Moxy Maxwell Does Not Love Practicing the Piano (But She Does Love Being in Recitals) (5 page)

“It wasn’t his fault,”
said Moxy. “I mean [there was a slight pause],
I’m
the one who told Sam to get
the sharp scissors.”

Mrs. Maxwell was suddenly alert. “Are you saying it was
your
fault?”

“Pansy’s pink paper-doll scissors wouldn’t cut the towels,” said Moxy.

“So it’s Pansy’s paper-doll scissors’ fault that you had to use
the sharp scissors?”

“No, it was Sam who used
the sharp scissors”

“But it’s not his fault?”

“No, I told him to.” Moxy was getting the teeny-tiniest bit impatient.

“You
do
know what happens to someone who touches
the sharp scissors”
said Mrs. Maxwell.

“Five years,” moaned Pansy.

Mrs. Maxwell looked at the mess on the bathroom floor. Then she looked at Moxy. “What are you doing up here anyway?” she said. “You and Pansy are supposed to be downstairs practicing ‘Heart and Soul.’ ”

“I know,” said Moxy. “But we can’t have the Big Dress Rehearsal until our capes are ready.”

“Yes, you can,” said Mrs. Maxwell. Her voice had a
right now or else
quality to it.

“Maybe we can,” Pansy suggested to Moxy.

Mrs. Maxwell looked
at Pansy for the first time. “What’s on your face?” she said.

“My smile?” said Pansy hopefully.

“No, those black spots.”

“They’re ermine dots,” said Moxy.

Mrs. Maxwell pulled a crumpled Kleenex from between her wrist and the elastic on her
SMILE, YOU’RE IN MIAMI
sweatshirt. Fortunately for Pansy, the Kleenex was clean.

“Come here,” she said to Pansy.

Pansy moved almost an inch toward her.

“Closer,” said Mrs. Maxwell.

When Pansy didn’t move, Mrs. Maxwell
said, “Well, I’m not going to eat you,” and reached out and pulled Pansy to her.

And yes, Reader, even though there was running water on two sides of her, Mrs. Maxwell licked the Kleenex and tried to wipe the black ermine dots off Pansy’s face with her spit.

Then Mark took this picture.

“Mother Attacks Child with Her Own Spit!,” by Mark Maxwell
.

Mrs. Maxwell sighed
. Then she said, “Who gave you permission to use
the sharp scissors
anyway?”

“I did,” said Aunt Susan Standish.

Aunt Susan Standish
was leaning casually against the bathroom door. Her white satin sleeping mask was propped on top of her head like a pair of sunglasses. Her pajamas were made from the same white satin as her mask—the pajama legs fell fashionably just below the knee. The pajama top had three-quarter-length sleeves.

Even when she slept, Aunt Susan Standish was
très élégante
, thought Moxy. In fact, if Aunt Susan Standish hadn’t been wearing a pair of green wool knee socks with a hole in the left big toe, you never
would have known that Aunt Susan Standish was Moxy’s mother’s twin sister.

“Mind if I sit down?” said Aunt Susan Standish.

Mrs. Maxwell slid over so her sister could sit beside her on the edge of the tub.

Here is a picture Mark took of Aunt Susan Standish’s green wool knee sock with the hole in the big toe sitting next to Mrs. Maxwell’s right bunny slipper with the Green Grass Power Shake powder on it. He called it “The Sisters Go Toe to Toe.”

“ The Sisters Go Toe to Toe,” by Mark Maxwell
.

“You
told Moxy she could use
the sharp scissors?”
said Mrs. Maxwell.

“I believe so,” said Aunt Susan Standish.

“But I thought you were asleep,” said Mrs. Maxwell.

“I was,” said Aunt Susan Standish.

“Then how could you give Moxy permission to use
the sharp scissors?”

“Aunt Susan Standish can talk in her sleep,” said Pansy.

Aunt Susan Standish stretched and then yawned. “I’m feeling much better,” she said. “Hello, everyone!” she added as she pulled out of a second yawn. Then she looked at her sister. Then she stretched again. And since her arm was already out there, she reached over and patted the top of Mrs. Maxwell’s head.

“Hello, sweet sister,” Aunt Susan Standish said. “You must be tired.”

“Actually,” said Mrs. Maxwell, “I’m counting to ten. One …”

Moxy was shocked. Her mother was more awake than she’d thought.

“Two … if you girls aren’t down at that piano playing ‘Heart and Soul’ by the time I’m through … three … there are going to be consequences.”

It was hard for Moxy to imagine what could be worse than coming straight home every day after school for the next five years.

“Four …” Mrs. Maxwell was definitely getting her Mother Strength back.

“What consequences?” said Pansy.

