Katie's Redemption (9 page)

“Prices aren’t what they were last year,” Samuel Stutzman cautioned.

Elam fought back a smile. Samuel always thought last year’s prices were better. “I’m going to try a small field of pumpkins. They’re a good fall cash crop, but mostly I’ll be sticking to cabbage, potatoes and onions.”

Aaron pushed aside his black coat to hook his thumbs in his suspenders. “I’m going to plant more watermelon and cantaloupe. They did the best for me.”

Elam kept one ear in the conversation, but planting and cash crops weren’t what was foremost on his mind. He looked past the array of black coats, beards and black hats to the house. He had no trouble picking Katie out among the throngs of women on the porch waiting their turn to eat. Her simple gray skirt and red sweater made her stand out like a sore thumb. The women of his family surrounded her.

They were making it plain that Katie was a friend and accepted by them. Part of him was proud of their actions, but another part feared their public display of support would bring disapproval down on them. Katie’s history would keep many of the women from acknowledging her.

His mother was talking to Karen Imhoff. Karen’s
father, rather than gathering with the men, was helping move the tables where Elam’s mother directed him.

“Elam, might I have a word with you?”

He turned to find Bishop Zook at his elbow. “Of course, Bishop.”

“Come. Walk with me.”

E
lam walked silently alongside the bishop until they were out of earshot from the men in the barn.

The bishop spoke at last. “I see that Katie Lantz is still with you.”

“
Jah
. She missed the bus.”

“I had hoped to hear she was turning from her English ways?”

“Not yet, but my mother is a good influence on her.”

“Let us pray so.” He took a deep breath and then continued. “There has been talk, Elam. I tell you this because I value you as a member of the church. You have done much to preserve our way of life.”

“I can assure you that nothing unacceptable has happened in my home.”

The bishop stopped walking and turned to face him. “I believe you. You are an upright man, but such talk can take on a life of its own. Some are saying that your family cares more about outsiders than our own people.”

Anger rose up in Elam, but he worked to suppress it. “Because of my father?”

“Word has reached us of your troubles back in Pennsylvania. Perhaps that is why members of the district have scrutinized you so closely. Taking in this woman wasn’t a good idea. We must limit our contact with those who do not believe as we do.”

“What would you have me do? Turn her and her child out to beg on the roadside?”

“Of course not, but surely you could arrange for her to travel to her brother’s home.”

“He has disowned her. The baby’s father has abandoned her. She has nowhere to go.”

The bishop frowned as he rubbed his neck. “Malachi has disowned his own sister? I had not heard this.”

“The letter came yesterday. My mother is only doing her Christian duty in caring for Katie and her baby. Perhaps you can stem this gossip.”

“I will do what I can, but I can only do so much.”

Elam nodded, but his frustration boiled beneath the surface. It was so unfair. He hadn’t lived a blameless life, but he had always loved his faith and tried to do God’s will. His mother was a good and kind woman. That should not be held against her.

The bishop began walking back toward the house. “If Katie’s brother would change his mind it might solve this problem.”

“She does not believe he will. From the tone of his letter, I fear she is right.”

“I will write to Malachi and the bishop of his district and explain the situation. Perhaps Malachi can be per
suaded to listen to wiser counsel. So you are thinking of planting pumpkins. I’ve been considering that myself.”

Elam followed the bishop’s lead and changed the subject back to spring planting.

As they walked back to the gathering, Elam related what he knew about the new variety of pumpkins available, but inside he was deeply worried.

He would not turn Katie and Rachel out of his home, but neither could he stand by and watch his family be shunned again.

Katie was acutely aware that she was the focus of much speculation among the district members. A few of the younger women, friends of Mary and Ruby, came up to be introduced. Some of them Katie remembered from her school days. For the most part, the older women of the group ignored her. Katie recognized many of them as friends of her sister-in-law, Beatrice.

From the covert glances cast her way, she knew most, if not all, were aware that she was an unwed mother.

Another poor Amish girl come to no good in the English world. They would point her out to their teenage daughters as an example of why English men weren’t to be trusted.

She glanced toward Elam. Did he see her as spoiled goods?

As she watched, Bishop Zook left Elam’s side and came toward her. The bishop looked pensive, but Elam had a deep scowl on his face. Apprehension crawled across her skin.

