Katie's Redemption (8 page)

Elam’s mother stepped in to fill the awkward silence. “This is our visitor. Mr. Imhoff, perhaps you remember Katie Lantz.”

He nodded in her direction. “Quiet little Katie with the dark eyes? I do, but you are much changed. How is your brother? Is he happy in Kansas? My cousin moved there a few years ago. He says a man can own land and not farm it, but make a living by renting his grass out for other men’s cows to graze on.”

“I have not seen my brother in quite a while,” Katie admitted.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Family is so very important.”

Katie looked lovingly at the child she held. “I’m beginning to understand that.”

Mr. Imhoff sighed. “I wish God had seen fit to leave mine with me longer.”

Nettie laid a hand on his arm. “We take comfort in knowing they are with God.”

He patted her hand, allowing his fingers to linger on hers longer than Elam thought necessary.

Elam knew that Mr. Imhoff’s wife and three of his seven children had been killed when a car struck their buggy several years ago. His oldest daughter, Karen, had taken over the reins of the family and was raising her younger siblings.

Nettie caught her son looking her way and withdrew her hand. Mr. Imhoff said quickly, “My daughter wants you to know she’ll be happy to help with the meal and the cleanup after church if you wish it.”

Nettie cast a sly look at Elam before she replied. “Tell Karen her help will be most welcome.”

Even his sisters exchanged speaking looks and little smiles. Mary said, “
Jah,
we always welcome Karen’s help.”

A possible reason for their covert glances suddenly dawned on him. Karen was single and close to his own age. Had the women of his family decided on some matchmaking?

Shaking his head, he turned away and picked up the mail. Sorting through it, he froze when his glance fell on a long white envelope. The return address was Yoder, Kansas. It was an answer from Malachi Lantz.

Elam’s heart dropped to his boots. He glanced to where Katie was happily showing her daughter to Mr. Imhoff.

Her brother had written. That meant she would be leaving soon.

Elam leaned back against the counter. That was what he wanted, wasn’t it? So why wasn’t he glad?

W
hen Mr. Imhoff and his son left, Katie excused herself from the group in the kitchen and carried Rachel into the living room where the bassinet was set up. When Katie attempted to put her down, her daughter displayed an unusual streak of bad temper and threw a fit. The young boys were immediately intrigued by the baby and crowded around, their toys forgotten.

“Why is she crying?” the older boy asked in Pennsylvania Dutch. He, like all Amish children, would not learn more than a few words of English until he started school.

She answered him in kind. “I think she is tired, but she’s afraid she’ll miss something interesting if she goes to sleep.”

“Can I hold her?”

“If you sit quietly on the sofa, you may.”

The boys scrambled onto the couch and sat up straight. Katie laid Rachel in Thomas’s arms. The baby immediately fell silent as she focused on the unfamiliar face. The
difference between her dark-haired baby and the boys with their white-blond hair was striking.

Thomas grinned at Katie. “She likes me.”

Katie smiled back at him. “I think she does.”

She was sitting beside Thomas showing him how to support Rachel’s head, when Elam came into the room. Katie looked up and froze when she saw the expression on his face. He drew a chair close and sat in front of her.

He glanced at the boys. “Thomas, I need someone to gather the eggs today. Can you boys do that?”

Thomas puffed up. “Sure.”

Katie took Rachel from the boy. Clearly Elam wanted to talk to her without the children in the room. A sense of unease settled in the pit of her stomach.

“
Gut.
Get a basket for the eggs from your grandmother.” Elam ruffled Thomas’s hair. The boy hurried to do the chore with his younger cousin following close behind.

Katie held Rachel and rocked her gently, waiting for Elam to speak.

“I wrote to your brother shortly after you came to us.”

Her heart sank. “You did what?”

“It was clear you couldn’t find the words. I did not tell him anything about Rachel. I only said that you were staying with us, but had not the means to get to Kansas.”

“I wish you hadn’t done that, Elam.”

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” After a moment, he held out a white envelope. “This came this morning.”

Katie tried to hide her trepidation, but she could feel Elam’s gaze on her as she stared at the envelope without moving. She asked, “What does he say?”

“I haven’t opened it. I thought perhaps you would like to do that.”

“It’s addressed to you. You should read it.” She lifted her chin, expecting the worst but praying for the best.

“All right.”

She struggled to maintain a brave front. He tore open the envelope and read the short note inside.

His expression hardened. He pressed his lips together.

“Well?” Katie asked.

He read aloud. “‘Dear Mr. Sutter, I am sorry to hear Katie has burdened your family with her presence. Please understand it is with a heavy heart that I tell you she is not welcome in our home.’”

Elam stopped reading to look at her. “Perhaps it would be better if you read the rest in private.”

