Material Girl 3: Secrets & Betrayals (10 page)

Besides, Cain was off in Texas in training camp and she would only get to see him every other weekend. She really didn’t have that many friends except for Dylan and Dylan was off in L.A. trying to become an actress. That left Billie alone for the summer. Her first week at Mass Appeal was nothing short of hectic and chaotic. Every other second she was running errands and butting heads with a fellow intern named State.

He was British, handsome as hell, cocky as fuck and took every opportunity he could to get under Billie’s skin. Billie knew that underneath all of the bickering was an underlining mutual attraction but she wasn’t going to cross the line. State was a player and she loved Cain. In a few years they would be married and living in Texas. She wasn’t going to let some annoying Brit side track her plans. But one day as they worked late on a project, neither could hide their feelings any longer.

Right there in the empty office building Billie and State succumb to passion. The affair went on for weeks. Each encounter was better than the last and before Billie knew it she was head over heels in-love with State. Despite his wandering eye, she couldn’t stop her feelings from growing. Yes, she knew that he was no-good but with her he showed a different side of his self. Many of nights passed where they discussed his childhood in Hackney London.

He revealed that his father was a deadbeat that barely took care of him and his brothers. State’s father was a serial cheater who didn’t come home most nights. He expressed his fear of ending up like his father. He told her how afraid he was of failure and not reaching his goals. They both learned that they had a mutual love for the arts. He told her of his dream of one day owning his own label and becoming the hip hop Berry Gordy. State never revealed or shared so much of his self with anyone else. Billie felt special.

When they made love she could see the look of love in his eyes. She felt it every time they touched. Billie had never felt the way she felt for State for Cain. State was falling for her but deep down he knew that what they shared would never last. He wasn’t ready for a commitment. Although he loved Billie he couldn’t see himself settling down with her at such a young age. Neither of them had ever felt a connection so strong with anyone else but the timing just wasn’t right.

After weeks of secretly dating and hooking up Billie became pregnant. She wasn’t even shocked by the news because she and State had stopped using protection soon after their affair began. She was 100% sure the baby was State’s because she and Cain only slept together every few weeks. Billie and State had been fucking non-stop all summer long. Billie was thrilled. Learning that she was pregnant was the confirmation she’d been searching for.

For weeks she’d been contemplating breaking up with Cain. She didn’t love him the way she did State. Cain didn’t make her feel alive. With him it was always a safe, sure thing. With State everything was spur of the moment and adventurous. The day she was going to tell State she was pregnant was one of the worst days of Billie’s life. She’d been searching for him all over the office building. When she finally found him, she spotted him coming out of the women’s restroom zipping up his pants.

Billie was thoroughly confused as to why he would be using the women’s restroom until she saw their boss Aneese come out a few seconds later, looking disheveled and satisfied. Billie’s heart sank to the floor. She’d never been so hurt in her entire life. When she confronted State on it, he hit her with the famous
“you’re not my girl”
line and kept it moving like she wasn’t shit. After that there was no way she was going to tell him she was pregnant with his baby.

Her only choice was to have an abortion so Billie went to the only person she could lean on during the time, her mother. Cissy was disappointed and distraught over the news. She couldn’t believe that her beautiful, smart, daughter could be so naive and careless. For Cissy, having an abortion wasn’t an option. No, Billie would use her pregnancy to her advantage. Cissy came up with the genius idea that Billie would pass the baby off as Cain’s to ensure that marriage was in their future.

Billie was disgusted by her mothers’ plan but with the threat of being disowned if she aborted the baby looming over her head, she had no choice but to go along with the plan. Once again, Billie found herself living her life for her mother. Shortly after telling Cain she was pregnant they were married. Billie never spoke to State again. Once the internship was over he moved to New York and didn’t come back to St. Louis until many years later. Billie and her mother pretended that the lie they created was real. Billie had actually convinced herself that Kyrese was Cain’s son until Kyrese began to question things. Now here they was years later watching on as their son fought for his life.

