I Hope You Find Me (23 page)

“This is Jackson.” I paused and looked over
my shoulder at him, while he watched me with an expression of awe
on his face. “We knew each other years ago.” I smiled at him,
before looking back at Fin and Connor, who quickly looked away.

“No shit,” Fin said. His voice was flat and
completely monotone…he wasn’t happy.

Without letting go of my hand, Jacks moved
around me, taking the few steps towards both the guarded men and
stuck his hand out to Fin first.

“Hi, call me Jacks. She always has.” His gaze
settled on me again and he winked.

Fin hesitated and narrowed his eyes at me
before pumping his hand once. Connor folded his arms at his chest
and nodded curtly at Jacks who raised his eyebrows but returned the
nod. Zoey pulled against Connor and he let her leash slip from his
grip and she wriggled around my feet, staring anxiously at the
newcomers, not sure who she should look at first. I patted her head
and spoke soothingly to her.

Sappy pine needles had stuck to her belly and
I bent to tug them off her dark coat as a man spoke from the
gawking group by Connor’s truck. My skin crawled as I recognized
his slow, teasing voice without turning around.

“Well, isn’t this a cute family reunion?” the
man mocked.

I closed my eyes tightly and unconsciously
squeezed Jacks hand so hard, his knuckles ground together.
Matt.

***

I heard Connor curse under his breath while
Zoey barked loudly as Matt walked the short distance from the truck
to the woman who had been with Jacks before I came ungraciously
thrashing out of the woods. She blinked slowly at Matt when he
approached her and loosely draped an arm around her shoulder as if
she had never seen him before. Then she shuddered, and by the time
she returned her gaze to Jacks, her expression was icy.

“How...where...?” The words stumbled out of
my mouth and Matt raised his hand up to cut me off.

“You mean, how did we find you?” he said with
a broad smile on his face, but steel in his eyes. “We followed your
notes of course.”

Jacks moved his fingers in my hand and for
the first time I realized how tightly I was holding on to him. I
relaxed and straightened my shoulders.

“That’s how you got here...you went to my
house?” I looked up at Jacks.

“Of course. I would have found you sooner,
but I came from Portland.” He smiled down at me. His green eyes
twinkling like emeralds.

“Portland? Is that where you were
living?”

“Yeah, at least for the last two years or
so.” He swallowed hard and then leaned down by my ear and
whispered, “Riley, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry about the kids...” He
stopped talking abruptly, his voice catching with emotion.

I stared at him, unable to process his words.
All I could say back was, “Oh.”

“Right. Okay, this isn’t awkward for the rest
of us at all,” Matt said with a wave behind him at the small crowd
of people gathered on the trail.

“Oh,” I said again.

Fin cleared his throat. “So, what can we do
for you?”

Matt laughed harshly, “Who are you, the guy
in charge of this place, or something?”

With no hesitation, Fin replied, “Yep. What
do you want?”

Finally snapping out of my haze, I looked at
Connor, who had half-turned towards Fin, an angry expression on his
face. I didn’t hear what the two men said, but when Fin looked back
up, he deliberately looked beyond Matt at the rest of the
group.

“If anyone is armed, now’s a good time to say
so.” Fin shifted slightly, widening his stance, making his tall
frame even bulkier. I remembered the pistol he had tucked in the
back of his waistband. I didn’t have to reach behind me to know
that my own had fallen out somewhere in the trees. I sighed,
cursing myself silently.

“Rambo, we’re all armed,” Matt said
dryly.

“Hey, we don’t want any trouble.” An
average-sized man with perfectly trimmed brown hair stepped out
hesitantly, raising his hands up in front of him. Though his voice
sounded confidant and calm, his hands were shaking slightly. “We
met up in the city, three small groups of us, and Matt knew Jacks
was looking for you. So, it made sense to come out this way. To try
and find you.” He smiled, straining to pull his thin lips into a
smile. “And we did.”

For the first time, Connor spoke. His voice
was flat as he aimed his question in Matt’s direction. “I thought
you and Mariah were on your way to Vegas.”

The Hispanic beauty beneath Matt’s arm
flinched slightly after he jerked his arm back to his side and
strode right towards Connor.