She shook her head and clutched Rachel more tightly. “No, go on.”

Swallowing hard, Elam resumed reading. “‘I will not make arrangements for Katie to travel here. Beware of her serpent’s tongue. She has fooled us too often with her words of repentance uttered in falsehood. I pray God will take pity on her soul. She is no longer kin of mine. Your friend in Christ, Malachi Lantz.’”

Katie cringed as Elam lowered the letter. Though she had tried to prepare herself for Malachi’s response, it still hurt. She turned her face away as tears stung her eyes.

She was disgraced with nowhere to go. All her struggles to reach her family had been in vain.

Looking into Elam’s sympathetic eyes, she said, “I had hoped Malachi would take us in, but if he has pub
licly disowned me…he won’t. I did not believe he would do this.”

“Perhaps when he learns you have a child.”

She shook her head. “I don’t see how that will make him think better of me.”

“What about Matt’s family?”

“I never met any of them. I think Matt was too ashamed of me.”

“Ashamed or not, he has a duty to provide for his child.”

“I don’t know how to reach him or his family. Mrs. Zimmerman said they were out of the country.”

Katie looked up at Elam through her tears. “I truly had nowhere to go.”

Elam longed to gather her into his arms and comfort her, but he couldn’t. It wouldn’t be right. How could a brother be so coldhearted? And Matt! To cast aside a woman and ignore his own child. What kind of man could do that? Elam wanted to shake them both.

Now was the time for her family to show Katie compassion, to welcome her back as the prodigal child and show her the true meaning of Christian forgiveness.

While he had no way of knowing what had transpired between the siblings before Katie left home, this didn’t seem right. Many young people made mistakes and fell away from the true path during their
rumspringa,
the “running around” time of adolescents, but it was unusual for a person to be disowned by their family because of such activity.

Elam stared at Katie, trying to see her as her brother saw her. Tears stained her cheeks. She couldn’t disguise
the hurt in her eyes. She was simply a young woman struggling to find her way in life.

“Is what your brother said true?”

“About my serpent’s tongue? Maybe it is. I was ready to pretend to be Amish again so that Rachel and I would have somewhere to live.”

“So you were going to lie to your brother when you faced him.”

“I don’t know what I would have done. I was so desperate.”

Would she have lied? Elam wanted to believe she would have found the strength to tell the truth. “What will you do now?”

“I’ll find work. I’ll take care of Rachel.”

“What if you can’t find work?”

She managed a crooked half smile. “I have a little money put back that I won’t have to use on a bus ticket. If I can’t find work here, then I’ll go to the next town and the next one until I do find something.”

“You can’t wander the country with a baby.”

She shot to her feet. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to take care of my child.”

Elam stared at her dumbfounded as she stormed out of the room and up the stairs.

A few minutes later, his mother came in the room and began picking up toys. “Your sisters are leaving. Ruby has some baby clothes for little Rachel. I thought Katie was in here? Where did she go?”

Elam held up Malachi’s letter. “I heard from her brother today.”

Nettie’s happy smile faded. “Oh. I knew she wouldn’t
be with us long, but I had hoped she could stay a few more days. I’ve grown so fond of her and of that baby. How soon is Malachi coming?”

“He’s not.”

“What?”

“He says that she is no longer kin of his.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

Elam held out the paper. “Read for yourself.”

Taking the note, Nettie settled herself in the chair beside him and adjusted her glasses. After reading the short missive she handed it back. “Well, I never. His own sister is destitute and begging for his help and he is refusing to acknowledge her. No wonder
Gott
sent that child to us.”

“Her brother may have his reasons. We can’t know his heart, only God can.”

“You think this is right?”

“No, but what we think isn’t important.”

Nettie stood. “She is going to need friends now that she has no family.”

His mind told him he could be a friend to Katie, but he realized in his heart he wanted to be much more. Unless she gave up her English ways, that would never happen.

Sunday morning dawned overcast and gray. The warm spell had come to an end. Winter reclaimed the land for a little while longer, sending a cold, drizzling rain that fit Katie’s mood. She would have to make some kind of decision soon. Without her brother, she had no one to turn to now. She needed a new plan.

As much as she wanted to be angry with Malachi, she couldn’t. She’d never felt like she belonged in his home.

Gazing at her baby sleeping sweetly in her arms, Katie tried to block out the despair that threatened to overwhelm her. She was bone tired. Between Rachel’s frequent night feedings and the lingering effects of her hike into town, she could barely keep her eyes open. Any sleep she did get was filled with nightmares of what would happen to them now. No matter what, she had to protect her child.

Outside, buggy after buggy began to arrive. Katie watched the gathering from her upstairs window. Families came together, the men and boys in their black suits and hats, the girls and women in dark dresses with their best black bonnets on their heads.

