Mail Order Romance Bundle #1 (6 page)

“A man who wants to marry me.” Josie pulled out a leather portfolio from behind her and opened it. Inside were a collection of letters, all addressed to her. “These letters are from a man named Sam Dawson who was looking for a bride. But he's not looking for one any longer, because he found one.”

Her mother's face was one of utter confusion. “How do you know him?”

“Remember Hannah Foley?”

“Yes, of course I do, the Foleys lived on the floor above us at the boardinghouse. What does Hannah Foley have to do with this?”

“I don't know if you remember this, but she used an agency, a Mail Order Bride Agency that helps men out West find wives by matching them with women here in the East. Before she left, I asked her about the agency that she used and gave me their card. At first, I was interested because I wanted to find a husband for you, and give us the chance to start over somewhere far from here, where we'd had so much pain.”

“But you never even mentioned it to me, or at least, not that I can remember. I was really suffering then and have forgotten so much.” Her mother's voice was quivering as her thoughts went back to the dark days of her depression.

“No, mother, I never got the chance to mention it to you, because shortly after that you met George, and after that, you were back to yourself again. And despite the way I feel about him now, that is one thing that I will always be grateful to him for. There wasn't a reason for me to use the agency. But for some reason I kept the card and then later I came across it again. This time, I was interested in using it for myself, so I wrote the agency to find out information about it.”

“But, you're only eighteen? Why are you in such a hurry to get married?”

“Because I needed a plan, a plan for a future for myself in case my worst fears were realized and you would not be able to help me. I needed something to give me hope. Father taught me that God helps those who help themselves. I can not stand to live here with him. If truth be known, I'm not happy at school, I'm not happy at home, I don't even feel safe here, I'm afraid one day...he'll go too far.”

Her mother held a hand up too her hand and gasped at she understood Josie's meaning. “Never! Oh he would never!”

Josie went on, “I'm miserable here. What I like about the agency is that they match up people who are looking for the same thing. There are some men in a hurry and want a girl who's willing to go on the next train out, and there are others who prefer corresponding with a girl, getting to know her better, to make sure  they are right for each other. That's what I wanted.

I liked the idea of someone getting to know the real me. I feel like boys here, they only like me because I'm pretty, they don't who I truly am, on the inside. This was a chance to have someone love me not for what I look like, but for who I am. And someone has. And I've fallen in love with him, too, he's a wonderful man. At first it was a fantasy, wondering if I could find someone to love me, but it's not a fantasy any more; it's come true!”

“But how? You don't know him? How can you marry someone you've never even met? And to go off to Texas? You can't be serious, Josie!”

“But I do know him, I know so much about him, mother, we've shared our pasts, our dreams and hopes for the future and I know he's right for me. I don't even care what he looks like. He loves me for the real me and that's all that matters. My plan is to leave and marry Sam. It's been so hard for me to talk to you about George, but I knew that I had to give it a shot and talk to you first.”

Her mother was about to speak, then stopped herself. She was lost in thought for a moment, then answered Josie calmly. “Though I would miss you terribly, now that I think about it, maybe it would be best for you to leave for Texas. I want you to be as happy as I've been with George and I hope Sam can provide a good life for you. I'm not going to stand in your way if you've made up your mind.”

She knows
, Josie thought. She knows that George really is guilty of the things she's accused him of, that's why she's not fighting the plans to go off to marry Sam.

“What can I do to help you prepare? We'll have to shop for a wedding trousseau, of course, and there will be travel preparations to be made. Will you marry here, so at least I can meet him?

“No, that's not how it works. I'm afraid that wouldn't be possible, he wouldn't be able to leave the ranch for that long. He told me that he is in love with me and as soon as I'm ready, to let him know and he'll make arrangements for me to travel to Texas to marry him there.”

“We can make arrangements for you, darling, we can pay for your trip, there's no need for him to...”

Charlotte was interrupted mid-sentence by George, who had suddenly appeared in the doorway.“Pay for what trip? Is somebody going on a trip?” he asked cheerfully.

Josie jerked upright, her spine stiffened as she heard his voice. She was so wrapped up into the conversation with her mother, they hadn't even heard him arrive home from work earlier than usual. She had hoped she would've finished the discussion with her mother and had time to get back up to her room before he arrived. But it was too late now.

She stood up, turned to her mother and quickly said, “We can finish talking about this later, I'll excuse myself now.”

Josie tried to make her way out of the room but George took a step to block her. She could feel her heart starting to beat a little faster.

“You can't leave yet, I've yet to hear about the trip we're paying for. Is that how I'm welcomed home?” He laughed as he leaned in and gave Josie a kiss on the cheek. She kept her eyes on her mother the entire time.  A hint of agitation flashed in her mother's brown eyes.

“Yes, Josie, you must stay so we can tell George about your trip.”

Josie gulped. She hadn't had time to express her wish to her mother that she'd like to keep her marriage to Sam just between them until it was closer to the time she'd have to leave. Her eyes pleaded with her mother to stop, but her mother wasn't looking at her anymore, she was looking at George.

He walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek as well. “Hello, my darling. Yes, do tell me about this trip, please.”

“You might want to sit down for this.”

“Sit down?” He looked at her with eyes full of curiosity.

“We were talking about Josie's wedding trip,” Charlotte told him.

George laughed heartily, as if it was a joke. “Wedding? She's planning out her wedding trip now? Why she's only a schoolgirl. Honestly, there's no need to rush things along, Josie, you'll be all grown-up before you know it.”

