Jesse's Soul (2) (24 page)

“The stress, Reid. She can’t…I can’t put her through this, it’s too hard on her. Not right now. Not today. It’s not one of her good days.”

Understanding washed over his boss’s face. “I know that, you know that. But it doesn’t matter. She won’t stop. This is her, Jess. She’ll fight, fight, and fight some more, but she won’t stop. She’ll have you on the line—“

“Fuck the bike! Fuck the whole damn race, Reid. I’m more worried about her than any stupi—“

“You love her don’t you, Jesse?”

Jesse hadn’t been yelling, but his frustration was still there, his words rushing out as shouted whispers through his still-clenched jaw. Reid’s question brought him to a screeching halt.

He turned to his dark-haired, fair, green-eyed beauty that had a sprinkling of the tiniest freckles across the bridge of her nose. The woman who made him laugh even when he was nervous, made him love when he thought it was hopeless. The woman who was working in complete silence and with the grace of a dancer. Her motions fluid, her focus on his bike. She had blocked out everything and everyone around her with the exception of Mike, and when she’d speak to him, it was soft and with the smallest hint of an Irish lilt.

Jesse noticed it was Mike by her side and not John. For her sake, he appreciated that John was standing by with the new engine, but without a bruised ego. The guy was a good mechanic, but he had a lot to learn when it came to being in Emery’s league. He was a bit cocky at times, and Jesse knew John rubbed Emery the wrong way. Still, he had asked her to be his mentor so she tried to keep her patience in check and show him what it took to become a great mechanic. The fact that it was Mike helping her told Jesse just how bad the situation was.

It was Mike, and the new guy Nick, that were the foundation for the team she was building, and that team was on their way to becoming unstoppable. But more so, he was grateful that they were stepping up to help
her. Although nothing had ever been said, the two men obviously sensed something was going on with her. Mike and Nick were the two that would get stuff done without her asking, they kept the work area the way she liked it, and it was very clear to Jesse they were going out of their way to keep her stress level down. Neither of them would ever overstep their boundaries by telling Emery to sit or relax, but Mike and Nick made sure they did as much of the work as she would allow.

With the calm and steadiness of a surgeon, she removed bolts from the bike and placed them on the tray Nick had set beside her. She glanced at Mike and without being asked, Jesse watched him look over her shoulder and tell her the exact time on the magnetic clock stuck to the side of the toolbox closest to them.

Tens of thousands of screaming fans could be heard round after round as riders were introduced. He heard his name called, the fans cheering even though he wasn’t on the track. Jesse should’ve gone down there, just to walk out on the dirt and wave, but there was no way in hell he was leaving Emery’s side. Reid must have known not to even bother asking him to do it.

“Jess?”

Watching her in amidst the controlled chaos, putting every bit of her soul into his bike, stretching herself to the limit…for him. He nodded. “Yeah, Reid—I do.”

Less than four feet away from her he stood, watching every move, every nuance, every breath she took, looking for signs that she was struggling again. Not with the damn bike but to
just stay conscious. She had had a shaky start this morning, the headache slammed into her from out of nowhere. They had gotten it under control finally, but now there sat her damn dinner…again. A bead of sweat trickled down her temple and for some reason that hurt Jesse more than if it had been a tear coming from her eye.

He heard his parents’ upbeat chatter as they were approaching from behind.

God…not now.

As much as he loved them, there couldn’t have been a worse time for them to show up. His family had always been what he had considered close. They were always there for each other, and he could count on his folks for anything. His childhood had been normal by old fashioned standards, and he’d had everything he’d ever needed.

Until he’d been in Pennsylvania at the Noland home. It was then he realized what had been missing, because in truth, before then, he didn’t know it existed. But the loud, rowdy rough-housing days in Pennsylvania were the best he’d ever known. The attitude of the Nolands—tell each other everything, love generously and welcome to the family with open arms—was just very different from the quiet and conservative home he grew up in.

He’d started sinking after the ordeal with Izzy, and
then Molly stepped in, making him promise to drive up and spend the long break with her and Carter on her parents’ property. Once she had his word, then she turned on her charm and begged Eli to join them as well.

James and Karen Noland owned over six hundred acres of
Pennsylvania countryside. It was quiet, beautiful, and exactly what he’d needed to put the guilt, shame, and hurt behind him. The way her grandma spoiled them all also helped a great deal. Just showing up out of the blue with a pan of brownies because she said she loved him as if he were her grandson too, meant more to him than he could ever explain in words.

They were all grown adults. However, when he, Eli, Carter and Molly were around each other, there were times it turned into junior high all over again. When Brody and Erin were out at the house
too, the noise and fun jumped to a whole new level.

With all of them there, the Noland’s kitchen was always loud and full of laughter. Molly had told him and Eli privately that her parents had wanted more kids and it never happened. It seemed like they were making up for that now, and it at least appeared like they loved it as much he, Carter and Eli did.

James had put them to work explaining the expansion and changes he wanted done to the track, although Jesse was pretty sure at the time it wasn’t anything James Noland needed. About halfway through the break, they were sitting around the kitchen table one evening, playing cards, and James casually offered to sell off pieces of his land to each of the guys. Convincing Molly had been the hardest part, but the three guys had all realized their dreams were coming true. Especially after mentioning to James and Brody their pipe dreams for the future after they retired from racing. The way details started coming together had the depressing thoughts of retirement wiped away with one man’s offer and a single conversation.

He lo
ved working on the property and the practical jokes that went along with it. Of the four boys, he was definitely the most conservative. But he’d loved it all the same. Now that he’d planned to make his home and life there, it would only be complete with Emery by his side.

