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Authors: Louis Sachar

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The Duchess of Bathwater

“So, what are you?” asked
Clarence.

“Uh,” said Marvin.

It was after school. He had just walked out of class with Nick and Stuart.

“He’s a prince!” said Nick.

Marvin wished Nick hadn’t said that.

Clarence glared at Marvin.

Marvin shrugged.

“I’m sorry I pushed you this morning,” said Clarence.

“Huh?” said Marvin. “Oh, well, that’s okay. I don’t mind.”

Clarence held out his hand.

Marvin shook it.

“Hah!” laughed Nick. “You’re afraid Marvin’ll throw you in the dungeon.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Marvin told Clarence. He wished Nick would quit saying things that could make Clarence mad.

Clarence looked at Marvin. “Do you want a quarter?” he asked.

Marvin shook his head.

Stuart elbowed him. “Take it, Marvin,” he whispered.

Clarence pulled a quarter out of his pocket. “Here, you can have it.”

“No, that’s okay,” said Marvin.

“Take it,” said Clarence.

Marvin took it.

“Thanks,” said Clarence.

“You’re welcome,” said Marvin.

Clarence walked away. Nick and Stuart cracked up.

Casey Happleton and Judy Jasper came out the door.

“Good-bye, Prince Marvin,” said Casey.

“See you tomorrow, Prince,” said Judy.

The two girls ran away, giggling.

Marvin looked at the quarter. He wished Clarence hadn’t given it to him.

“A quarter is nothing to a prince,” said Stuart. “Do you know how much your allowance is going to be?”

“A hundred dollars a week?” guessed Nick.

“More,” said Stuart.

“A thousand?” asked Marvin.

Stuart shook his head. Then he said, “Your weight in gold.”

Nick whistled.

“You should eat more,” said Stuart. “The
more you weigh, the bigger your allowance.”

“You could have three ice cream sundaes a day,” said Nick.

“Four,” said Stuart.

“Five,” said Nick.

“Six!” said Marvin.

“C’mon,” said Stuart. “Let’s go to your house and call up your father.”

“Why?” asked Marvin. His father worked at an office in Washington, D.C.

“The King of Shampoon,” said Stuart.

“Oh, my
father
!” said Marvin.

“Duh,” said Nick.

They went to Marvin’s house. He tapped the red post as he walked through the gate.

They went straight to the phone in the kitchen. Stuart gave Marvin the number to call.

Marvin looked at the phone.

“Don’t you want to call him?” asked Stuart.

“Sure, I do,” said Marvin.

He wasn’t sure.

“Well, do it,” said Nick.

“I will,” Marvin said. “Don’t rush me.” He picked up the phone.

“What are you going to say?” asked Nick.

Marvin took a deep breath, then dialed the number.

“Are you going to call him
Dad
?” asked Nick.

A woman answered the phone. “How may I direct your call, please?” she asked.

“I would like to speak to His Royal Highness, the King of Shampoon, please,” said Marvin.

“Oh, that’s good,” said Nick.

“I’m sorry, the King isn’t here. May I help you?” said the woman.

“It’s me!” exclaimed Marvin. “I’m the King’s son. The one he’s looking for.”

“And your name?”

“My name?” Marvin smiled at Nick and Stuart. “Prince Robert.”

The woman laughed. “That may very well be,” she said. “However, we’ve received lots of calls. Do you go by a different name?”

“Oh,” said Marvin. “Marvin Redpost.”

“And when can you come in for your test?”

“My test?”

“Yes, a blood test.”

“Oh,” said Marvin. “I was afraid I’d have to know the capital of Shampoon, or stuff like that.”

The woman laughed. “No, it’s not that kind of test,” she said.

Marvin liked the way the woman laughed. It sounded almost as if she was singing.

“How about eleven o’clock tomorrow?” she asked.

“I have school,” said Marvin.

“Four-thirty?” asked the woman.

“Okay,” said Marvin.

She told him where to go for the test. It was at the Watergate Hotel in Washington, D.C. Fifth floor.

“Excuse me. Are you my mother?” asked Marvin.

“What?”

“The Queen?” asked Marvin.

She laughed again. “No,” she said. “I’m just—” She stopped. “I’m Lady Jennifer, Duchess of Bathwater.”

“Oh,” said Marvin. “Well, it was very nice talking to you, Lady Jennifer.”

“It was nice talking to you, Marvin. I hope you really are Prince Robert. I like you.”

Marvin hung up the phone. “Tomorrow at 4:30,” he told his two best friends. “Now all I have to do is get my mom to take me there.”

6
A New Car
for Mrs. Redpost

Marvin was sitting at the dinner table. Mrs. Redpost had made chicken
tacos. His favorite.

He hoped she wasn’t really a kidnapper. Then he’d have to lock her in the dungeon.

“Mr. and Mrs. Redpost,” he said. “I have something important to tell you.”

Mr. Redpost crunched into a taco. The juice ran down his sleeve.

“Mr. and Mrs. Redpost
?” asked Mrs. Redpost.

