Letters of Love (Green Division Series Book #3) (22 page)

*****

Aubrey’s heart settled back into her chest.  It had taken her an hour to build up the nerve to call Ben.  And she would have to find that nerve once again when she pulled into Ben’s driveway.

The drive was painstakingly long, though the car traveled at 55mph, it felt like it was barely creeping.

She pulled into the drive and stared at the small log cabin.  This was it.  This was what she’d avoided for months and feared so much.

KNOCK KNOCK

Ben opened the door.

“Come on in.”  He stood back and held the door for her.

“Thanks.” 

Ben led her into the living room and they sat on the couch together.

“So what is this all about?”  Ben leaned forward and held his hands together.

“I told you there was a lot you didn’t know.”

“You used that line a time or two.”  Ben’s mannerisms weren’t cold, but they weren’t excited either.

“You see, there’s a reason I couldn’t offer you more.”

“Couldn’t?  That’s past tense.  Are you offering more now?”  Still his mannerisms were still even.

“That’s for you to decide.”  Aubrey’s stomach fluttered with butterflies.  She felt as though she was naked in a crowed auditorium, on full display.

“You still are beating around the bush.”  Ben looked down at the ground.

“It’s not exactly an easy topic.”  Aubrey ran her hands through her hair, a nervous habit.

“You can trust me.  You know that.”

“I trusted Junior Merrill too.”

“I don’t know what this Junior Merrill did, but I’m not him.”

“Ben—”  Aubrey took a deep breath.  “My fiancé ended our relationship because I was raped.”

Ben’s eyes tripled in size.

“It was the most hellish experience in my life…but what was worse was Junior dumping me after the fact stating I was tainted…dirty…and he couldn’t look at me.  He blamed me.”

“You were raped?”  Ben tried to wrap his head around her words.

“Nearly four years ago.  And after it all happened…I mean the guy was prosecuted and he’s in jail, but Junior, he couldn’t get over it.  He never looked at me the same.  And I couldn’t do it again.  I couldn’t put my heart out on the line to a man only to know when they found out what happened to me that he—you—would look at me like you’re looking at me…then run away.  I’m damaged goods.”  Aubrey kept her composure, it took all of her strength to do so, but she did.

“Jesus…I’m sorry that happened to you Aubrey.”  Ben put his hand on her knee reassuringly.

“So, now you know the secret.  Why I’m so guarded and afraid.  If I get attached and tell the truth, I get that look.  How you’re looking at me right now.”  Aubrey wiped at her face before the tears could form.  “And then you feel bad for me, but say sorry I’m not interested.”

“That’s as far from the truth as it could get.”  Ben scooted over on the couch next to her, angled his body toward hers, and took her hands.  “You should have told me.  God it’s not your fault.  And you’re not tainted.  You’re beautiful.”  Ben smiled at her.

“You don’t have to be nice.”

“I’m not being nice, I’m being honest.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t know how.  It’s not an easy subject.”

“I know it’s not…”  Ben reached over took her in an embrace.  “I wish you’d told me.  I would have understood.  I do understand why you’re scared.”

“So what do you think now that you know the truth?”

“I think you have to be the strongest woman I’ve ever met.  Most women would have been destroyed, yet you’ve carried on and made so much of a difference in so many lives, including mine.”

“What you said to me before…do you still feel that way?”

“I think I’ve told you how I feel a few times now.”  Ben pulled back from her.  “And I still feel that way.  This doesn’t change a thing.”

“You’d still love me?” 

“I never stopped.”  Ben pulled back from their embrace.  “The question is—how do you feel about me?”

Aubrey broke into a smile and shed a few tears.  “I love you.”

“Seems we finally agree on something.”  Ben wiped the tears from her eyes.  She looked down at the ground and smiled.  “I love you too Aubrey.”

“Thank you for not running away from me.” 

Ben placed his hand under her chin and raised it so she was eye level.  “You’re the one who runs.  That stops now though, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”  Ben lowered his lips to hers and kissed her sweetly. God he missed that taste.

“I missed you.”  She pulled him back into an embrace and settled her head into his neck.

“I missed you too.”  He kissed the top of her head.

From there things progressed.  Aubrey did not make it home.  The only place they progressed from was the living room to the bedroom, the bed not even on its frame.  The fear Aubrey had of rejection, or hurt and pain dissipated.  Ben was a chance worth taking.  Her perfect man.

CHAPTER THIRTY

A year to the date upon Tiffy’s passing.

“We are supposed to open this today.”  Ben walked out his bedroom into the living room where Aubrey lounged in a chair tired from the commute to his house for the weekend.

“What is it?”

“A letter that I was strictly instructed to not open until today.”  Ben passed it to her.

“Tiffy?”  She looked at it shocked.  It was another handwritten letter like the first she’d received upon her passing.  On it the words “Aubrey & Ben” were written, along with red and pink hearts drawn upon the outside.

“Tiffy.”

“You open it.”  She passed it back to him somber.

Ben looked at it like Aubrey had and slowly opened the envelope.

Uncle Bennie and Aubrey,

So it’s been a year and you better have listened to my instructsions by not openin this until then.  I know this letter is gonna reach you and you’ll be sad, but don’t’ be.  I’m okay.  I wanted to say I’m glad you two are finally together.  It took you forever.  See, the ten year old nows what shes tawking about sometimes, huh.  You made my final wish come true, for you two to realize what was in front of you.  Thank you, love you both and I’ll see you in heaven some day.  Oh, and I hope it’s a boy.  The family could use some boys in it so Daddy and Uncle Bennie can do the things they love so much, hunting and fishing and playing golf.  All the love from heaven above.

<3 Tiffy

“She still doesn’t fail to amaze me.
  She knew we’d work it out.”

“She knew a lot…”  Aubrey said in shock.  “How…”

“Because she’s a smart kid.  I’m not sure what all that talk was of a little boy.” Ben smiled.

Aubrey’s face went white as a ghost.

“Um, well.”

“Well?”  Ben’s eyes widened.

“I was waiting until I went to the doctor’s tomorrow before I said anything, but I’m late.”

“How late is late?”  Ben said still in shock.

“A couple weeks…”

“You took a test?”

“It came back positive…”

“So I’m going to be a father.”

“You’re going to be a father…”  Aubrey said apprehensive.

“I’m going to be a father.”  Ben repeated numbly.

“Yes…”

Ben smiled brightly and pulled her to her feet.  “I love that little girl.”  He picked Aubrey up and spun her around.

“I guess this means you aren’t upset.”

“I’m excited.  I’m going to be a father.”

“We’ve established that Ben.”  Aubrey smiled and laughed.  “We’re going to have a baby.”

“I love you.”  Ben kissed her and the smile wouldn’t disappear from his face.

“I love you too.”

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