Lost Paradise (24 page)

Danial rolled his eyes. “Theo, for all the
times I saw you coming in at four in the morning after you had
changed form in my forest, you think I don’t know what you look
like naked? You’ve seen me naked, too, on occasion. Just because
we’re in bed doesn’t mean something is going to happen—”

But Danial wanted something to happen with
the three of us; it was obvious. Not that the thought wasn’t
interesting. Now that Devlin had made us realize the possibilities,
we’d both found that we enjoyed experimentation. But that
possibility wasn’t something Theo needed to face right now. We had
more important things to think about besides fantasies.

“We should all be clothed,” I interjected,
coloring. “I don’t need to have any temptation, Danial. If we all
have some clothes on, it will be that much easier for
everyone.”

“You should leave as soon as possible,”
Danial urged. “We can discuss night clothes later.”

“Is Terian back?” I asked, carrying my dishes
to the kitchen. “We need his help—”

“He is, but he’s no match for Titus,” Theo
replied. “Just like I’m no match for that snake.”

It was on my lips to tell them that Lash was
dying, that Theo might be able to beat him now in a fight. But I
said nothing, remembering how he’d broken Vince’s neck and bit Kev.
Lash might be failing, but he was still deadly enough to kill
Theo.

“Go,” Danial commanded. “I’ll contact Terian.
Speed is of the essence.”

* * * *

Four hours later, Theo and I were on the road
back to Danial’s in separate cars, having left Ivan and Janice in
charge of our home. I was lost in thought, replaying the scene at
our house when we’d arrived.

Theo had been teasing Ivan for Janice’s
nickname for him, Van. Janice had countered with a dig at Theo’s
full name, Theopolis, leading Theo to reveal that his mom had been
reading a religious book about Ireland, researching his family
roots when she was pregnant. That had led to a brief foray into
babies names and how activities during pregnancy influenced them.
Suddenly the conversation had ceased, Janice and Ivan no longer
meeting my eyes. I didn’t know if it was because one of my babies
was Devlin’s or because of Lash. I’d blurted some thanks for them
watching our house, and then they’d left to get lunch in town.

What had bothered me most was that the
packing hadn’t made me emotional at all. I’d been gone so much
these past few months that no place was home anymore. But my pets
would be there; all three cats were in stacked cages beside me on
the seat meowing loudly. Theo, Danial, and my children were there.
That was my family. That was all that really mattered.

Chapter
Ten

The minutes dragged by as I followed Theo in
the truck to Danial’s. Desperate to assuage my depression and the
loud cat pleas for release, I flipped on the radio.

...
your love is like a shadow on me all of
the time....

Bonnie Tyler’s
Total Eclipse of the
Heart.
I’d loved this in high school. I turned it up.

Once upon a time, I was falling in love, now
I’m only falling apart.

There’s nothing I can do, a total eclipse of
the heart.

Once upon a time there was light in my life,
now there’s only love in the dark...

I flipped it off, irritated. “I don’t
remember those lyrics. Some love song.” I rode the remainder of the
trip in silence punctuated by loud meowing.

As we pulled into Danial’s long driveway, it
began to snow. Winter was reminding us that it was still in
control. There would be a few hard months before we found ourselves
in the warmth of spring.

How had so much gone so wrong? I’d thought
having Theo, Danial, and Devlin would be paradise, had even wished
for it last fall and winter. I’d wanted Devlin to really want me,
for Theo to leave Tasha and come back to me, for Danial to drop
Monica, and love only me. I’d gotten my wishes, all of them, and
the reality was nothing like I’d thought it would be.

I pushed my thoughts aside, angry with
myself. It was past time to stop griping, and start taking control
of my life back. I’d share it with whomever of the guys was willing
to accept my terms. I knew I could count on Danial, if not Theo and
Devlin. He and I could handle this, so long as we stood
together.

* * * *

Hours later, I put the last shirt away and
sighed with relief. Danial’s dressers were bulging with the clothes
Theo and I had brought, but everything had fit. Theo’s hand-carved
chairs were now in the great room, giving it a rustic touch. My
cats Jesse, Cavity, and Ash weren’t fighting with Briar, though
Briar had seemed leery of Ghost and Darkness. The Cougar and the
Woman were safe in the corner cabinet with Theo’s other
carvings.