“Five …,” replied Mrs. Maxwell. “Six … If you aren’t downstairs playing ‘Heart and Soul’ by the time I’ve finished counting to ten—seven …,” said Mrs. Maxwell, “I’m going to call Ms. Killingher and tell her you can’t be in the recital.”

“Eight” was the last thing Moxy and Pansy and Sam heard as they disappeared down the stairs.

Here is what you
, the Reader, need to know before Moxy and Pansy start playing their recital piece:

1. It is called “Heart and Soul.”

2. Moxy’s part starts a little while after Pansy’s part.

3. Moxy’s part is really really really really
really
hard.

As soon as
they got downstairs, Moxy said, “Sam, would you please play my part of ‘Heart and Soul’? I have to run out to the porch and give Granny George this last strip of fake ermine fur guest towel trim so she can finish our capes in time for us to wear them for the Big Dress Rehearsal.”

“Sure,” said Sam.

Sam knew how to play “Heart and Soul.” He had learned it in case Moxy needed help.

“What if Mom comes down?” said Pansy.

But Moxy had already gone out to the porch.

As soon as Sam started playing Moxy’s part of “Heart and Soul,” Ajax drifted out from his office to see what was up. He’d never heard Moxy play her part so well.

“A Study of a Sleeping Mother,” by Mark Maxwell
.

“The capes are
almost ready,” announced Moxy as she came in from the porch. “You’re doing a very good job playing my part of ‘Heart and Soul,’ Sam,” she added. She listened for a few seconds to see if she could figure out how Sam was going to finish it.

“The crowns!” cried Moxy suddenly. “I almost forgot about the crowns. We can’t have a
real
dress rehearsal without them.”

Sam didn’t stop playing Moxy’s part of “Heart and Soul,” though he did nod in the
direction of the stairs. “But your mom is up there,” he said.

“But she’s in the bathroom talking to Aunt Susan Standish,” said Moxy.

“Don’t forget our silver tap shoes!” Pansy called out as Moxy started up the stairs.

Most people
would have stopped if they had seen their mother sitting slumped against the hall wall at the top of the stairs. But Moxy felt it was probably very good for her mother to have a little nap, so she carefully stepped around her.

Unfortunately
, it was not quite dark enough at the top of the stairs, because just as Moxy was walking by, Mrs. Maxwell opened her eyes and looked at Moxy in surprise.

At first Mrs. Maxwell was confused. She could hear Moxy playing her part of “Heart and Soul” downstairs. Yet there was Moxy standing in front of her.

“Who,” said Mrs. Maxwell, “is playing your part of ‘Heart and Soul’?”

“You were playing
the piano beautifully,” Aunt Susan Standish said to Moxy. “But who is playing it now?”

“Sam,” said Moxy quietly.

Mrs. Maxwell was quite calm.

The fact that her mother was quite calm worried Moxy a great deal, I don’t mind telling you.

Then Mrs. Maxwell stood up (with the assistance of the railing and her sister) and said to Aunt Susan Standish, “Would you care to join me? I’m going downstairs to
hear Moxy play her part of ‘Heart and Soul.’ ”

Aunt Susan Standish said she’d be delighted. And the three walked down the dark stairs.

“Fear!” shouted Ajax
as soon as Moxy sat down at the piano. Ajax got up from his chair. “Fear! Fear! Fear!” he cried.

Everyone looked over at him—except for Granny George, who was still out on the porch finishing the capes.

“Dear,” said Mrs. Maxwell, going over to her husband, “are you okay?”

“Of course!” said Ajax, thumping his forehead with his hand. “Why didn’t I see it before?
FEAR!
It’s the perfect word to rhyme with ‘spear.’

“I must write it down,” he said. He practically ran from the room.

As soon as Ajax practically ran from the room, Mudd started to bark. (Mudd always barked when Moxy sat down to play the piano. That was because Moxy played her part so loudly.)

As soon as Mudd started to bark, Moxy got up, walked slowly over to the porch door, and let him out.

As soon as Moxy let Mudd out, she sat back down at the piano.

As soon as Moxy sat back down at the piano, her mother sat down next to her. Moxy looked up at her mother. “Mother,” she said, “would you please move over? Your hip is practically touching my shoulder.”

Mrs. Maxwell moved her hip one inch.

“Begin,” said Mrs. Maxwell.

Pansy began to play.

But when Moxy didn’t join in, Pansy stopped.

As soon as Pansy stopped, Granny George hurried in from the porch. The capes were in her arms.

“Wait!” called out Granny George.

Then she draped one cape over Moxy’s shoulders and the other over Pansy’s. “Sorry to interrupt,” she added. She crept over to the sofa and sat down next to her daughter (who was also Aunt Susan Standish).

“Continue,” said Mrs. Maxwell.

“Now we have to start all over,” sighed Moxy. “Play it again, Pansy.”