Motown Takedown (Motown Down Book 3) (4 page)

“Is it true you’ve forsaken all women for the sake of saving yourself for Cinn?
”
Savage laughs into the phone. At his taunt, I stayed silent. What I did or didn’t do for her was none of his business. The more he knew the more he’d use against me, against her and she’s endured enough. “You’ve denied yourself for nothing, Monarch. Trust me, resisting your base urges is futile. Give into them and enjoy the spoils. I know I am.
”
In that moment I knew for a fucking fact he was telling the truth. I also knew he’d irrevocably altered the course of his life. As in he shortened it.

She chose me.

She mother fucking chose me
.

I ached with wanting her but I couldn’t act on it, not yet. She wasn’t ready, at least she wasn’t ready for what I wanted to give her. Cinn has spent years at the hands of a madman. Recently, I’ve caught pieces of how rough he was with her and it’s what she expected because it was all she knew. Yes, I wanted to be all up in that pussy. It was my due, my God damn right but
…
Cinn doesn’t know me anymore and I am not the man she remembers. So we’d start off slow. Shit, I’d been jerking myself off for nine God damn years, a few more days wouldn’t kill me. All this time she didn’t know
…
He’d kept it from her
.
But how in the fuck did I not know? This was my fault and as much as I wanted her, to take her now in my state of mind I’d probably hurt her.

Taking her to the roof for dinner, she looks over the side and smiles at the view of the river. Then looking to her right she squeals when she sees the Ambassador Bridge. She hasn’t been excited like that since I bought her Moby Dick for her birthday when she was fifteen. Turning to face me, she puts her hand out and I take it.

“God, the air
…
Do you know I’ve never been to Canada? And it’s right there, I can almost touch it.
”
Her saying this confirms my initial suspicion; she was a fucking prisoner. “What does being your queen mean?”

“It means we make decisions together. It means that what is mine is yours. We rule together, like I said, my men are now yours. But above all, I want you to be happy,
”
I tell her. “I don’t ever want you to feel trapped or forced. If all goes well perhaps one day you can come to love me.”

“That’s what Savage said,
”
she mumbles.

“What exactly did he say?”

“He said you would take care of me, put me above all others.”

“For once, he was right.”

“I won’t share you,
”
she says going red in the face. I don’t think she even noticed she’d palmed the knife from the table either. My woman, she was blood thirsty. “If there are others I’ll leave now, taking my chances out on the streets. If you put a whore you’ve been with or are with near me, I’ll
kill
her.”

“No others,
”
I vow. “Fuck, this is moving faster than I planned.  I was prepared for you to put up a fight, demand space or at the very least deny my claim but Cinn, I couldn’t be more pleased. Sit with me,
”
I motion her then pull out her chair. “And allow me to explain some things while I feed my queen.”

Placing the napkin in her lap, she takes a sip of the wine poured for her and places her chin on her palm. So young yet, so wise, this one. Cinn is twenty-two to my thirty-five. She commanded an empire but has seen little of life and how it works. The guilt for my part in that cuts deep. The fury of all these years denied us because I took the risk in trusting the wrong man eats at me. Knowing what those years did to her
…
Fuck, I had to focus.

Sliding food onto the fork, I lift it to her mouth and nearly come when her lips wrap over the metal. “The night we found you, I had been with Savage about a year. He treated me like a son, teaching me the business but even then I saw his greed. He certainly didn’t hide it and I knew one day it would cost him. He knew early on how I felt about you but I was too old for you, too wild, too new to this shit. Savage said the choice would be yours when you became an adult. He said you needed a chance to grow up in a safe environment and I agreed. I worked hard to free you, us, but he had eyes everywhere. Spending time with you made those the best years of my life. Had I stayed he would have killed me, maybe you too. He fucking knew how I felt, everyone did. So I took the deal, started my own empire and believe me, I wanted to take you. But, those early years were bloody and no place for you and he knew that. I had trusted he made that fucking deal to keep you safe.”

