Miles Apart (The Not So Bad Boys of Rock Book 2) (7 page)

BOOK: Miles Apart (The Not So Bad Boys of Rock Book 2)
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Perhaps
I should have asked Reid to wait for me at his apartment, it would have been
more appropriate, considering that we were not dating, we were merely friends.
I knew that he had a mild crush on me, I should have used better judgment.
Surely Sebastian would understand that I had made a bad decision, and he knew
how much I loved him, and that he could trust me.

My
gaze shifted to the kitchen table. Mail and several other items still lay
strewn about the surface. My eyes settled on the large box Mrs. Abbott had
given me. I rose and held it in my hands. It weighed practically nothing, and I
gave it a light shake. There wasn't a return address, but I recognized the
handwriting on the shipping label. I placed it back on the table and opened it
carefully. Inside was a dark pink envelope with my name written on the outside.
I lifted the flap and pulled out the card it contained.

My
sweetest Brooke,

I
know this time apart has been hard on both of us. I also know this is what you
need. Every day without you is sheer agony. Not knowing what you're doing, or
who you are with, it makes me crazy. Just know that no matter where I am, or
what I may be doing, I'm thinking of you. Only you. I hope that you're doing
the same. Just in case that friendly neighbor of yours has any ideas, I had a
little something made for you. I hope you're not mad.

Love,
S.

Setting
the card aside, I pulled back pale pink tissue paper to reveal a pink hoodie. He
knew all too well that pink was my favorite color. A warm feeling ran through
me when I thought of how well he knew me. White lettering adorned the upper
left side on the front of the cotton material. It said two simple words.

Property of

I
turned it over and burst out laughing. I ran my fingers over the large, raised
lettering spread across the back, tracing each one individually.

SEBASTIAN
MILES

I
pulled off my T-shirt and slipped the hoodie over my head. The soft material
was comforting against my skin. Knowing that he'd picked this out for me, his
way of staking claim over me, gave me a warm feeling. Maybe I should have been
offended that he wanted to mark me in this way. But I wasn’t. Instead, I felt
loved.

Most
of all, I felt needed.

Ten
minutes later, my phone rang and my butterfly friends took that moment to begin
their fluttering frenzy, intensifying the queasiness in my stomach.

“Hey,
I’m glad you called me back.” I sighed, relieved to have the chance to explain
myself.

“And
I’m glad that you’re answering, and not some douche bag who's in my
girlfriend’s apartment while she's naked in the shower.” He growled. “Seriously
Brooke, what was that all about?”

“I’m
sorry. I know it must have sounded really bad. I got home from work tonight,
after a really crazy week, and he came over. We were supposed to go to a party
in the building tonight. A bunch of friends just get together each week in a
different apartment, I've told you about it before. Everyone here is basically
a transplant and we just hang out. Any way, I hopped in the shower and he was
hanging out in the kitchen, waiting for me. In hindsight, I should have told
him to wait in his apartment, but I didn’t use my head.” I sighed, fully aware
that I had, in fact, been groveling. At this point nothing was beneath me.

“I
just wanted to hear your voice, imagine my surprise when I heard a man’s voice
asking me who the hell I was, and then telling me that you were naked in the
next room.” His voice went up a few octaves with each spoken word, clearly
alerting me that he was still upset.

“I
know." I replied, in the calmest voice I could manage. "That must
have been very upsetting, but you do trust me, right? You know I would never do
anything behind your back. He’s just my neighbor.”

“Yeah,
and isn’t he the same guy that has a thing for you? Honey, I may trust you, but
I will never trust that guy. I know what men think, especially when they're
looking at you. I don’t ever want to call and find him there when you’re
showering, that’s just not cool.”

“So,
are you telling me you don’t want him in my apartment? Or just when I am not
wearing full body armor?” I chuckled, trying to ease the tension.

“Very
funny. I’m serious, Brooke. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?” His
words pierced me, his deep voice could calm even the most hyper of butterflies.
I knew exactly how I would feel if it had been me calling and having another
woman tell me that he was in the shower. I would have gone ballistic.

“No,
you’re right, I wouldn’t like it one bit. In fact, I would probably be
screaming in your ear right now. I’m sorry. I know that it was inappropriate,
on many levels. I wasn’t thinking.” The groveling continued, without shame. I
had to prove to him that I was serious about protecting our relationship.