“Do you feel like a late dinner?” Theo asked
from the doorway.

“Yes,” I answered. “Can you make some
sandwiches? I’ll be right out.”

Halfway through my sandwich, my mind began to
wander off Theo’s chitchat. All I could think about suddenly was
that I’d rather be eating my sushi back at Hayden.

“—
I’ll be gone tomorrow,” Theo
continued. “If you want, I could pick up some new DVD’s or books
for you.”

Maybe I should call Dev. He’d been so angry
and jealous over Lash. He’d just reacted like he had because of
that.

“I know you have a lot of email work, but
I’ll try to schedule my meetings so we—”

Dev would be so happy if I called him. I
could imagine his rich voice laughing, and teasing. He loved me.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, if I lived with him…

“Danial!” I shouted, making Theo jump. “Come
here quick!”

There was several thumps on the stairs, then
Danial appeared. “What is it, Love?” he asked, coming to me. “Do
you have contractions?”

“I need your blood!” I said frantically.
“Quick!”

“Why?” Theo said, leaping to his feet.
“What’s happening?”

“Devlin’s blood is working on me, calling me
back to him,” I said, my eyes wide in fear. “I need Danial’s blood
to keep me rational—”

“Won’t his work the same way in you?” Theo
said quickly.

Danial leaned down and kissed me deeply,
opening his mouth on mine. I kissed him back desperately, not
caring that Theo was watching. A sweet coppery taste flooded my
mouth laced with an undercurrent of spice, that same hint of nutmeg
I often smelled on Danial’s skin.

In a few seconds the taste vanished, and
Danial broke the kiss. “Do you still want to go to him?” he
asked.

I closed my eyes, examined my feelings, and
then opened my eyes with a snap. “Yes. And I know why. He’s been
careful to give me his blood as often as possible and as much as
possible since Christmas. It was his intention all along to keep me
in thrall to him with his blood!”

“Then how’d you break his thrall now?” Theo
began suspiciously.

Danial’s eyes tinged red, and he kissed me
again, harder, his tongue delving deep into my mouth, the spice no
longer a trickle, but a torrent. I swallowed over and over
blissfully. Danial suddenly went to his knees, pulling me down to
the floor with him as my chair fell over with a crash.

“Stop,” Theo growled. “You’ve given her
enough!”

The thought raced across my pleasure-laden
brain that he was right. Danial should be stopping me. But I didn’t
want him to.
Not ever…

The torrent slowed abruptly. I burrowed into
Danial’s lips with mine, trying to get more.

Danial broke away, pushing me back from him.
“Stop, Sar! Stop!”

Groggily, I got to my hands and knees, then
started towards Danial. Theo grabbed hold of me.

“Let—ahh!” I snarled, falling back to land on
my ass.

“No,” Danial whispered fearfully.

“Danial, what have you done?” Theo said in a
strangled voice, staring at me.

“Sarelle, go look in the mirror,” Danial
ordered. “Now.”

At least he didn’t sound afraid anymore. I
got up and went into the bathroom, the bright light making me
wince. My reflection wasn’t a surprise to me: luminous skin, bright
green eyes, and dark pink lips with blood on them. But when I went
to wipe the blood away, I cut my lip.

I opened my mouth hesitantly, bracing myself
for fangs. But my teeth appeared normal. A casual light touch that
sliced open my finger reveled they weren’t. My teeth were as sharp
as Danial’s now.

Rationalizing that this was the price for
being lucid, I grabbed a pen and paper from Danial’s night stand
and went back out to Theo and Danial.

“I’m fine,” I wrote. “This is how I looked at
first when Devlin saved me. My teeth are sharper, though.”

“I felt them,” Danial said with a faint
smile. “You bit me, trying to get more of my blood.”

“Sorry,” I wrote, then squeezed his hand.

“Do you feel him calling to you now?” Theo
asked.

I shook my head, then wrote, “Ask just yes or
no questions, please.”

“Tell me if that changes,” Danial said.
Giving me a light kiss on the cheek, he went back upstairs.

I thought about whether I should write a note
that told him I’d help him tomorrow, then let out an irritated
sigh.

