Read Katie's Redemption Online

Authors: Patricia Davids

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #General, #Religious

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BOOK: Katie's Redemption
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After a few minutes of silence, Nettie asked, “How’s the coffee?”

“It’s good. Better than my sister-in-law ever made on that stove. I used to think her bitter coffee gave Beatrice her sour face.”

“You don’t like your sister-in-law?”

“She’s okay.” It was more that Beatrice didn’t like her. Katie had felt Beatrice’s resentment from the moment she came to live with them, although she never understood why.

“I’ve got a sister-in-law I don’t care for. It’s not right to speak ill of her, but she thought my brother married up when he married into her family. That, and she claims her peach preserves are better than mine. They aren’t. I use my mama’s recipe.”

“And riper peaches?”

Nettie’s eyes brimmed with humor as she shot a look in Katie’s direction. “Can you keep a secret?”

Taken aback slightly, Katie replied, “I guess. Sure.”

“I use canned, store-bought peaches.”

Katie laughed, feeling oddly pleased to be let in on a Sutter family joke.

Chuckling, Nettie continued. “I hate to think of the hours that woman has slaved over a hot stove stewing her fresh fruit and trying to outdo me. It’s prideful, I know. I reckon I’d better confess my sin before next communion.”

Katie’s mirth evaporated. She bowed her head. She had so much more than a little false pride to confess. What must Nettie think of her?

If Mrs. Sutter hoped her admission would prompt Katie to seek acceptance back among the Amish, she was sadly mistaken. Katie had no intention of talking to a bishop or anyone else about the choices she’d made in her life. She had made them. She would live with them.

After a few minutes of silence, Nettie said, “It must feel strange to see another family living in your childhood home.”

Relieved by the change of subject, Katie looked up to find her hostess watching her closely. “It was a bit of a shock.”

“It’s a good house, but I’d like a bigger porch. Elam
has promised to build it this summer. I love to sit outside in the evenings and do my mending. That way I can enjoy a cup of coffee and the flowers in my garden while I watch the sun go down. Speaking of coffee, are you finished with yours?”

“Almost. Do you miss the home you left behind?”


Jah,
at times I do, but my oldest son and his wife still live on our farm in Pennsylvania, so I can go back for a visit as often as I like.”

“What made you leave?”

A fleeting look of sadness crossed Nettie face. “Elam wanted to come west. There’s more farm ground out here and it’s cheaper than back home. That, and there was some church trouble.”

Nettie busied herself at the stove and began scrambling eggs in a large cast-iron skillet. Katie waited for her to elaborate, but she didn’t. Although Katie found herself curious to hear more of the story, it was clear Nettie wasn’t willing to share.

Suddenly, Nettie began speaking again. “My daughter-in-law’s parents were talking about moving into the
dawdy haus
with one of their children. I would have welcomed the company, but then Elam told me he’d found this property.”

The Amish welcomed their elderly relatives and nearly all Amish farms had a second, smaller, “grandfather house” connected to the main home. Grandparents could live in comfort and remain a part of the family, helping to care for the children or with the farm work if they were able.

“Elam is my youngest, you know, and he’s without a wife yet. All my others are married. It just made sense
for me to come with him and to keep house for him until he finds a wife of his own.”

“Not all men want to get married.” Katie was thinking more of Matt than Elam, but she did wonder why Nettie’s son was still single. Besides being a handsome man, he was kind, gentle and seemed to love children.

Nettie stopped stirring and stared out the window. “Elam was betrothed once.”

Katie recalled Elam’s comment about “once burned, twice shy” the first night when he was holding Rachel. Now she knew what he meant. “What happened?”

Nettie began stirring her eggs again. “Salome wasn’t the right one for him. It was better that they found it out before they were married, because she left the church.”

“After her baptism?”

“Jah.”

Katie knew what that meant. “She was shunned.”

“It was very hard on Elam. Especially after…” Nettie paused and stared out the kitchen window as though seeing unhappy things in the past.

“You don’t need to explain anything to me,” Katie said, gently. She considered Nettie a friend, and she was willing to respect her privacy.

Nettie glanced her way. The sorrow-filled look in her eyes touched Katie’s heart deeply. “It is no secret. You may hear it anyway. I’d rather you heard it from me. My husband also left the church a few months before he died.”

While the Amish religion might not be something Katie wanted for herself, she understood how deeply spiritual true believers were and how painful such an event would be to Nettie’s entire family. “I’m so sorry.”


Danki.
How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

It was true. Katie finished her drink, rose and carried her cup to the table, happy to find her dizziness didn’t return. As she sat down she thought she understood better why Elam disliked that she had left the faith. “That can’t have been easy for Elam or for any of you.”

Nettie looked over her shoulder with a sad little smile. “Life is not meant to be easy, child. That is why we pray for God’s strength to help us bear it.”