She folded her hands and lowered her gaze. “Hello, Bishop Zook.”

“Hello, Katie. It’s been a long time.”

“Yes, it has.”

“Might I have a word with you in private?”

“Of course.” She folded her arms to keep her hands from trembling.

They left the porch and walked to where a large oak tree provided some shelter from the light mist.

“I’m sorry to hear of your troubles. What are your plans now that you are back in Hope Springs?”

“I will be looking for work.”

“I see. It won’t be easy with a new baby to take care of.”

Katie glanced toward the house. “Life is not meant to be easy. That is why we pray for God’s strength to help us bear it.”

“That is true.”

She studied Bishop Zook’s lined face and saw only kind concern. His long gray beard was considered a sign of wisdom. She hoped that was true. “Is my presence causing trouble for the Sutters?”

“You wish to protect them?”

“I would not hurt them for the world.”

“Let me ask you this. Do you plan to join the church?”

If she gave the bishop that impression, would it prevent the censure of Elam and his family? She didn’t want to lie. She chose a middle ground and hoped it would be enough.

“I have been gone a long time. I need to reaccustom myself to the community before making a decision. Joining the church is not a step to be taken lightly.”

He rocked back on his heels. “That is wise. Since you were not a member when you left, you will not be expected to make a confession to the church should you
decide to begin instructions for baptism. Don’t hesitate to come to me if you feel you are in need of guidance.”

Relief swept over her. She had bought herself more time without an outright lie. “I will keep that in mind.”

As the bishop walked away, Katie headed back to the house. She reached the steps just as Mrs. Zook and several women came out after having finished their meal. The stark expressions on their faces sent a bolt of apprehension through Katie.

Lifting her chin a notch, Katie nodded toward the bishop’s wife. “Good day, Mrs. Zook.”

She didn’t reply. She and the other women turned their faces aside. The brims of their black bonnets effectively blocking their faces from Katie’s view as they walked past her without a word.

Katie’s smile slipped as humiliation drained the blood from her face. She could feel the eyes of everyone watching her. Glancing across the yard, she saw Elam staring at her. He stood without moving for a long moment, then he turned away. Her whole body started shaking.

A second later, Nettie was at her side. “Sally says that Rachel is getting fussy. Why don’t you take her upstairs and I’ll bring you something to eat.”

Grateful for Nettie’s quick intervention, Katie tried to smile, but her throat ached with unshed tears. She quickly fled into the house where Sally was watching Rachel in Nettie’s room.

“I tell you, Elam, I was shocked. The bishop’s wife snubbed Katie in front of everyone.”

Sitting in his living room that evening, Elam pondered what to tell his mother about his conversation with the bishop. He glanced at the ceiling. Katie had gone to her room and hadn’t come down.

Sighing deeply, he said, “The bishop told me talk is already circulating in the community. Some people are saying we are going against the
Ordnung
by allowing Katie to stay here.”

“Are you worried about a few gossips who have nothing better to do? And the bishop’s wife is the worst offender.”

“Which means her words will carry much weight with him. You must take care.”

“Are you trying to protect me or yourself? Search your heart, Elam. Katie is a lost sheep, but she wants to find her way back to God.”

“I have not heard her say this.”

“That’s because you aren’t listening. We must be a light for her, Elam. We can show her God’s goodness and His kindness. If we send her away, we only prove that she doesn’t belong here. That child wants so much to belong somewhere. She has been made to feel apart her whole life. Her heart is crying out for someone to care about her, but she is afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“She’s afraid of the same thing that frightens you. She’s afraid that she doesn’t deserve to be happy.”

“I’m not afraid.”

She took his hands between her own. “I know your heart has been broken. I know your trust was betrayed. None of it was your fault, Elam. You must forgive.”

“I have.”

“You say that, but I think there is still bitterness in your heart.”

There was, and he hated himself for it. “Have you forgotten how much we all suffered when we had to shun
Dat?
How we begged and pleaded with him to come back to God? Do you remember how your friends stopped seeing you? Of standing on the porch and hearing Deacon Hertzler tell both of you that you were excommunicated because you could not bear to shun your own husband. I heard your weeping,
Mamm,
night after night.”

