Lavender Lies (Historical Romance) (39 page)

Amelia came to her feet. "I do not believe you! I will not accept the fact that Lavender is ... dead. She was a strong swimmer. If it wasn't too far from shore she

488

could have made it."

Hope sprung alive in Julian's eyes. "There was a storm."

"That does not matter. Nicodemus would never have allowed Lavender to drown."

Julian studied Amelia's face, recognizing the same stubborn pride that he had admired in Lavender. "I am going to borrow from your faith, Miss Daymond. I will not believe Lavender is . .. gone until you tell me you believe it."

"Can I assume she left England without your knowledge?"

"Yes."

Amelia looked into the dark eyes, seeing more than he was saying. She knew in that moment that the duke loved her niece and he was tormented by the thought that she was dead. "We will wait together for some word of Lavender," she said with confidence.

When Lavender stepped off the fishing boat at Norfolk, she felt her heart plummet at the sight of the British soldiers that stood guard at the waterfront. Her eyes met Nicodemus's, and they both wondered if Virginia had fallen to the British.

After being questioned by an English officer, they were allowed to leave the waterfront. Lavender hastened her footsteps toward a hired carriage, hoping to find someone who would give her news of the war and tell her what had happened in her absence.

After Lavender and Nicodemus were seated in the carriage, they tried to draw the driver into conversation. "The English seem to be guarding the waterfront," Nicodemus said, watching the man's face.

"Yes," the man answered, offering no further information.

Lavender, feeling the heat with her powdered wig on, leaned her head closer to the window, hoping to catch a breath of air. "We have been out of the country for several months and do not know how the war is going. Will you tell us?" she said.

"It goes one way and then the other. I saw you talking to them redcoats. Why didn't you ask them how it was going?"

Nicodemus eyed the man. "I think you mistake our politics, good sir. Both my . .. brother here and myself are freedom lovers."

The man looked at them suspiciously. "You gentlemen can't fool me for one minute. I know London attire when I see it. If you are trying to find out my loyalties, I don't mind telling you straight out that I fought with George Washington, and I'd still be with him if it weren't for the musket ball that shattered my kneecap."

"We have been in London all right, sir, but we are true patriots. All we want from you is to find out how the war is going."

The driver lit his pipe, taking his time in answering. "Well, now that's hard to tell. There are more British than you can shake a stick at, and them damned Hessians, too. I'd say that they have decided to take Virginia, with the help of that traitor and coward, Benedict Arnold." The man puffed on his pipe. "I heard tell if we was to catch Arnold we would bury with honors his leg that was wounded at Saratoga, while we hanged the rest of him. Now that's all the information you are getting from me. I get paid to drive this carriage, I don't get paid to satisfy the curiosity of people who may or may not be who they say they are."

Lavender couldn't help but smile at the driver. It was good to be home, she thought.

"Sir, would it be possible to hire you to drive us all the way to Williamsburg?" Nicodemus inquired.

"You ain't got enough money to convince me to drive you to Williamsburg. My God, you must have been out of the country. There's a shooting war going on between here and there, and all around this part of Virginia!"

Lavender felt her heart stop beating. "Take us to the blacksmith shop where we can find horses," she said with panic rising in her voice. "And please hurry."

The ride from Norfolk to Williamsburg seemed as if it would never end. Several times Lavender and Nicodemus would hear a patrol coming in the opposite direction and would be forced to hide in the woods as the redcoats passed. Lavender was desperate to find out how her aunt was faring in the middle of the war. She needed to know that Chandler had not come to any harm, because she knew wherever the fighting was, that's where her brother would be.

When they neared Williamsburg, the sound of distant cannon fire spooked Lavender's horse, and she had to pull back hard on the reins to control the frenzied animal.

As they entered the town, Lavender was astounded by what she saw. French troops crowded the streets, their guns ready, their eyes trained on anything and anybody who looked suspicious.

"Dear Lord, Nicodemus, is the world coming to an end?" she asked, whirling her horse out of the road so a wagon loaded with cannons could pass.

His face held a grim expression. "It seems the war has found us," he stated dryly.

Lavender nodded, her eyes searching the streets as she looked for a familiar face among the hoard of soldiers. "We must hurry, Nicodemus. Aunt Amelia may be in need of us."

25

After Nicodemus had seen Lavender safely inside her aunt's house he had gone directly to his quarters. Lavender stood in the entryway, thinking how quiet it was, and feeling uneasy. However, she was encouraged when she found nothing had been disturbed and everything appeared to be neat and orderly. A floorboard creaked at the top of the stairs, and she whirled around to see Phoebe staring down at her. Lavender forgot she was dressed as a boy and dashed up the stairs, causing the servant girl to back against the wall in fright.

"Phoebe, it's me, Lavender. What's wrong with you? Don't you recognize me?"

Phoebe looked doubtful for a moment, and then a smile lit her face. "Miss Lavender, we was thinking we'd never see you no more. Dis man came looking for you, and he don't know where you was."

Lavender could not make sense out of Phoebe's excited rambling. "Where is my aunt? Is she in?"