Katie didn’t want to depend on God for her strength. She had made her own mistakes. She was the one who would fix them.

The front door opened and Elam came in accompanied by a draft of chilly air. In his arms he held a small bassinet. He paused when he caught sight of Katie at the table. She could have sworn that a blush crept up his neck, but she decided she was mistaken. He nodded in her direction, then closed the door.

Nettie transferred her eggs from the stove top to a shallow bowl. “I was just getting ready to call you, Elam. Breakfast is ready.”


Goot,
I could use some coffee. The wind has a raw bite to it this morning. March is not going out like a lamb. At least the sun is shining. The ground will be glad of the moisture when this snow melts. It will help our spring planting.”

He hung his coat and black felt hat on the row of pegs beside the door, then he approached Katie. “I made your Rachel a better bed. It’ll be safer than setting her basket on a chair and it will keep her up off the drafty floor.”

The bassinet was about a third the size of the ones Katie had seen in the stores in the city when she had gone window-shopping and dreamed about things she could never afford for her baby. The picnic basket–size bed was finely crafted of wooden strips sanded smooth and glowing with a linseed oil finish. It had a small canopy at one end. “It’s lovely. You didn’t have to do this.”

“It was easy enough to make out of a few things I had on hand. It has double swing handles and the legs fold up so you can take it with you when you leave. Have you had time to write a letter to your brother? I’ll carry it to the mailbox for you.”

He wasn’t exactly pushing her out the door, but he was making it plain she couldn’t expect to stay longer than necessary.

She didn’t blame him. Katie knew she had been dependent on the Sutters’ charity for too long already. She’d never intended to take advantage of them and yet she was.

How could she explain that her brother—her only family—wouldn’t come to her aid? She might find shelter for herself and her baby at his home, but it would be on his terms and his terms alone.

Elam was waiting for her answer. She wouldn’t lie to him. Nor could she write and pretend she was waiting for an answer when she knew full well the letter would come back unopened.

She glanced at Elam. Two important people in his life had betrayed the faith and he had shunned them.

If he knew her brother had disowned her would he allow her to stay?

Chapter Five

“L
et the girl get a little food in her before you start pestering her, Elam.”

Elam didn’t miss the grateful look Katie flashed at his mother. He kept silent, but only out of respect for Nettie. His unexpected visitor had aroused his curiosity and a niggling sense of unease. Katie didn’t seem at all eager to contact her brother. That bothered him.

That and Grace Zimmerman’s comments about Malachi’s harsh treatment of his young sister.

Elam was well aware that some men held to the idea that being the head of the house gave them the right to be stern, even cruel. He also knew such behavior was against God’s teaching.

If Katie had been subjected to that type of treatment in the past, it might explain a lot. But even if her life had been difficult, it was no excuse for turning her back on her religion.

Nor was it his place to pass judgment on her or on her
brother, he reminded himself sternly. He stepped up to the sink and began to wash. When he was finished, he pulled a white towel off the hook on the end of the counter and dried his hands.

Whatever troubles Katie had, she would take them with her when she left. Then the peace he tried so hard to cultivate would once again return to his life.

Nettie set a bowl in the center of the table. “Take a seat, both of you. Don’t let my eggs get cold.”

Elam took his place at the head of the table, and Nettie sat in her usual spot at his right. Katie was already seated in the chair to his left. In the morning light her color was still pale, made more so by the black woolen shawl she had wrapped about her shoulders. The dark circles under her eyes added to the impression of sadness he saw in her face.

Her dark eyes looked too big for her thin face. What she needed was some of his mother’s good cooking to put a little meat on her bones. He wasn’t a man who liked scrawny women.

She quietly clasped her hands together and bowed her head. The movement sent the ends of her short hair swinging against her cheeks. The sight brought a sudden tightening to his chest. She might be a thin waif, but she was also a woman. There was no mistaking that or the odd pull of attraction he felt when she was near.

He tore his gaze away. He’d made a fool of himself over a woman once before and once was enough. Closing his eyes, he bowed his head as a signal to the others, then he began a silent blessing over the meal.

When he was finished, he cleared his throat to signal the prayer was done, then reached for the cinnamon
bread. Katie stretched out her arm at the same moment and their hands touched. He felt the shock of the contact all the way up his arm.

She jerked her hand back as quickly as he did. A flush stained her cheeks, giving her back some much-needed color.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “Help yourself.”

“You first. You’ve been out working already.”

“And you’re eating for two.”

Following their exchange neither of them moved. Finally Nettie pushed the plate closer to Katie. “I thought you were starving?”

Katie smiled shyly at her. “I am.”