While most came in buggies, a number of people arrived on foot. Before long the yard was filled with black buggies and the line stretched partway down the lane. The tired horses, some who’d brought a family from as far away as fifteen miles, were unhitched and taken to the corrals.

Nettie had invited Katie to attend services, but she had declined. She didn’t belong among them. She didn’t belong anywhere.

What was she going to do? How would she take care of Rachel? How would they live?

Why had God sent her this trial?

She turned her limited options over and over in her mind. Perhaps Amber had learned of a job Katie could take? It didn’t matter what it was. She’d do anything. Anything.

She turned away from the window. Knowing that the services would last for several hours, she was prepared to stay in her room the entire time. What she wasn’t
prepared for was the tug of emotion she felt when the first familiar hymn began.

Downstairs, the slow and mournful chanting rose in volume, as voices blended together in one of the ancient songs that had been passed down through the generations. No music accompanied the singing. The Amish needed only the voices of the faithful.

Listening to the words of sorrow, hope and God’s promise of salvation, Katie felt a stirring deep within her soul. She knew sorrow, she needed hope, but she was afraid to trust God’s mercy.

Moving to the door, Katie opened it a crack. The song continued for another few minutes, then silence fell over the house. She opened the door farther and caught the sound of a man’s voice. The preaching had begun, but she couldn’t quite make out the words.

Moving outside her room, she stopped at the top of the stairwell where she could hear better. Standing soon grew tiring and she sank down to sit on the top riser.

Cuddling Rachel close to her heart, Katie closed her eyes and listened to the words of the preacher. The scripture readings and preaching were in German, but she had no trouble understanding them.

When the second hymn began, Katie found herself softly singing along as she pondered the meaning of the words for her own life.

When the three-hour service concluded, she heard the rustling of people rising and the flow of social talk getting underway. Shortly, the gathering meal would start.

Suddenly, an Amish woman started up the stairs. When she looked up, Katie recognized Sally.

The young woman stopped a few steps below Katie. “Nettie says you have to eat and it’s time to come down. She won’t take no for an answer.”

Nodding, Katie rose. It was time to face the community she had turned her back on.

She had no illusions that everyone would be as welcoming as Elam and his mother had been. Drawing a deep breath, she descended the stairs with Rachel in her arms.

When she came out of the stairway, she saw Elam off to one side of the room with several other men who were rearranging the benches and forming tables by stacking them together. Not knowing what to do, Katie simply stood out of the way.

It wasn’t long before Nettie caught sight of her. “Katie, come help me set the tables.”

Sally returned to Katie’s side and reached for Rachel. “I’ll take her.”

Handing over her daughter, Katie smiled at Sally. “Thanks.”

Now that she had two free hands, Katie joined Nettie and her daughters in the kitchen. Other women came in carrying hampers laden with fresh breads, meat pies, homemade butter and jams as well as cheeses. Many covert glances came Katie’s way, but no one made comments.

Katie and Ruby began setting a knife, cup and saucer at each place around the tables. Since there wasn’t enough room to feed everyone at once, the ordained and eldest church members would eat first. The youngest among them would have to wait until last.

Katie was amazed at how natural it felt to be doing
such an ordinary task with Nettie and her family. No one chided her or scolded her for sloppy work. She laughed in response to some story Ruby relayed about her boys. Looking across the room, she met Elam’s gaze. He gave her a small smile and a nod. She felt the color rush to her cheeks, but she smiled back.

Looking down, she laid another knife by a cup and saucer. She could almost pretend this was her family and this was where she belonged.

When she looked up again, Elam stood across the table from her. He said, “It is good you’re not hiding anymore.”

She glanced toward the women gathering in the kitchen. “I’m not sure the worst is over.”

“I pray that it is, Katie.” It seemed as if he wanted to say more, but he didn’t.

She watched as he went out to the barn to wait his turn to eat with the other young men. She couldn’t help but wonder how he would explain her presence to his friends.

Elam stood just inside the wide-open barn doors amid a group of ten other young men near his age. He was the only clean-shaven one in the group. They were all farmers and his neighbors, and all were married with growing families. A number of those children raced by playing a game of hide-and-seek in the barn. The dreary weather hadn’t put a damper on the jovial mood of those around Elam.

“Heard you planned on planting pumpkins this year,” Aaron Zook remarked. The bishop’s son farmed sixty acres across the road from Elam’s place.

Aaron had been the one to help Elam develop the area’s newly formed organic food cooperative. Limited to small acreages by their reliance on horses, the local Amish farmers had been struggling to compete with the commercial produce farms in the area. But thanks to Aaron and Elam’s efforts, they were finding a niche in a new, fast-growing market as certified organic farmers.