Motown Takedown (Motown Down Book 3) (7 page)

For escape purposes, I was never taught how to drive. Another point in Savage’s favor. If we had someplace to be, he drove or one of our men drove but never me. I did, however, have a clutch fake ID and used it when I snuck out for my first tattoo. The trouble I went through to get it seems silly since the artist never asked for it. He took one look at me and couldn’t wait to get his hands on my skin. He was mortal, he couldn’t help it.

An hour or so later, I realized in my life I had two things that belonged to me. My fake ID and the man whose name was inked into my skin. One I could hold in my hand while the other was just beyond reach.

After the soak in the pool, I felt sleepy and so did Monarch. We both agreed we aren’t normally nappers but the idea of lying in bed with him doing nothing sounded amazing. Undressing and climbing in, he holds me close and falls under quickly. As for me, my mind was racing. It wasn’t but a handful of hours ago I was being crushed under Savage’s rule. His idea of love had been slowly killing me. Defiance was punishable in a variety of ways, one instance I shared with Monarch but the rest I’d keep to myself. Because I defied Savage a lot and rehashing it didn’t change anything. Savage was a very passionate man, which when he was on a bender never worked out well for me. By loving me too much, in his eyes, hurting me was showing me how deep his love ran. Like I said, fucking crazy.

Sliding my phone on, I look up courting, making mental notes. When his hand slides up my belly to settle on my right tit, I sigh. “You’re not sleeping,
”
he whispers in my ear.

“I’m researching,
”
I tell him running my smooth leg over his.

“I’m intrigued,
”
he groans.

“That’s the idea,
”
I say facing him.

“I’ve never laid in bed with a woman,
”
he confesses and more than anything I wanted to be able to say the same but couldn’t. “Waited for you.”

Saved by his phone ringing, he grunts before sitting up to answer. With one-word responses I do my best not to listen and found staring at his massive inked back a nice distraction. It was the script across his shoulders that had me jack-knifing up to run my fingers over it. In a dark and thick script was my name in old English. The front of his chest including both arms and neck were fully covered. But his back bore only my name. When my fingers start to trace it he sucks in a breath and disconnects his call. He’s undressed in front of me several times already but  until now he’d never given me his back. A beautiful fucking back.

“We’re needed in the office,
”
he says quietly.

“Okay,
”
I say while continuing to trace. “In a minute. When did you do this?”

“The night we found you,
”
he admits. Wrapping my arms around him, I squeeze him before moving around to sit in front of him. Lifting my hair, I bend my neck forward and ask him,

“Look at my neck.
”
Feeling the bed depress, he leans in and swears.

“Jesus Christ,
”
he moans touching my skin. “When?”

“The day you left me,
”
I remember it like it was yesterday, God that was a horrible day and so was every day that followed. “I snuck out, used my fake ID, called a cab and got back in undetected. I felt like a bad ass for not getting caught.
”

Not saying another word, he helps me out of bed and we dressed in silence. Just as we approached the door I found myself up against it with him breathing hard in my face. “Had he known,
”
he growls. “Had he seen, he would have killed you for this.”

“Yes,
”
I agree heartily. “He would have.”

“You risked death for a fucking tattoo with my name on it?
”
he grates. I wasn’t stupid. It was done in white ink and it was hardly noticeable. When Savage was fucking me he stared at everything but my neck, but I couldn’t say this to Monarch.

“I did,
”
was my answer.

Pulling me from the room, he continues pulling me down the steps, to the offices and through the door. Ransom was waiting for our arrival and sat first. Monarch took his seat at the end of the conference table and I followed suit.

In his lap.

He wasn’t getting rid of me that easily.

“I want to see her,
”
I tell him while Ransom took up my right. This was the last deal we had together and we both knew what I expected to happen. Now that this was done, I had no ties to Savage, no loyalty. But he still had something I wanted and used her as leverage every chance he fucking had.

“Maybe she doesn’t want to see you?
”
he smiles. “Maybe she’s happy?”

“Or maybe you keep dangling her like a fucking carrot my man ain’t never gonna get to eat,
”
Ransom offers.

