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Authors: Karen Anne Golden

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BOOK: Karen Anne Golden - The Cats That 03 - The Cats That Told a Fortune
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Katherine threw her a dirty look.  “And?” she asked defensively.

“I von’t
vork
with
k-k-kat
.”

“Mary, can I have a word?”  Katherine got up and led Mary into the atrium.  She said in a lowered voice, “My house is full of cats.”

Mary said with sudden energy.  “Bella barely speaks English.  She meant to say she’s allergic to cats.”

As if on cue, Bella sneezed again in the next room. 

Abby and Lilac looked down with feline disdain for the humans invading their territory.

“Okay, fine, but I plan on locking up the cats when the party takes place.  I’ll make sure the parlor is super clean so she won’t have an allergy attack.”

“Cool,” Mary said, walking back into the parlor.

Misha was eyeing the cloisonné collection that filled a glass-front cabinet.  “
Katsee, would you like to make a
bizz-
ness? I buy,” he said pointing at the vases.

“No,” Katherine said abruptly.  “Can we begin the meeting?”  She was getting a headache from being called the wrong name.

Mary began, “You mentioned in your email there’ll be cocktails before the dinner.  I suggest Bella read fortunes first.  This room will be perfect for that.  She likes to do readings individually.”

Colleen returned to the front of the house and came into the parlor.  “Hello!  I’m Colleen,” she declared, then asked Bella, “Do you use a crystal ball or read palms?”

Misha said to Bella something in Russian.  “Da,” Bella answered.  “Krystal ball and Kards.”

“Tarot cards?”
Colleen asked further.

Misha said, “Da.”

Mary explained.  “While the cocktails are served, Misha will be mingling with the guests.  He’ll perform several tricks, then take something from each person.  When he’s finished, he’ll give them to me and I’ll draw a scavenger’s hunt map.  Katz, does your printer have a copy feature?”

Katherine answered, “Yes, of course.  But can you clarify how Misha takes something from each person?”

Misha laughed with a deep bellow.  “I take
somezink
from you.”  He drew out of his jacket pocket Katherine’s cell phone.

“I’ll take that,” Katherine said quickly, snatching it.  “That’s amazing,” she said, returning the cell to her back pocket.  “I was pickpocketed and I didn’t even know it.”

“Katsee, it’s magic,” Misha said, taking a dramatic bow. 

Iris marched into the room with her tail hiked up.  She eyed the group suspiciously,
then trotted over to the Russian magician.  “Yowl,” she cried sweetly, collapsing on the man’s leg.

“Iris,” Katherine said, moving rapidly to pick her up, but Misha beat her to the punch.

The magician reached down, scooped Iris up, and cradled her in his arms. He then started cooing something in Russian to the seal-point Siamese, who seemed to be in a state of pure catly ecstasy.  With eyes crossed, Iris began purring loudly.

Katherine said worriedly, “Oh, please let me have her.”  The Russian kissed Iris on the nose, cooed something else in Russian, and then handed her to Katherine. 

Katherine held Iris close.  “Excuse me.  I’ll be right back,” she said.  She walked to her back office area and gently scolded Iris.  “You’re not supposed to do that with strangers.  What if he tried to hurt you?”  Iris gave Katherine a haughty look, and then let out a barrage of loud ‘yowls.’ 

“A little less conversation,” Katherine said, locking the sassy cat in the powder room. 

Returning to the parlor, Katherine said to Mary, “I don’t know how my guests will feel about being pickpocketed.  I think I should warn them in advance so if someone doesn’t want to participate, they’ll be exempted from the act.”

Mary agreed, “Sure thing.  Now while you’re having dinner, Misha and I will place each personal item in an envelope with the owner’s name.  Then I’ll seal it and assign a number, which will coincide with an approximate hiding place on the map.  I’ll use your printer to copy the map for each guest.  After I hide the items, we’ll take our leave.”

“Sounds fine to me,” Katherine said.  “Just make sure I have the maps.”

Mary continued, “Definitely!  So, I’ll expect payment before dinner.  Bella and Misha prefer cash.  Would that be a problem?”

“Cash it will be.”

“You’re going to have a wonderful party,” Mary said excitedly, running her hand through her hair.

Colleen, who had been quietly listening, spoke up, “How long will the scavenger hunt take?”

Mary spoke animatedly.  “I’d guess-
timate about two hours.  Generally, when there are twelve guests, each search takes ten minutes, give-or-take.”