“I have not forgotten, Elam,” she answered quietly. “But I made my confession, and I was welcomed back into the church after your father died.”

He struggled to bring his agitation under control. “But it was never the same. It must be different here or we have uprooted our lives for nothing.”

“And Katie? What part did she play in those sorrows?”

The breath whooshed out of his lungs. He hung his head. “None.”

“She has been abandoned by everyone she loved. You and I, we know the pain of that. Of trusting and loving someone only to find that love isn’t enough.”

“What would you have me do?”

“I would have you show her the compassion I know lives in your heart.”

“W
hat will you do now?” Nettie hung a pair of Elam’s pants on the clothesline and secured them with wooden clothespins. Monday was wash day.

Beside her, Katie hung up one of Rachel’s gowns and reached into the basket for another. “I can’t continue living on your charity.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Nettie mumbled around the clothespin she held in her mouth. She secured another pair of pants and said, “You’ve been a help to me. My wash is going twice as easy with your help.”

Katie rolled her eyes. “You could do Monday wash with one hand tied behind your back.”

Chuckling, Nettie said, “I’ve done it with one toddler on my hip and two at my ankles, but I appreciate your help anyway. I’m not as young as I used to be.”

Picking up a pair of her own slacks, Katie said, “All I’ve done is add to your work.”

“Your few pants and blouses add very little to my workload. You need more clothes.”

Katie was thankful she had packed a few of her pre-pregnancy outfits in her suitcase. “If I keep eating your good cooking, I’m going to have to start wearing my maternity pants again.”

“You don’t eat enough to make a mouse fat. I would loan you some of my dresses, but they’d be much too big. You are welcome to borrow some things from my daughters. Mary will be happy to loan you a few dresses. The two of you are about the same size.”

She’d sworn she would never wear Plain clothes again. After shaking the wrinkles out of one of Nettie’s navy dresses, Katie pinned it to the line. The simple designs and solid colors didn’t seem as restrictive as she’d once thought them. Wearing sweatshirts and jeans hadn’t made her happy or made her feel she belonged in the English world.

She picked up a white sheet. Tossing it over the cord, she adjusted it until it hung evenly. The wind that set it to flapping was cold. The sun played peekaboo behind low gray clouds.

Securing the sheet, Katie said, “Thanks for the offer, but what I need is to get a job. Then I can buy my own clothes and pay rent on my own place.”

“Who will take care of Rachel while you work?”

“I’ll find someone. There must be a day-care center in Hope Springs.”

“It’s not right to let others raise your child.”

Katie sighed. “What choice do I have?”

“Perhaps your brother will reconsider.” Elam’s deep
voice startled Katie and she nearly dropped the pillowcase she was holding.

Why did he have such an effect on her? She took a deep breath to quiet her rapid pulse. “He might if I go to him in person.”

“And if he won’t take you in, then you’ve gone all the way to Kansas for no reason and you’ll be worse off than you are now because you’ll not have a single friend there.” Nettie scowled at her son.

Nettie pulled a shirt from the laundry basket at her feet and shook it vigorously. “What your brother needs is a serious attitude adjustment!”

Katie’s mouth fell open. She looked at Elam and they both started laughing. He said, “
Mamm,
where did you hear such talk?”

Her gaze darted between their startled faces. “I heard Jacob Imhoff say it about his little brother. Why? Doesn’t it mean he must change his mind?”

Smiling at her, Katie said, “It means you’d like someone to beat him up and change his mind for him.”

Taken aback, Nettie raised her eyebrows. “Is that what Jacob meant? Well, I hope and pray your brother finds it in his heart to offer you aid, but I certainly don’t wish him harm.”

Neither did Katie. With her limited options, she knew she needed to find work as soon as possible. “Would it be all right if I borrowed the buggy this afternoon?”

Elam nodded. “I won’t be using it.”

“I’d like to see if I can find work in town.”

“I will drive you.” Elam started to leave.

Katie stopped him by saying, “I can drive myself. I’ve
not been among the English so long that I’ve forgotten how to handle a buggy.”

He scowled at her. “Very well. Have it your way. What time will you be wanting to leave?”

She gestured toward the baskets of laundry waiting to be hung on the clotheslines. “As soon as we are done here.”

“Then I’ll get Judy hitched up now.”

As he strode away, Katie said, “I’m sorry if I made him angry.”