“I’ve received word of a shipment that could make us both very wealthy men,
”
he says eye balling me. “One more ride, Monarch, then we’ll discuss her.”

“I’m already wealthy,
”
I remind him and turning to Ransom I give him the go ahead while I climb inside my truck. I didn’t even have it in gear when I heard the shots fired. One for each knee. Now maybe the next time I ask to see her I’ll be taken more seriously.

The timing of this meeting couldn’t be worse. After seeing my name on her neck knowing she could have died for it put me worlds away. So much so that when I took a seat I hadn’t paid attention to her whereabouts until she sat herself in my lap. Stunned by it, I put an arm around her waist pulling her closer.

Ransom didn’t comment, but I could see he was as pleased as I was. Women weren’t attracted to me by choice. I was not a handsome man. I was a criminal. I looked like one, dressed like one and fought like one. To have Cinn refuse a chair in favor of my lap was almost unbelievable. I knew for fact she was never like this with Savage, but she was like this for me. Fuck, that knowledge was powerful. So powerful that Savage saw it and kept her from me because of it.

“Savage wasn’t pleased by your unannounced call today,
”
he says eyeballing me. “According to Pope he wants your head on a platter and as you already know, he wants Cinn back.”

“And?”

“He’s making a move,
”
he says rolling his eyes. “Could prove to be nothing, could be something. But he’s lost it if he thinks any one of these idiots would give her up should they get their hands on her. They would take her and use her as leverage. He fucking knows this so clearly he’s nuts.”

She didn’t tense or show any signs of anxiety, which meant this didn’t surprise her. But when she spoke, she sure as hell surprised me. “I ran away once,
”
she says playing with my hair that I left down for her. “He sent one of his men to find me, he did and he decided not to give me back. He died at my feet with a bullet to the throat. He will follow through, and I suspect it’s because not only did he survive after I left with you, he also hasn’t had any attempts on his life, which in his mind means you’re weak. He assumes you aren’t following through on my order. We should fix that.”

“You gonna be okay knowing one of us, likely Monarch himself is gonna be the one to do it.”

“Yes.”

“You sure?”

“Do not,
”
I bark pounding my fist on the table. “Question your queen.”

She did not ask me to stand down or back off, instead, like the queen she was, she spoke. “At thirteen I watched your boss take down four men who would have raped and killed me, I did not falter, did not blink. While waiting for Monarch, I built an empire. Which, you’ll note, did not infringe on this one and that was my doing, not Savage’s. I was forced to spread for a man that I did not love and I did it all flawlessly, for the greater good. Death is necessary, undeniable and no one escapes it. In Savage’s case, he brought upon his own demise and in the future should you decide to call me out, I suggest you have your facts straight. My loyalty has always been reserved for one man. Five years I suffered to be where I am right now and it was a sacrifice I would make again. I may be the stuff fantasies are made of, but make no mistake, I can also be your worst nightmare. Am I sure, Ransom?” she asks leaning in. “You tell me.”

“Ransom,
”
I say leaning forward. “Leave.”

With a smile on his face he did just that.

Picking her up by her waist, I set her on the table in front of me and stood between her legs. Caging her in with my arms, she leans back, hooks her legs around me, looks up, smiles and says, “
Now
.”

His fingers bit deep into my skin.

Kudos to me for no longer thrashing in panic. I was used to it now. He’s done this enough to know when it was time to ease up and let me breathe. So when he loosened his grip and the air filled my lungs, I closed my eyes to savor it. While he pumped in and out of me, I focused on the air giving me my life back. “Pain is love,
”
he groans into my ear.

“Then you must love me an awful lot,
”
I say rolling eyes that he can’t see.

“No one loves you more, Bean,
”
he says trying to come and failing miserably. “Hurt me,
”
he begs and I knew the drill. Using my nails as weapons, I score them down his back from shoulders to ass crack. Roaring in satisfaction he settles after a bit then pulls me close to him and smothers me with his body. “You love me,
”
he says dozing.

“I love you enough to kill you,
”
I say to the ceiling.

“I love you enough to let you.”

Everywhere I look there he is.

