Moving On (2 page)

“Now, tell me what happened” said Ben in a soothing, strong voice. Clare described what had happened in
London
and told Ben what she had been doing since returning.

“Hmmm, Ok” said Ben. “I know it hurts like hell but it sounds like you haven’t done any major damage. If you want me to I can help with the pain and get you mobile again”

Without thinking Clare said “Yes please. This pain is driving me mad
.
” A small voice inside her head told her this was a bad idea but the intensity of the pain and Ben’s calm nature managed to
reduce this familiar internal
nagging
voice to a
quiet
whisper.

“Alright Clare. I’m sure you’d like to get started today so I need you to lay on your front on the couch” said Ben. “You’ll need to lift your top slightly so I can manipulate the muscles affected in your lower back”

Clare did as she was asked without any qualms or shyness. Somehow this man had managed to gain her trust with just a few words and simple gestures. None of this seemed dirty or sleazy to her and besides, he had probably done this hundreds of times.
She un-tucked her blouse from her skirt and laid gingerly on the couch. While she did this Ben had his back to her. He was rubbing a lotion of some sort into his hands and she couldn’t help but notice how we
ll dressed
he wa
s
.

“Must be married” she muttered to herself as she lowered herself onto the couch.
Ben turned to her and gently lifted her blouse up to just below her bra strap. As he did this he brushed Clare’s bare, sensitive skin and she jumped slightly as though an electric charge had passed between them. “Sorry” said Ben. “Try to relax. This shouldn’t hurt.” He placed his large, strong hands on either side of her spine and began to slowly massage along the length of Clare’s taut muscles. The warm oil worked as a lubricant and also as a form of warming heat and Clare found herself relaxing more and more with each repeated stroke.
Her skin felt smooth and flawless under his powerful hands and Ben found himself enjoying the tactile sensations more than he normally did and certainly more than he should in his professional capacity.

Ben continued to massage Clare’s back until h
e could feel her muscles relaxing and softening under his continued pressure. Clare found herself feeling more and more relaxed as Ben stroked and caressed her tender skin. She kept telling herself that she shouldn’t be feeling like this but she did. She also felt something else. Something she hadn’t felt for a long time. Something deep and primal was stirring inside her and it both scared and excited her. This man was turning her on! She hadn’t been turned on by a man for a long time, not since HE had done what he did in
t
h
ei
r flat that hot, balmy day in June. The feelings and emotions Ben was unknowingly awakening in her were also
disturbing memories she had tried to forget. Suddenly it all came back to her and her whole body tensed up in an instant. “Clare, is everything ok?” Ben asked.

“Yes, yes I’m fine” she lied and got to her feet. “I’ve just remembered. I have to be somewhere in 10 minutes. I’m sorry”

“That’s ok” Ben said calmly. “
We’re just about finished anyway.
Just take it easy for a while. You’ll probably need another 2 or 3 sessions. Is Friday at 11 good for you?”

Clare hadn’t thought about having to come back. Admittedly she had enjoyed the massage and her back felt a whole lot better but the whole thing had stirred something in her which she didn’t want to wake up. Something she didn’t dare wake up.

“Err, yes. That’s fine” she said quickly. She grabbed her bag
and left without saying anything else to Ben or Helen who watched her leave with avid intent. She got in her little silver car and drove off quickly without checking if the road was clear, only stopping a few streets down the road to collect her thoughts and calm down. The whole experience had scared her so much she decided to call her parents and cancel her visit. She went home and watched her favourite soap opera. Real life was too complicated and stressful. She called her friend Donna for a chat and opened up a bottle of wine to help calm her nerves.

Chapter 4

The conversation with Donna
had been a fruitful one. Her friend had listened to Clare’s emotional outpouring with the patience that only a best friend can. When Clare had finished Donna calmly told her that she thought she had over-reacted and had let her past experiences cloud her views. Clare couldn’t help but agree and suddenly felt very foolish and childish. Donna suggested that Clare go to her next appointment on Friday and apologise for her sudden exit. Clare agreed with her best friend and thanked her for her honesty and for the good advice.
Secretly, Clare was looking forward to her next meeting with Ben. He had made her feel emotions she thought were deeply hidden within her. He had also made her back feel a lot better and for that she was truly grateful.

Chapter 5

On the day of her next appointment with Ben, Clare arrived at the practice a few minutes early. She entered the waiting room and walked up to the reception desk where Helen was standing.

“Hi” said Clare in a cheery voice. “I’m here to see Ben” Helen was surprised to hear Clare refer to Ben using his first name. She thought it sounded too familiar and she didn’t like this woman using it.

“What’s the name please?” sh
e asked Clare in an abrupt, almost rude tone
.

“Err, Clare. Clare Browning. I have an appointment at 11” she answered
.

“Is that Miss or Mrs?” replied Helen with the same tone as before.

“Miss” said Clare with a puzzled air to her voice.

“Take a seat Miss Browning. I’ll see if Mr Chartwell is free to see you” Helen barked in a tone which reminded Clare of the head-mistress at her high school.

Helen disappeared into the treatment room and seconds later was replaced by a smiling Ben.

“Clare! Good to see you again” he said cheerily. “Please, come on through”

Clare got up and followed Ben into the treatment room. As she did she couldn’t help
notice
Helen standing in the corner of the room fiddling needlessly with a pile of papers.

“Helen?” asked Ben. “Is there anything else
you need me for
?”

“No, nothing” muttered Helen as she slowly walked towards the door.