Katherine said to Colleen, “I could call intermission mid-way and serve dessert.”

“Cool,” Colleen said.

Misha stood in the atrium and was eying a crystal Tiffany wine decanter with matching goblets.  He called to Katherine, “
Wanna make a
bizz
-ness? How much dollars?”

“No, again,” Katherine said, then to Mary.  “Another word,” she led Mary to the dining room.  She said firmly, “How much do you know about this man? 
Misha’s been casing the joint ever since he walked in.”

“Oh, I assure you.  They are honest people.  They’ve worked for me for two years now.  I’ve never had a complaint or had anything stolen.”

“Good to know.  Listen, I think this wraps things up,” Katherine said hastily.  “I’ll call –”

She was interrupted by Bella
shouting from the parlor.  “A v-v-vat,” the fortune teller screamed.  When Colleen saw what “a vat” was, she darted to the back of the house.

Katherine, Mary and Misha ran into the parlor.  “What’s wrong?” Katherine asked,
then observed Scout by the fireplace with her paw pressed down on a squirming black creature.  “Waugh!” Scout cried happily, with a delicious twinkle in her blue eyes.  Abra stood nearby.  Her whip-like tail was flicking back and forth in a state of feline excitement.  The Siamese looked up at Katherine with curious expressions on their brown masks as if to ask, “Why are you bothering us?  We’re having fun here.”

“Scout, let that bat go!” Katherine ordered.

Mary ran into the living room. “A bat!” she yelled.  Bella grabbed her capacious gypsy bag and fled the scene, slamming the front door behind her.  Through the parlor window, Katherine watched her half-running, half-waddling to the party planner’s red Mini Cooper. 

Mary returned to the parlor and stood uneasily, half-behind Katherine.

“Katsee, I get,” Misha volunteered.  He removed his leather jacket and moved toward Scout.  Scout lifted her paw and the bat flew up and seemed to bounce off the wall.  Abby and Lilac remained on the valance and were taking swipes at the bat as it flew by.  Scout and Abra began springing in the air like ballerinas, trying to snatch the flying creature.

Misha got too close to the pair.  Abra hissed a ferocious warning at the Russian. 

“Nice, kitty katsee,” Misha implored.  The bat flew around the room, darting here and there, skirting Mary’s hair, which sent the party planner into another screaming frenzy. 

“Misha, don’t let the bat bite you,” Katherine warned.

Finally, Misha scooped the bat in his jacket.  He ran outside and let the bat go. 

Scout tried to run outside and do further chase, but Katherine tackled her near the door.  “Not so fast, magic cat.  We’re going to join Iris in the next room.” 

Mary grasped her bag and went to the door.  “Katz, I’ll call you later.”  She hurriedly left.

Still clutching Scout, Katherine shut and locked the front door.  “Waugh,” Scout protested, kicking her.

“Okay, okay!”  When she set her down, Abra trotted over and boxed Scout between the ears.  “Raw,” she cried in a tone that seemed to scold her sister for trying to escape. 

“Well, cats, that’s one way to clear a room,” Katherine teased.  “Let’s go find Colleen.”  She then headed to the back of the house with Scout and Abra tagging along behind her. 
When she let Iris out of the powder room, Scout and Abra chased the sassy Siamese to the kitchen, where Katz found Colleen laughing hysterically.  She had dropped into a modern aluminum side chair.  Her head was tipped back and she was fanning herself with her hand.  “That was hilarious!”  Colleen uttered between giggles.  “I watched it from the back hallway door.”

Katherine rolled her eyes. 
“Well, carrot top.  You know where the bat came from, right?”

“No, where?”

“No matter how many different locks I’ve had installed on the attic door, Scout figures it out and opens it.  Do you still want to do your ghost hunting gig up there?”

“It’s called spirit hunting
,” Colleen said, then added, “If there’s bats up there, maybe we can find another place.”

Katherine extracted her cell out of her pocket and called
the vet.  The receptionist Valerie answered.  Katherine explained the situation.  While she waited for Dr. Sonny to come to the line, she said to Colleen, “Scout could have been bitten by that poor creature.”

“But
she’s had her shots, right?” Colleen asked, suddenly no longer amused, but worried about Scout.

“Yes, she’s up-to-date on her shots, especially the rabies one.  Bats carry rabies, you know.”

“Saw it on Animal Planet,” Colleen commented.

Katherine remembered how Colleen seemed to see
everything
on Animal Planet.  “Are you addicted to that channel?” she asked.