“I’m
not asking you to stop talking to the guy, I just don’t trust him.”

“I
know, but I think he’s harmless. I’ve made it perfectly clear, on many
occasions, that I am only interested in you.”

“Oh
have you now? That must be pretty hard to do given that I am never around.”

“Then
maybe you’ll have to change that.” I challenged.

“Maybe
I will." His voice changed from frustrated to husky.

"I
opened your gift."

"Oh
did you now? And?"

"And
I think Reid won't have any problem knowing just who it is that I belong
to." I replied, breathlessly.

"That
was the whole point. Are you wearing it now?" I practically heard his
smile through the phone.

"I'll
bet you would like to know what I'm wearing." I teased, playfully.

"I
want to know everything about you. Always." He answered, all playfulness
disappearing.

“So,
tell me about your day.” I smiled to myself, thankful to change the subject.

"No
way baby, you still haven't told me what you're wearing. You're not getting off
that easily." He laughed, huskily.

"Hmm,
let me see. Your sweatshirt."

"And?"
He encouraged me to continue.

"That's
it." A soft giggle escaped my throat.

"Damn,
baby. You're killing me. You know that?" He groaned. I couldn't help but
laugh at his words, happy that his anger had subsided, and even more thankful
that we were okay.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

CHAPTER
SEVEN

 
 

“Dek has been acting weird lately.” Jade sighed
dramatically into the phone. We were only two minutes into our weekly phone
call when she dropped this beauty on me. I was beginning to realize that
Sebastian and I weren’t the only ones going through a rocky patch in our
relationship, it seemed to be the trend these days.

“What
do you mean by weird? Like not calling, or being too clingy, not clingy
enough?”

“Sshh,
stop talking,” she huffed. Even through the phone I could visualize the pout on
her lips. “I was getting to that. Well, we’ve been dating now for four months,
give or take, and so far everything has been great. We talk on the phone once
in awhile, but we do our own thing, live our own lives. I’m not stupid or
naïve, I know girls are throwing themselves at his feet on a regular basis, and
for the most part I am okay with that. I don’t ask him questions about his
private life, and maybe I don’t want to know, but he doesn’t ask me about mine
either. We’re not really what you’d call exclusive, although he’s the only man
I am currently seeing, even though I never see him…” Her voice trailed off, and
I detected a hint of sadness. “So far we both seem to have been comfortable
with that arrangement. I mean, I never really intended to get attached. I just
figured we would have some fun and that would be the end of it. But lately, I
don’t know, something is different.”

“Wait
a minute, why wouldn’t you expect more? He’s always acted as if he were crazy
about you, and I thought you felt the same way about him.” Now I was confused.
Since when did they have such a casual relationship?

“No,
I know, we are, I mean, at least I am. But this week he has been calling more,
he sent flowers to my office yesterday, Brooke. Flowers. He’s never done that.
It’s like he’s taken a page out of Sebastian’s playbook or something. Do you
think he’s getting more serious about me?”

“Sounds
to me like he’s serious. Maybe being further away from you has got him
thinking. How do you feel about the extra attention? Are you feeing flattered,
or smothered?” I knew Jade, she had been in love with the idea of James Dekker
for the better part of five years, ever since Paradox hit the music scene. Jade
had been an early fan, having had the opportunity to see them perform at their
first live show while on a trip to California with her parents. She’d come home
raving about their music, and I had no idea who she was even talking about, but
two months later their album was released and she’d rushed out to buy it. She’d
played that cd to death, and by the time it had nearly worn out we knew all the
lyrics by heart and I had become a diehard fan.

“I
don’t know, both I guess. I think what I mostly am is scared.” She admitted.

“Scared?
Why on earth would you be scared? This is what you’ve wanted for the past five
years. You and I are living the dream of most women our age.” I shook my head,
baffled by her admission.

“I
know, okay. I’m painfully aware that this is what I have spent the last years
of my life fantasizing about. I just never in a million years expected it to
come true. Before the tour I was okay, things were going along great and I
basically knew where we stood. Then he left and we stopped talking as much,
most of the time I only heard from him once a week. I’d started to believe that
he was trying to end things between us. I had almost gotten myself prepared to
hear him tell me it was over.”