“So you’re going to sit up here and pretend like I didn’t catch you fuckin’ Aneese? When I called you out on it you gave me your ass to kiss.” Billie’s voice cracked.

“Billie what did you want from me? I was young and I was selfish. I only did it because I knew that I could never be what you wanted me to be. I cared about you a lot but at the time I was trying to make it by any means necessary and loving you wasn’t a part of the equation,” State confessed.

“So why not say that instead of ripping my heart out of my chest?” Billie teared up.

“I was a coward. I didn’t want to see you look at me the way you’re looking at me right now.”

Billie swallowed back the tears in her throat and sat up straight. Her life was once again a mess. This time, playing make-believe and lying wasn’t going to fix anything. She had to face the reality that from that day forward life would never be the same.

I don’t wanna argue, be angry no more.

-Justine Skye, “Good By Now”

Chapter 11

Angel didn’t know what kind of environment he was going to walk into as she placed his key in the door. The way Dylan left the hospital he wasn’t sure if she’d still be on a rampage or not. In all the years he’d known her, he’d never seen her so belligerent. She’d never come at him the way she had that day. They always talked in calm tones and tried to respect each others feelings. Sometimes things would escalate but never to the point of flat out disrespect.

He thought they’d gotten past the whole State situation after their talk but now with the news that he and Billie were past lovers revealed, a whole new crop of emotions spilled onto the surface. State was like a roach that just wouldn’t die. No matter how many times Angels tried to step on him and kill him, he kept on scurrying. He was the thorn in his side. He’d caused the two women Angel loved most extreme heartache.

The dude was bad news. Nothing but trouble came along with him and for some reason Dylan couldn’t see it. It seemed to Angel that she was madder at Billie than State. Maybe she had a right to be but State still played a major role in her pain as well. Angel placed his keys down on the stand by the door and made his way to their bedroom.

On his way there, he found Dylan quietly tip toeing out of Mason’s room. It was apparent that she’d just finished putting him to sleep. As Dylan closed Mason’s door behind her, she jumped at the sight of Angel. She hadn’t heard him come in. Once she calmed down from the initial shock, she inhaled deep, rolled her eyes and strolled right past as if he didn’t exist.

“So you just gon’ walk past me like you don’t see me?” Angel smirked, following her into their bedroom.

“Yep,” Dylan replied, bluntly.

She was still pissed as hell. She didn’t have the time or the energy to argue with Angel. She’d fed, bathed and put her baby to sleep. She was going to shower and get ready for bed herself and ignore the fuck outta him.

“Oh so you call yourself still being mad?” He took off his jacket and threw it onto the bed.

“Umm, can you hang your jacket up?” Dylan ignored his snide comment.

“Sure mother,” Angel joked, to get underneath her skin.

Dylan paused and shot Angel a look that could kill.

“Don’t play with me.” She rolled her eyes hard then went into her walk-in closet to grab a pair of pajamas.

“You need to chill out man and just to let you know the blood transfusion was a success but Kyrese still hasn’t woke up yet.”

“That’s good to know. I pray he wakes up soon. All we can do at this point is to continue to pray for him,” Dylan said, sincerely but in a dry tone.

“I’m getting ready to take a shower.” She headed towards the bathroom.

“Hold up.” Angel pulled her back by the arm. “Let me holla at you for a second.”

“I am not about to argue wit’ you,” Dylan huffed. “I’m tired of being angry and fighting over stupid shit.”

“I don’t wanna argue wit’ you either.” He pulled her in close to him.

Angel lovingly placed his arms around Dylan’s waist and kissed her on the forehead.

“You know I don’t like to see you upset—”

“Stop making me upset then.” Dylan cut him off.

“It’s not that I’m trying to be mean or nothing. I’m just sick of this dude coming between us. It seems, like every time this nigga name come up it’s a bunch of bullshit behind it. Every time we fight it’s about him. I’m tired of this nigga causing my family pain,” Angel explained.