Theo came over to me and took my hand in his.
“Are you sure you are okay?”

I nodded, then pointed back at our uneaten
food. Theo nodded, and we went back and resumed eating.

That didn’t last long. I bit myself a few
times on the tongue on my first few tries. Irritable, I’d given up
and fed the sandwich to Ghost and Darkness, who had gobbled it down
greedily, wondering how much harder eating would be if I’d grown a
true set of vampire fangs. The cuts had healed almost immediately,
but they’d hurt a lot.

Motioning I was going to bed, I left Theo
with his third sandwich and went into Danial’s bedroom. Lying down
on his bed, I let myself drift into sleep.

Sometime later, Theo woke me when he entered.
“I hope you feel better,” he said, coming to sit beside me. “You
had a rough night.”

I made a face carefully and nodded.

“I talked to Elle; told her we’d be staying
here for a while. I told her it was because of Robert, but I think
she knows I left something out.”

Someone, you meant
. I nodded again,
then patted his hand.

Danial came into the bedroom and shut the
door. “Any change?”

Theo shook his head.

Danial walked to the dresser, opened a
drawer, and then tossed a pair of pants to Theo, taking out one for
himself. He began to undress.

Theo dropped my hand, got up, and went into
the bathroom.

Danial put on the bottoms, and then got into
bed. “Come to bed when you’re ready, Love.”

I took off my clothes, got into a long
flannel nightgown that covered everything, and then went into the
bathroom to brush my teeth. Theo was sitting on the toilet, looking
like he was sixteen and about to take his first driver’s test. The
silk pants were in his hands.

“Why’d he give me red?” he whispered. “I hate
red.”

I wanted to laugh, but didn’t. I made motions
with my hands that indicated there was nothing to be done about the
situation, and went about my business.

“What if I touch him in the night?” Theo
whispered.

I gave him a look that said there were many
more important things to be worrying about.

“I don’t want him to touch me!” Theo said,
making a face.

I snorted with laughter, then sighed and took
out my pen and paper. “Look, it is obvious neither of you are gay!”
I wrote, “What are you afraid of? Danial is not going to seduce
you. You know him, you’ve been friends for years.”

Theo took the pen and paper. “But I can see
this turns him on,” Theo wrote back. “He likes the idea of us
together in bed.”

He was writing his response because he
hadn’t wanted Danial to overhear his words
. “So what if he
does?” I wrote. “You’re an adult who can make choices.”

Theo looked at me in shock. “Do you like the
idea?” he wrote, adding three question marks.

I wanted to tell him that Devlin had, but
decided that would be cruel. “Theo, until the children are born,
nothing is going to happen,” I wrote. “We can discuss this in the
morning, when I’ll hopefully be normal again.”

Theo gave me an uneasy look and sat down on
the edge of the bathtub, pants still in hand. He made no move to
get undressed.

I was too tired for this. Giving him a kiss
on the cheek, I patted his arm with my hand and left.

Danial was waiting beneath the covers. I
slipped in beside him, and he turned and embraced me, snuggling
close. “I heard you talking,” he said softly. “This was why I
didn’t want him to know, Sar. I worried he would be uncomfortable
around me if he knew.”

I was not getting the paper and pen again.
“You showed him pics of you and Dev with women years ago,” I
managed, talking very, very slowly.

“Seeing pictures is one thing. Actually being
in bed together with a woman is another.”

I nodded, then closed my eyes to tell him I
was done talking for the night.

For once, Danial didn’t take the hint. “I
must tell you something,” he whispered.

My eyes snapped open. Whatever this was, it
was serious. I turned to face him, expectant.

“I wasn’t here for Christmas,” Danial said.
“I expected with your curious nature that you would ask me about
it, especially after all your questions on our trip to Letchworth.
I feel awkward bringing this up, after so much time has passed. But
I wanted to tell you I was sorry that I had missed Christmas with
you, that I hadn’t been there myself to give you the earrings and
the poem.”

Reluctantly, I reached for the pen and paper.
Danial handed them to me.

“Well?” I wrote, then crossed it out,
flushing at my bluntness. “You were on a job,” I wrote. “I assumed
it was dangerous, too dangerous to come home?”