“Jade,
I am so sorry, I had no idea things had gotten that bad for you two.” I winced,
realizing that while dealing with my own heartache and bumpy relationship, I
had managed to neglect the needs of my best friend. “I’m sorry that I was so
wrapped up in myself that I didn’t see that you were hurting too.”

“No,
it’s okay. I know you’ve had a lot to deal with.”

“But
it’s not okay, you’ve needed me and I haven’t been a good friend.”

“Well,
it’s okay, honest. I’m not finished with my story. Things between us are
different than with you and Sebastian. While you both knew early on that you
were meant to be, Dek and I have been trying to find our way. I mean, we had a
physical relationship from the very beginning, you know. After that it was hard
to move forward with that hanging over our heads. Don't get me wrong, I
wouldn't change a thing. I mean, he's Dek for heaven's sake. I would have been
a fool to pass that up." She gave me a sideways glance and I only nodded. I'd
known all about their sexual encounters. Jade never had been very good at
keeping a secret. Besides, at the time Sebastian had made a point of bringing
it up whenever he could, trying to encourage me to take our relationship to the
next level. I often find myself wondering how it was that I had managed to hold
out for nearly four months. "He’s called me every day this week, wanting
to know every detail of my day. I’m not complaining, it’s just strange. Here I
thought I was losing him, and now it’s like he’s afraid of losing me.

“So,
what is it that you want from him? Calling all the time, or barely speaking?” I
asked, already knowing the answer.

“What
kind of question is that? You know the answer. I’m crazy about him.”

“Have
you told him that?”

“Not
is so many words. He’s really sweet and considerate, but he's also got this
hard ass side to him. I don’t know. I’m not sure what to do.” She sighed,
again, even more dramatically than the first time.

“You
need to tell him. What have you got to lose? I think he’s just scared to tell
you how he feels. He may act tough, but I know he is crazy about you. He talks
about you all the time.”

“Oh
really, how do you know that?”

“Sebastian
tells me things.”

“Sebastian
wasn’t afraid to tell you he loved you. Hell, he told you the first week he
knew you.” She guffawed.

“Well,
our situation was a little different. He had the whole hero thing going for
him.” I laughed, and in turn made her laugh. It was great to hear that sound
again, I’d missed it terribly.

“Yeah
that’s true, not all men can be Sebastian Miles.”

“No,
there’s only one Sebastian.” I smiled to myself, feeling blessed beyond measure
that there was only one, and he was most definitely all mine. “But, you know
Dek is pretty special all on his own. I think you’ve found a real keeper in
that one.

“Yeah,
I think you’re right.” She giggled.

 

Sebastian~

 

It was Sunday morning, and I had awakened with
the realization that I needed to call my mom. We hadn’t spoken in a couple of
weeks, which was unusual, but with the tour schedule and the way I had been
feeling, I felt it was probably for the best that I get my head together before
calling her and making her worry. After the birthday fiasco, and my shutting
down for three days, she’d been pretty worried about me. Although she hadn’t
voiced it, I was pretty sure that she had been worried I would relapse, given
my history and how I’d dealt with loss in the past. It wasn’t until I heard her
voice that I realized just how much I’d been missing her. What I wouldn’t give
right now for one of mom’s hugs. Between being away from mom, and not seeing
Brooke, I was mildly concerned that my ribs would weaken in the absence of
their strong holds.

“Hey,
Mom, how are things going with you and Dad?” I asked, relaxing back onto the
bed, one arm slung behind my head.

“Oh,
how’s my baby boy?” She gushed, loudly, drawing the attention of my dad in the
background. I could hear him calling out hello to me, making me smile.

“Tell
dad I say hi back.”

“He
says hello dear,” she called out. They bantered back and forth for a few
minutes while I listened. Just hearing how they interacted with one another
made me miss them that much more. “I’ve been so worried about you, Sebastian. How
are things going? How was your visit with Brooke? I am so glad you two worked
things out.” She spoke quickly, as if trying to get it all out before I
interrupted her, which was usually the case. This time, however, I just sat
back and let her speak, enjoying the sweet sound of her voice. I missed being
home, there was absolutely no denying it. With the waste of the past two years,
except for the last eight months with Brooke, I had lost a lot of precious time
with my family, time I could never recapture. I hadn’t spoken to the guys yet,
but I had already made up my mind that after this tour I needed a break, and by
break I meant I needed to take a step back. The desire to settle down and start
a family had started to weigh heavily on my mind, that wasn’t going to be an
easy thing to do if I had to take off and go on tour every eighteen months.