“But this time it’s just not him. It’s your sister as well. I’m honestly just over the entire situation. I have been mentally fucked today. I just wanna lie down and go to sleep.”

“I know baby.” Angel kissed her again.

“I’m sorry you’re in pain and if it was up to me I would take it all away. Like straight up, what my sister did was hella fucked up. I can’t believe she even did that shit but we can’t let her fuck up what we got. We’ve been through too much shit already and I ain’t letting shit come between us. You my baby and I love you.” He rocked her back and forth.

“I love you too.” Dylan squeezed him tight and closed her eyes.

She wanted more than anything to wish the day away. She wished the accident would have never happened, that Kyrese would’ve never been hurt, that her over ten year friendship wasn’t over and that her heart wouldn’t have gotten stepped on with six inch stilettos. Everything was fucked up. Drake was right. Nothing would ever be the same. The dynamic of her life was ruined and deep within Dylan’s heart she knew that things were only going to get worse.

It had been days since Billie had really ate or slept. She hadn’t left the hospital except once and that was only for little over an hour just so she could shower and dress. She spent every waking moment at the hospital with Kyrese. Every day and every night she sat by his side watching over him and praying that he woke up. He was breathing on his own but he still hadn’t opened his eyes. Her body ached from hardly eating. She felt delirious for not sleeping but none of that mattered to her.

She would trade food and sleep any day just for the gift of Kyrese opening his eyes and calling out her name. But he hadn’t and every day another piece of her died. Billie was dying. All she had was herself, really. Tee-Tee, Angel and her mother were the only people worried about her well being. She hadn’t heard from Dylan. It hurt like hell to not hear from her but Billie knew that Angel was keeping her updated on Kyrese’s condition.

She needed her friend desperately but she understood that she’d done Dylan wrong. Time had to pass before she reached out to her and tried to make things right. No amount of sorry was going to fix it right then. Time would be the only thing to heal the wound. When Cain came to the hospital to visit Kyrese, he didn’t speak one single word to her. He acted as if she didn’t even exist.

Billie, ironically welcomed him acting like she was invisible. What was she honestly going to say to him anyway? She’d destroyed the mans’ life. It was the same with Knox when he came to the hospital. Billie hadn’t even really been talking to her own husband. Conversations between them were awkward and strained. When Knox wasn’t at the hospital with her, he was at home with the girls.

On that particular day he’d come to bring her lunch and for over two hours they’d sat in silence. Billie sat reading a stack of magazines while Knox sat asleep in a chair. Neither one of them wanted to be the one to say it but their marriage was doomed. The trust had been broken. Knox no longer looked at her the same. She was a complete and utter stranger to him now.

He’d never in a million years think that she’d do something so cruel to so many people she so called loved. The fact that she could so easily with hold the truth for so long frighten him. Knox awoke from his nap and glared at his watch. It was almost time for the girls to get out of school.

“I’m getting ready to go.” He cleared his throat while rubbing his eyes.

“Okay.” Billie looked up from that month’s issue of Vogue magazine. “Tell the girls I love them and that I’ll be home tonight to put them to bed.”

“Alright.” Knox stood up and stretched.

“Thank you again for helping me with the girls.”

“No problem.” Knox walked to the door.

Normally, he would’ve kissed Billie goodbye but being sweet and endearing just wouldn’t seem natural. Billie wanted him to kiss her or at least give her a hug but she knew if he did it would come across forced. Having him fake intimacy with her would only make her feel ten times worse.

“I’ll see you in a few hours,” she reconfirmed. “Oh and please make sure that Kaylee and Kenzie eat something healthy tonight. They told me that they’ve been eating nothing but fast food all week.”

“Well, I’ve been doing the best that I can Billie. I have a lot on my plate too with work, taking care of the girls, coming to the hospital and making sure the house is straight,” Knox said, annoyed.