cause to be passionate about as you do here.”

“And if you could have a cause, what would it be?”

What he really wanted to know was how she’d become a member of
La Maison des Plaisirs Sombres
, but that was a slippery slope he wasn’t about to tread. So he’d settled for the least dangerous topic. Curiosity made him study her intently. She glanced at him in surprise before she looked around his office again. After a long moment, she clasped her hands in front of her and stared down at her entwined fingers.

“I think I would like to do something with children.” Jane darted a look at him as if to determine whether he was going to laugh at her. “A school perhaps? I’m sure there is a need for education.”

“There’s always a need for education. Experience has taught me education or a skill is the only thing that can keep one from going hungry,” he said with a frown as his past flashed in front of his eyes.

“You say that as if you went hungry as a child.” It was obvious his response had surprised her, and he bit down on the inside of his cheek. How was it she had the ability to make him confess everything to her? Her instincts were those of a well-skilled Lady. If she’d not shared with him that he’d been the first man to serve her, Tobias would have been convinced she’d been bringing men to their knees for a long time. It was disconcerting because he knew he was at her mercy simply of his own volition. The realization made him instantly raise his guard.

“I was born in the East End.” His jaw tightened as the old darkness viciously dug its claws into him until he wanted to shout out from the pain. “My father spent most of his time in the local pub, while my mother was a laundress. She worked long hours to pay my father’s bar bill and our rent. There wasn’t much left for anything else.”

“Dear God,” Jane whispered. “I’m so sorry, Tobias.”

“I neither want nor need your pity, Jane,” he said in a voice devoid of emotion.

“I don’t pity you,” she said gently. “I only feel a deep sadness that you, or anyone, should have gone hungry because of another’s penchant for drink.”

Jane leaned forward to touch his hand, which was gripping his tankard as if his life depended on it. The moment her fingers brushed across his, Tobias jerked away from the touch, and his empty cup fell onto its side.

“Don’t,” he snarled as Jane set his cup upright.

“Why?” She challenged him in a tone of voice that was all too familiar.

“You already know why.”

Tobias launched himself out of his chair and stared down into her startled features. Her surprised quickly vanished as her lovely pink mouth tightened with determination. Sapphire eyes narrowed, she drew in a deep breath as if she were feeling impatient and exasperated.

“Actually, I
don’t
know why,” she said firmly. Clearly unintimidated by his towering presence, she stared up at him in annoyance. “Perhaps you could clarify it for me.”

“I’ll not confess my sin a second time.”

“What sin,” she snapped. “The last I knew, self-defense is neither a sin nor a crime. Your father killed your mother and would have killed you if you’d not protected yourself.”

Tobias stared at her for a long moment before he shook his head and turned away from her. He crossed the office to the table that lined one wall with its stacks of file folders. His fingers thumbed through several sheets of paper in an attempt to keep her from seeing how badly his hands were shaking. Anger seeped its way into every pore of his body as he remembered his mother’s last breath. The tenuous grasp he maintained on the age old fury filled him with fear. He couldn’t afford to lose control of his anger when she was so close to him.

“My sin wasn’t that I killed my father, it was that I failed to save my mother from the bastard,” he said coldly.

“For God’s sake, Tobias,” she exclaimed passionately as her chair scraped loudly against the wood floor. “You were eight years old. A child. And whether you believe it or not, you save her every day.”

“What the fuck is
that
supposed to mean,” he snarled and whirled around to face her.

The anger inside him was a wave crashing against the shore with increasing force. He didn’t move as he scowled at her from across the room. Jane glared back at him, completely unafraid in the face of his growing outrage. She was strong, but if his fury became uncontrollable, he didn’t want to be near her. Still, in the deep recesses of his mind, he experienced admiration and pride at the way she faced him so fearlessly. If only he were worthy of her. He wasn’t.

“What do you do on a daily basis?” she demanded.

The question took him so completely by surprise his anger subsided to a low simmer as he saw a fierce determination spark in her sapphire gaze. He shook his head in confusion. Jane moved to his side so quickly he was unable to avoid her clutching his arm. With a sharp jab of her finger, she pointed to the files on the table behind him then the papers on his desk.

“For every one of those people you save, you save not only your mother’s memory, but you’re saving yourself as well.”

Jane’s fingers dug deep into his arm in a silent demand that he not argue with her. Tobias stared down at her, stunned by the strength of conviction he saw shining in her beautiful eyes. God help him, he almost believed her. He wanted to see himself as Jane saw him. Was it possible she was right? Had he been doing his penance for his mother all along without realizing it? Uncertainty plagued him, and he shook his head slightly with doubt.

“What is it that really frightens you, Tobias?” she whispered as her hand suddenly caressed his cheek. Instantly, he jerked away from her touch, and her expression softened as she stared into his eyes. “Are you afraid you won’t be able to keep
me
safe?”

Sweet Jesus. The woman had to have the
sight
where he was concerned. How could she see so deep into his heart? All he wanted was to drag her into his arms and bury himself in the sweet jasmine scent of her. He wanted to keep her safe from everything that might ever harm her. He wanted to care for her. Cherish her. Love her.

His gut twisted so violently he almost bent over in pain as he came face to face with the one thing he’d not planned on when it came to Jane. His gaze met hers and something shimmered in her dark blue eyes that scared him almost as much as knowing he’d fallen in love with her.

Tobias deliberately shut down each and every one of his senses. It took every ounce of control he possessed, but he managed to keep himself focused. Cold, pragmatic thinking was the only thing that would save him from making matters worse where Jane was concerned.

“The subject is no longer up for discussion,” he bit out between clenched teeth.

“Avoiding the topic won’t make the fear go away, Tobias,” she said with a persistence that was meant to eat away at his resolve. God help him. He wanted to simply bolt from the office and leave her to fend for herself. As if he’d let that happen. He’d give his life for her. With a vicious gesture, he shoved a hand through his hair as he bowed his head in frustration at her tenacity.

“Enough, Jane,” he said wearily. He raised his head and glared at her.

“Why is it you always throw up a wall between us when I’m close to reaching a part of you that you want to keep hidden?” Jane pressed her hand into his chest. Fire pulsed from her fingertips through his clothing into his skin and a savage hunger surged through his blood. He closed his eyes for a brief moment in an attempt to break the spell she was casting over him.

“You’ve already exposed my secrets, Jane.” He kept his response cool and detached. It didn’t stop her eyes from darkening with a perception that made him realize what a formidable Lady she really was.