“He doesn’t know how to handle a woman who wants to make her own way in life.”

“I’ve spent my whole life waiting for a man to take care of me. I thought that was the way it should be, but if I hadn’t been so dependent on Matt, and on my brother before that, I wouldn’t be in this situation. I’m not going to blithely put my life in the hands of another man. I’m going to take care of myself and I’m going to take care of Rachel.”

“I believe you will,” Nettie said.

Katie’s irritation faded. “It’s just bold talk. I haven’t a clue how to take care of myself or a baby. Nettie, what am I going to do?”

“Pray to God for guidance and take things one day at a time.”

One day at a time. Nettie’s advice repeated itself over and over in Katie’s mind as she drove toward Hope Springs an hour later. There was little else she could do.

On Main Street, people turned to stare as she drove past. A woman dressed in a red plaid coat and blue jeans driving an Amish buggy was an odd sight to say the least.

At the Trading Post, the same woman that had bought Elam’s bassinet was rearranging items on a clearance rack. She looked up at the sound of the bell over the door. “Welcome to the Trading Post. Is there something I can help you with? Oh, you’re the young woman who came in with that adorable little bassinet. I sold it the very same day. I don’t suppose you’ve brought more, have you?”

Katie decided not to tell her she’d sold it to the man who made it. “Actually, I’ve come looking for a job.”

“I’m sorry. We aren’t hiring now, but we usually take on summer help starting about mid-May. If you want, I can give you an application.”

Hiding her disappointment, Katie said, “That would be great.”

“I’m sure I can sell more of those baby carriers.”

“I’ll tell the man who made mine.” Katie filled out the application and left it with the woman, but the idea of waiting another month and a half for a job was discouraging.

The responses at the other merchants and eateries in town were pretty much the same. No one needed help, but most said they would be hiring when the tourist season got underway.

Dejected, Katie left a half-dozen applications with various merchants and turned Judy toward home.

Katie was unhitching the horse when Elam appeared at her side. He said, “Let me give you a hand with that.”

“I can manage.”

“I know you can, but I’m going to help anyway.” He took the heavy harness out of her hands. “How did your job hunting go?”

“Not well. You may be stuck with me until the tourists arrive.”

“I thought as much.”

Katie pulled off Judy’s headstall and paused to draw her hand down the horse’s silky black neck. Unlike her brother and some Amish, Katie knew Elam took good care of his horses. He was kind to animals and stray women. She shouldn’t read anything into the way he’d cared for her and her baby. “I’m sorry, Elam. If I didn’t have Rachel, I’d just go, but I have to think of her welfare.”

“You are being foolish to worry about this. God will provide.”

“He hasn’t done such a good job so far.”

“Do not mock Him. He brought you to my mother, didn’t He? What better care could He have provided than that?”

“I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated and angry.”

“Angry about what?”

“Everything. I’m angry with Matt for leaving me. I’m angry with my brother for disowning me. I’m angry at the people in town who don’t need help until summer.”

“Are you angry with me?”

She turned to face him. “Of course not. You and your mother have been kindness itself.”

“But you still wish to leave and go back among the English.”

Did she? There were times when her previous life seemed like an unreal dream. She hadn’t truly been happy on this farm, but she hadn’t been happy in the city, either. What was wrong with her? What was missing inside her that made her feel she was always on the outside looking in?

Katie led Judy into her stall, turned the mare loose and closed the gate. Facing Elam, Katie knew only the truth would satisfy him.

“I don’t belong here, Elam. I never fit in, not with my family, not with the other Amish kids. I was always different. Sometimes I used to wonder if I’d ever find a place where I did belong.”

“Would staying here really be so bad?” he asked softly.

Did she imagine the soft pleading in his voice? She must have. It was only wishful thinking on her part. He had no interest in her as a woman. She wasn’t of his faith. It was foolish to consider there could be anything between them.

Katie moved to hang up the harness, needing to put some distance between herself and the man who disturbed her peace of mind. She needed to get a handle on her wayward emotions. “I don’t want to be a burden on anyone. I need to make a life of my own. To do that, I must find work.”

He was silent for so long that she thought he’d gone. When she turned around, he was standing with his hands in his pockets and his head bowed.