“Then eat,” Elam added sternly. When Katie still didn’t move he took her plate and loaded it with scrambled eggs, two sausage patties and two thick slices of cinnamon bread. When the plate was filled to his satisfaction, he set it in front of her and folded his arms over his chest.

Her blush deepened, but she picked up her fork and began eating. She kept her head down and her gaze focused on her meal so she didn’t see the look of triumph on his mother’s face, but Elam did.

He had seen just that look when his mother had convinced his oldest sister that her two boys needed and deserved to keep the muddy stray puppy they’d found in the orchard on their last visit. His mother had a big heart and she often thought she knew what was best for everyone.

In the case of the puppy she had been right, but her desire to mother Katie and her little girl wasn’t the same thing at all. Having Katie in their home could easily bring the censure of the community to bear on them. Katie’s
rejection of her faith placed all of them in an awkward position. He and his mother had few friends among their new acquaintances who would speak up for them.

His mother had endured enough heartache back in Pennsylvania. He wanted it to be different here.

From the far corner of the room, Rachel began crying. Katie quickly started to rise, but Nettie stopped her by saying, “I’ll get her this time. You finish your meal.”

Katie sank back into her seat. “Thank you.”

Elam noticed she didn’t take her eyes off Rachel as his mother picked the child up. Nettie said, “I see what’s wrong,
moppel.
You need your diaper changed.”

She carried the child to her bedroom as she crooned, “We had better send Elam to the store for more.”

Elam turned his attention back to Katie. “If you make a list of things you need I’ll be happy to make a trip into town.”

She stared at her plate and pushed a piece of sausage around with her fork. “I don’t have the money to repay you.”

“I asked for a list, not for money. Your brother will settle with me when he comes for you. I’m not worried about it.”

When she made no comment, he resumed eating, but she didn’t. The silence in the room lengthened uncomfortably. Every time he brought up the subject of her brother she clammed up. He wasn’t sure what to make of her withdrawal. He wasn’t sure what to make of Katie Lantz at all.

He could understand her reluctance to admit to her family how far she had fallen, but the time for such false pride was past. She had a child to care for now and no way that he could see to support herself, let alone her baby. If she couldn’t bring herself to write her brother then Elam would do it for her.

That might be best. He could mail a letter today.

He would not include the details of her plight. That would be for Katie to do. He’d only say that she had come looking for her family and that she needed her brother’s assistance to get home.

When Katie found the courage she could say what she needed to say to her family, but the sooner they came for her the better it would be for everyone.

Elam studied her as she picked at her food. He’d heard not one word of complaint from her. She didn’t bemoan her fate, that was commendable. She was certainly attentive to her baby. The love she had for her child shone in her eyes whenever she looked upon her babe’s face. There was much he liked about Katie. It was a pity she had turned her back on the Plain life.

As if aware of his scrutiny, she self-consciously tucked her hair behind her ear, then gave up any pretense of eating. She laid her fork down and folded her hands in her lap. “I’ll make a list of things the baby needs. It won’t be much.”


Goot.
Now eat or my mother will scold us both.” He gestured toward her plate with his fork.

A hint of a smile tugged at her lips, but it vanished quickly. She picked up her slice of cinnamon bread and took a dainty bite.

A few minutes later, Nettie returned with a quiet baby nestled in her arms. Katie started to rise. “I’ll take her.”

Nettie waved her away. “I can manage. You’ve barely touched your food.”

“And you haven’t eaten a thing,” Katie countered.

Elam pushed his empty plate aside. “I’ll take her, then you can both eat.”

“Very well.” Nettie handed Rachel over reluctantly.

Elam took her and settled her upright against his shoulder. He liked holding her. Leaning back in his chair, he glanced down at her plump cheeks and tiny mouth. Each day it was easier to see the resemblance between her and her mother, except Katie’s cheeks were hollow, not plump and healthy-looking. They shared the same full bottom lip, but Rachel’s curved naturally into a sweet smile.

His gaze was drawn to Katie’s face. She was watching him, an odd expression in her eyes. What would it take to make her smile as freely as her baby did?

 

Katie returned to her bed for the rest of the day. Physically she was stronger, but when night finally came the hopelessness of her situation pulled her spirits to a new low. She was homeless and penniless with a new baby to care for and a growing debt to the people that had befriended her.

The memory of Nettie and Elam’s tender care of Rachel brought tears to her eyes. For one horrible instant she wondered if her baby wouldn’t be better off without her.

Turning over, she muffled her sobs in the pillow as she gave in to despair.

The following morning she stayed behind the screen until Elam had gone outside. She didn’t want to answer his questions about why she hadn’t written to Malachi. It was cowardly and she knew she couldn’t avoid the subject much longer, but she didn’t know how to explain.