“Linzy. Jake. You need to hear this too,” said Marvin.

He took a breath. He wasn’t quite sure how to say it.

“Well?” said Jacob.

“Marvin Redpost is dead,” said Marvin.

Jacob laughed.

Mr. and Mrs. Redpost stared at him.

“And when did this happen?” asked Mr. Redpost.

“About nine years ago,” said Marvin.

“Well, I must say,” Mrs. Redpost noted, “you are looking quite well, considering.”

Then she and Mr. Redpost cracked up.

Linzy burst into tears. “I love you, Marvin,” she sobbed. “Don’t be dead.”

“Don’t cry, Linzy,” said Marvin.
“I’m
not dead. Marvin Redpost is dead. I’m not Marvin Redpost.”

Linzy kept crying.

“You’re not?” asked Mr. Redpost.

“No,” said Marvin. He turned to his former mother. “Sorry, Mom. I mean, Mrs. Redpost. I know this comes as a great shock to you.”

“Well, it certainly is a surprise,” she replied.

“Who are you?” asked Jacob.

Marvin took a deep breath. “My name is
Prince Robert. I’m the Lost Prince of Shampoon.”

“Oh, I heard about him!” exclaimed Jacob. “The King of Shampoon is in Washington looking for his lost son!” He turned to Marvin. “You’re him? Neat!”

“I think so,” said Marvin.

Marvin explained the whole thing to his family. How the kidnappers hid the baby prince in the hospital where Marvin Redpost was born. Then Marvin Redpost died, but they had an extra baby lying around, so they gave it to Mr. and Mrs. Redpost.

“Well, it all sounds very logical,” Mr. Redpost agreed.

Linzy stopped crying, but her lower lip still trembled.

Marvin felt sorry for her. It is always hardest on the children.

“I’ve got red hair and blue eyes,” Marvin said. “Everyone else in this family has brown hair and brown eyes.”

“So what do you plan to do about this?” asked Mrs. Redpost.

“Stuart got the phone number from the news,” said Marvin. “I called it. I spoke to Lady
Jennifer, Duchess of Bathwater.”

Marvin stopped. Now came the hard part.

“I’m supposed to go to the Watergate Hotel tomorrow at 4:30. For a blood test. Can you please take me there, Mrs. Redpost?”

She looked at him.

“I know it’s asking a lot,” said Marvin. “Especially since you’re not my mother. But I’m sure the King would be very grateful. He’ll probably pay for the gas. I bet he’d even buy you a new car.”

“I’ll be happy to,” said Mrs. Redpost.

“Thank you,” said Marvin.

“I’m going to miss you, Marvin,” said Mrs. Redpost.

7
They′re
All Exactly Like You!

The next afternoon Marvin sat in his room, waiting to go. He wondered what he should take. Maybe he
should pack a suitcase.

“Wait a second,” he said. “It’s not like I can’t come back here.”

Prince Robert could do anything!

He could come back later for all his junk. Or better yet, send a servant for it.

“Do you want to live in a castle, General?” he asked his lizard.

General Jackson stuck out his tongue.

Jacob came in. “I just thought of something, Mar,” he said. “Maybe Mom and Dad are really the kidnappers.”

“I thought about that too,” said Marvin. “But then she wouldn’t take me for the blood test. It’d be too risky.”

“Unless.…” said Jacob.

“What?”

“Unless she’s not really going to take you.”

“What do you mean?”

“No, never mind,” said Jacob. “If she killed you, she’d have to kill me and Linzy too. She wouldn’t do that.”

“Probably not,” Marvin agreed. “Not Linzy, anyway.”

“Marvin!” shouted Linzy from the bottom of the stairs. “Time to go!”

They got in the car.

Jacob and Linzy were going along. They
planned to meet Mr. Redpost for dinner in the city.

“You’re welcome to come to dinner too, Prince,” said Mrs. Redpost. “If you’re not too busy.”

“Thank you,” replied Marvin. “But I imagine I’ll have a lot to do.”

He knew Mr. and Mrs. Redpost didn’t believe he was Prince Robert. He saw the way they had smiled at each other when he told them about it.

They probably thought it was just some kid-thing he was doing.

That was okay. Just so long as Mrs. Redpost was taking him to the Watergate Hotel. It didn’t matter what she thought.

“You won’t play baseball anymore,” said Jacob. “You’ll have to learn how to play polo.”

“I can play polo,” said Linzy.

“You can not,” said Jacob.

“I can too,” said Linzy. “Marco.”

“Polo,” said Marvin.

“Marco,” said Linzy.

“Polo,” said Marvin.

Marvin played “polo” with Linzy all the way to the hotel. It was a stupid game, but he didn’t mind.

He was going to miss playing stupid games with Linzy.

Mrs. Redpost parked the car at the Watergate Hotel. They walked across the parking lot and into the lobby.

“No! I don’t want to!” a boy shouted. He had red hair.

BOOK: Kidnapped at Birth?
13.85Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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