Charlotte looked at Josie to see if she would explain and when she didn't respond, she said, “Josie has told me she's made up her mind. She's decided that she is going to marry a rancher named Sam who lives in Texas. They've been corresponding with each other for quite some time and have, apparently, fallen in love, so Josie says.”

“I do love him,” Josie interrupted, “I feel that he we are meant to be together. The trip I'll be taking is to Texas, where I'll marry him. But you needn't have to pay for anything; Sam will take care of the arrangements.”

George looked at Josie as if she had three eyes. His mouth was gaping open and he looked from Josie to her mother and back again. “This isn't a joke? She's serious? Josie, how can you possibly be serious about getting
married
?” He spit the word out as if it were a curse.

“I'm eighteen now, it's my right, my choice, and it's one I've given a lot of thought to.”

“But you have the perfect life here, and your mother is here. Texas is very far away you know.”

Not far enough, Josie thought to herself. How dare he tell her that she had the perfect life. She could feel her blood pressure rising as he tried to convince her to stay.

“Do you not know how beautiful you are, Josie? You'll have local men fighting for your hand, why go off to marry someone so far away, to a man you've never met?”

“You wouldn't understand if I tried to explain it to you. I hate being beautiful. It is a curse and I don't want men 'fighting' for my hand who only want me for my looks. Beauty fades...what happens to me when I age and am no longer beautiful, will I still be a great prize? I want someone who wants me for me. The real me. This was the only way for that to happen. I know Sam, I know his soul, I love him without caring a bit what he looks like and he feels the same way about me.”

Josie did not give George a chance to respond. She turned around and left the parlor and went straight to her room without looking back. She locked her door, plopped on her bed. She missed her father terribly at that moment and would have given anything to have him back to hold her in his arms and to have him protect her. He was the only one who never told her that she was pretty, he said that much was obvious. But without fail, every night, after bedtime prayers, he would tell her that she was smart and good and kind and to always remember that being beautiful on the inside was more important than physical beauty. If only she could have one more day with him...She buried her face into her pillow and cried.

mn

Finally coming out and telling her mother the truth about George as well as her plan to marry Sam had been cathartic for Josie. She felt a weight lifted off of her chest, yet at the same time there was a new kind of burden, that of the elephant in the room. At first, after the announcement, though her mother told her she wouldn't stand in the way of Josie's decision, life just seemed to go on as normal, as if they thought it just a phase and Josie would change her mind. It wasn't spoken of at all. Dinners consisted of pleasant, if not awkward, conversation and the few times Josie attempted to bring it up, it was met with a “we'll discuss it later” or an abrupt change of subject. George continued to make her feel uncomfortable, even more so, to Josie's dismay. Except for dinner, she tried to spend the majority of time in her bedroom.

So on they went, with this elephant in the room, not addressing it, until at last Josie announced that she was not going to finish out the school term. She hated the awkward loneliness she felt in school and, academically was beyond even the schoolmaster at this point. She was self-taught in most subjects and was a voracious reader. Though she loved learning and reading, she hated being at that school and wished instead to spend her last days at home with her mother and packing for her new life in Texas.

George and Charlotte had no choice but to accept Josie's decision. Time seemed to drag on. Josie was beyond excited to meet Sam in person and couldn't wait to be free of George yet she wanted to relish the time with her mother. They had a new traveling dress made for her, as well as a few dresses that would be appropriate to wear for a housewife working on the ranch. A few times she would sink into a bout of anxiety, worried that if truth be told, she knew little of what life on a ranch entailed. From what she knew, depending on the size and income of the ranch, she could be headed for an easy life as a wealthy rancher's wife or a life of drudgery if the ranch was struggling and unsuccessful. She wasn't sure exactly where the Dawson ranch fit into on that scale. One thing that came across through his letters was that Sam was extremely modest. He mentioned he wasn't very smart, yet the intelligence and writing skill he had spoke otherwise. What if it was a life of drudgery that life had in store for her? Or worse, what if it didn't work out? These were questions that consumed her. But she calmed herself by reading her father's Bible and Sam's love letters to her. They gave her reassurance that as long as she was with someone who loved her, she didn't care where she was or how hard she'd have to work to help her husband.

She was enjoying spending time with her mother during the days and was graceful that her mother didn't put up a fight at her decision to quit school. When George was gone, Josie felt like she could be herself, that she and her mother got along better, laughing and talking. She was able to do that because she forgave her mother for not confronting George about the way he treated her...for choosing him. But thought it hurt her, she also understood why her mother had done it. George had saved her from the brink, when she was in that very dark place. She was afraid that if she lost him, she'd  revert back to that place. So she forgave her mother so the two of them could enjoy the time they had left together. Then George would get home and it would get awkward. He would greet Josie with a kiss, though she tried to duck away, or a touch of her hair, or hold her hand a little too long. Charlotte would look away, pretending not to notice. He'd stare at Josie at dinner and always try to hug her when she excused herself when dinner was through.

She was thankful for the escape of her room and her books. She had a heavy heart knowing that she wouldn't be able to bring all of them with her. She would have to choose a few of her favorites to pack. In her bedroom was a set of French doors that led out to a small balcony. On nice evenings, she loved to sit outside and escape. Just sitting, daydreaming or looking at all the stars and feeling so small in the vast universe. She knew that it was one thing she would miss terribly when she left for the ranch and wondered what the scenery in Texas, it was hard to picture just by Sam's descriptions; he had said there was wide open land where the cattle roamed free and the ranch was set in on a small hill. She knew that wide open spaces meant a wonderful view of the night sky and hoped there would be a porch with a swing and to sit with Sam and view of the stars.