"Yes'm she done went and laid down, since she was feeling poorly from thinking you was dead."

"Why ever would she think that?”

"Well, it was this man, and he—"

"Never mind," Lavender said. Tossing her powdered wig at Phoebe, she dashed down the hallway and into her aunt's bedroom. The room was in shadows, and Lavender approached the bed silently in case her aunt was asleep.

"Lavender, is that you?" Her aunt's voice cut through the silence. Scrambling off the bed, Amelia Daymond grabbed her niece and hugged her tightly. "Child, child, God be praised, I had given you up for dead!"

Lavender felt her aunt's cheek pressed against hers in a rare show of affection. "Why would you think I was dead, Aunt Amelia?"

Amelia Daymond held Lavender at arm's length, looking her over carefully. "Your husband was here, Lavender, and he said you left London three weeks before his departure. He discovered the ship you boarded in London was called the
Sea Princess
. That ship was hit by a squall off the Carolina coast and sank. Since there were no survivors, he naturally feared you had drowned. Even then he did not give up entirely."

Lavender felt her knees go weak. "Aunt Amelia, what are you talking about? Are you saying that everyone on board the
Sea Princess
lost their lives?"

"Yes, dear. But we thought you were on that ship when she went down. How did you escape?"

Confusion muddled Lavender's brain. "I became ill in Trinidad and was unable to continue the voyage when the
Sea Princess
left port. Nicodemus and I took a later voyage. I am saddened that so many people lost their lives."

"Yes, you could have been among them. Thank the Lord you were not on that ship."

"You did say Julian is here in Williamsburg?"

"Yes, he is, child. He comes by to see me every day, hoping there will be some word of you. He has had men searching for you all up and down the coast on the slim chance that you survived the shipwreck and were washed ashore. He is not a man who gives up easily."

"Where is he staying?"

"He is at the King's Arms Tavern. Do you want to see him?"

She shook her head. "No. I cannot see him just now." Lavender felt her body tremble. "Why would Julian come here? Doesn't he know he could be taken prisoner by one of the French soldiers I saw parading the streets?"

"You forget the people in Williamsburg believe he is Julian West from Georgia. They do not know that he is an Englishman."

"Did you never tell anyone that Julian was an English duke?"

"No, I merely told them that you and Julian West were married and you went with him to his home. Never mind about that now, Lavender. Open the curtains so I can have a look at you. I want to see with my own eyes that you are not a ghost."

Lavender did as she was told, and soon the room was bathed in bright sunlight. As her aunt's eyes moved down Lavender's trouser-clad form, Lavender saw her smile. "Is that what the well-groomed young lady is wearing this season in London?"

Lavender was too shaken by the knowledge that Julian had come all the way from England to find her to find humor in her aunt's witty observation. "I had to pretend to be a boy so I could sneak out of England," she explained. "After I was aboard ship, I was forced to continue with the farce."

Amelia took Lavender's hand and led her to a chair, where she made her sit down. "You look dead on your feet, child. 1 believe you should have something to eat and then go straight to bed."

"What do I do about Julian? He did not come this far just to pass the time of day with me. I suppose he should be told that I was not on the Sea Princess when she went down."

"1 will send Jackson to the inn where the duke is staying to inform him that you have arrived safely. Anything else you may want to do concerning your husband will keep until you are rested."

Lavender knew her aunt was right. She was just too weary to face Julian at the moment. She did not know whether to be happy that he had come for her, or angry because he had pursued her all the way to Williamsburg. Rising to her feet, she hugged her aunt. "1 will just go to my room and lie down for a bit. I find I am very fatigued. Just tell me if Chandler is all right."

"As of a month ago, he was in the best of health. The last 1 heard, he was in Richmond."

Lavender felt as if at least one weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She was thankful that her brother was still alive.

Lavender awoke with a start. Everything was cast in darkness, but she knew someone was in the room with her. She did not have to be told that Julian was nearby, because she could feel his disturbing presence in some inner part of her being. She swallowed hard, fearing to face him. Slowly her eyes became accustomed to the dark and she saw his outline where he was standing by the window.

"Julian, is that you?"

"Yes, I'm here."

She wanted to run to him, to feel his strength fill her whole being, but she dared not. "But what are you doing here, Julian?"

She heard him move across the room until he stood over her. "1 suppose you could say I have come to right a great wrong, Lavender. It seemed while you were with me, I could never think clearly, and I punished you unfairly. After you had gone, I was forced to take a long, hard look at myself, and I did not like what I saw."

"Julian ... the baby?"

"He is fine. I will tell you about him in a moment. First let me say what I came to say."

She swung her feet off the bed and came to a sitting position. "If you would like, I will light a candle."

"No. It is hard enough for me to humble myself to you without having to watch the pity in your eyes."

"I don't understand what you are saying, Julian. Why should I pity you?"

He sat down beside her, taking care not to touch her. "Pity is the most I could ever expect you to feel for me, Lavender. I would count myself fortunate if you do not detest me."