The woman he was standing by watching and wishing there was something he could do to help. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he ran them through his hair, turning behind him to greet his parents. His mother’s forehead was creased and her eyebrow rose. Jesse immediately let his hands fall to his sides.

Janie tilted her chin.

Jesse had access to medical answers and had talked to his mother on a few occasions, running Emery’s symptoms by her, trying to get a feel for how serious things were. He shook his head. Understanding fell over his mother’s face.

Luckily for him, Jesse’s parents were perceptive people who instantly read the heaviness of the situation they’d literally just walked into. Holding his arm out, his mother stepped toward him and hugged him tight. His father, Kevin, clasped him on the shoulder as they turned to see the progress. Through a whispered conversation he explained what was going on.

“Where’s Ally? I thought she was coming too?” Jesse quietly asked.

“She stopped at the restroom on the way.” Kevin whispered.

“Speak of the devil,” Jesse said so
ftly as he let go of his mother. “How’s my baby sister…oh yeah, that’s right. Can’t call you a baby anymore now that you’re in college, huh?”

He was trying to tease her with their now familiar joke they had going since sh
e’d gotten her diploma last May, however, even Ally recognized his heart wasn’t in it.

“What’s wrong, Jess?”

Jesse lowered his voice back to whisper level and shook his head. “Don’t even ask.”

He stood with Ally by his side as Nick and Mike lifted the new engine into place. John wheeled the cart out of the way that held the bad engine, giving Emery and Mike the space they needed to put it back together. His dad and Reid were to his side and he only half concentrated on their conversation, something about it was fine in qualifying, but then it wouldn’t start when she checked it before they headed down for the start of the night. Even missing the ceremonies, there wasn’t a whole lot of time until he needed to be down in staging for his heat race.

Emery had her back to him, but he saw her flatten out both hands against the bike and lower her head. Jesse instantly took two steps toward her, and she must have sensed him behind her. She put her hand up to stop him from coming any closer. She rolled her neck and bent back down to finish her work, completely unaware that it wasn’t just him that had seen the spell. From the corner of his eye, Jesse caught the sick look on Reid’s face before he shut his eyes and lowered his head.

“Is she okay?” Ally asked, her voice shaking.

Glancing around his sister, Jesse needed to see his mother’s reaction. He was already getting more anxious each time he saw her put her fingertips to her temples or shut her eyes because she was dizzy. Now that he knew cancer was involved, the fear of it coming back haunted him. His mother’s face would tell him if he was right to worry.

Blank.

Are you fucking kidding me?

The steeled look of a medical professional. Where the hell was his emotional mother when he needed her? He needed to see a grimace, lines across her forehead, a forced smile or hell, a frown—something. A sign to lead him along, but nothing.

Cold, hard fear seeped through him unlike anything he’d ever felt before. A chill that he could feel running through his blood and it all settled in his stomach.

He clenched his jaw, willing himself not to throw up, then turned to his younger sister and lied. “She’s fine.”

Adoration lit her brown eyes up. “I love you, Jess, more than anything in the world, but you suck at lying. I’m a big girl now. Don’t sugar coat it, is there something I can do? Something’s wrong, and you look sick to your stomach,” she replied, her voice low but strung with distress.

Jesse squeezed Ally to his side and dropped a p
eck on top of her head. “Tell you later. Okay?”

She nodded in his hold
, and they went back to watching as Mike connected the exhaust and Emery did the gas line.

Emery stepped up on the peg of the bike and threw her leg over the seat. With her fingertips she pulled the kick start out and settled her right heel in place. Adjusting her weight so she was standing on the peg on the left side, Jesse saw her take a deep breath and with all her might push her right heel down to start the bike.

Nothing.

“Son of a bitch!” The first words she’d spoken whooshed out of her in complete anger.

Once again, Jesse started toward her only to be stopped a second time, this time by Reid. She tried again and then a third time. Reid’s grasp on his upper arm was the only thing holding him back from grabbing her off the bike.

“Come on baby, start for me,” Emery said soothingly to the bike, as if speaking to a young child. “You’ve got a new engine, let’s see how it works. You know you want to go race. I know you want to go race. Now”—with the last words out of her mouth, she kicked the starter as hard as she possibly could—“I…said…
start!”

The engine roared to life. The tears he’d been gripping on
to filled his eyes as he watched Emery collapse over the bike, her hand still revving the throttle. He didn’t even get one foot out in front of him before Reid jerked him back.

“She’s not done. Just wait.”

“But—“

Reid shook his head.

Emery had climbed down, shutting the bike off to get it off the stand. He knew she had some superstitions that he teased her about that made her seem even more Irish, like the fact she hadn’t put the seat on yet until they knew it was up and running completely, or that she was whispering soft words of encouragement to what was an inanimate object to most. To his woman, that bike had a soul. At her nod, Mike attached the seat and they started the process over again.

With Mike holding the bike, Emery stood up on the pegs and maneuvered her right heel on the starter again. “Now, don’t be a
bitch like you were a minute ago. You and I both know you want to win that race so start the first time, got it!”

Jesse heart stopped for a full minute, watching her take yet another deep breath before kicking the starter down with as much force as he could. The engine roared back to life again without any hesitation.

“That ‘a girl. Now go put my man on the podium, damn it.”

Mike handed her a hand towel after she shut it off once again and started to kick her leg over to get off. She didn’t even have the energy to cover up just how completely drained she was. She’d given him everything she had tonight. Reid let go of his arm and he got to her just in time to help her step to the ground. Turning in his arms, she sagged against him.