“My eighteenth birthday was the third worst night of my life,
”
she says with sadness. “The first was my father abusing me, the second was the night you left and the third when Savage thought I was a virgin and realized someone else beat him to it.”

“Did he hurt you?
”
I ask holding the rage back.

“It was so long ago I hardly remember,
”
she deflects. “And anyway, that night was just one of many I’d rather forget.”

“Fuck,
”
I growl. “Cinn…”

“Has there been anyone special?
”
This came out as a whisper, as if she feared the answer.

“What I’m telling you is since you, there have been no others,
”
I tell her sliding more food into her mouth. “Before you, I was wild and ruthless. Women were bodies to use, nothing more. Hell, even then I didn’t fuck around that much. Then I saw you in that alley, fighting for your life but mostly to get that book back in your hands. I fell in love with you on the spot. But I was dirty, Cinn. So fucking dirty I couldn’t look at myself. I didn’t think it’d take me nearly ten years to get you here but all I knew was that one day it would happen. And when it did, I was coming to you clean.
”
Her face softens and I wanted to fuck her on the table but I had more to say, plus, fucking her on the table would ruin my clean speech. “The years since you were spent sacrificing, fighting, gaining ground and waiting for Savage to slip. When he decided to be a fucking recluse he made getting to you impossible.”

“His attempts on your life,
”
she says closing her eyes. “I tried to stop him.”

“He won’t stop, Cinn.
”
When she hardens her jaw, I ease off leaving the next step to her.

“He knows he’s going to die,
”
she says matter of fact. “When he does, what happens to his men? Or rather, my men.”

“Two will join us here,
”
I explain carefully. “The others can rot for all I care.”

“Pope and Gunner are prepared for this?
”
she asks not missing a beat.

“So you knew,
”
I smile giving her another bite.

“There isn’t much I don’t know,
”
she says taking a sip of her wine. “Outside of Camo eliminating The Greek and giving you my message, I know pretty much everything about your business
except
when it came to you personally. Obviously, that was kept from me. So when I figured out your men were in our den, we had an agreement of sorts. To be fair, I didn’t ask about you because if I had, I don’t think I would have been able to pull off the loyalty act with Savage. I spent so much time trying to kill him, if I suddenly stopped he’d know something was up.”

“Let’s talk about you,
”
I couldn’t handle hearing anymore about the life he stole from her. The lies he fed me. From this moment forward, it was about giving her a new life. A life with me. “The next two days are ours alone. What shall we do to pass the time?”

“Just us?
”
Her smile had no equal and it was so stunning, it took me a moment to answer.

“Just us.”

“What do you like to do?”

“You, Cinn, I want to know what you’d like to do. The city is yours, I spent years with you and I know you were denied many – ”

“Putt putt,
”
she blurts then blushes just like she did when she was a kid. “I’d like to try that, if you do.”

“Putt putt it is,
”
I smile wanting her to know nothing was off limits. That any ideas she has would please me. “But that takes about an hour which leaves us about twelve more to fill.”

Thinking on it, she takes a small sip then loses her smile. “After that I’m happy to do whatever you’d like to do.”

“I see you still don’t understand what being a queen means,
”
I say taking her hand and kissing her wrist again watching her eyes blaze. “But you will, I promise you this.”

With that said, we both finished our meals and sipped on our wine in silence. It was a comfortable silence. Carefully, she sets her napkin on the table and walks back over to lean against the wall. Coming up behind her, she lets her head fall back against my chest and I wrap my arms around her middle like we’ve spent our lives in this spot. “Do you remember when Savage had Mo executed?
”
she asks quietly.

“I do,
”
Mo was a young kid, only a year older than Cinn. The night in question broke something inside of her, because she witnessed Savage’s obsession for exactly what it was and wasn’t old enough to understand it. I held her down to silence her when she heard him screaming and that was one of the few times I allowed myself to touch her. And it was to console her and to keep Savage from hearing. Mo was executed for sneaking into her room, to play cards with her. Cinn had wanted to learn how to play poker. She had wanted a friend.