Finally, he said, “I’ve been thinking of hiring more help for my woodshop. I’ve been getting a fair number of orders for my baskets. More than I’ll be able to fill once spring planting starts. Ruby, Mary and Sally all work with me in the business.”

“Why haven’t I seen them working?”

“I’ve been remodeling my workroom, but it’s done now. They’ll all be back to work the day after tomorrow. Of course, once Mary has her baby she’ll be at home, but
by then you should be able to pick up her slack. Would you be interested in work like that?”

Katie couldn’t believe her ears. “Are you offering me a job?”

“You will get paid a commission for each piece you make. It won’t be much to start with. Not like the jobs you could get in Cincinnati.”

“A woman with nothing but an eighth grade education doesn’t earn much, even if she can
find
a job in the city.”

“So, do you want to work for me?”

Katie hesitated. “Aren’t you afraid of what people will say?”

He sighed deeply. “Katie, I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“I was expecting it from people like Mrs. Zook and her friends.” She just hadn’t expected it from him. It hurt, but she couldn’t sustain the anger she wanted to feel. She knew he was simply protecting his family.

“I should have shown you the same support my mother did. Let me make up for my lapse of courage. Come work for me.”

She needed work, but she hadn’t planned on having to work beside Elam. She was already much fonder of him than was good for her. Whenever he was near, her heart charged into a gallop that left her feeling elated and breathless. Hopefully he didn’t suspect. She would die of mortification if he realized how often her thoughts turned to him.

She glanced at his face as he waited for her reply. “I’ll have to think on it. I’ve never done any weaving. I might not be any good at it.”

“I can teach you what you need to know. You’ll get the
hang of it in no time. Come. I’ll show you how it’s done.” He turned on his heels and strode toward the front of the barn. Surprised by his confidence in her ability to learn a new skill, Katie followed him.

He opened a door and stood aside for her to enter. Katie paused at the doorway. She rubbed her hands on her jeans. “This used to be the feed room.”

“
Jah,
I turned it into my workroom because it had a good big window.”

“Wasn’t the window nailed shut?”

“I took the old one out and added more. Come in and see what else I have done. Here is where I keep the wood I use for the baskets. I like working with poplar. There’s a big stand of them around the pond, so I don’t have to buy the wood.” His voice brimmed with eagerness to show her his work.

“I remember the poplars.” She recalled their shiny green leaves reflected in the calm waters of the pond in the summertime.

“I also use brown ash. These are some of my finished baskets.” He gestured toward a bin beside the window.

Katie stepped inside the room. The aromatic scent of cedar and wood shavings enveloped her. Elam had painted the walls a bright white. Tools hung from pegs neatly arranged on one wall. A nearly completed cedar chest sat on a worktable. Its lid and a long hinge lay beside it waiting for him to assemble them. In the far corner of the room a tall cabinet stood open.

On the top shelf, Katie spied an Amish doll in a faded purple gown and black apron. It looked out of place among the tools and baskets.

She crossed the room and picked up the doll. Once she’d had one just like it. It had been a gift from her brother Hans. One of her few memories of him.

As she stared at the toy she noticed a small burn hole in the hem of the dress. Her doll’s dress had had just such a hole. A burst of excitement sent her pulse racing. It couldn’t be. Not after all these years. With shaky fingers she turned back the edge of the bonnet.

Thrilled, she spun around clutching the doll to her chest. “You found Lucita.”

The delight in her voice and the happiness shining in her eyes took Elam’s breath away. He’d once wondered what it would take to make her smile at him. It seemed that he’d found the answer.

“Clearly, she must be one of your long-lost toys.”

“It’s my Lucita. Where did you find her?”

“She had been stuffed inside the wall through a gap in the boards. I found her when I was remodeling the place.”

She was still hugging the toy. “My brother Hans gave her to me. It’s the only thing I have from before the fire.”

Elam stepped closer, happy that he had found the toy and kept it all these months. It was a simple Amish doll. The absence of facial features and hair was in keeping with the Amish obedience to the biblical commandment that forbade the creation of an image. It was dressed in typical Amish clothing, a deep purple gown that had faded over the years and a black apron and bonnet.

He said, “Lucita is an odd name for an Amish doll.”

“Hans named her.”

“Hans was the brother who died in the fire?”