“Guilty!” Colleen confessed. 

Dr. Sonny came on the line and Katherine told him about Scout’s bat adventure.   Since the bat hadn’t been caught for analysis, and might have been positive for rabies, he suggested that Katherine bring the cats to the clinic for thorough examinations.  He then asked if any of the guests had been bitten.

“No, we were too busy running around and screaming to be bitten.  I’m sure the bat was scared to death.  Thank you so much, Dr. Sonny.
  I’ll bring my kids in right away.” She ended the call.

“Ma-waugh,” Scout disagreed and fled to the
center of the house.  This initiated a feline steeplechase race with Scout in the lead, Abra a close second, and Iris bringing up the rear.  Katherine and Colleen burst out laughing as they heard the cats thundering up the stairs and then racing to the back of the house.

Chapter Five

Katherine sat at her computer in the back office.  Checking her emails, she was delighted that everyone invited to the party, except Jacky, would be attending.  For the first time in a long time, she felt excited and happy.  Colleen came into the room, with Scout and Abra following.  They darted in and out of Colleen’s path like porpoises in front of a moving ship.

“Katz, they’re truly trying to kill me,” Colleen complained.  “I can hardly walk in my new shoes.”

With the mention of shoes, Katherine turned around and looked.  Colleen was wearing a pair of hot pink, pointy toe, four-inch heel pumps.  Not wanting to hurt her friend’s feelings, Katherine said sweetly, “The shoes are to die for, but carrot top, no one in Erie wears stiletto heels to a fish fry.”

“Oh,” Colleen blushed.  “I guess that would be an Erie fashion
faux pas
!”

“Did you bring running shoes?  I wear mine all the time,” Katherine suggested.

“Yes, of course.  I’ll go up later and change.  How about a bit of tea?”  Colleen suggested, moving to the kitchen. 

“Great.  Let me save my document, and I’ll be right there.”

Colleen walked into the kitchen and gasped, “Katz, the cabinet doors are open!”

Katherine joined her and stifled a laugh.  “The pink mansion has a poltergeist.”  Then her face clouded when she remembered two similar events.

Colleen noticed the change of expression and asked, “Katz, what’s wrong?”

“Deja vu!
  Iris did this little cabinet door trick the very last time Carol Lombard visited, and right before she died in the fatal car accident.”  Katherine leaned against the counter.  “After I learned my student, Stacy, was brutally assaulted, I came home to find not only the cabinet doors open, but broken dishes scattered on the floor.”

Colleen tried to make light of the tense situation. “Are the cups broken, too?  Should I look for Styrofoam cups for tea?”

“Either Iris did it, or the mansion really does have a poltergeist,” Katherine said, trying to regain her good mood.

“Eerie!” Colleen said.  “Maybe I should go get the EVP to detect if a spirit is trying to communicate.  It would take a tremendous amount of ghostly energy to open those doors.”

Abby chased Lilac into the kitchen.  Lilac me-yowled loudly, sprang from the ceramic tile floor to the granite counter, to the top of the cabinets, then raced their full length.  From the cabinets, she leaped onto the wood window valance and ran across it.  Right before the edge, she flopped on her side.  Abby did the same, except Abby flopped down the other way.  They looked like a vintage ceramic cat lamp.  “Chirp,” Abby announced proudly.

Colleen took her smartphone and snapped a pic of the two cats.  “I’m sending this to mum.  She won’t believe it!”

Grabbing the TV remote, Katherine took a seat at the table.  “Not liking the idea of communicating with the kitchen spirit,” Katherine said.  “How about I turn on the news while you fix some tea?  There’s honey vanilla in the canister by the stove.”

Katherine punched the
On button.  The TV blared, “Breaking news from Brook County.  Sheriff’s deputies have found what appears to be the fifth victim in the so-called Festival Murders.  The body of a young woman was found dead at the side of a road outside the Erie town limits.  The victim’s name has not been released, pending notification of relatives.  We hope to have an update on the evening news at eleven.”

Katherine pushed the
Off button.  “This is awful,” she said.  “I feel so terrible for these poor women, and their families and friends.”

“What kind of a monster would do such a thing?”  Colleen asked, putting the kettle on the stove top.

“Jake said it’s rare for serial murders to take place here.  I’m terrified to go out at night.”

“Well, Katz, then I
wouldn’t
go out at night unless you have to.”