"Julian, I do not—"

"Please allow me to say what I have come to say. It must be apparent to you by now that I have come to ask your forgiveness, and to ask you to forget what I did to you."

She could not see his face, but she felt his nearness. She also felt a lump in her throat, and hoped she could speak. "I do not know if either of us will ever forget, Julian. So much has passed between us that was destructive. If I forgive you, will you also forgive me for what you think I did to your brother?"

"Lavender, I do not believe that deep down I ever thought you were responsible for William's death. Now I have finally come to the conclusion that neither you nor I should feel guilty because William took his own life."

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she was glad the darkness hid it from Julian. "Why did you wait so long to come to this conclusion, Julian? You could have saved us both so much heartache if you had understood the truth sooner."

"I cannot undo what is done, Lavender. But I can see that you receive recompense for all you have suffered at my hands."

"Julian, I want nothing from you."

He was silent for a long moment, and when he spoke his voice was hardly above a whisper. "Not even our son, Lavender?"

Her breath quickened. "I . . . what did you say?"

"I have brought our son to you. I now know he needs to be with his mother. I think you need him, too."

Lavender's hand trembled as she reached out to him, and she drew it back before it came in contact with him. "You have brought the baby to me?" she asked in wonder, hardly daring to believe she could have her baby with her.

"Yes. But I have to be honest. I do not think I started out with the thought of giving him to you. I think 1 only meant to use him to force you to come back to me." Silence hung heavy in the room until Julian continued. "After I thought you might have met with an untimely death at sea, I realized ... I knew that if you were to turn up unharmed, I would give the baby into your keeping, asking nothing in return."

She wiped the tears away. "Nothing?"

"Perhaps you could tell my son about me, and when he is older he could come to Mannington for a visit." His voice became deep with emotion. "Perhaps, if you are feeling generous, you might even allow him to be educated in England when he reaches school age. You see, whether he lives with me or not, he will one day inherit my title and lands."

She was trying hard not to cry. "I don't even know my son's name."

"I named him Michael for my father."

"You said you were going to name him for your . . . brother."

"I changed my mind, because I didn't want to hurt you anymore, Lavender."

"I do not understand, Julian. Why the sudden interest in my feelings?"

He stood up and took her hand, bringing her up beside him. "I have much to answer for, Lavender. This is my way of saying I am sorry." She could hear the smile in his voice. "You will note I did not say I apologize, but that I am sorry. I remember everything you say to me."

"I know you must love the baby. It must be very difficult for you to walk away from him?"

"Yes . . ." He was silent again as if he were wrestling for the right words. "But I love you more . . ."

Before she could answer, he had turned away and disappeared through the door. Lavender wanted to run after him, but she stood rooted to the spot. Could she have been mistaken? Had he said he loved her! She eased herself down on the bed, feeling as if she could not breath. She swallowed several times, hoping she did not give in to tears again.

When she could stop her body from trembling, she moved out into the hallway, her feet hurrying to the front door. Before she got there, she heard a carriage drive away. Flinging the door wide, she watched as the carriage was swallowed up by the night.

Her aunt spoke up from behind her. "Come into the house, Lavender, I have something to show you."

In a daze of pain, Lavender's footsteps took her back in the house. She felt her heart beating faster as she saw the strange woman holding a baby! "Lavender," her aunt said. "This is Mrs. Mayhew, a wet nurse. I believe you already know the person she is holding in her arms."

Lavender took a hesitant step toward her baby son. Tearfully she gathered him to her breast and rained kisses over his soft little cheek. She touched his hands, his hair, kissed him again and again, thinking her heart would burst with happiness. "Have you seen your great-nephew, Aunt Amelia?"

"Indeed I have. He and I are becoming old friends. Now, since the hour is late, why don't you let Mrs. Mayhew take the baby to the bedroom and put him to

500

bed. There will be plenty of time for the two of you to get to know each other."

Reluctantly Lavender relinquished her baby to the smiling woman. "I will be up later to see him," she said, asserting her rights and remembering when she had not been allowed to see her son.

"Very good, madam," the woman said, moving up the stairs.

When Mrs. Mayhew had gone from sight, Lavender faced her aunt. "Do you know anything about this?"

"I know that Julian brought an English wet nurse with him, but the woman wants to go back to England, so he found Mrs. Mayhew here in Williamsburg. She is very trustworthy, if that is what is worrying you."

"No, it's not that. I was wondering how long you had known about the baby."

"When Julian learned you had returned, he came here straightaway. We had a long talk, and that was when he told me about the baby and the bargain between the two of you. He told me that he was giving you the baby, and that he would be leaving tonight."

Lavender whirled toward the door. "He is leaving? When? Where is he going? Why didn't he give me a chance to tell him how I feel about him?"

"I don't know the details, Lavender. As to where he is going, he said something about the atmosphere around here being unhealthy for an Englishman. I assumed he would be returning to England."

"I have to go to him," Lavender said, running to the door. "I have to tell him I love him, Aunt Amelia."

"You cannot catch up with him, Lavender. If it is your wish, I will have Nicodemus see if he can locate him and ask him to return."