“Please close the door on the way out Helen. Thanks” he said to her and turned to Clare.

“
I’m sorry
I’m running a bit late. I had a bit of an emergency down at the boat this morning. Somebody had accidentally rammed into me and I had to go and sort out the insurance. It seems like I am there all of the time these days. It’s a great place to think and get your thoughts in order.
So, how have you been? How’s the back?” he asked Clare. He sounded like somebody asking an old friend how their week
end had been
.

At the end of the session Ben told Clare that he thought only 2 sessions would be needed so this would be their last meeting.
Clare felt that h
e seemed sad
when he said this and surprisingly, she felt rather sad too.

Ben stood up and looked slightly awkward and embarrassed. “I was wondering…” he fumbled. “
I mean
…
I was hoping you would perhaps
allow me to buy you dinner tonight” Clare suddenly felt hot, cold, scared and elated all at the same time. She couldn’t speak for a few seconds which Ben took to mean that he had gotten the wrong idea.

“I’m sorry” he said to her. “I don’t make a habit of doing this and I’m sure you’re in a relationship already” He could feel himself going redder and redder by the second as he tried to dig himself out of the hole he had created for himself.

“I’d love to” said Clare and stopped Ben in his tracks.

“You would?” h
e asked. “That’s great. How about
The
Rochester
?
Is
8 o’clock
okay for you
?
”

“Sounds perfect” Clare said. “I’ll see you then”

Clare reached down to gather her things which were placed neatly on the chair. As she did so Ben bent to help her,
unintentionally
brushing her hand with his as he did so. The touch of her skin felt heavenly and for an awkward moment both of them stood in silence. It was Ben who
finally broke the silence
“Take care of that back Clare. Don’t go skydiving or bungee jumping for a while!”
he joked.

Clare laughed at his little joke more out of politeness than anything else but she thought he was sweet to try to relieve the tension the way he did. Clare made for the door, opened it and stood in the doorway before turning and saying “Thanks Ben
, see you at 8.” She walked out of the reception area past Helen who was reeling from what she had just heard. She knew something was going on between them and now here it was. How could he? After all they had been through. She thought he loved her, she thought she was special but now she knew the truth. She was his
‘
receptionist
’
. That was all.

“Helen, can you lock up tonight? I need to leave early” called Ben from the treatment room. “Yes, that’s fine” replied Helen. “You can count on me” she added under her breath, too softly for Ben to hear. Helen’s heart was beating hard and fast in her chest. “Oh yes, you can count on me” she whispered as the pencil she was holding broke in two. Just like her heart.

Chapter 6

The
restaurant was quietly busy as Clare spoke to the pretty girl on the front desk. She told Clare that her table was ready and that her guest was already seated and waiting for her. She wasn’t late so obviously Ben had got here early to avoid her sitting alone waiting for him. She liked the fact that he was a gentleman and was b
eing considerate and thoughtful, this made her smile and a small voice inside her kept telling her that perhaps he was the one. She didn’t want to listen to that small, quiet voice but a part of her wanted to believe not all men were like HIM. That not all men would treat her the way HE had
. That perhaps, just perhaps, this man was different.

The pretty young girl led her through the intimate restaurant to a table by the window. At the table sat Ben dressed in a smart, plain white shirt immaculately pressed with shiny silver cufflinks. He looked very smart and when he saw Clare he smiled warmly and stood up to greet her. “Hi Clare” he said. “You look amazing.
It’s so nice to see you again
” Ben walked around to where Clare stood and took her left hand i
n his and kissed it gently. He took Clare’s chair and moved it back allowing her to sit down. As she did so he pushed the chair forward slightly at the exact right moment so that Clare was the correct distance from the table. The whole operation was slick and smooth and Clare couldn’t help but feel special inside. Chivalry and manners seemed to be disapp
earing fast in this modern, hectic
, impersonal world but obviously Ben still valued them highly. Ben sat down and smiled. “I’m so glad you came” he said. “So am I” replied Clare as the little voice inside her suddenly got a whole lot louder.

The evening
was going like a dream. Ben was charming, confident and funny in the right combination. He talked a lot but he didn’t dominate the conversation. He was excellent at bringing Clare into the conversation and seemed genuinely interested and fascinated in what she had to say. Clare, with her typical scepticism started wondering if all of this was too good to be true. If this was for real and this was a true sample of Ben and his personality then why wasn’t he married to a beautiful model with two children and a Black Labrador? This was Clare’s suspicious, hurt inner voice telling her that all men were liars and would hurt you as soon and as often as they could. Clare managed to quieten this voice but could not extinguish it completely. She wanted to give Ben a chance, so far he had been genuine and more than charming and
Clare had begun to recognise feelings for him. She thought he felt the same about her and really wanted someone to prove her fears and prejudices wrong.
She wanted that someone to be Ben. She had to give him a chance.

Ben was telling Clare about his boat and about how he loved to go sailing when Clare saw something that made her heart stop. Walking into the restaurant with a very attractive woman was HIM. The man who had promised her the world but had only succeeded in destroying hers on that hot day in June. Her brain instantly raced back to that awful day bringing with it those horrific memories of what she had seen. She couldn’t breathe, she felt hot, then cold, then hot again. She had to get away, get away from HIM and the awful possibility that he might see her. Worse still, he might even speak to her. She couldn’t face that, she had to get out of there. She had to get out of there now!
By this time Ben had noticed that something wasn’t right with Clare. “Are you okay?” he asked. “You don’t look at all well.”