Iris came into the room and yowled softly.  Scout and Abra followed.  Abra hopped up onto Katherine’s lap and began kneading her arm. 

“What’s she doing?” Colleen asked with a puzzled expression.

“She’s making biscuits.”

“Ahhh,” Colleen said in wonder.  She was still a novice about cat behavior.  Changing the subject, she said, “Katz, I can’t figure out your new stove.  I keep turning the dial and all it does is make a clicking sound.  Can you turn it on and watch the kettle.  I’m going upstairs to change into my ‘ugly’ shoes.  I’m sure to meet a handsome fireman with the ‘ugly’ shoes on!”

Katherine set Abra down and said, “Jake should be here in about five minutes.”

The doorbell clanged at the carport side of the house.  “How about one second,” Katherine chuckled rushing to the door.  When she opened it, she was surprised to see Jake standing with his cousin Daryl.  “Well, hello,” she said to Daryl with a smile.  “Come in, you two.”

Jake said, “Daryl actually got tonight and tomorrow night off, so
—”

“I’ll be able to come to the party,” Daryl finished.  “I’ve been working around the clock with these awful murders.  I was surprised the boss let me off.  But the State Police is lending a hand.  They’ve formed a special task force.”

“Come to the kitchen,” Katherine directed.  “Colleen is upstairs changing her shoes.” 

Daryl was staring in awe at the dining room furnishings and wall coverings.  “It’s like a palace in here,” he admired.  “I had no idea.”

Katherine said, “It looks even grander without the black crepe paper.”

Colleen walked into the room.  “Oh,
I didn’t hear anyone come in.”  She broke into a wide, open smile.

“Colleen,
I want to introduce you to Jake Cokenberger.”

Jake extended his hand.  Shaking it, Colleen said, “Katz has told me so many wonderful things about you.”

Jake smiled and winked at Katherine.

“And, this is Jake’s cousin Daryl,” Katherine said.  “Daryl is a deputy for the Brook County Sheriff’s Department.”

Daryl was speechless for a moment, then said, “I’m pleased to meet you.” 


‘Tis my pleasure,” Colleen said with a slight brogue.

Daryl asked, “Did I hear an Irish accent?”

Colleen threw her head back and said tartly, “No, I’m German.”

Daryl belted out the famous Cokenberger laugh, “We’re going to get along just fine.” 

Jake said, “Okay, everybody ready?  Let’s head to the big fry!”

Katherine looked at her watch and said, “But, it’s only six o’clock.  I thought we’d hang out a bit.  Colleen is making some tea.”

“Got to git there before them fish is gone,” he said in an exaggerated Hoosier twang.

“Seriously?”
Katherine asked.

“Yep.
  If we go later, there’ll be a line like you’ll not believe,” he explained.

“I’ll grab my bag,” Katherine said.

“Likewise,” Colleen called as she left the room.

Jake said, “We’ll head out and meet you fine ladies in front of the house.”  He wore an amused grin on his face.  When the
y left, Katherine shut and locked the side door. 

Colleen came in with her cross-body bag wrapped around her shoulder.  She sang a lyric from an Irish folk song
, “He whistled and sang ‘til the green woods rang, and he won the heart of a lady.”  Katherine joined in the chorus. 

Colleen laughed, “Don’t give up your day job, Katz.  You still can’t sing.”

Katherine faked a sad face, and then burst out laughing.  “What’s with that German remark?  The poor guy’s jaw dropped when he saw you.  He could hardly speak.” 

“Oh, it was a bit cheeky, but I liked the way he got my sense of humor.  But Katz, why didn’t you warn me that Daryl is a gorgeous hunk?”

Katherine grinned.  “Well, it’s the Cokenberger genetics.”

“Shut the door!  Cokey isn’t that hot.”

Katherine grinned.  “Perhaps he inherited the recessive genes.” Heading to the office, she said, “My bag’s on the desk.  I’d better log off the computer.”

Colleen followed and squinted at the web page on the monitor.  “Why did you do a search on Mr. Clean?” she asked.

Katherine gave a curious look.  “I didn’t.  It must have been one of the cats.”  Iris came from behind the monitor and yowled innocently.  Katherine picked her up and held her.  “Miss Siam, I didn’t know
you
surfed the web.  Are you trying to tell me something?  Maybe something to do with your litterbox?”

“I think we should set up a camera.  We could catch who’s doing it and put it on
YouTube.  We can send it to Animal Planet,” Colleen said excitedly.