“He was my friend,
”
she says softly. “After that, I didn’t speak to anyone for a month.
”

“Not even me.
”

“No, Monarch,
”
she says. “Not even you.”

“I’m cruel but never to you,
”
I whisper. “You know the game, Cinn. How dirty it can get. If there is a threat to you, I will eliminate it but I would never refuse you friendship as long as it was healthy.”

“Thank you,
”
she says squeezing my forearm.

“Let’s get ready for bed,
”
I say steering her toward the door. Then I felt a punch of lust in my gut but it wasn’t coming from me but from her. Christ, this woman will be the death of me. A death I’d take gladly.

I was reading Wuthering Heights for the fifth time. The triangle used to fascinate me but now it only serves as a reminder of how fucked up my life had become. From across the hall I could hear Savage fucking his latest prize. One that would be sold to a creep named Marco who would do far worse to her than Savage ever could. Her screams didn’t faze me, that shock wore off years ago. Since the men in this den ran skin for Savage it was common they brought their favorites in to sample. According to Cosmo, Savage was a male in his prime and I agreed with this because he sampled a lot. I’ve read several books on sexual health and diseases and if it’s true that by accepting a male inside of you, you’re also accepting his past partners then at seventeen, I was well and truly fucked. I know this because I see the way he watches me. I also knew Savage between my legs was a reality I’d be facing sooner rather than later. I was as sure of this as I was my own beauty. Savage fucked anything with a pulse and wanted to add me to the ranks. Believe me, not a day goes by he doesn’t remind me of that fact. So when he opened my door and stood there with red stained cheeks, messy hair and an open fly all I could do was hold my breath. “Like what you heard, Bean?
”
he grins.

“I wasn’t listening,
”
I say rolling my eyes at the seven minutes of gross I did in fact hear.

“Fill ins,
”
he winks. “You will put them all to shame, I promise you.
”
Closing my door behind him, I shut my eyes wondering if Monarch had fill ins too. I suppose it didn’t really matter because the second Savage slid inside of me I would be nothing more than a whore.

Monarch was not a liar. But how he went without a woman all these years but has one in his bed that is perfect and willing yet doesn’t fuck her is beyond me. I was so desirable that if I woke up with a cock I’d fuck myself. I wouldn’t be able to help it. He watched me undress first, which I made sure was done creatively. Then I watched him in return but he wasn’t creative. He did the male thing and stripped, dumped his clothes in a pile and climbed into bed. Lying here naked with the male I’ve always wanted but still cannot have, depressed me. I couldn’t hide my pout if I tried.

“Stop it,
”
he says pulling me to his side.

“Stop what?”  I ask snidely.

“Whatever it is you’re thinking,
”
he says firmly. “Just because I’m not balls deep inside of you doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be. I will be, Cinn, but not tonight.”

“That makes zero sense,” I argue.

“That a man would want to court you?”

“Is that what this is?”

“Jesus,
”
he says sitting up and wow was he thick. “Fucking you would be easy, we’d both get off too. But I’m going to court you, so get the fuck over it.”

Sitting up myself, I lean in so our faces are inches apart. “Then I’m going to court you too,
”
I tell him proudly. Then reaching for my phone I put a note in it before setting it back down. “Care to share?
”
he asks taking in my body, my face and my excitement.

“Certainly,
”
I smile in return. “I reminded myself to get a book on courting so I can do it better than you.”

“Speaking of books,
”
he says running his finger along my collarbone. “I have a library and I want you to fill it.”

“Me?
”
I ask with wide eyes.

“You,
”
he nods. “Now go to sleep.”

“Sleep?
”
I groan. “I can’t possibly sleep when you’re nearly naked and I’m making out my mental list of books!”

“Let me guess, when you sleep you dream of books?
”
he asks tucking his chin into my neck.

“I used to,
”
I admit pulling his arm around me.

“Used to?”

“Now I’m going to dream of you holding a book.
”
His swift intake of breath made me smile. His arm tightening around me in protection made me melt and his free hand running through my hair made me sleepy. But before I fell asleep I had at least two hundred books in mind for that library.