“
What did you say?
” he hissed.

I raised my hands up at Matt as he pushed
past me. Fin turned sideways, his right arm reaching to his hip and
just as his elbow bent behind him where he kept his gun, Jacks
lunged forward, grabbing Matt’s shoulders and jerking him downward.
Matt hit the ground hard on his back, and gulped in a ragged
breath.

Jacks spun in the dirt to face Matt and
dropped a knee into his chest. “Enough! Matt, enough!” he yelled
into Matt’s reddened face, an arm across his throat, pinning him
down.

“
Get off! Get off me!
” Matt growled
hoarsely.

“Stop!” Jacks leaned further into Matt’s
chest, causing him to wheeze. “You fight with everyone, Matt! You
have to
stop
.”

“
Get. Off
.” Matt continued to struggle
underneath Jacks.

“I’ll get off when you calm the hell down.
Remember what happened last time, Matt,” he said back.

Both men were breathing heavy, and though
Matt had a solid college-boy build, he was no match for Jacks’
taller and thicker frame. Matt gave one more feeble kick before
stilling.

“Okay, okay. When I get up, you’re going to
walk away. Understand?” Jacks said in a scolding tone.

When Matt didn’t answer, Jacks leaned into
him again, “
Understand?
”

Matt finally nodded and slowly Jacks released
him. He sprang up to his feet facing Connor and Fin.

“You don’t say her name,
you got it?
”
He pointed at Connor, hissing through his clenched teeth. “And you
stay the hell away from me.” He ran his dusty hands over the front
of his green jacket and glared at me before stomping away from us,
and it wasn’t until he disappeared around the front corner of the
main building that I realized both my hands were clamped over my
mouth. Jacks stood up and casually put an arm around my waist
before waving the rest of the group over.

He wiped a thin layer of sweat off of his
brow and smiled down at me, pulling me into his thick pullover
sweater. I breathed in the familiar, musky scent of cedar soap
coming from his body. Memories of the two of us spending days
between the sheets and taking long walks along the beach flooded
through me. We hadn’t spoken in over two years, but standing next
to him, the time felt erased. As the six newcomers gathered around
us, Connor and Fin silently stood their ground.

“Everyone, this is Riley.” He stopped and
hugged me close to him before adding with a chuckle, “The first and
last girl to break my heart.”

I gulped down the rock that seemed to have
found its way into my throat and laughed nervously, thinking about
the wild affair Jacks and I had shared in college. I didn’t want to
look at anyone so I let my gaze wander upward. In the sky, coasting
high above the lodge, just inches from the tree tops, an eagle flew
in wide circles. I blinked into the brightness of the new day and
watched it arc away from us, flying over the woods, and was
reminded of a day I picked my daughter up from kindergarten years
before.

Mommy, if you could be any animal in the
whole world, what would it be?

Any animal? Wow, that’s a tough one. I have
a lot of favorites.

Would you be a frog?

No! Too slimy!

Would you be an elephant?

No! How would I scratch my nose?

Mommy, elephants don’t have noses, they have
trunks!

Oh. Hmm. I guess I would want to be a
bird.

A bird! Why?

Because, I can’t think of anything more
exciting than flying.

But, Mommy…wouldn’t you be scared?

No way, birds are made to fly. Plus then, I
could follow you wherever you go.

***

Connor and Fin stood together in the far
corner, watching the group with wary and untrusting eyes. Connor
hadn’t spoken to me since I ran out of the woods, and even inside
the tighter quarters of the lodge lobby, he refused to look at me.
He kept his face void of emotion, his eyes transfixed coolly on the
bare wall across the room. He tugged at the loose cuff of his shirt
so incessantly, I almost begged him to stop before he unraveled the
whole sleeve.

Everyone had followed Jacks into the building
except for Matt. We didn’t see where he went, but he didn’t take a
vehicle, which meant he was on foot. I doubted he would get far.
While the group milled around the room, flipping through the lodge
brochures, chatting quietly, I made my way over to Fin and Connor.
It was the first time since I had hugged Jacks that his arm was not
around me.

“Fin, can we talk?” I said quietly. My hands
were jammed tightly into my pockets, much like his.