I believe we’ve had this conversation before.  No way,” Katherine countered.  “I’ve already got the looky-loos walking by the pink murder house.  I’d really have a problem if they knew my cats surfed the web.”  Logging off, Katherine observed, “You know in a strange way, one of my students looks like Mr. Clean.  My friend Michelle invited him as her guest to the party.”

“That’s funny.  Have the cats ever seen him?”

“During my first lesson, Abra and Scout came into the classroom and saw him then.  I guess maybe while we were in the kitchen, Scout or Abra did some cat surfing.  Probably Scout.  I wouldn’t think Abra would have learned that trick so soon.  She’s only been here a few months.”


‘Tis a mystery!  Shouldn’t we hurry up?  The guys are waiting for us.”

“I’m done,” Katherine announced, getting up from her chair. “Last one to the front door pays the bill.”

“Who says?  That’s ridiculous!” Colleen said, darting in front of Katherine.

“Not fair! I’ve got to shut the door.”

Colleen ran down the front steps and joined Jake and Daryl on the sidewalk. 

Katherine locked the front door.  “Cheater,” she called
jokingly to Colleen.

Cokey, Margie, and the two kids pulled up in Cokey’s new Dodge Ram crew cab.  He yelled out the window, “Hey, are you guys going to the fish fry?”

Jake yelled back, “Yep.  Save us a spot at the table!”

“Will do,” Cokey said driving away.

Katherine asked, “Which car are we going to take?  Obviously, not the Jeep.”

Daryl piped in, “My Mercedes is parked in front of the yellow brick house.”

All eyes turned in that direction.  Colleen said enthusiastically, rushing to the vehicle, “For the love of Mary, you own a ’67 Chevy Impala!”

Daryl said, “I’m impressed.  How did you know it’s an Impala?”

“I watch
Supernatural
.  I can see Sam and Dean Winchester spill out of it any moment.  It’s even black!”

Katherine had never seen her friend so animated.  She knew Colleen frequented classic car shows with her four brothers, but she’d never joined them.

Daryl beamed with pride and admiration for Colleen. 

Jake offered, “Daryl had it painted.  It was originally white.”

Colleen gushed, “A four-door sedan.  I love it!”

Daryl opened the passenger door for Colleen and she got in.  While he was walking over to the driver’s side, Jake opened Katherine’s door.  She slid over so he could sit next to her.

After arriving at the fire station, Daryl was particular about where he parked the classic car.  Finally, he decided on a spot two short blocks away.  “Got to protect my baby,” he apologized. 

Colleen said, “Can’t blame you.”

The four got out and walked to the fish fry.  They passed a historic church that was built in the 1840s.  They admired the stained glass windows. 

“Can we do a selfie in front of it?” Colleen asked.  “I want to send it to my mum.”

“Sure,” Katherine said, leaning into Jake while Colleen did the same with Daryl.

“Perfect,” Colleen said, taking the picture.  She took a few more pictures,
then put her smartphone away.

The Erie fire station was a large, corrugated-metal building of a pole barn design.  The fire department comprised both full-time employees and
volunteers, who received pay only when actively taking care of an emergency.  The volunteers were summoned to duty by a town-wide siren that sounded different from the tornado siren.  The fire trucks had been backed out and lined both sides of Main Street.  The annual fish fry was the
grand finale
of the Covered Bridge Festival, and residents of the town came out in droves. 

The fish fry serving line was beginning to curl around the side of the building.

“I see what you mean,” Colleen said. 

Daryl gently took her arm and said, “Let’s run for it.”  And, much to Katherine’s amazement, Colleen did just that.  Katherine thought,
Good thing I suggested the running shoes. She wouldn’t have been able to do that with the stilettos
.

“Well,” Jake said.  “Want to join them?”

Katherine smirked.  “Not thinking so.  I’ll walk.  They can save us a place in line.”

The line
moved quickly.  Once inside, Katherine observed rows and rows of long tables set up, covered with decorative orange plastic tablecloths.  Each table had a loaf of bread and a tub of butter in the center.  Volunteers dished out the food.  Katherine’s eyes grew big when a woman in her forties handed her a Styrofoam plate with two giant fried fish patties, a large scoop of creamy coleslaw, and a similar size scoop of baked beans.  A second table held the drinks and numerous slices of pie and cake in different varieties.  When it came to selecting a dessert, she had a hard time narrowing her choices.

BOOK: Karen Anne Golden - The Cats That 03 - The Cats That Told a Fortune
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