Mr. Softee (4 page)

Lola
had some sort of sparkle makeup dusted on her shoulders and chest. She wore white stretch pants that must have been sprayed on. A bouncing halter top sort of affair about four sizes too small was stretched as tight as possible and still failed to cover.

Her feet, with painted toenails and gold toe rings were strapped to
jeweled, spike-heeled sandals. The heels forced her to take very tiny steps. The slightest hint of a tiny red thong occasionally showed through the stretch pants as she wiggled down the long hall.

She turned and went through a large entry with a sliding door
. The elaborate woodwork surrounding the massive doorway was carved with a series of ice-cream cones.

“Precious, th
at man is here,” she said to Mr. Softee who was propped up in a hospital bed in front of the window. He had what appeared to be a walking cast on his left leg and a phone against his right ear. He gave a perfunctory nod in my direction then continued shouting into his phone.

“No,
didn’t you hear me the first time? I told you we’ll have to push it back by at least a week. I can’t get a straight answer out of any of these quacks. They’re telling me months. I don’t have that kind of time. So move it back a week, to next Wednesday.”

As he shouted
I glanced around the study. All four walls had elegant, dark wooden bookcases standing to a height of about seven feet. The remaining seven feet, up to the elaborate plaster ceiling was covered with oil paintings in heavy gilt frames, all horses. I guessed each painting was probably worth more than my reported take in any given year. Eventually, Mr. Softee screamed into the phone then hung up and glared at me.

“
So, tell me what you found out, well?” he snarled, then dialed his phone and slapped it against his ear.

I
could have told him that the few people I had spoken with referred to him as a bastard, a prick, a butt hole, someone ruthless and difficult. Not exactly a ringing personality endorsement, not that Mr. Softee would have cared.

“Well
sir, it’s not quite that simple. Bit more of a complex issue …”

“
Gary, hang on, I’m dealing with some bullshit, here,” he spit into his phone, then glared at me again.

“You got a name for me?”

“A name?”

“Jesus
save me!” he sighed. “Do you know who did this? Any idea who tried to kill me?”

“I’m not sure anyone did try
. Like I said yesterday, it could have been a simple hit-and-run. I’ve barely gotten start …”

“Barely gotten started
! Is that what you were going to say? What the hell do you think I’m paying you to do? Stand around looking stupid? You got that part down. Get your ass out of here and find out who in the hell was behind this.”

“I’ll see you
out,” Lola was on her feet taking tiny steps toward the door.

“Yeah
, Gary!” Softee was back on the phone as we exited the room. “No just some idiot who can’t get the job done. I know, I know…”

We were a
lmost to the front door. I was thinking of the dogs when I wasn’t thinking of Lola walking ahead of me.

“You have to excuse him, he’
s usually such a little pussycat,” she said turning toward me and giving me a little shoulder shrug that caused a lot of bouncing and ended in a big smile.

I was ha
ving a tough time with all of it.

“Look, Mrs.
Sofmann…”

“Oh, please,
call me Lola I’d like that,” she half whispered, just the hint of a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, look Lola, to tell you the truth, I’ll check things out, but I want to be up front
. I’m just not sure there’s anything here. The fact that your husband didn’t file a police report doesn’t help matters. The people I have talked to really can’t see anyone trying to hurt him to improve their ice-cream business. It just doesn’t seem to add up.”

“T
he ice-cream business?” she asked.

“Yeah, right
. Why, is there something else I should know about?”

“Well
, we have a lot of investments, property, that sort of thing.”

I got the feeling she was being purposely vague.

“Look, could I set up an appointment with your husband? If I could come back and talk to him without interruptions I might be able to make some progress. No hospital monitors, no phone calls, just the two of us, and you, if you think it would help. Maybe I could get an idea of something to go on, but right now, I’ve got nothing. And, well, there’s the matter of a contract. So far I’ve been doing some general legwork, but I would like to enter into a contract agreement.”

“I see,” she said in a way that
made me think she really didn’t.

“Can I set up an appointment through you, or a secretary
, or someone who…”

“
I think I can do that.”

I wasn’t so sure.

“All right, when would be a good time to sit down with him?”

“Why don’t you p
lan on joining us for dinner tonight, if that would work for you?”

I had no
thing going other than Jameson Night down at The Spot.

“
You just tell me what time, and I’ll cancel my meeting and make sure I’m here.”

“Say eight o’clock?
”

“I’ll be here.”

She placed her hand on the doorknob.

“Say, about the dogs, would there be another way out?”

“Another way?” she sounded surprised.

“Yeah,
the dogs I hate to bother them, get them all worked up, you know?”

“Oh
, they’re just doing their job.”

“And let me tell you, they do it very well
. But if there was another way out, you know, so I don’t upset them too much. Besides, a little longer walk around the block would do me good, the exercise, you know.”

She considered that a moment, then said,

“Come on, I’ll let you out the patio door. But you’ll have to be quiet. If they hear you, they can run around to the back.”

I followed
her down the hallway, enveloped in a cloud of her perfume, past the study door where I heard Mr. Softee screaming on the phone at his current victim.

We passed a massive formal staircase
with two brass naked figures balancing on the newel posts then wandered into a formal dining room with a fireplace that could fit a king-size bed. We exited through a swinging door on the far side, crossed a massive kitchen with black granite countertops and white lace curtains to the rear patio doors.