She had been a trial to Malachi and his wife all her life. Even though the Sutters were aware she had made bad
choices, she didn’t want them to know Malachi had disowned her. She was too ashamed to admit it. If she had to grovel before Malachi, for her child’s sake she would, but what little pride she had left kept her from admitting as much to the Sutter family.

The day passed slowly, but when Elam came in for supper he didn’t mention her brother or ask her for a letter. Relieved, but puzzled, she was able to eat a little of Nettie’s excellent beef stew and listen as Elam talked about plans for planting pumpkins to sell in addition to their normal produce.

“Pumpkins?” Nettie cocked her head to the side. “Would you sell them through the organic farming co-op?”


Jah.
The demand is growing.”

Katie’s curiosity was aroused. She knew most of the area’s Amish farmers sold their produce from roadside stands and at the local produce auctions. Every year her brother had complained bitterly about how hard it was to earn a living competing against the large, mechanized English farms. She asked, “What’s an organic co-op?”

Nettie passed a bowl of her canned pears to Katie. “Last year Elam persuaded several dozen farmers to switch from conventional agriculture to organic, using no chemicals, no antibiotics, none of those things.”

Katie could see the spark of interest in his eyes. “There’s a good market for organic vegetables, fruits and cheeses. I had heard about such a co-op near Akron. Aaron Zook and I contacted them. They helped us find a chain of grocery stores in Cleveland that were interested in selling our crops. They even helped us obtain our organic certification from the U.S.D.A.”

“The government men came and inspected the barns and the fields of everyone involved,” Nettie added.

Frowning slightly, Katie asked, “Isn’t it more expensive to farm that way?”

He gave a slight shake of his head. “Not if it’s done right.”

“Elam attended seminars on soil management to learn what organic products would give our soil the best nutrients. He learned how to make the plants strong, so they wouldn’t fall prey to insects and disease without chemicals to protect them. It has already saved two of our families from losing their farms.” Nettie beamed, clearly pleased with her son’s accomplishments.

It seemed there was more to Elam than the stoic farmer Katie had assumed he was. The Amish were known as shrewd businessmen, but it was plain Elam was also forward thinking.

Nettie picked up her empty plate and carried it to the sink. “If our people can make a living from the farms and not have to work in factories, then our families will stay intact. It’s a win-win situation.”

After the meal was over Nettie retired to her sewing room, and in what seemed like no time she emerged with a stack of baby gowns for Rachel and two new cotton nightgowns for Katie.

“You shouldn’t have.” Katie managed to speak past the lump of gratitude in her throat.

Nettie smiled. “You might as well accept them. They’re much too small for me and I’m not going to rip out all those stitches.”

It seemed that every minute Katie stayed here she
became more indebted to Elam and his mother. She needed to be on her way. It was doubtful that Malachi would pay back any of the money the Sutters had spent on her or Rachel. In time, when she found a job, she would make sure she repaid them herself as soon as possible.

The following days passed in much the same fashion. Katie took care of Rachel and tried to regain her strength. Nettie fussed over the both of them.

Whatever Elam thought of Nettie’s pampering, he kept it to himself, but Katie could tell he was ready for her to be on her way. Elam had done his Christian duty by taking her in, but he wanted her out of his home. He avoided looking at her when he was in the same room. A faint scowl creased his brows whenever his gaze did fall on her.

Nearly a week after her arrival, Katie was helping clear the lunch dishes when Nettie announced that she and Elam were driving her out to her daughter Mary’s farm some five miles away. That explained why Nettie had been baking all morning.

“Mary is pregnant and expecting in a few months. She’s been feeling low. I’ve several baskets of baked goods and preserves I want to take her and her family. Nothing makes a person feel more chipper than a good shoofly pie they didn’t have to bake themselves.”

Grateful as Katie was for Nettie’s care and mothering, she was excited to hear she would finally have some time alone. “When will you be back?”

“I think about four o’clock. Will you be okay without us? I could have Elam stay with you.”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will. You should rest. You still look washed-out.”

“Oh, thank you very much.” Katie rolled her eyes, and Nettie chuckled.

Thirty minutes later, with Rachel asleep and the quietness of the house pressing in, Katie put down the book she couldn’t get into and began looking for something to do. Memories of her life in this same house crept out without Nettie’s happy chatter to keep them at bay.

It wasn’t so much that her brother had been cruel. It was that he had been cold and devoid of the love she saw so freely given by Nettie to her son. The Sutters were the kind of family Katie longed to be a part of. Malachi and his wife hadn’t given her that. Neither had Matt.

With sudden clarity, Katie realized she would have to see that Rachel grew up knowing she was loved, knowing happiness and hearing laughter. A new determination pushed aside the pity she had been wallowing in. She would raise her child on her own. She would get a job and make a life for the two of them. They would have to live with Malachi for a while, but it wouldn’t be any longer than absolutely necessary.

BOOK: Katie's Redemption
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