“What is there to talk about? We had a
plan--you didn’t follow it,” Fin said, with a harsh edge to his
voice. He was looking over my shoulder at the people gathered
together behind me. Someone laughed and Connor glanced around the
room for the first time.

“Look,” I started, irritation creeping into
my voice. “This wasn’t planned. Someone we know showing up. How was
I supposed to react?”

Fin shrugged and leaned against the wood
paneling on the wall and stretched his neck to the side until it
made a popping sound. I grimaced.

“You must have a lot of questions,” I said to
Connor. He didn’t respond.

I waited until the silence between the three
of us threatened to choke the oxygen from the entire room before I
spoke again. “Okay, fine. If the two of you want to pout, pout. Act
like children. I don’t care. But I’m going to invite them to
stay.”

Fin flashed his hazel eyes angrily at me, but
said nothing. I didn’t even bother to look at Connor before walking
away. I was upset at their reaction to Jacks. It was unfair that
someone I knew not only survived, but actually
found
me, and
I couldn’t celebrate it without pangs of guilt rushing through
me.

I turned to the group and cleared my throat.
“So, there are rooms here in the main building and some more
lodging near the lake. If you were planning on staying for a little
while, I mean.” I watched the small group look around the room at
each other.

The man with the neat brown hair and matching
oval-shaped eyes spoke up first. “Hi, my name’s Winchester. I’m an
accountant…was an accountant.” He stepped forward and shook my hand
firmly. His skin was soft and uncallused and his nails were trimmed
just as neatly as his hair. He seemed too delicate and clean to be
surrounded by trees and dirt.

“Hi, I’m Riley.” I laughed nervously. “But I
guess you already figured that out.” I smiled at Winchester, who
seemed genuinely happy to have found us. He pointed behind him and
gestured for some of the others to step forward. The striking
Latina was first.

“I’m Ana,” she said, with a strong and syrupy
accent. She smiled sweetly as she limply shook my hand. When she
turned to walk away, she flipped her long dark hair off her
shoulders and I caught her rolling her eyes.

A stocky, middle-aged man with a portly
stomach and dark features was next to greet me.

“Hey there, Riley. You can call me Skip.” He
smiled broadly, showing a set of crooked but white teeth. His full
head of fluffy salt-and-pepper hair looked as if it spent most of
its life underneath a ball cap. He patted me on the shoulder before
pumping my hand vigorously. He reminded me of my best friend’s
father, and I liked him immediately.

Skip moved aside for a tall and overweight
man somewhere in his late twenties. His round face was flushed
pink--a color I realized later
never
went away. His light
blonde hair was short on the sides and buzzed flat on the top, and
he was wearing an over-sized pair of stained camouflage hunting
pants with a too-tight forest green t-shirt that lifted at the
waist-line, exposing his hairy belly when he moved. His hand was
rough and clammy and his breath smelled of cheap beer when he
introduced himself with a thick southern accent.

“I’m Bobby.”

I smiled at him before he turned and shuffled
back to the other side of the room, hitching up his loose pants as
he walked. I saw enough to know he wasn’t wearing anything under
them, and I looked away quickly.

A lanky man with stringy, shoulder-length
brown hair and a beak-like nose was leaning on the counter,
fingering something small when Skip gestured to him with a wave of
his hand.

“That there’s Alan.”

He straightened his glasses with two fingers
and nodded curtly before sizing me up. I crossed my arms around my
chest when I caught him staring unabashedly at my breasts, but he
made no effort to look away.

Skip put one of his heavy hands across a
young girl’s shoulders. She was wearing a dark hoodie over her
head, obscuring most of her features.

She glanced at me cautiously when Skip said,
“And this little lady here is Kris.”

I smiled at her and she looked down to the
floor. I noticed a linear scar on the left side of her face that
ran the length of her jaw. It was pink, obviously still healing,
which told me it had happened after the city was ravaged with
illness. I did my best not to stare at her as I wondered what, or
who, had cut her face.

“Well, this is Connor.” I turned and gestured
to him, without making eye contact and he said a simple hello to
the group. “And this is Fin. He was the first here.” I smiled
weakly and he sighed heavily before grumbling out a hollow
hello.