From this vantage
point the manicured back lawn looked peaceful. There was a large flagstone patio, lawn chairs, a fountain, terraced gardens, beautiful flower beds. It looked like a world away from the two meat-eating monsters no doubt still drooling for me by the front door.

“How’s this?” she squeaked and
then gave another little shoulder shrug.

“Nice.”

“No one even knows we’re back here. We’re all alone.”

She stood very still and stared at me
with just the hint of a smile on her face. I could hear her panting. Or was that me?

The little voice in my head sai
d, “don’t even think of trying something,” and for once I listened.

“Where’s the back gate?” I asked, studying the far garden wall.

“Over there, in the corner, see, next to the roses, the climbers,” she said and leaned into me, placed her thumb firmly down the small of my back.

“The
, the, the pink ones?”

“Yeah, no
one can see you coming or going. It’s really private, almost secret. I can take all my clothes off and just lay in the sun,” she said and stared at me again, wide eyed. Her breathing seemed to be getting heavier. “Course then I need help getting the lotion in all the right spots,” she smiled and just stared.

“Ok
ay, I’ll be back tonight at eight for dinner. We can all talk then. No interruptions, right?” I said, just wanting to get out of there before I did something stupid.

She
sighed, nodded, then opened the patio door and leaned very close to me.

I c
ould feel her breath on my face and stared down at all the lucky little sparkles collected in her cleavage.

“Remember
, be very quiet so the dogs don’t hear you,” she said.

“Not to worry,” I replied
and left quickly.

I was
a bit more than midway across the lawn, maybe thirty yards from the back gate when she called out.

“See you tonight
, Mister Haskell. See you tonight. Bye, bye,” she half laughed.

The first two barks were distant
, the third not quite so, and I had the frightening sense they were already on the run. So was I. Fear is a big motivator, and I had already made it to the gate just as they cleared the rear corner of the house. They looked left and right wildly, not sure where their prey was hiding.

I wasn’t hiding
. I was pulling furiously on the locked gate. Even from that distance they must have smelled my panic because they stretched out and raced across the lawn, teeth barred. They zeroed in on me like laser-guided missiles, howling.

In one frightened leap I wa
s almost over the seven-foot iron fence, balancing clumsily on the top as I turned to drop to safety on the other side. Just as I went off the top they leapt. I dropped to the ground on the far side and they slammed against the wrought iron then bounced off and landed on their sides in the middle of one of the massive climbing roses. They yelped loudly as they scrambled bloody and torn through the vicious, razor sharp rose thorns.

“Serves you right, not so fun
ny now, is it, ya bastards?” talking tough from the safe side of the fence. I glanced toward the house and caught the hint of movement just as Lola dropped a lace window curtain.

Chapter Ten

I dressed casually for
the evening, a reasonably clean sport coat and an ironed polo shirt touting the Emporium of Dance in a crest over my left breast. I didn’t know if I should bring a bottle of wine as a hostess gift or a Taser to deal with the dogs. I compromised with a thirty-eight snub in the small of my back and a copy of a contract. I arrived at eight fifteen, stylishly late because the Lincoln was running on fumes, and I really didn’t think I could make it to Mr. Softee’s unless I filled up.

I phoned from the front gate
then waited another interminable length of time listening to the ringing on the other end. Eventually Lola answered sounding very surprised someone was even calling.

“Hello?”

“Hi Lola, Dev Haskell. Sorry I’m late.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, Devlin Haskell. Remember, we had a dinner meeting at eight tonight with Mister Softee and myself, well, and you, if you were planning to join us.”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah, we arranged it this afternoon, in your front hall, before you let me out the patio door.” I didn’t add before you set your dogs after me. I waited, eventually the gate unlocked, but I didn’t move.

“What about your dogs
? Are they out here, have they been fed?” I asked.

I heard another
buzz and audible click as the gate unlocked again, no response from the phone.

I entered the front yard
. Still holding the gate open and called,

“Here boy, here boy, come on, come on
. Here doggies, come here.”

Nothing moved
. Were they waiting to trap me in the open between the house and the gate? I wouldn’t be surprised.

“Here boy, here boy, whe
re are you?”

I whistled a couple of
times.

“What in the hell do you think you’re doing
?” Mr. Softee yelled from the front door. He was standing, both hands on a chrome walker and watching me with beady eyes.

“I was just wondering about your dogs, I didn’t see them and…”

“They’re not here. Someone attacked them this afternoon. We had to call the paramedics, rush them to the vet.”

“The paramedics?”

“Yes, the paramedics! You any idea what in the hell those damn things cost me? They… look just get the hell in here. The next thing you know I’ll be catching a cold with this damn door open while you drag your ass whistling for the dogs that aren’t here. Jesus!”

It was eighty-
two degrees at the moment.

I cautiously walked to the front door
and Mr. Softee. I was not at all sure it wasn’t a setup and the two dogs were waiting just inside to attack me at any moment.

“Come on,
get the hell in here. I’ve been waiting for dinner. You’re late and I’m famished. Close the damn door behind you,” he called over his shoulder as I climbed the front steps. He was already pushing his walker down the massive hall to the rear of the house.