After picking me up and setting me on the conference table he pulls me forward to wrap my legs around him. He smells of pool chemicals and lust, it’s a heady scent, I want it. With his hot breath in my face, I lean back and tell him, “Now.”

I meant it. Courting could still happen but fucking was on the menu now too, I was game for the ala carte menu. “Cinn,
”
he moans gripping my hips. “You deserve more than a quick fuck on a table.”

“What I deserve,
”
I say pulling him closer, “What
we
deserve, is living in the moment. Death excites me, Monarch. And who said it had to be quick?”

“Cinn,
”
he tries again. No, he wasn’t putting me, off not this time. Palming his cock his head falls forward. “I’ve waited years for this, for you.
”
I squeeze. “I will not wait any longer.”

“You will if I order it,
”
he growls in my face.

“You won’t,
”
I growl right back.  With his fingers digging into my skin he was practically hyperventilating with his need but still wasn’t acting on it.

“You deserve to be worshipped,
”
he clips.

“And you don’t?
”
I counter with a squeeze. “I’ll worship the fuck out of you.”

“Is this how you were handled? Fucked like a whore on office furniture?”

Like he’d punched me in the mouth, I went ram rod straight. Pushing him away, he pulls me right back to him and groans, “Cinn, I’m sorry.”

“No,
”
I snap removing my arm from his grasp. “
I’m
sorry. For thinking you wanted me as much as I wanted you. And for your information, fucking on office furniture would have been a first for me, a first I wanted with
you
. You should have left me where I was, at least there a whore knew her fucking place.
”
Now this may have been the wrong thing to say but I said it and there was no taking it back.

“You are behaving like a cunt not a queen, turn it around quick and remember who you’re speaking to.
”
He says moving away from me and blocking the door. Blocking my fucking exit.

“You barged into my God damn life, became the only light in a dark place then fucking left me there to suffocate. You seem to think that I’m still a little girl but look at this body,
”
I motion from head to toe. “I haven’t been her for a long time, Monarch. My youth was fucked right out of me and replaced with this! You want a queen? A queen takes what she wants, I want
you
but you’ll deny me?”

“You don’t think I blame myself?
”
he roars pinning me to the door he’d been blocking. “Look at me, Cinn, look! I’m not him! I denied myself so when I had you, you could be proud to be mine! He treated you like a whore, paraded you around like a whore, then killed anyone who dared look at you. We’re taking this slow, doing it right and if that doesn’t work for you… too fucking bad.”

“No, you’re not him,
”
I yell in his face. “You denied yourself so I could be proud? Can you hear yourself? I was a fuck toy for a lunatic! A lunatic you made a God damn deal with, for what? Territory? A lunatic you knew would treat me like a whore, parade me around like a whore, and would kill anyone who looked at me. You left me to endure that!”

Breaking free, I duck underneath his arms and wait for him to open the door. Reluctantly he did, and when I cleared he reminded me of my place. “You want to act like a bitch, fine, but don’t leave the grounds. If I have to come looking for you, you won’t like it.
”
Sucking in the hurt, I nod and then turn on my heel in favor of the one place I could breathe. The roof.

Looking out over the city, my city, I would admit I was being a cunt. I was conditioned to fuck, it’s what I did. It’s the only outlet I was allowed. With Savage I just had to mention it and he bent to my will. Expecting Monarch to do it wasn’t going to work and that left me confused. Since I was eighteen, sex was how I expressed myself, I used it as a coping mechanism, an escape and often times leverage.

I was a vessel, a body to be used. With sex I was always in charge and I didn’t know how to handle rejection. Especially, rejection from him. With him I knew it would be different, I’d waited years and endured Savage to get to different. My entire existence led up to Monarch’s kind of different. Right now though, I didn’t like how different felt. I wasn’t prone to it but when it happened, I couldn’t stop it.

I began to cry.

When I felt the first tear fall, I swiped it with my finger quietly shocked to find it was soft. For some reason I assumed my tears would be scalding like fire or burn like acid. Since this was not the case, I let them fall, intent on ridding myself of these foreign feelings.

As was all things me, I cried beautifully.