“We
had a good visit, a bit awkward at first, but it’s all good. Seeing her again
was exactly what I needed. Things haven’t been easy, I’m really ready to be
home. I miss you and dad. Being with my family, and the people I love, has
suddenly become very important to me.” I sighed, the weight of the six thousand
mile distance between us feeling like a noose around my neck.

“Sweetheart,
it sounds to me as if you are ready for a family of your own. Have you and
Brooke been able to talk about the possibility of getting married and starting
a family?” She asked, hopefully.

“Not
exactly. I haven’t felt like the timing has been right, you know? She’s over here,
and really stressed with work, and I’m here and there, freaking out about some
guy answering her phone while she’s in the shower. Things haven’t exactly
worked themselves out, if you know what I mean.” I pulled a hand down over my
face, tugging absentmindedly on my piercing and listening to the clink of metal
as it tapped against my teeth.

“What
do you mean another man was answering her phone? Is she entertaining someone
else while you two are apart? That doesn’t seem like the Brooke I know and
love. What’s going on, Sebastian? Are you two okay?” I could hear the concern
in her voice, carrying all the way from L.A., as if she were right here with
me. Oh, how I wished she were.

“I
don’t know, mom. We’re trying. One minute I think we’re alright, the next I’m
wondering how much more I can take. I know she’s the one for me, I feel it in
my bones, but I don’t know how to get past all the little things that seem to
be standing between us. Right now the obvious is the distance, but I can’t help
feeling like there is something bigger going on. It’s nothing that’s been said
or done, it’s just a feeling that I have, it keeps waking me up at night.”

“Are
you not sleeping well again?”

“I
slept fine when Brooke was here with me. She’s coming in tonight, for a short
visit. We’re going skydiving tomorrow.” As soon as the words were out of my
mouth I wished I could reign them back in.

“Skydiving?
You’re not back on that adventure seeking stint, are you? Please tell me you’re
not doing anything that’s too dangerous. You know how I worry about you. Is Dek
going with you?” The elevated pitch in her voice made my insides cringe with
guilt. The worry that Dek and I had caused our parents, specifically our
mothers, had been hard on them, I hated that I had slipped and made her worry
again.

“Yes,
mom, he went with me one other time. We aren’t getting crazy, we just went
skydiving once to help us unwind. I promise I’ll be careful.”

“I’m
sorry Sebastian, but you know how I worry about you. I can’t replace you. If
something were to happen to you, I don’t know what I would do.” I heard a soft
sniffling and sighed to myself.

“Mom,
I know you worry, and I’m sorry. I’ll try harder to stay in touch more often. I
really do miss you guys. Listen, I better get going. Give my love to dad and
Nikki, and I’m sending you a virtual bone-crusher.” She chuckled on the other
end.

“And
I’m sending one right back at you, baby boy. I love you.”

“Ouch,
mom,” I teased. “That was a powerful one. I needed that, thanks.”

“Always
for you my sweetheart. Take care of yourself, and say hello to Brooke for me.”

“Sure
thing, mom. I’ll call you later this week.”

I’d
no sooner hung up the phone with mom when it rang again. I took a quick glance
at the screen before answering, smiling when I saw who it was.

“Hey
honey, I was just thinking about you. I just got off the phone with mom, she
says hello.” I chattered on excitedly, looking forward to seeing her in just a
few hours.

“Hey,”
she answered, weakly.

“Whoa,
what’s up? You sound funny.” I asked, my mood shifting slightly.

“Baby,
I am so sorry, but I’m not going to be able to leave.” The tremor in her voice
was evident, even over the phone. “We’ve had a fire at the restaurant, there’s
utter chaos going on right now, there’s no way I can get away.”

“No!”
I groaned, banging my head lightly against the doorframe. “What about Max, is
he with you?” Pathetic hope resonated somewhere beneath my guarded surface.
Lately it seemed that we’d become a little too comfortable in not going the
extra mile. This was just another tick on the long list of growing issues
between us, and something that I was not at all comfortable with.

BOOK: Miles Apart (The Not So Bad Boys of Rock Book 2)
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